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Linkara

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Linkara,
DO IT FAGGOT!
If you squint he kinda looks like Chris-chan
A Young Linkara, in the days before he had to pay his billth.
 
 
Welcome to Atop The Black Cock,

Where your anus burns.
Linkara's gonna show all
Where he wastes his sperm.

Cosplays like an autist!
His girlfriend's aren't the hottest!
Fleecing his fans to make a movie
That will be a turd!

Linkara!
He's a nasty cockslut, so please don't block the ads!
Linkara!
Hermaphrodite girls gonna plough him in the ass!

Linkara!
Rape, futa, BBC and cuck!
Linkara!
Sixty thousand bucks!
LINKARA!!
 


 

—TheLameGamer's wonderful new version of Linkara's theme song.


Lewis Lovhaug is a pro-feminist, neo-con closeted bisexual sick fuck who currently spends his time reviewing comic books on Channel Awesome, where he pretends he was never a bad webcomic writer with Sonichu-level art skills and a retired man-slut who hung out on adult websites in search of cock. He claims to have a bachelor's in English with a minor in Philosophy, meaning his parents paid for his college education and he had no idea what to do with it. He also claims that makes him a college educated, professional comedian, when in reality just makes him a retard with a useless degree.

Hopelessly unfunny and thoroughly convinced he will achieve feminist godhood by endlessly sucking Gail Simone's cock, his videos epically fail on every account - being blessed with a grating voice and the comedic timing of a dead man. Ironically, despite claiming to be a bonafide feminist, Lovhaug also claims to be a conservative (which at least fits with his book burning). When he gets the chance, he tries to make you buy his Watchmen rip-off comic he made.

As his series goes on, he also continues to be agonizingly unlulzy due to boring-as-fuck source material, missed joke opportunities, and a storyline as unfunny and uninteresting as many of the contributors on the site. Seriously, why the fuck do reviews need stories? They are as bad as porn with stories and only showcase his pathetic wish-fulfillment power fantasy.

Also speculated upon is the fact that he actually knows anything at all about comics or that he just bought himself a collection of books like the way Irate Gamer did by buying himself his game collection from eBay so he could make money on this "original" show concept. As stated several times by himself, Linkara only does this for the money that site brings it, including ranting why the Watchmen movie sucked so he could earn money on trolling the "fans."

However, in recent years, it's become quite obvious that he has metamorphosed into one of the contributors who believes that maybe, just maybe, this can turn into a full-time job. An example would be when he was wiping Spoony's ass and cleaning up the mess when the retarded manchild starting acting like a dick to a fan with a legitimate question. But as this example shows, like a good company man, Linkara rabidly defends even the worst of his co-contributors, including the massive failfag known as TheDistressedWatcher. Furthermore, to ensure his loyalty to Channel Awesome, he had to post that he refused to comment on ThatAussieGuy's canning.

Sadly, Linkara has become quite popular on the site and his rabidly retarded fans quickly cast out any decent comic book reviewer. While it seems the source of the site's cancer comes from Linkara, the combined shit reviewers' failures evidence Linkara's role is minimal. As he studies his co-workers on the site so he can be a part of their clique by example trying to quote the movie Dune with Spoony and Nostalgia Critic's brother, many, many months after Spoony had told about this activity in a video commentary. If you thought Nostalgia Critic calling out the Angry Video Game Nerd into battle to boost his fame was sad, then you should take a good look at Linkara.

It's quite obvious no one on TGWTG knows how to do a proper review, as Linkara just gives a summary of the plot of what he's reviewing, giving rise to the question why would one buy the thing when they can have some professional reviewer read out the whole thing to you in the same bland, monotone voice.

Potential Furry

In his Countdown Prologue video at 11 minutes, after getting to a furry character and given the chance to make a joke about furfags, he instead gets butthurt and says the following quote:


   
 
No, I'm not going to make a furry joke. Get over it, Internet! Some people just don't have the same interests as you!
 

 
 


Not to mention that his support for the furry fandom is well known on the forum. Perhaps a bit too well known? Potential lulz may ensue if Linkara actually does turn out to be a furfag.

This is also the most likely reason why he refuses to review 'Sonichu' on his show, because he does not want to insult his own kind (Starts around 24:00)

Additionally, in his Angel Armor series he states that the protagonist "Louis" is in love with a "Cat-girl". It can't get much more blatant than that.

