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Lukeywes1234 aka "THE YOUTUBE JESUS" is an 8 year old Nintendo fanboy who captured the attention of /b/tards with a number of retarded videos about Luigi and Star Wars slideshows to Nu-Metal. On top of this, the fat nintendophile had made a video begging for subscribers (or subbers as he refers to them) so that he could reach a target of 50 before February. What made this situation particularly strange was that instead of bursting into fits of rage or apathy, a significant number of /b/asement dwellers took it upon themselves to deliver this kid his subscriptions. The war cries of over 9000 were all too familiar and the challenge was set: get this sad excuse for a child over 9000 subscriptions asap and revel in the brix shat as a result. During the ensuing campaign they took to him like a dick to a vagina. And thus, as a result some claimed that this adorable little 8 year old boy had become the new king of /b/.
- 1 Subscription Updates
- 2 Who's Responsible For Suspending Him?
- 3 The Super Luigi Super Show
- 4 But where's the Drama?
- 5 Success - The Day /b/ Showed Its Heart
- 6 Media
- 7 Quotes
- 8 But, what did we get?
- 9 Suspension from YouTube
- 10 Return to YouTube
- 11 Return to YouTube 2: Electric Bugaloo
- 12 /b/lackup videos
Below shows just how much his fanbase grew in just over one day which some say is a testament to the power of anonymous while others see it as a sign of just how much free time these idiots have to piss away into the tubes.
1/2/10 : 11 Subscriptions
1/3/10 (08:11 AM EST): 9,001 Subscriptions
1/3/10 (2:27PM EST) : 11,669 Subscriptions
1/3/10 (8:50PM EST) : 13,000 Subscriptions
1/4/10 (1:34AM EST) : 14,000 Subscriptions
1/4/10 (1:04PM EST) : LOL SUSPENDED
Who's Responsible For Suspending Him?
A remarkably naive Christian fundamentalist. His name is JoshChristian99, AKA Rydall Cooper. He is a fat 14 year old troll who says he's Northern Irish and he easily gets butthurt. Here is his dox:
- Cell Phone Number: (916) 233 1617
- Home Address: 8 Oleander Cir.Lakeland, FL (If you go to a IP address search website and type in his IP address, it says he lives in Redford, MI.)
- Home Phone Number: (847) 347 8213
- twitter: joshu2uber
- Skype: Joshchristian100
- MSN: JoshU2uber@hotmail.com
- Xbox Live: benjurduck
- IP adress: 126.96.36.199
- myspace: rydallisthebomb
- sisters myspace: ilyk2muvitmuvit
Update at: August 14, 2010
At long last, JoshChristian99 is suspended. With all the butthurt comments he receive and running out of what to say for so long he's finally gone. And everyone party hard to the suspension of JoshChristian99.
The Super Luigi Super Show
Lukeywes1234 has a running series in which he makes wonderfully funny skits not too dissimilar to Robot Chicken using characters from the Mario universe. We half expect this show to be commissioned by a major network soon such as HBO or at least FOX. Below is a very good episode guide to get you started (All the links are dead. Faggot Jewtube):
- Episode 101: Super Luigi
Luigi is spending the morning with Princess Daisy when a Shyguy abducts her. Luigi promptly battles another Shyguy and travels to Bowser's castle, where Daisy is imprisoned. Inside the castle, Luigi defeats another Shyguy and rescues Daisy. What happens next really says a lot about Luke's psychological state, and is a little hard to describe. Go ahead and see for yourself.
- Episode 103: Luigi's Computer
Luigi introduces his computer in more detail. From what we can tell, Luke (or Luigi) uses Windows XP and Internet Explorer. He shows us a few Youtube videos and expresses outrage at the commercial interests that Nintendo is pursuing with the Mario franchise.
- Episode 104: Looking at Some of Luigi's Other Stuff
Luigi introduces us to Daisy, Mario, Bomb-bomb, Yoshi, Goomba, Shyguy, and a Bullet-Bill. Luigi gets philosophical and calls a camelflage sack mindless, heartless, and not alive.
