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Lolita

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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In a nutshell
A typical loli.

Lolita is an allegedly fictional book about a man and his relationship with a young girl who made the first move in a sexual situation.

In the book, a pedophile marries an ugly woman so he can rape her daughter; however, before he does so the wife dies by accident. The pedophile proceeds to stick it in her pooper while doing barrel rolls. Sadly for him, Chris Hansen asks him to take a seat over there and while he is sitting another pedophile steals the loli. Though he feels almost as though he had lost his ipod, he manages eventually to find and kill the other pedo. Shame the girl's by now legal.

Until this book was published, Lolita was a popular name for girls. NO LONGER. And nobody knows what happened to the Lolitas that were around when this book was published.

Lolita also refers to any young girl who wants it, and is the root word for loli and lolicon.

Teen modelling sites often draw upon Lolita for inspiration.

Quotes From the Book

   
 
Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul.
 

 
 

—Bringing a new meaning to the term kill it with fire

   
 
She would try to relieve the pain of love by first roughly rubbing her dry lips against mine; then my darling would draw away with a nervous toss of her hair, and then again come darkly near and let me feed on her open mouth, while with a generosity that was ready to offer her everything, my heart, my throat, my entrails, I gave her to hold in her awkward fist the scepter of my passion.
 

 
 

—More verbose than your average fanfic

   
 
Between the age limits of nine and fourteen there occur maidens who, to certain bewitched travelers, twice or many times older than they, reveal their true nature which is not human, but nymphic (that is, demoniac); and these chosen creatures I propose to designate as "nymphets."
 

 
 

—I swear I thought she was 14.

   
 
He was naked and goatish under his robe, and I felt suffocated as he rolled over me. I rolled over him. We rolled over me. They rolled over him. We rolled over us.
 

 
 

—Not surprisingly faggotry follows.

See Also

Lolita is part of a series on
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V& Pedophiles [-+]
UnV& Pedophiles [-+]

Aaron WilliamsAdam LanzaAlenonimoAlison RappAmber ButtrumAndy MaherAngryjediAnimatedJamesBeefraveBikerfoxBill CosbyBritbongCasey AnthonyChaosscizzorsColonel McBadassComicalityCyril SmithDaddyOFiveDahvie VanityDangermanDeekerDidaskalosDynacatlovesmeEric RidenourErik MöllerFergie OliverFrank BonafedeGreg MazujianGreville JannerG-ZayHarrison DigfootHumonHypnoHunter MooreIrish282James Terry Mitchell JrJerry Peetjervaise brooke hamsterJimmy SavileJohn Patrick RogersJoseph KonyJustin BerryJustin DabrowKaitlyn HuntKatherine MarionKyle PerkinsLena DunhamLeonard F. Shaner Jr.LittleCloudLtFlaggerLogansperman2Lucian HodobocM. ChaosMagicrichMandoPonyMao ZedongMichael JacksonMikevirusMatrooko11MZMcBrideNathanrNeil FoxOmegaloreOnideus Mad HatterOnisionPaul WalkerPennywisePurple AkiRalph SquillaceRiverman72Roger SampsonSam DeathWalkerSam RassenfossSarah ButtsShane LeeSibeScientologySethistoSophie LabelleTheAmazingAtheistTheMysteriousMrEnterThomas Watt HamiltonTimboxTrap-kunTyciolUncle GrandpaUpdownmostlyViolentacrezVonHeltonWoody AllenW. T. SnacksYoung Tubers UnitedYtask

Lolita
is part of a series on
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[Fuck reading. Just use Sparknotes.See Also]