Linkara the "Writer"

As mentioned before, Linkara has a degree in English. This had led Linkara under the blind impression that he is a writer. Hysterically, Linkara's writing is worse than his video reviews. Don't believe me? Read the sample pages of Linkara's Angel Armor series. Note how Linkara insults the reader for not knowing obscure Greek mythology, fails at recapping what has happened in the last books, and uses rape to induce drama, and has a catwomen (who can magiks) as his self-insert's girlfriend. Truly that English degree has cultivated a truly great writer! Another thing to note is how Linkara writes for 2 web-comic books at the same time. There is a third web-comic book Linkara is only peripheral in it as a crossover. This suggests Linkara is an "all-work-no-play" kind of guy who constantly spews shit, possibly explaining how he got Iron Liz since Linkara probably can't be bothered going more than 15 minutes out of his basement since HE HAS IMPORTANT COMICZ B00KS TO WRITEZ!!1!! And no. Not a single one of them is good. The saddest part is that through all his posturing as some sort of comic-book critic with taste and level-headed sensibilities he's just another piece of public-hosted webcomic runoff that got lucky.

Revolution Of The Mask

A really bad 1984 rip-off mixed with Watchmen with a hint of The Dark Knight Returns. Revolution Of The Mask is also where Linkara uses his useless Philosophy minor to spew nonsense. Linkara, being the borderline retarded feminist he is, depicts women being forced to give men sex at any and all times when asked, as if to warn people OF THIS IS WHERE SOCIETY IS HEADING!!eleven!1!!! The protagonist is abducted by a Rorschach rip-off, a Wonder Women rip-off, and a ninja who are all conveniently the world's first superheros. Linkara had to go through three artist in order to get even two issues released, with one of them just altogether disappearing on him.

What a great business man.

Lightbringer

A truly epic piece of lulz when looking at his earliest pieces of MS paint drawings. Linkara would eventually hire out an 'actual' artist in order to throw money away at a comic NO ONE reads. The story is about the first superhero in the world (again) who is essentially Bruce Wayne but with some vague powers. There really isn't a story here outside of tasteless cruel acts against women. The goons of Something Awful had a field day with his shitty comic on multiple occasions and Linkara took it to heart.

Here is a more step by step review of the Lightbringer (you mean Lucifer, amirite?) comic.

Crossoverlord

What-lord? Oh you mean that comic he barely worked on and abandoned for other people to finish while he joined the TGWTG Circle-jerk?

History of Power Rangers

Linkara, dressed as the Green Power Ranger. Note the clear display of bitch tits, despite wearing a chest covering.

As a side project Linkara likes to sperg out about his favorite wapanese show as a kid that was severely butchered and no where near as good as Kamen Rider. Here he critiques each series like fine wine or a classic piece of american literature. He also goes out of his way to buy official props used on the show as said by copycat dealers making a fast buck on this retard at comic cons.

In November 2010 Linkara's recent update about the series started off with a 6 minute butt hurt statement driven at his fan base. He claims that he was busy being jobless, attending conventions, and filming the worst thing imaginable next to Kickassia. (the horror starts at 22 minute mark) Lewis apparently doesn't understand how to make a short message about his future work being put on hiatus, and gets a huge uproar of fan backlash from his pure ignorance. Furthermore, he probably should have been far less bitchy about this update, but nobody really gives that much of a shit about his "History of the Power Rangers" series to tell him this.

Iron Liz (Linkara's BoyGirlfriend)

Iron Liz,
The only girl Linkara could get.
Iron Liz, before the operation.
Atomic.gif Warning!
IRON LIZ MAY ACTUALLY BE INVISIBLE CRANE BEFORE OR AFTER THE SEX CHANGE,
WE CAN'T ACTUALLY TELL WHICH WAY AROUND!!!

Iron Liz is Linkara's girlfriend, though the girl part is debatable. Linkara introduced us to this beautiful flower by having her host two of his episodes. To no one's surprise, these videos were bombarded by "hateful" comments since she failed to be nearly as lulzy as Linkara. Ironically, he wrote these episodes, which makes you wonder even more about his abilities as a writer. This stunt proved to be so unsuccessful, in fact, that some fans are still praising teh lawd that Iron Liz did not return to review another crappy comic.


