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Manchild

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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A manchild.

A manchild (see also basement dweller) is an adult male who refuses to accept the responsibilities of adulthood and chooses instead to live as if they were a young child, in other words you. It is also a known fact that 99.99% of manchildren are furries, and have hard-ons for Sonic the Hedgehog and colorful cartoon ponies. Naturally, this means that they are gigantic faggots, and invariably furfags.

This is always the result of a "serious mental handicap". As in, they are too fucking lazy to get a job.

It is interesting to note that manchildren, as their name suggest, are almost always male and that there is no such thing as a 'womanchild'. This is likely because the qualities that make manchildren so pathetic (childishness, naïveté, sexual inexperience) are generally considered positive, attractive qualities in women by men and because society considers it acceptable that women are allowed to be parasites that do nothing but laze around at home for the rest of their lives.

Its long-lost opposite is Childman.

Cause

Pampers Size 7.jpg

More and more, children are becoming a product of gross societal negligence, piss poor parenting practices, backwards educational requirements inferior gene pools and overzealous marketing endeavors. Largely stemming from "Generation Barney", children of the 90s were taught early on that failure was perfectly acceptable. Starting with the "No Child Left Behind" stupidity, kids were suddenly being brought down to the level of the "lowest common denominator" of the classroom, given A+'s for having an "A"ttitude that was "+" positive, it suddenly became more crucial to make kids as happy as possible and with as little disappointment than it was to actually educate them in any meaningful manner.

Kids were taught that it is "okay" to be a basement dwelling welfare leach so long as they were happy and had a good attitude about it. They were taught that it was "okay" to wet the bed past the age of 5, giving an increase of demand on baby diapers that were put on the market last thursday that would have been completely laughable in decades past. Fast food happy meals were likewise super sized, not because kids were actually eating more, but simply because they kept on ordering the baby meals well on into their tweens and teens.

Our society has since degenerated into a form of super acceptance, to the point where failure itself is something to be celebrated and standards of acceptable behavior have downgraded to a near infantile level. Creative new medical conditions and disorders have likewise arisen, allowing parents to raise "unique" little diseases rather than real children. Mommy's little malady, daddy's little disorder, it has become literally in vogue to have a "special" child with a "special" problem, upon which any failures or generally bad behavior can be labeled with a convenient, all encompassing excuse.

Symptoms

Another manchild.

The subject in question may exhibit many of these classic symptoms:


A typical manchild. Notice how he hates things made after the 1990s.

What manchildren like to do erryday.


Stages

Typical manchildren
  1. Fagolescence: Adults who act like teenagers
  2. Olchai: Adults who act like children.
  3. Adult babies: Adults who act like babies.

Types

Generally there are two types of manchildren, the emotionally unstable drama whore type and the flippant, fun loving, lazy bastard type. The former make for excellent trolling due to the fact that they'll blow up over the slightest little thing, often have great difficulty controlling their emotions and are generally prone to acting out with little inhibition; most often due to lack of recognizing the potential consequences and outcomes of social situations.

More often than not they tend to float over in the aspie end of the spectrum, while the later category tend to be apathetic, carefree neurotypicals who generally don't take anything seriously...at all. Trolling or flaming that type is not recommended, they'll simply laugh it off, poke fun at you for not acting like them and due to their complete inability to take anything seriously (least of all themselves), any attempted attack or troll will fail before it has even begun.

Examples

Gallery

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]


See also

Einsteinaspie.jpg Manchild is part of a series on Aspies. [Back to your happy placeSperg out]