- Episode 105: Luigi's New Year's Food
Luigi shows us his New Year's celebration food, including cake, chips, donuts, and dip. He then talks about his mother and grandmother and kind of rambles off.
- Episode 106: Luigi's Room
Luigi shows us his Yu-Gi-Oh cards, books, and Wii remotes. Luigi talks about a bitter feud he had with Mario and how they are no longer brothers. Apparently Mario slept with Daisy and Luigi slept with Peach. Go figure.
- Episode 107: Under the Pillows
In this passion-filled episode, Luigi reveals to the audience his affair with Mario's mother, and goes under some pillows to hide from his brother. Mario finds his hiding spot, and before Luigi fleas again, he fulfills an audience request and shouts "My subscriptions are OVER 9000!!!"
—Luke - well do you?
But where's the Drama?
In a repeat of the famous Dusty the Cat raids of February 2009, Shitholeland became a savage battlefield of cliché wars, mostly like the one a year before, but in a smaller scale: cancerous threads of faggots claiming about "how much /B/ has changed" since back then, giving the impression that indeed they ate all the Fox 11 News report bullshit. But instead of keep going on with the usual shitstorm, some mature elements decided to post the true: the only ones whining about how much good was the old /b/ were indeed 13 years old emo boys that barely know what Waha was, and too much retarded to stay on chans dedicated to the matter of raids without being assraped. Rage came down like a truck rolling down a cliff, and butthurt and trolling rained all over the board alongside "post your X face", "post ends in X" and another usual useless threads, and suddenly it wasn't about the boy anymore.
Internet culture experts blame the inability for /b/ to declare a win on the increased amount of "newfags" inhabiting the site.
A Challenger Appears
Last Thursday a bitch claiming to be Liart66 went on /b/ requesting they give her over 9000 subscribers like they did for "that little kid". She insisted she was more deserving of btards love and devotion because she's "trying to make the world a better place" and "destroying conformity" with ExileAsylum.net and her youtube videos.
/b/ made the demand of tits or gtfo and she complied with shots from her modeling portfolio. After actually watching her videos and reading her ED page they laughed and told her to take her 13 year old boy tits and just gtfo. She then made a variety of claims such as working on "high profile media efforts" and assuring people that what she said on the Tyra Show was correct, and that "god will punish" /b/ for laughing at her, and that she would "pull out [her] 9 and shoot" /b/tards in the face if she met them irl. /b/ responded by laughing some more and leaving flames on her shitty website.
The video in question:
Success - The Day /b/ Showed Its Heart
At around 08:10 AM EST success was achieved when lukeywes1234 had officially gained over 9000 subscribers in around two days and was now wielding a power level mightier than any other 15 year old on Jew Tube. The world now sat with their fingers primed on their F5 keys awaiting the little fat mans reaction to achieving efame over night thanks to the hero that Gotham city has been waiting for. With an epic amount of subscribers, a Google hot topic and a decent number of tweets under the little nintendophiles belt, /b/ felt that its (uncharacteristic) campaign had been a success. They had given a beacon of hope to their inner child that was as effective as sending a letter to the past telling themselves never to browse onto 4chan.
But, what did we get?
The anti-raid seemed to offer some didactic lessons for the less experienced users in some decisive issues, in the most:
- 4chan will never learn the lesson.
- No matter which side you take, in a chan civil war you will always be a retard.
Soon after the 9001 subs were achieved, many anons began to wonder "what's next?". Sadly, these same anons thought this after posting in some "ends in XX" thread. Being the horrendously bored angsty teenagers they are, newfags began to take sides, becoming this ironic and yet tender anti-raid in an open-wide civil war. Some even declared it the "Second Civil War", which is of course stupid because /b/ has been in a constant state of civil war since 2006. Calling for reinforcements reached even insurgency's coast, but being the hardcorefags they are, they wisely refused the offer in a polite way. Later that evening newfags realized that fapping to scenetraps was more important than crying about how much more hardcore their /b/ should be, and soon the board went back to its normal cancerous state.