   
 
Finally, no more Iron whatever the hell her name is... good ol' Linkara.
 

 
 

— See: Fact

"I stuck my infant penis inside of that beast!?"
Who needs a chastity belt?
After seeing Iron Liz in a bikini bra, you'll never have an erection ever again!


Of course, the Geico Caveman (seriously, look at her manly forehead) wrote a butthurt entry on her site all about this detailing how she will "CUT YOUR BELLY OPEN" because she is pissed that fans (rightfully) complained about her lackluster effort and actually blaming her boyfriend for most of the problems that she had with her cameos. BAWWW. Thanks to the TGWTG's wankary, however, Iron Liz decided to make her own review show of RPG games. Wait, you thought she reviewed video games? No, she reviews table top RPGs, like Dungeon and Dragons. That's right. Iron Liz decided to review the most obscure and useless of all things ever, taking Boring Lame Board James's award-winning concept of reviewing board games and making it so much worse. Iron Liz even takes after Spoony with long fucking blogs about what a big poopy head her boss is including this horrifying piece of work. WARNING: THIS VIDEO WILL FUCK OUT YOUR BRAINS (skip to 6 minutes in unless you like hearing about her fucking family and how much she hates them). It should also be noted, that after (s)he appeared in Linkara's show, the fans were immediately confused about her gender, thus she ended up making sad videos where she wore only her bra and had camera focused on her cleavage. All of this just to prove that she indeed is a woman (and in hopes that some sad fucks would fap to her).

Speaking of Spoony, she immediately flew off the handle when Spoony made a gay joke in one of his videos. She then proceeded to rage, much to the indifference of everyone else.

Again, What a great catch Linkara got!!!

The two eventually moved in together but the stress of living with a he/she must have gotten too strong for Linkara as the two broke-up in late 2011 with Liz dumping their two-bedroom Fuckshack on Linkara, who likely can't afford to live alone there.

PLZ STOP USING ADBLOCK GUYZ

"If you watch even one second of Linkara's videos and don't contribute, you're a thief. A COMMON THIEF!!"

Last Thursday, Linkara made a video asking everyone to stop using AdBlock, the best thing to happen to the internet since Encyclopedia Dramatica. His reasons for this were allegedly because the five people still watching his shit were denying him his Jew Gold by using this software, and apparently reading comics out loud is what Linkara calls his job. Needless to say, the vid in question was full of lulz, blatant greed and butthurt. He also reveals that he's fine with cheating the ad companies out of their money, and other internet reviewers out of their views, so long as he gets his moneyz.



   
 
As such, let's talk about why the ads are there and why I need you guys to see the ads.
 

 
 

—Linkara, getting right to the point

   
 
This is my day job. I have no other job except for producing the videos. This is how I pay my bills.
 

 
 

—Linkara, expecting people to take pity on him because he's lazy

   
 
It would take too much time for me to produce the videos and work a 9-5. I just couldn't do it.
 

 
 

—Linkara, either forgetting or ignoring the existence of part-time jobs

   
 
I'm not going to ask you to completely remove the ad-blockers. I get why people use them. However, most ad-blockers have the option to whitelist the site.
 

 
 

—Linkara, fine with denying other people their ad revenue as long as he gets his

   
 
However, there are ways around that. One: You can mute the ad for thirty seconds, check your email, check another tab or whatever.
 

 
 

—Linkara, encouraging his fans to cheat the advertizing companies who pay his bills

   
 
Some people have told me that they do not wish to support a product that they don't feel is worth the time sitting through the advertizement for. In other words, they didn't like the video.
 

 
 

—Linkara, annoyed at people who don't think he deserves to be paid for producing shit

   
 
But that's basically saying that you have no respect for me or my efforts to entertain you.
 

 
 

—Linkara, finally getting it?

   
 
And until such a time that it changes, this is how the system works now, and punishing me for it seems a tad unfair.
 

 
 

—Linkara, acting his age

   
 
If you're having problems seeing ads on mobile devices, I highly encourage you to contact Blip and let them know
 

 
 

—Linkara, telling people to ask websites to enable ads on their phones

   
 
And failing all of that, if you still wish to use Adblock or are just unable to see the advertizements, there are other ways of supporting the show...
 

