Liskula Cohen✡ is a psychotic, lying, whoring skank who has recently been whoring her status as a C-list model in order to feel better about her flat, pale ass, saggy tits, fucked-up nose and failed career. Liskula's whorish behavior is comparable to that of a two-dollar hooker struggling to feed her thirteen little bastards. The hooker flaunts her malformed and vein-ridden tits every night so that the kids can eat "tomato soup". However, the"tomato soup" is actually a mixture of ketchup, water, dead weevils, green eggs, and dick.
In August 2008, an awesome blog entry was posted on the internets. Posted on a blog titled Skanks In NYC that was hosted on Blogger, it posited numerous badass and entirely accurate comments about Liskula Ho-in's lifestyle and physical person, such as: "Liskula is an OLD HAG", "a skank", "#1 Skanky Superstar of '09" and a "promiscuous woman who is filthy, disgusting, foul and a whore".
When Liskula stumbled upon this blog, she was immediately rendered irreparably butthurt and resorted to a Jew's first line of defense: SUING. That's right, Liskula proceeded to sue the Internet! Liskula proves once again that lawsuits over frivolous and anonymous online insults by jerkoffs that nobody ever paid attention to in the first place will only cause the insult to spread further and last forever.
When someone on the internet says, "How old is this skank? Forty something? She’s a psychotic, lying, whoring, still-going-to-clubs-at-her-age skank," the appropriate response from Liskula would be to ignore it, not to call her lawyer because somebody's onto her.
When Liskula is not suing the Internet, she likes to get in bar fights. SRSLY! Last Thursday she was smashed in the face with a vodka bottle by the doorman of a New York City hotel with whom she didn't want to share some vodka (you can bet she'll learn how to share next time). She received 46 stitches and can no longer model. The doorman was obviously aware of her skankery long before the blogging debacle, and he has now been recognized as one of the preeminent skank-slayers of our times.
Not only is Liskula a skank, she's a miscegenating kike bitch. Like any other Jewish slut, Liskula Cohen LOVES niggers. Just look at the picture of her letting one of them run its monkey paws up her skirt! ATTN to all rich men in New York who may fall for this whore's muffin bluffing: she's got a bunch of nigger diseases. Don't shell out any money for this shit.
I am, like, so famous with my story on TV
Watch this donkeyfaced bitch fucking whine, cry, and act like a pant-pissing, middle school cunt on national TV. Bawwww, so dramatic!:
Note that her whorish exhibitionist pictures aren't mentioned even once in the course of this entire bullshit interview.
—Liskula Cohen on being butthurt and suing Anon.
Rosemary Port, #1 Skankbuster
—Rosemary Port on Liskula doing it wrong
Google has outed 29-year-old Fashion Institute of Technology student Rosemary Port (who ironically looks actually pretty and way more fuckable than Cohen) as the blogger who created the original Skanks In NYC blog. In response, Port has filed a lolsuit of her own, suing Google for $15,000,000 for revealing her name.
All the way to Mexican...
After successfully suing Google, Liskula was awarded the email and IP of the blogger, Rosemary Port, and pretended that the person who said it was "an irrelevant person in my life." The result was an epic shitstorm on Blogspot and LiveJournal, the aftermath of which still continues. If she wishes for the harassment to end, there is only one solution.
Let's face it: the only reason she got anywhere with her case was because she was a New York Kike and knew how to suck the Judge's pussy. Also, she's REALLY FUCKING OLD.
—Cohen's lawyer, Steven Wagner, finally getting a clue a bit too late
—Port's heroic lawyer, Salvatore Strazzullo
Reaction on Jewtube
Liskula is so skanky...
- ...a man divided by zero and her vagina appeared.
- ...she makes your skanky mom look like Mother Teresa.
- ...even Candlejack didn't dare to go near her when she called.
- ...she once verbally recited the entire Tanakh perfectly while swallowing a giant horse cock.
- ...my dog came home happy last night.
- ...every Purim, she hosts an annual safari in her bush.
- ...she often sits in the middle of busy areas with her legs spread open and a sign that reads, "Free breakfast, all you can eat."
- ...that she was going to have my babies, but the guy in line behind me had the correct change.
- ...she had a restraining order put out on a horse.
- ...the smell of her cunt is a neurotoxin whose use is regarded as a war crime per the Geneva Convention.
- ...she is the first human to ever have been impregnated by a fungal infection.
- ...she eats with her bum.
- ...her cooch has teeth that it grew to keep her fingers out.
- ...she has frightened away furries.
- ...she has a GPS locator in her uterus in case she loses it.
- ...her anus, on several occasions, has refused to open out of fear.
- ...she takes contraception in the form of an inhaler every
- ...her vagina once fell off, she got a new one from a transvestite.
- ...her queefs have been known to set off local car alarms.
- ...doctors found OVER 9000 new STDs inside of her.
- ...her Chinese tattoo says "take out".
- ...her voicemail is always full.
- ...that pic on the right is how she gets out of bed after an orgy of at least 100 niggers.
- ...she can speak fluent Sperm.
- ...her herpes has HPV on its herpes.
- ...it took three doctors to help her recover from surgery. All at once. In the broom closet.
- ...her bedsheets are all made of cellophane.
- ...she is immune to the Falcon Punch, though not on purpose.
- ...her lips (all four of them) are rough enough to survive re-entry into the atmosphere
- ...she could suck-start a Harley!
- ...her other clitoris is a penis.
- ...she once held in a fart for a week.
- ...When she got a new mini skirt, everyone commented on her nice belt!
- ...she has Trojan branded on her gumline.
- ...her crabs have discovered fire.
- ...her mating call is "I'm sooo drunk." If the mating call goes unanswered it changes to "I said I'm drunk!!!"
- ...in a poll of 10,000 people, including Liskula Cohen and her family, 99.99% said that they thought Liskula Cohen was a skank. The other .01% was too busy being a skank to answer.
- ...her daily intake of semen could cure hunger in Africa.
- ...her daily intake of semen could overflow the population in China.
- ...she's like a doorknob- filthy as fuck and everyone gets a turn.
- ...her IQ is measured in PSI.
- ...she thinks that Poon Tang is the capital of South Korea.
- ...the night she lost her virginity, she asked "So, do all you guys play on the same team?"
- ...she got pissed because the DMV gave her an "F" in sex.
- ...SHE'S A SKANKY SKANK, CAPS INCLUDED!!!!1!1ONE
- ...she's like a pile of bricks; she gets laid by Mexicans all day long.
Main skank page
Blogspot Accounts (start one today!)
- http://richardmongler.wordpress.com/2009/08/19/liskula-cohen-is-a-skanky-whore/ (Not a BlogSpot account, but added for completeness.)
- http://www.scientology-london.com/beta/files/liskula-cohen-is-a-skanky-skank.php (not a BlogSpot account, not a Scifag account either, added here for completeness) - /b/ have been adding their personal messages to the filthy skank
ED article reaction
—Liskula, tl;dr BAWWWWW
Liskula Cohen is part of a series on
Visit the Whores Portal for complete coverage.
is part of a series on
LERNIN 2 INTERNET
Aspierations • BLANKING IN PROGRESS • Charming Naïveté • Delete fucking everything • DOIN IT RONG • Edginess • Failing it • Internet tough guy • Kids on the internet • Legal action • Liberalism • Mental illness • Mod Sass • Skript kiddies • Sob Stories • Trolls • Unrealistic Expectations • Unwarranted Self-Importance • Waaaambulance
|Featured article August 22, 2009|
| Preceded by
|Liskula Cohen|| Succeeded by|