Lolo Ferrari

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The Giant dildo of death has two new playmates.
You could poke someone's eye out with those.

No. They're not shopped. Lolo Ferrari ("Lolo" meaning French slang for tits) once held the World Record for having the world's largest breasts - fake breasts. Lolo was a French porn actress, dancer and model thanks to her two amazing talents. She was originally born in 1963 (making her ancient in pornstar years) and after many, many offers she eventually married Eric Vigne, a man 15 years her elder - who evetually was killed by being smothered by her boobs.

Those Tits[edit]

Lolo Ferrari.png
 
 
A prisoner of her own altered body, Lolo was also said to be constantly worried that a fan would jump up onstage and puncture her titanic tits.
 

 

—No one wants to make them smaller . . .

Her cleavage is one of the only things know to be (almost) as deep as the Marianas Trench. Her boobs were (we shit you not) designed by an aircraft engineer. Lolo once held the world record for having the world's largest tits - measuring over 180 cm (71 inches), weighing 2.8 kg(6 lbs.) each and measuring between 58F - 54J. These were filled with 3 litres of fluid. Although these tits are fake it hasn't stopped hundreds of fat balding little men wanking like safari park chimps to those silicone balloons. It took over 30 operations to make Lolo look the way she did (over 18 on her boobs alone) and was planning on having moar - except the skin had become stretched and had no feeling whatsoever. Because of their size, these pillows gave her many health problems - including difficulty sleeping, backache and a very severe case of loose vagina syndrome.

Childhood[edit]

 
 
My mother told me I was ugly and stupid. She said I was only good for emptying chamber pots.
 

 

—So she became a porn actress instead, where no one is ugly or stupid.

Some argue that these swollen melons were the result of desperate cry for help to escape from an unhappy childhood. It makes sense (to a blonde cum-guzzler) that the best way to get some attention from her daddy was to make her titties inflatable. The abuse she suffered was not from her father but from her mother. Because her Daddy was a macho faggot who couldn't give his wife the cock she so desperately needed to STFU, she took it our on her daughter by beating her with a riding crop. She obviously didn't hit her hard enough to beat some sense into the little spunk-bucket. Because of this, it is believed that Lolo suffered from Body Dysmorphic Disorder - a belief that her body was absolutely hideous. Which is probably the smartest thing this bitch ever realized.

After her father left home, Lolo became involved with CP in a desperate attempt to get him back. Ironically, her father was one of the few men in the world who would rather fuck two other round globes of flesh on a man rather than play with her titties.

Porn Career[edit]

A list of films and documentaries she appeared in include:

  • Big DD
  • Double Airbag
  • Planet Boobs
  • Lolo Ferrari Special - The Biggest Tits In The World
  • Mega Tits 6

Lolo also appeared often on Eurotrash as a presenter, as she had a convenient place to put the mic and would indtroduce the other acts when her mouth wasn't full of salty man-meat.

Videos[edit]

We know what you're doing. At least it's not furry porn or CP.

Death[edit]

 
 
Some people speculated that the former Miss Tits Europe, who couldn't sleep on her back because the weight of her breasts interfered with her breathing, may have been strangled to death by her own mammaries.
 

 

You thought it was a joke didn't you?

In March 5th 2000 Lolo was found dead in her home, having foolishly attempted sleeping upon her back. Her husband was originally accused of of trying to strangle her to death and spent one year in prison - having things done to his asshole similar to what he normally tried doing to her tits.

It turns out he was not responsible for her death - when he tried tit-fucking her he didn't realise she was dead because her nipples obscured her face.

Despite her death, Lolo still continues having a successful career as a blow-up doll and can be hired as a bouncy castle for children's parties. Those boobs aren't going to start rotting for a loooong time.

An Hero?[edit]

Because she often suffered from depression and anxiety (the symptoms of which include posing nude in front of cameras and playing with her cunt for thousands of tiny-dicked little men to splatter over), some argue Lolo was thinking of committing suicide.

Her previous attempt had included jumping out a window, only to find once she began bouncing she couldn't stop. She also tried overdosing on pills but couldn't reach her mouth, unless she tried placing one of the pills on the end of a cock.

A few days prior to her death, Lolo even picked out a white coffin she wanted to be buried in (along with her favourite teddy bear and collection of dildos). This did not go according to plan because once she tried lying in the coffin they couldn't close the lid.

A Challenger Appears[edit]

Maxi Mounds (presumably the pun is intended) is now the owner of the world's largest tits, which weigh a whopping 20 pounds and are sized at 36MMM. They are, of course, fake.

Maxi is asked to appear on the spanish version of Oprah


External Links[edit]

See Also[edit]

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