 
 

—Linkara, before spending a minute begging people to buy his shitty DVDs, T-shirts and donate to him on Paypal

   
 
However, enough people have asked to directly donate money to me that... fine, I'm giving in.
 

 
 

—Awww, that's so nice of you

Possibly even lulzier than Linkara's video are his few remaining fanboys trying to defend his actions:

   
 
Linkara: Okay, I just let the same ad play over & over again 100 times on several of your videos (possibly more than 100) so you could make back some lost revenue.
 

 
 

—LikaLaruku, learning from Linkara how to cheat the advertizing companies

   
 
If I were in his position I would do the same thing. I would be very annoyed if the people I work for found a loophole to prevent me from getting money I had earned. He's not asking for help; he's asking people to be fair.
 

 
 

—Dacilriel, not knowing what the term "e-begging" means

   
 
Amykins. Why the hell do you even come to this site? Simply TO troll. You hate on everything you see. You're probably just a self-entitled 20 something who thinks they deserve whatever they want whenever they want. Grow up.
 

 
 

—DamonLightbringer, thinking someone disagreeing with your opinions = trolling

   
 
Ok dude, you need to go eat a marshmallow and choke yourself. Hey, if my statement is harsh, let me assure you that it's not harsh in comparison to what you said to Linkara. Really? REALLY??
 

 
 

—Moreno X, admitting that he wants someone to die for disagreeing with his idol

   
 
I support you Linkara. Maybe I can't afford to send donations, but I would if I could, in a heartbeat.
 

 
 

—cearaivory, upset that he doesn't get enough welfare money to donate to Linkara

   
 
Do you have a job? 10 hours a week at Wal-Mart does not count, neither does a paper route.
 

 
 

—NaturallyBaked, it's more of a job than what Linkara does

   
 
Oh you've given in? How admirable, you've finally 'given in' and allowed people to give you money for free. Listen to yourself.
 

 
 

—octo7, quoted for truth

   
 
I really don't mind the idea of doing a subscription-based service, but unfortunately that's not viable for me at the moment since I lack the knowledge or infrastructure to establish it.
 

 
 

—Linkara, admitting that he'd charge people for his videos if he knew how

   
 
I never go to other youtube pages where someone has copied your videos and posted them ad free or, even worse, claimed them so they earn revenue from YOUR work!
 

 
 

—Phoenix Blaze, providing an excellent new idea for trolling Linkara

   
 
Translation: "I don't like wasting time on commercials! How dare you make me feel bad for not giving up a little bit of my time to let you make money from my viewing! Entitlement entitlement entitlement blah."
 

 
 

—FenrirEX, thinking being an uncreative kiss-ass will let him into Linkara's pants

   
 
Please throw yourself under a bus
 

 
 

—Neo_Genesis, presenting a mature, logical response to one of Linkara's critics

If you haven't downloaded and installed AdBlock yet, be sure to do so. Aside from protecting you from all the repetitive ads and pop-ups, it also makes greedy bitches like Linkara (and his fanboys) squeal and provide us with delicious lulz. AdBlock is also confirmed to piss off Darksydephil, TheAmazingAtheist and Chuggaaconroy, which makes it awesome by default. Just make sure you whitelist ED, though.

Closet Case Exposed

'm a nasty cock slut.jpg

For years there had been skepticism surrounding Linkara's alleged heterosexuality, but as 2015 came around the evidence needed to prove he was lying about it suddenly surfaced.

LordKat, an ex-TGWTG.com contributor, managed to get Iron Liz to appear on his stream, where she revealed that she used to be a man, to nobody's surprise. However, Liz also explained that she was still a pre-op transexual when they were dating, and Linkara had been aware of it since their second date. And if that wasn't enough, Liz also believed that Linkara was gay! Linkara's response? "Liz has always been a woman. The fact that she had a man's body doesn't matter. I am straight." Never mind the fact that Iron Liz referred to her past self as a man, she doesn't understand herself like Linkara does!

But fine, maybe Linkara is so brainwashed he refuses to acknowledge the existence of a pre-op transsexual's dick, not like it hasn't happened before right? Well, there's more...

"Wait a second, this isn't Jungle Meatrockets Monthly!"