Adam LanzaAlbert EinsteinAlexander SlavrosAmber ButtrumAndy KaufmanAnthony 'A-Log' LoGattoAspies for FreedomAspierationsBambifan101Barron TrumpBeefraveBenny_the_SnakeBill9929Bill GatesBlocklandersBlueCatRioluBodyXPoliticBoris MalagurskiBram CohenBrandon SmithBrownsquirrelChibiyimaChris-chanChris Harper-MercerCyndilovespiccoloDan CilleyDarrDarius McCollumDarviela MaravaronaDaxFlameDisneyFan01Dragonfandrp1zzaEdenHeroineGirlErik RibsskogErin AnthonyEvan GraggFlaglerchatFlardoxGary McKinnonGrantMGreg MazujianHannah CappsHeed My WarningInmendhamInuboy1000IronholdsJack Gilbert GrahamJared MiltonJahi/4444Jessi SlaughterJoekerJoey The AutistJohn Patrick RogersJoseph8276Kawaii KitsuneKelseyaliciaKevin HavensKloeriKingMasterReviewKirbysloverKphoriaKawaiiKittee88LeafyIsHereLukas PietschLyndsay KirkhamLougaraLordelthibarLynn AnnM. ChaosManlytearsMark ZuckerbergMariotehplumberM. ChaosMascotGuyMatthew DavisMDetector5Michael GimsonMinefagsMisha SilenostiMissyMix HyenaMonica PunkMutescreamMylarBalloonFanNate SpidgewoodNemo HanaNichole337Nick BravoNicky ReillyNeuroOlinkalexOnigojirakaijuOnyx ForepawPacificoceanasiaPMDrive1061PopcornPrince JeremyRobert Clark YoungROtardsRootbrianRoss LumbusRyanSammyClassicSonicFanSeleryShane LeeSiriusOrionisSolidMarioStarbladeStarkiller88SteAndKelSperginTablecowTGcomixTheAmazingAtheistTheDOSFagThe Eclectic EspeonTheme Park ReviewTheMysteriousMrEnterTherealagerbonThe JuggernautThe Unknown AutobotToby J RathjenToKeNTom SersonToshTrigglypuffTylerthDragonVarg VikerneswwwareaWeatherManKevinWerechuWetflameWilliam FreundWim CrusioWolfAdvocateWolfeedarkfangYouZS3

Manchild is part of a series on Dying Alone

[DeadCry yourself to sleep]

Poemo.jpg Those Who Have Died Alone

Aaron SwartzAdam LanzaAlexis ArquetteAmanda ToddAmy WinehouseAnal CuntAndy KaufmanAnna Nicole SmithBrian AdamsBrandon CrispCharmaine DragunChris BenoitChris Harper-MercerChynaCodey PorterDavid BowieDavid CarradineEazy-EEdaremElliot RodgerElvis PresleyGeorge SodiniGizgizHappyCabbieHarambeHeath LedgerJeff WeiseJewWarioJim MorrisonKitty0706Kurt CobainLemonade CoyoteLeelah AlcornLinkin ParkLiloMegan MeierMichael JacksonMitchell HendersonMySpaceOtoya YamaguchiPekka-Eric AuvinenPrinceRandy StairRehtaeh ParsonsRicardo LopezRipperRobin WilliamsRudolph ZurickShawn WoolleyShaySteve StephensTony48219TooDamnFilthyTyler DumstorfVester Flanagan

