Mark B. Cohen

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to: navigation, search
Made of nothing but win.

Mark B. Cohen is a Philadelphia politician and IRL lawyer recently turned E-lawyer. He loves the Phillyblog.com forum and believes it will replace all newspapers and take over the world. Recently, Cohen manually compiled a list of Phillyblog's top posters, revealing that he knows nothing about the internets.[1] Even moar lulz ensued when Cohen's penis began commenting on the entry.[2]


   
 
I hope your ugly cyberbullying gives you the satisfaction that you are looking for and adds meaning to your life.
 

 
 

—Marky Mark, trolling trolls (trolling newfags)

LIBEL!!![edit]

   
 
I feel threatened by philly blog and Rep. Mark B. Cohen’s penis.
 

 
 

—MBC Penis

   
 
such is the power and girth of Mark Cohen’s penis that it actually scares itself.
 

 
 

—Chrissmari

   
 
you mean the one he fucks taxpayers with?
 

 
 

Anonymous

   
 
I hear it’s ribbed with per-diems for taxpayers’ pleasure.
 

 
 

—Anonymous

   
 
hello i am a potato
 

 
 

—Horace Steenblatter

   
 
and I’m a sentient ATM.
 

 
 

—Sentient ATM

   
 
And I’m a giant-size Dunkin’ Donuts munchkin!
 

 
 

—Giant Munchkin

   
 
and I’m Mark B. Cohen’s giant, per-diem studded penis!
 

 
 

—MBC Penis

   
 
And I am the gigantic sheath in which Mark B. Cohen’s penis lay!
 

 
 

—MBC Penis Sheath

   
 
And I am the bunghole of the taxpayers who have been fucked by Mark B. Cohen’s gigantic, per-diem studded penis!
 

 
 

Taxpayer asshole


   
 
Thank you for helping me document the extent of the libel that I have been subject to on this site.
 

 
 

—Marky Mark, displaying his understanding of libel

COLA[edit]

This blog reveals that while every single one of his colleagues returned the Cost of Living Adjustment, he had no qualms pocketing the extra $2600 (for a total salary of $94,949, not including his health plan).

See Also[edit]

External links[edit]

This article is a crappy stub. You can help by completely re-writing it. Be sure to make it longer, girthier, and more pleasurable.
Mark B. Cohen
is part of a series on Politics.
Ideologies: [You are wrong!We are right!]

Alt-rightAnarchyCapitalismCentrismCommunismConservatismDemocratHippieLiberalismLibertarianismMiltopismNaziNihilismNeo-conPacifismRepublicanSocialismTory

Issues: [Fuck it, Too lazy.Get it fixed!]

AbortionArab SpringBahrainBarron TrumpBirthCapital Gazette ShootingCISPADeath penaltyDrugsEnvironmentalismGaysGeorge Bush doesn't care about black peopleHeather LindGirlfriendsGround Zero MosqueMass ShootingGun controlGunsHealthcare (2) (3)• HomelessHousing CrisisHuntingIceslaveIranJim JordanMarijuana AddictionMarriageMiltopiaNAUPimpin'RacismRoseanne BarrShoesTaxesTerrorismUnemploymentWarWelfare

Politicians: [Rigging Elections is funVote for me]