In February 2015, a search for some old Linkara video by an anonymous fa/tv/irgin led to the discovery that Linkara had made hundreds of posts on a shemale porn forum from 2005 to 2006 under the names "Psyweedle" and "Reuisu" - The latter, which is Lewis's attempt at pronouncing his name like a moon person, is also the username that Linkara goes by on his YouTube account (a name that he had apparently tried on numerous occasions before to change if the screencaps of him asking his fanbase for help on his Tumblr are anything to go by). Further damning poor ol' Linkypoos was that both of these profiles bore an advertisement for his old Lightbringer comic in his signature.

It was on these forums that Linkara freely admitted a love for big tits, shemales, and cock in general. It was not long before dozens of shameful posts had been dug up, screenshots of his profile were spread all over, and there was no doubt that Linkara was even more of a faggot that most people expected.

No brainwashing here, just a huge pervert.

   
 
Writing, video games, sci-fi... that's pretty much it. Yeah, I'm a geek^^;; OH! I love large breasts and big cocks... especially together on a shemale/herm.^_~
 

 
 

—Linkara's interests, notice he doesn't mention vaginas at all.

   
 
*Enters the room and sits down in a nearby chair*

Well, I'm bi and I'll wait my turn either to give or recieve!
 


 
 

—Linkara, temporarily coming out of the closet

   
 
*Grumbles.* I leave for a day and miss a guy who wants to be sucked. Ah, well. I'm available for sucking or being sucked at the moment! ^_^
 

 
 

—Linkara, missing an opportunity

   
 
Oh yeah? I'm a nasty cock slut, Jenny, I can apply as I wish. ^_~
 

 
 

—Nasty cock slut

   
 
Mmm, personally my favorite's the black one. ^_~ Albeit I wouldn't mind being between those two lovely shemales, a cock in both holes
 

 
 

—Linkara, lover of BBC

   
 
Heyas, all! I'd love to have some online fun with shemales/herms/ etc.! My profile gives you a basic idea of what I look like, you can inquire in this thread, over PMs, or in an e-mail. ^_~ While I'd love to have some RL fun, sadly I don't have the convenience of meeting people (and I'm saving myself for my true love, whomever that may be. ^^). So, reply in any way you can!
 

 
 

—Guess he got the convenience at some point.

   
 
*He grins and walks over between your legs, dropping down to his knees and licking his lips in excitement.* Ready to receive!
 

 
 

—Linkara, preparing to give an e-blowjob

   
 
Don't know, don't care, blocking and forgetting about it.
 

 
 

—Present-day Linkara, who would soon go on to Delete as much evidence of his sick fuckery as possible and pretend he grew out of his bisexuality.

   
 
Lots of people on 4chan want to fuck trannys. Lots of people on 4chan don't claim to be holier than thou Christians and then write depraved as fuck degenerate stories about big black men pounding their boipussies while they want to fuck those trannys though. This is why his case is different. This is like finding out the guy who sits out in front of funerals with a sign that says GOD HATES FAGS has a boyfriend named Jamal he lets assfuck him every night.
 

 
 

—/tv/ on Linkara's hypocrisy

   
 
Shocking most of all is that Iron Liz was PROTECTING LINKARA.

Okay, let's get this out there so we can understand just what a good person she is and what a shit Linkara REALLY is.

Iron Liz took a verbal beatdown from the internet. It fucking sucks no doubt to have a hundred or a thousand people tell you that you're ugly or whatever. Iron Liz took this beatdown for a dog's age all while people finally got around to thinking she was just an incredibly UGLY WOMAN and at the time Liz went, "Yup, that's it! I'm an ugly woman!" And at the same time Linkara is getting what he wants which is tranny cock.

When Liz FINALLY GETS SURGERY Linkara drops her because she no longer has the thing he wants. Liz outs herself and nobody has the mind to point this out or shove it right in Lunkoora's face that "Hey, you fucking scumbag. This person actually had feelings for you and not only that, you used them for your sexual fantasies and nothing more." Fuck this guy.

Linkara is a fucking selfish shitbag.
 


 
 

—Anon on Linkara and Iron Liz's relationship.

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Linkara is part of the TGWTG Circle-jerk

Circlejerk: That Guy With The GlassesDoug WalkerJewWarioLinkaraThe Spoony ExperimentScrewAttack/Former TalentAngry JoeTodd in the ShadowsNostalgia ChickJesuotakuAnime News Network
Enemies: AsalieriScrewAttack