Suspension from YouTube
On January 4th 2010, Lukeywes1234 was suspended from YouTube. Immediately after the suspension, of course /b/ was going fucking crazy. This is known as "The /b/tards Who Cried 'BAWWW!'". A thread was found and it has been said to be "Tony B. from the ATX" (which is homo for Austin Texas was the rumored repeated reporter of this fat little ass. JoshU2uber has also claimed responsibility for getting the youtube account of /b/'s pet sausage closed in this video here. What he failed to relaise is that nobody gives a shit because /b/ has the attention span of a fucking earthworm.
Youtube Porn Day Part Deux
The suspension shocked and offended the masses on /b/, and to them, this meant war. Anonymous had owned Youtube in the past, and now there was reasonable cause for a sequel. On January 6th, legions of butthurt /b/tards will upload copious amounts of porn to Youtube in protest of little Luke's suspension. Or they won't. God wills it. Result: epic fail.
 Lulzy article.
Return to YouTube
Much like Jesus lukeywes1234 has risen from the ashes under his new account 4myson100. The new account was created by Luke's mother to prevent suspension by Youtube on the accounts of Underage B&. So far, his mom is already proving to be a nuisance by posting motherly, annoying comments on video responses. This is now gone too.
—Mom - Way to embarrass your son in front of the cool kids.
—Mom - Stay hip.
Return to YouTube 2: Electric Bugaloo
After 6 years, Luke got his channel back and is uploading videos now.
Immediately after the war about lukeywes1234 began, a smart /b/tard popped up and attempted to pull a ChristianU2ber.
All the /b/ack-upped videos can be found here. /b/ack-up channel Well fuck this. Anyone got another one?
Wonder where it all went.
Its not a sword...its a ghost detector.
Thy will be done.
Haters gonna hate..biatch.
The prince of /b/?
/b/ made me do it!
A Ghost Is Close.
The 4chan Self Esteem Machine..
Shit just got serious
As the war rages on
Super Lukigi show!
extinguish fire with kerosene...
The king and queen of /b/ conceive their prince or princess
first i was...
but then i get banned ;_;
A Good Take on the Matter
- The Cancer That Is Killing /b/
- Retro Video Game Kids
- The cocksucking parasite who is responsible for suspending poor Lukeywes1234
4myson100Closed too, thank fuck Lukeywed1234 ChannelLOL suspended
- Friend's Channel
- Washington Post Article that mentions him
- Daily Inquirer Mini Article
- Examiner Mini Article
Lukeywes1234 is part of a series on YouTube.
is part of a series on
the cancer that is killing /b/
7 Proxies ♦ my /b/ face ♦ C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER ♦ Caturday Nap ♦ Checking In ♦ Combo ♦ Condom Snorting ♦ Drama Prairie Dog ♦ DSFARGEG ♦ Everyone Get In Here ♦ #fortune ♦ Flood Detected ♦ GET ♦ Godly Luck ♦ Hai Guy ♦ I Don't Roll That Way ♦ Naked banana ♦ Name my band ♦ Post ending in (x) gets to name my (x) ♦ Prove Me Wrong ♦ Roll Call ♦ The Game ♦ Trying Too Hard
Forced Memes [+]
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ♦ Apples Bear ♦ Ayy Lmao ♦ Balki ♦ Big Dog ♦ Deez Nuts ♦ Dental Plan ♦ Dick Butt ♦ Family Guy Funny Moments ♦ FUCK YEAH SEAKING ♦ HNNNNNNGGGGG ♦ I Took an Arrow in the Knee ♦ Isn't Dallas in California? ♦ Jack Spicer ♦ Lanky Kong ♦ Milhouse ♦ My Little Pony ♦ Nyoro~n ♦ Random Album Art ♦ Rita ♦ So cash ♦ Tape dick ♦ THE BEST ♦ Uncle Dolan ♦ Wew lad ♦ WHEN I WAS ♦ Woll Smoth ♦ X intensifies ♦ You Laugh, You Lose