Likes

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They're real.
The appropriate response to a like whore.

Likes, the gay morbidly obese autistic brother of dislikes, are an unofficial form of currency on the majority of websites. It gives a sense of "worth" to the users of the internets, and it's the rubbery black dildo of the internets that penetrates users to keep posting. More often than not, the more likes you have forcefully shoved up your anus, the more "kewler" you are to other users. These like whores are seen as bad asses by the foolish users who fall blind to their faggotry, and are butt-buddies with the mods. They live in this fantasy, in which they think that they are the most original oldfag on the site, that every post they make is pure gold, and that they are the savior of the internets and lulz. Even though in reality, Saving the internets without getting a lethal dose of cancer and fail is impossible. People who think they aren't just another faggot on the web cause they have more likes are not bad asses, but rather disillusioned faggots who have fucked themselves into believing that getting "liked" by some cock smuggler on the net has a value. In truth, likes are worth about as much as another dead nigger lying in the streets of Detroit. A smart user, if any exist, would know not to waste their time on licking the internets large gaping butthole, as when they die, the users of the internets will to busy lubing themselves up for the ass fucking they are about to get from the endless supply of drama, lulz, and cancer they provide. Fortunately on some websites, they have implemented the ass raping dislike button, which if used correctly, will shrink the like whores dick even smaller and give it the creamy taste of the nut butter of reality. Use it enough, and the like whore will finally realize how much of a stale unfunny semen soaked kissless virgin faggot it is, and will ultimately fall under it's own fail and turn into a black hole. At this stage it will try everything to get someone to fill it's black hole, preferably with likes. The best thing to do now at this moment, is to keep disliking the faggot, while simultaneously squeezing your nipples until it acknowledges that no one likes it and hopefully kills itself. Either way that will only give you a few seconds of breathing time, as another like whore will quickly crawl up your sweaty anus and begin the cycle yet again.

CAUTION. The previous paragraph shows how likes would be perceived from the viewpoint of a sperg. Actually likes provide an easy way for websites to tell which content is likely to be enjoyed by other users, so that they can display this content on their "most liked" pages. 
DOUBLE CAUTION. The previous caution contains information that nobody cares about and is an example of a common internet phenomena where certain people go out of their way to make the issue of likes serious business.

Like whores[edit]

Facebook extra hard like.jpg
Towelie is a great example of a like whore
A whore who couldn't get its fix

A cousin of the common attention whore, likes whores are generally faggots who only post things that appeal to a wide audience to get their daily fix of likes. They will often fall to peer pressure, and do whatever they must do to get accepted, even if it means the extreme. They are oblivious to the fact that it will eventually lead to their painful death, and an butt hole hole wider than the nostrils of a jew's giant dick nose. As with any whore, their body becomes stale, and the same goes with whores as their posts become stale until the filthy whore literally turns into a dry crusty cum drenched towel long forgotten by the users, but through time they'll soon forget also, and the filthy whore will make a come back, and once again get their meat stroked by thousands of cock hungry faggots having a head rush. If they're lucky, one of these mods who aren't complete nipple lickers will stop the dirty whore in it's tracks.

Moderator Power[edit]

What you get when you suck a mods cock long enough.

One of the very unique things exclusive to moderators on sites which the like button is implemented is that getting likes for them is extremely easy. Instead of posting random forced memes and selling their butthole to other users, mods can easily get likes by just posting in a thread, even if the post is completely irrelevant and stupid. This has been proven by the fact that users are for some reason attracted to different colored user names, and when seen, will instantly jump on the mods cock and start shuckin it down for notability. Anyone caught ridiculing the mods post will be tentacle fucked by a wave of octopussies and thrown into the dark snatch of ban woman. On the contrary, if you sniff the mods anus long enough, you might receive a reward and a different colored username.

Abusing The Dislike Button[edit]

The failure of the like button
The original

As said before, the dislike button is one of the very few ways to get a like whore to fuck off. Unfortunately, the dislike button can be abused just as it's gay faggot brother. Typically it is abused by someone who has been devastatingly sodomized with a lubricated banana on steroids or a giant jar of bee's while they were sleeping. Offering constructive criticism to someone who has been touched inappropriately in their fanny will result in them having a seizure or shatting themselves. The most severe case of people harassing the dislike button comes from them learning the truth. For example, if you went to the Brony board on funnyjunk and made a thread consisting of something along the lines of "THIS SHOW IS FOR FUCKING CHILDREN YOU FILTHY PONY WANKERS" then most likely you will be disliked until ban. Though it depends if you're being truly honest or just trolling. Sometimes anus bruised testyflappers will use long complex and hard to spell words, such as "Inevitable, Prejudiced, Narrow-minded, Faggot, and Idiosyncratic" to confuse you, or make it sound like they're winning the argument (which they probably are). You have only 4 ways to counter this.