Those Dying Alone

03bgood2cash2 gryphon7jackass77Adam SandlerAngry GrandpaAhuviya HarelAIDS SkrillexAkewsticRockRAlex FordAlison RappAmerica's Third PartyAmy SchumerAngry JoeAnimatedJamesAnita SarkeesianAnonymous BorgAnthony 'A-Log' LoGattoAntony AguilarApril DavisAquagirlwhitefoxArgent009Arguecat3Arin HansonArmake21AsalieriAsa CoonAsher2500Austin AlexanderAvantGardePonyBambifan101BarneyfagBasement DwellersBen FordBen MoynihanBenny_the_SnakeBenthelooneyBig RedBikerfoxBill9929Bill GaedeBill GatesBLACKbusterCriticBlueCatRioluBob RehahnBrandontheMovieGuyBrandon SmithBrian MuellerBrianna WuBroniesButLovaByAppointmentToCarl the CuckCartoonjunkieCaseydeckerCheeyevChibiyimaChloe SagalChris-chanChris CrockerChuck M.Clint of Rise and FallCNNCopperCabCorey MargeraCoughlan666CrazyvideosandrantsCrinklemonDaniel BrandtDan CilleyDane CookDani FilthDarius McCollumDarknessthecurseDarksydePhilDave ChapelleDave MustaineDavid HockeyDaxflameDBoyWheelerDeekerDeterminedToDrawUTDev-catscratchDGTrixieDiaper BoyDisneyFan01DisneyMasterDJ KEEMSTARDnepropetrovsk maniacsDon RobertsDoodletonesDoomer3868Dorian_GayDoug WalkerDragoneerDrakonDustinEmer PrevostEmosEpic Fat GuyEpicKitty54Eric AbramovEric RidenourErik RibsskogFilthy FrankFagolescentsFanFic CriticFast EddieFat ManFaust & Pory Five Nights at Freddy's fansFlardoxFluffy teh wolfForeverKailynFriends of A-LogFurriesG-ZayGather Against FateGeorge LopezGhostGirlvinylGoddessMilleniaGreg MazujianGwen GaleGwen StefaniHarmful OpinionsHellkiller777I Dislike Cis PeopleI Hate EverythingIan Miles Cheongicze⁴rilliniguy34Imma-The-DeerInkBunnyJamil The KingJessi SlaughterJessica LeedsJim ProfitJoe Crusher PicklesJoekerJohn BullaJohn FieldJohn KricfalusiJohn Patrick RogersJonathan McIntoshJonTronJoseph CampJoseph8276Joshua "Null" MoonJuggalosJustinRPGKaBlamBandicoot64Kat DenningsKendall JennerKathleen ToddKenny GlennKevin HavensKimmo Johan AlmKingEmpoleonKingMasterReviewKrashedLaci GreenLarry the Cable GuyLauren FaustLeafyIsHereLecarickLeigh AlexanderLeisureSuitGamingLena DunhamLeonard F. Shaner Jr.Leslie JonesLifeInATentLikeicareLinkaraLittleCloudLittleKuribohLordelthibarLucian HodobocM. ChaosA Man in BlackManchildrenMarblesMariotehplumberMarjan SiklicMatthew DavisMatrooko11MaxtaroMcJuggerNuggetsMDetector5‎MeowbarkMeganSpeaksMichael BattonMichael BayMichael FitzhywelMichael GimsonMike SandyMoleman9000Monica PunkMonkeyGameGuidesMoviebobMSNBCMuZemikeMylarBalloonFanMysteriousMrEnterMysticArkNaokoElric2250Nathan GaleNawlinWikiNeckbeardsNeoGAFNick BateNick BravoNikkineko333Noah AntwilerNostalgia ChickNotchNullcherriOFWGKTAOnyx ForepawPaigeGirlPaul FeigPaulie CalafioreParkourdude91Peter CoffinPhantomStrider8Phil FishPhunWithLogicPinkieponyPit ViperPixyteriPMRantsPreachingthegospelQuentin TarantinoRachael MacFarlaneRandi HarperRedheadXilamGuyRicki RavenRMG ProductionsRobert Wayne StilesRockosockoRomeo RoseRootbrianRose3212Sad FrogSammyClassicSonicFanSam PepperSarah ButtsSarahisniftySaturnDOSSceptreSchnookumsSegacampSega KidSeth MacFarlaneSethistoShadmanSimply OkamiSolidMarioSlowbeef & DiabetusSnapesnoggerSonmanicSony-MaeSophie LabelleSpax3StormySuperlisamcbSusan BoyleTara StrongTheAmazingAtheistTheDOSFagTheSockDetectiveTim BuckleyTJ LaneTodd in the ShadowsTom PrestonToonEGuyTourneyfagsTrey Eric SeslerTrigglypuffTyciolTyler GarmanyUlillilliaThe Unknown AutobotUrinatingTreeUwe BollVadeVinceintheBayWade FulpWeatherManKevinWesley!!!WoWfan4lifeWwwareaWeegeeisgoingtokillmYoshiwii1Youyoungbloodfantasy91Zoe QuinnZone

Their Methods

9gagAdventure TimeAIDSAnimuArt SchoolAsperger's SyndromeAssigned Maleask.fmBath SaltsThe Big Bang TheoryBlackLivesMatterBlack metalBody PillowsBoozeBullyingBuzzFeedComputer Science IIICosplayDead FriendDeath metalDeath penaltyDeviantARTDiscordDrugsEdginessFamily GuyFanFictionFeminismFidget spinner The Filthy Frank ShowFive Nights at Freddy'sFleshlightFriend ZoneFurry ArtGarry's ModGoAnimate!GooglewhackingGorillazGravity FallsGrindcoreHackingHappy Madison ProductionsHomestuck‎Hover hand‎HufflepuffInfantilismIndie musicInsane Clown PosseInvisible GirlfriendIRCJenkemKiwi FarmsKotakuLegoLeague of LegendsLibertarianismLiveJournalLonelyLoveShyMai WaifuMen's rights activismMinecraftMLP ForumsMMORPGsMUDsMy Little PonyMy Tiny DickNice GuyismNu metalOculus RiftOh ShiternetOnline datingOnline sex gamesOverwatchPlastic CrapPlenty of Fish/r9k/Rick and MortyRobloxRuneScapeSecond LifeSilk Screen Goku ShirtTaking the Internet Too SeriouslyShy Boys IRLSlayerSlipknotSluthateSmogon UniversitySocial JusticeSouth ParkSparkalloonSpeakoniaTeam Fortress 2That Guy With The GlassesThe SimsThey Might Be GiantsTomb RaiderToolTulpasTumblrTV TropesUncle GrandpaUncyclopediaUnchartedUndertaleVloggerheadsWatchMojo.comWizardchanWorld of WarcraftYouTube