AhmadinejadAkinB.AllenG. AllenAngleAshburnBachmannBhuttoBin LadenBlagojevichBlairBoehnerMo BrooksG.BrownS.BrownBunningDubya BushGeorge H. W. BushBurrByrdCainCameronChavezCheCheneyChomskyChretienChurchillClintonClinton IICleggCohenColemanCorbynCowgerCraigCruzCthulhuCunninghamCurtisD'AlemaDeanDelayDuterteDwyerEdwardsFaganFeinsteinFiorinaFoleyGerald FordRob FordFrankenGellerGillardGingrichGiulianiGonzalesGoreGrahamGravelGreeneGriffinHagueHansonHardingHarperHitlerHowardHuckabeeHusseinJacksonJamesJidetteJohnsonJohnson, BorisKennedyLaRoucheLBJLottKerryKindKingKissingerKucinichLewinskyLiebermanLimbaughLoughnerMajorMarceaux.comMarxMcBerryMcCainMcHenryMcKinneyMercerMichael BloombergMooreMorocco MoleMussoliniNaderNixonObamaO'DonnellO'RourkeOsbornePainePaladinoPalinPaulPelosiPencePerryPinochetPrittPutinQuahQuayleRasanskyReaganRendellRiceRobertsonRomneyRoveRuddRumsfeldRyanSaakashviliSandersSantorumSchumerSchwarzeneggerSharptonCyril SmithJacqui SmithSpitzerStevensStranahanSupremeTaitzThatcherThompsonThorleyTraficant, JimTPMMuckraker MoleTrudeauTrumpVenturaVitterWarsiWashingtonWaxmanWeinerWestWilliamsWilsonWolfowitzXXenophon

Parties: [No beer? Fuck that.Hell yeah, a party!]

America's Third PartyBlack BlocDramacratic PartyHard PartyLemon PartyLiberal Party of AustraliaNorth American DONG PartyOBAMACORNSocialist Workers PartyPirate PartyZapatistas

Tactics: [Rage Quit.How do I get elect?]

2013 US Government ShutdownBlaming ChinaCaptain Nigga DefendaCloward Piven StrategyCuckservativesDemockeryG20 Toronto LollercaustLiberal Butthurt SyndromeLiberal guiltMacaca#NotMySuperbowlChampsOccupy DemocratsOperation LemonpartyPlastic StrawsRaped StatisticsThe ResistanceAugust 6 & 9 1945UpworthyWunderground

See also: 2012 Elections2016 Presidential ElectionsInternet PoliticsPizzaGatePolitical communities

Mark B. Cohen
is part of a series on
Jews
Raelian symbol.png
Patriarchs [-+]

Adam L. GoldsteinAl FrankenAlan MooreAlbert EinsteinAlex HirschAlicia VikanderAliza ShvartsAmy PascalAmy SchumerAndrew BreitbartAndy KaufmanAngelina JolieAniMatAnita SarkeesianAriana GrandeAyn RandBaruch GoldsteinBeastie BoysBen GarrisonBen ShapiroBen SteinBernie GoetzBernie MadoffBernie SandersBobby KotickBourg ProductionsBrie LarsonCasey NeistatChelsea ClintonChris SavinoChuck SchumerDan HarmonDan SchneiderDaniel BenfieldDanny ElfmanDaron NefcyDavid DraimanDavid KatzDebbie SchlusselDianne FeinsteinEd RendellElliot RodgerElon MuskEric AbramovFrank MillerGeorge SorosGreville JannerHarvey WeinsteinHenry KissingerHenry MakowHoward SternIce PoseidonJarlaxleArtemisJared KnabenbauerJeff GoldblumJennifer LawrenceJerry SeinfeldJerry SpringerJesusJewWarioJim SterlingJoe LiebermanJohn KricfalusiJohn OliverJon StewartJussie SmollettJustin RoilandKevin SmithKumichooKurt EichenwaldLauren FaustLena DunhamLinda MackLyor CohenMandoPonyMark ZuckerbergMatt StoneMaury PovichMichael BloombergMichael HorowitzMichael RichardsMichael SavageMila KunisMiriam LazewatskyMonica LewinskyMonica RialMosesMundaneMattNatalie PortmanNeil GaimanNihilistic SnakePamela GellerPewDiePieQuinton ReviewsRachael MacFarlaneRahm EmanuelRebecca SugarRoman PolanskiRon JeremyRupert MurdochSacha Baron CohenSeth MacFarlaneSeth RogenSusan WojcickiTara StrongThe Amazing RacistThe Fine BrosThe Krassenstein BrothersTim BurtonTodd GoldmanTodd HowardTony GoldmarkTrevor NoahWil WheatonWoody AllenYandereDevYank Barry

Habitats [-+]
Traditions [-+]
H8s [-+]