  1. Pull out the trusty Zoidberg butthurt cream
  2. Respond back with even smarter more complex words
  3. Tell them to FUCKING DEAL WITH IT
  4. Simply reply back with NO U

How to get Likes[edit]

What users fight for..

Due to the fact that the average I.Q of a user on the internets is as about as high as the smartest autistic kid in a special ed class. It is relatively easy to get likes. So follow these ways and your dirty whore hands will soon have their own pool full of aids.

[-+]"The Boss Way"[edit]

  1. Find some casual fag on the forum
  2. Get in an argument with him
  3. Spread his anus open and shove you're cock in it, and ultimately pwn him to death.
  4. ????
  5. PROFIT!!!

[-+]"The Shoop Way"[edit]

  1. Find some faggot on the forum that everybody hates.
  2. Find a photo of him or some one/something precious to him
  3. Shoop some cocks on it.
  4. ????
  5. PROFIT!!!

[-+]"The Faggot Way"[edit]

"The Faggot Way"

  1. Create a sock account and use fake name generator to confirm the email.
  2. Like your own post like a faggot.
  3. Rinse and repeat until the mods get off their lazy asses and raep you to death.
  4. ????
  5. PROFIT!!!

[-+]"The Junky Way"[edit]

  1. Go on Funnyjunk
  2. Open another tab and find some funny pictures on google.
  3. Post it with the description "sory if it repost"
  4. ????
  5. PROFIT!!!

[-+]"The Charityfag Way"[edit]

  1. Go on Funnyjunk or facebook.
  2. Say you will donate X amount of jewgold to a charity of their choosing for each like received
  3. Masturbate uncontrollably to all the likes you're getting
  4. ????
  5. PROFIT!!!

[-+]"The Jew Way"[edit]

  1. Shove your giant jew nose into someones hard earned likes.
  2. Sniff them up and shoot them out of you're nostrils onto your post.
  3. ????
  4. PROFIT!!!

[-+]"The Moderator Way"[edit]

  1. Be a moderator
  2. Post in a thread
  3. Get a shit ton of likes by users blindly
  4. ????
  5. PROFIT!!!

[-+]"The Youtube Way v1"[edit]

  1. Find a video with bad quality.
  2. Post in the comment section "240p we meet again"
  3. ????
  4. PROFIT!!!

[-+]"The Youtube Way v2"[edit]

  1. Find a video
  2. Quote something someone said in the video which users found funny.
  3. ????
  4. PROFIT!!!

[-+]"The Youtube Way v3"[edit]

  1. Find a video
  2. Post something completely obvious about the video that most people agree on, such as "This video was funny, lol."
  3. ????
  4. PROFIT!!!

[-+]"The Youtube Way v4"[edit]

  1. Find a video
  2. Exclaim how you were inspired by the creator of the video.
  3. ????
  4. PROFIT!!!

[-+]"The Facebook Way"[edit]

  1. Log in to facebook.
  2. Post something along the lines of "Like this if you love your mom"
  3. ????
  4. PROFIT!!!

[-+]"The "The EDF2 Way v1"[edit]

  1. Be Uberfukken
  2. Post something
  3. ????
  4. PROFIT!!!

[-+]"The "The EDF2 Way" v2"[edit]

  1. Find a shitty thread
  2. Talk about how shitty it is
  3. ????
  4. PROFIT!!!

[-+]"The I Can Has Cheezburger Way"[edit]

  1. CREATE FUNNIE MEEM
  2. POST FUNNIE MEME
  3. HAVE PPL LIEK FUNNIE MEEM
  4. ????
  5. PROFIT!!!

[-+]"The 9GAG Way"[edit]

  1. Find a rage comic or meme that doesn't belong to you.
  2. Watermark dat bitch!
  3. Post rage comic/meme that still doesn't belong to you.
  4. ????
  5. PROFIT!!!

[-+]"The Imgur Way 1"[edit]

[-+]"The Imgur Way 2"[edit]

  1. Find funny meme
  2. Post funny meme
  3. ????
  4. PROFIT!!!

[-+]"The /b/ Way"[edit]

  1. Realize that there is no like button on /b/.
  2. ????
  3. PROFIT!!!

[-+]"The Leddit Way"[edit]

[-+]"The Digg Way"[edit]

  1. Dig through Reddit until you find suitable content
  2. Post it as if it were new
  3. ????
  4. PROFIT!!!

[-+]"The Nigger Way"[edit]

  1. Still duh wheat mans' internet
  2. Plug internet into wall
  3. Stare at wall.
  4. ????
  5. PROFIT!!!

[-+]"The best way"[edit]

  1. Kill yourself on camera and somehow upload it to youtube or stream it and embed it/or link it in your thread and post it.
  2. Watch as users rejoice over your glorious suicide, and like accordingly.
  3. Have gay sex with satan in hell
  4. ????
  5. PROFIT!!!

Gallery[edit]

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

See Also[edit]

MEH


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Featured article August 23 & 24, 2013
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