Marijuana Addiction

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Now we know why she always has the munchies

After decades of being lied to by The Man with fabrications such as Marijuana will cause normal, Honest White Men to want to have sex with double forheaded Black chicks like Michelle Obama, rob banks, overthrow the establishment or allow Mexicans to take back America's South West, Millennials and aging hippy, pot heads such as Tommy Ching-Chong that have been exposed to these falsehoods and lulzy, lie filled movies like Reefer Madness, are less likely to believe the truth that Marijuana is an addictive drug, Claims Morgan Fox The National Cannabis Industry Association’s chief spokesman.

Rehabilitation Clinics have said that Marijuana addiction and withdrawal has begun presenting itself more in the modern age because of selective breeding and genetic manipulation of the marijuana plant. In the 60s and the days of Timothy Leary when potheads were rolling around in the mud getting high, the max THC level in the Weed they were smoking maxed out at 4 maybe 5%. In the modern age, THC levels may be as high as 45% while Marijuana extracts, concentrates and oils may reach well over 80%.

As Capitalism has predicted, Weed has simply gotten better because of legalization, good old fashioned Americunt greed and trying to run the competition out of business by offering a far superior product.


   
 
Weed is just so much better today
 

 
 

—Tommy Chong

Addiction[edit]

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The National Cannabis Industry Association has reported that 5 to 10% of consistent Weed Smokers will become addicted to weed and the popular excuse that they're pushing is that the user is not aware of how potent weed has become or how strong extracts and oils are. Much like a fat kid at an all you can eat buffet, they over consume until they've become like a cigarette smoker, a 600 pound food addict or your sister and her cravings for the cock and need to smoke constantly to avoid the painful physical and psychological withdrawls that come when they abstain.

Marijuana addiction is like many other addictions in that Marijuana is like getting pussy whipped by a bitch of a woman in that it takes over your life without your even knowing. You'll devote every waking minute and dollar to it until everything you own has been handed over to the bitch to keep her happy and standing beside you until you have nothing left and you're giving hummers in blind alleys for a nickle bag because you're hoping to get her back.

Unlike other drugs, doctors say, Marijuana addiction may take years to develop so it's a drug that takes some real commitment if you want to get addicted to it. Like any other drug, if you can't start the day without burning one the same way a Heroin addict has to stick a needle in their arm to get back to normal - you're an addict and need to quit.

Withdrawls[edit]

   
 
Don't smoke dope when you're stoned. You don't get any higher, all you do is lower your supply of dope.
 

 
 

—Billy Crystal

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Withdrawls from Marijuana are like any other drug but because weed includes the hand to mouth experience like cigarettes - it also includes a habit that must be broken as well. Marijuana withdrawl include insomnia, night sweats, the shits, trembling muscles and an overwhelming desire to sell your ass to, or suck off any one and everyone you ever smoked with just for a free puff.

You might try to convince yourself that you can quit anytime by doing baby doses but that takes willpower that you do not have and within 3 days you'll be breaking into every pot-head's house you know so you can steal their stash, like an untrustworthy whore stealing a John's wallet from his pants because the need for an easy fix has made you willing to do anything so you can burn yourself away into that perfect jello blob lying in a bean bag chair.

Look at it this way, becoming a pot thief gives you the chance to start over and make new friends in jail and on the street because nobody likes a thief and all your old friends will have told you to go fuck yourself by now.

If you really need a hit, you could do what all the Potheads do and beg Twitter for money, saying something came up and you need money for food so you can get your prescription filled by the corner pharmacist.

Why Speed Is Better[edit]

If you break into your neighbour's house just to clean it, speed is definitely NOT the drug for you

If there ever was a drug that let's you know what it's like to get a blood transfusion from G-D HIMSELF it's speed.

Need more hours in your day to study for a test and retain the information. Speed.

You want to be that go to guy at your job that the boss can count on staying for all kinds of hours? Speed.

Speed equals creativity. Some of our greatest writers and authors rode the speed train like Kerouace and Dali.

Need to drop a few pounds while getting extra work done? Speed.

Rather die from an immense heart attack than obesity related conditions and COPD from smoking weed? SPEED

How To Tell If You're Addicted To Weed[edit]

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  • You trace Sailor Moon characters while telling everyone how you will become a famous Animu artist in a year.
  • Paranoia
  • You make Let's Play videos on youtube.
  • You continually contradict yourself.
  • You look at girlvinyl and find yourself saying, "Damn! I want some of that."
  • For some reason you think Weed makes you smarter and you make a fool of yourself talking about shit you know nothing about.
  • Building on the above, you feel the need to talk about shit no one cares about like toilet paper.
  • An inability to turn work in on time.
  • Excessive munchies
  • An overwhelming desire to vote Democrat
  • Lack of hygenine
  • You won't eat GMO foods but you'll smoke GMO weed strains.
  • A belief that the government owes you a living because you have a marijuana card.
  • A hatred of wonder drugs like speed that helped influence some of our greatest artists like Jack Kerouac, Andy Warhol and David Bowie.
  • You actually, stupidly, argue that weed is better than speed.
  • When writing you confuse lose with loose, than with then and two with too.
  • 2 AM runs to Taco Bell nightly because you think they have the best dollar menu when you have the munchies.
  • While in line at the Drive Thru for Taco Bell you can't help but burn one. Hell! You even have your bong in the car.
  • The song below describes your life:

External Links[edit]

Roll up! Roll up! Tickets are on sale now!

See Also[edit]


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Marijuana Addiction

is part of a series on

Drugs

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Featured article July 5 and 6 2018
Preceded by
United States of Americunts
Marijuana Addiction Succeeded by
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