Lemmings

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Lemmings is a video game for the mentally disabled, ported onto every fucking 90's console in existence, and was programmed by David Jones, the same creepy fucknut who would later produce the Grand Theft Auto series. The goal of the game is to safely guide a colony of severely retarded, green-haired democrats called "Lemmings" through a hazardous obstacle course to the goal. The player is given a limited amount of Skillz he can allocate to a particular Lemming aiding in the completion of each stage. This game spawned a fuck-ton of unnecessary sequels, remakes, and fan-made spin-offs; typical of a simplistic video game like this.

Skills[edit]

In order to send all the lemmings to the exit safety, the player must use various skills. The original game had eight skills. These skills include:

LemmingsClimber.png LemmingsFloater.png LemmingsExploder.png LemmingsBlocker.png
Climber Floater Bomber Blocker

Climber[edit]

Climbs up vertical walls like a boss.

Floater[edit]

Uses an umbrella when dropping from lethal heights to save itself from making a gruesome mess on the floor.

Bomber[edit]

Strap a C4 to this motherfucker and watch it go *BOOM*, destroying a small sector of the stage terrain.

Blocker[edit]

This Lemming serves to block the other Lemmings from travelling any further, thus causing them to turn 180 degrees and walk away.



LemmingsBuilder.png LemmingsBasher.png LemmingsMiner.png LemmingsDigger.png
Builder Basher Miner Digger

Builder[edit]

This Lemming will decide to build a staircase until he is out of equipment. That's literally it.

Basher[edit]

Destroys the shit out of anything except metal, carving a long tunnel through large boulders and leaving them to float in mid-air.

Miner[edit]

Essentially the same as a Basher, but will tunnel diagonally.

Digger[edit]

Digs a huge hole into the ground because he can.

Anonymous' opinion on Lemmings[edit]

 
 
i hate lemmings, all you do is die.
 

 

Anonymous, [1]

 
 
Our geography teacher was convinced that lemmings do commit mass suicide.
 

 

Anonymous (Protip: Don't ask Geography teachers biologic questions), [2]

 
 
(USER MADE LEMMINGS GO "OH NOES!")
 

 

Anonymous, [3]

 
 
Lemmings. Fucking win game.
 

 

Anonymous, [4]

Nostalgia threads[edit]

Nuvola
Moar info: Nostalgia Thread.
 
 
when i was younger there was this ms-dos game... my cousin and i spent hours controlling lemmings and shit. i wish i still had that game.
 

 

Anonymous, [5]

 
 
It was always knuckles from sonic the hedgehog for me. Or one of those fucking lemmings.
 

 

Anonymous, [6]

 
 
I used to play multiplayer Lemmings with my sister on the SNES. She didn't really play games all that much, though she did help me beat Bubbleman in Megaman 2. Anyway, we never really cared about winning, but would just build bridges to nowhere and watch our lemmings die. Of course, then she went to college. I remember we both cried so hard that time. That was a while ago, but I still miss her being around.
 

 

Anonymous, [7]

Due to its age and poor graphics, Lemmings are often mentioned within Nostalgia threads. Like anything else mentioned in a nostalgia thread, Lemmings is treated as a vintage of fine wine. Knowledge of this game shows that one is a connoisseur of the fine facets of the 90s.

Applied to human beings[edit]

 
 
Every day, people look more and more like the identical lemmings they are, with hip emo bangs, or the constant cell phones freaking welded to their faces.
 

 

Anonymous, [8]

 
 
The more that you support banning for unoriginal content and lemming like attitudes is the day you start losing the casual visitors.
 

 

Anonymous (USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST), [9]

Certain humans display lemming-like characteristics. They follow the crowd and do whatever their peers tell them so. In fact, a common idiom used to argue to conformers is "If someone told you to jump off a cliff, would you?" Lemmings dress the same, talk the same, and listen to the same music. Bloggers generally use "lemming" as an insult to people that don't conform to their own beliefs. Linux supporters call Micro$oft fans "lemmings", and vice versa. Republicans call Obama's followers "lemmings", and Democrats call Reagan worshipers "lemmings" as well.

4chan is a magnet for a class of lemmings called Newfags. These lemmings overuse memes and post unoriginal image macros in order to be accepted by the rest of the Anonymous collective, and they usually fail. Lemmings such as those are often blamed for memes lasting for years instead of weeks, and for the last of OC. Scientists has recently discovered lemmings to be a major cause for Internet cancer.

Gallery[edit]

See also[edit]

External links[edit]


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