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MTV

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Artist's impression of what a musician must have looked like.
A typical graphic from an MTV Spring Break special.

MTV (AKA eMpTyV) is an abbreviation for Music Television a shitty 24 Hour Music Channel (despite there being no music on MTV anymore due to AIDS and JEWS). The best example of old media division by zero; also a favorite television channel of 13-year-old wiggers, little teeny bopper bitches who ask for it and emo fags who don't know what good music sounded like, having only ever heard stories about it from old people who were around to witness its existence. Those fortunate enough to be literate may even have read about it in books, although they probably don't watch MTV anyway, so that doesn't matter. MTV is also the channel that promotes a communist agenda of stupidity by making spoiled dumbass sluts into popular celebrities such as Paris Hilton.

MTV and the War on Acceptable Music

Since its inception no more than 99 years ago, MTV has attempted to systematically air shitty music and exterminate good music, and to date, they have been reasonably successful in this regard. A lot of people claim that the key to their victory was their outright refusal to have good music videos played on their channel, or even to acknowledge the existence of real music in any way (as evidenced by the various award shows they host every year).

Responsible for the successful careers of such shit bands and artists as black person, Good Charlotte, Blink 182, My Chemical Romance, Lil' Jon, Coldplay and James Blunt. Indeed, rumor has it that MTV's official policies require them to have one of the aforementioned on screen at all times. But obviously they should never actually play any of their songs. That would be severely damaging to their popularity.

Truth

MTV and the War on EVERYTHING ELSE

Seeing that real music had been sufficiently ass-raped, MTV decided to set their sights on other things, and using censorship have now pwned a considerable percentage of the things that exist, including:

  • George W Bush
  • Retards
  • Cinema
  • Grammar and the rest of the English language, by Ebonics brainwashing. Also, like, encouraging like, every teenager to, like, say the word "like" at like, every opportunity, like, ya know?
  • Just about everything else except sex and money, endless Cribs re-runs and Spring Break specials being the only things left with a place on the channel.

The following additional charges have been leveled against MTV:

MTV and the War on Family Values

This is what 10-year-old girls who watch MTV look like.

Pushing a culture-fucking agenda of tolerance, many MTV programs showcase lots and lots of slutty girls, softcore pr0n, the glorification of gangsta and thug life. Given that the average age of MTV viewers is 8 years, combined with an IQ that matches, MTV has caused a lot of IRL drama among stupid kids and their concerned mothers living in the suburbs. Often you find some parents group starting a campaign against MTV, however they end as abruptly as they begin. Although the stories of how MTV has destroyed families is a good source of lulz for the internets.

Interestingly enough, while MTV has a reputation among its viewers as an "over-the-top", "edgy" network, they have in fact censored as much (if not more) of their content as most other cable networks.

Beavis, Butt-Head and the war on MTV

How much worse could MTV be now than it was in the 90s?...MUCH WORSE!

In 1993, a Redneck Texan named Mike Judge did a series of animated shorts...most of which were retarded, but one of these retarded shorts featured two characters so uniquely stupid that MTV felt they could exploit the talents of this dumbass hillbilly to gain more viewers. The character's names were Beavis and Butt-Head. While the episodes featured these ugly, sexist, dimwits doing "Cool" stuff like inspiring kids to kill their siblings with fire and playing baseball with frogs instead of balls. Judge revealed he was actually an epic troll (As were Beavis and Butt-Head by association) as between episodes Judge would have the moronic duo watch endless music videos that MTV were showing at the time and rip the artists and their shit songs/stupid videos a new asshole (This soon scared MTV when B&B had the cultural relevance to make or break a record sale, therefore effecting how much money was made by fat cat music labels and possibly putting the network in danger of losing the rights to air certain videos for fear of mockery). They would give positive comments too...but these were reserved for the few artists Judge felt deserved praise.

Once the show ended in 1997, MTV took a sigh of relief as Judge decided to troll FOX by making a cartoon that didn't feature the wacky adventures of yellow skinned, four fingered, merchandise whores but instead was a realistic looking family from Texas with humour based of off the comedy goldmine that is propane and propane accessories.

But then something happened...MTV had no music videos...and no animation...shitting bricks in every direction possible the executives at the time scrambled around and threw as much half-assed "reality" on screen as they could. They figured that because of how stupid B&B was, viewers would eat up whatever stupid shit they threw at them. There was one major flaw with this though, these shows featured REAL people who had LESS IQ POINTS than Beavis and Butt-Head put together. So in 2011 after Mike Judge was given many blowjobs to help save MTV. Beavis and Butt-Head returned for a new season of episodes, only this time they would mock MTV's many reality shows as well as music videos.

For an example of their MTV mocking habits see below:

In the 90's (Discussing how "Poison" are fags) and in 2011 (Pointing out that the girls on "16 and Pregnant" are just plain terrible).


For some added perspective, the above criticisms are being made by two guys capable of THIS level of stupidity
'Nuff said

MTV Jokes

People think they're e-funny by telling some form of the same joke: "A myth says that MTV used to play music." It's an old meme.

MTV's AIDS goes full blown

In a nutshell
Rachel Zarrell, director of MTV News

In 2015, the white haired male Jews on MTV's board of directors got the idea that what the channel needed was SJW propaganda aimed at the next generation. And as if to rub salt in the wound they got Laci Green of all people to tell girls it's okay not to shave or wipe your ass because misogynist beauty standards.


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See Also

Relevant Links

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MTV is part of a series on

Music

Visit the Music Portal for complete coverage.

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MTV is part of a series on

Media

Visit the Media Portal for complete coverage.

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MTV is part of a series on

Social Justice

Visit the Social Justice Portal for complete coverage.

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