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Macrophile

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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As close as you can get IRL

Some people have theories that this is yet another retarded furry fantasy fetish. Well, they'd be wrong. Because this isn't just furfaggotry. No, macrophilia crosses boundaries between furries and the all the other sick bastards out there.

Macrophilia involves Kong-sized creatures and giantess destroying towns before, during, and after sex. It may also involve giant koalas knocking buildings over with their three-story cocks, or giant lolis shoving cars from the D-train into her cavernous scaly vagina in replace of a dildo. Alternately, it can involve being shrunk down to teeny-tiny size and having the same things done to them by the giant normal whatevers. Indeed, these people are seriously fucked up dipshits.

Moving on, it is well known that a Macrophile is somebody with a fantasy fetish involving anything of hilarious proportions. For example, imagine the Jolly Green Giant but, instead of planting seeds he's shooting his seed on some anime guy's face. In fact, such a situation would be quite lulzworthy if it weren't so fucked up to begin with.

People who like this form of entertainment would most likely be among the most potentially dangerous creatures walking on the face of the earth; if they could make their twisted dreams come true. They would destroy the planet, torturing and enslaving the population along the way like their hero, Hitler. Fortunately for the rest of us, they can't and deserve to be trolled just as much as the next idiot.

Giants? In MY Sex Life?

Typical macrophilia pr0n. I'm so turned on!

It's more likely than you think.

Since the closest thing microphiles can achieve to their fantasy are midgets, they like to donate thousands of dollars towards the not-for-profit organization Little People of America (LPA) in hopes that one day, one of those tiny persons will visit them at home and become their personal sex slave. SRSLY, these people are fucking sick.

Who Invented This Fetish?

If you've seen the cartoon show Justice League there's a supervillain that created all this fetish name Giganta (spanish for giantess). Ever since she is created all giant/giantess fetish lovers worship her just like inflation fetish/artists worship Violet from Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory.


Microphilia

Macrophiles are opposed to microphiles, who are even weirder beings that love to rape dwarfs like the Wee-Man, Mini-me, Kim Jong-il or Eric the Midget. In their fantasy world, they create repetitive stories where usually they find a way to shrink somebody down to 6, 4 or 2 inches tall, proceeding to turn him/her into a personal sex slave. Then, disgusting and unspeakable things happen to the little creature as the author forces him/her to fulfill a series of tasks, like cleaning his toes, his soles or rub their bodies against his penis until orgasm.

For example, the creatively titled story "Brett" has this beautiful passage:

"His captive began to babble vague pleas for mercy, but Brett ignored them. As Marshall looked on, Brett's massive finger pressed upward, shoving Wayne's head into his anus and abruptly cutting off the cries. Brett sighed contentedly and pushed harder, cramming Wayne's shoulders and then his torso into the tight hole. He released him then, leaving the hapless youth's legs thrashing frantically, and reached forward to begin masturbating once again, his cock already firm from his victim's struggles. 'Oh yes' he breathed, 'gotta love it when they wiggle like that'..."(tl;dr)

wat

This crap is written with the talent of a cheap pulp novelist and the cruelty of a serial killer or a sadist. Male readers get instant hard-ons with these stories, even the average white, 40-year-old fan whose penis is flaccid and almost useless after having shaken hands with the one eyed milkman for two thirds of his pathetic live. Frigid women who enjoy these stories are extremely despicable bitches.

Microphiles also like smurfs.

Truth

Fappin' yet, macrofags?

Like most forms of sexual bullshit, Macrophilia is able to transcend into different kinds of disgusting/disturbing fetish that is oh-so adored by the macrofag and furfag communities. It is easily comparable to gateway drugs--no, in fact it is in fact the peak of gateway drugs. It is complete and utter brilliance.

List of lusts:

  • Feet: Nerds love feet because they've never seen real vaginas or tits (and probably never will).
  • Infantilism:Just click the damn link.
  • Vore: People do this IRL. It's called cannibalism.
  • Unbirth: Have you ever woken up one day and asked yourself, "Hmm, I bet it would be awesome if I got vomited out of some girl's vagina." Chances are, if you are a sane person, you have never fantasized about this. For anyone who has, I hate to break it to you, but that actually happened when you were only a few seconds old. That is also the last time you'll ever see female genitalia.
  • Ass Vore: Think "Bite my ass!" in reverse.
  • Cockvore: Guys, this is what happens when the snake in your pants gets hungry.
  • Microphiliac: Anybody who tells you that "Honey I Shrunk the Kids" was his favorite movie.
  • Macroherpetophilia: Specifically reptilian giants you'd like to fuck. Godzilla bukkake is explained in detail in Warren Ellis' book.Crooked Little Vein. MHPs like to splice Godzilla movies with gay porn and rub themselves with rubber claw hands.


Statistics: 98% 100% of all macrophiles are fags, 0% are str8, and 0% are female.

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Gallery

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See also

"DO WANT!" A fucked-up fantasy predating the internet


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