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From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Matt "Shizzle" Gorman
Matt Shizzle is Dawk-fag and a former member of the elite squad of butthurt atheists, the Rational Response Squad. He's your typical 34yo unemployed loser that lives with his grandmother in Bernville, Pennsylvania. He looks like a young Ron Jeremy but lacks the huge winkle. He spends all his time at home posing for pix wearing branded t-shirts including The Ramones, the Pittsburgh Steelers, and various atheist slogansThe Sims, and he was active on the forums at Mod The Sims until he ultimately got banned for posting Goatse on random threads after a dispute with a moderator.
Social Networking sites
He's presently a member of Meetup, Berks County Atheists Group, Frappr, YouTube
The Rational Response Squad, Communities.com, Stickam, Mod The Simsand Amazon. However in spite of this he's never been laid.
A good meter of sanity is whether you can make it through a day without yelling wearing underwear on your head.
His YouTube account is dedicated to intelligent witty humor.
- I'm a Mad Pimp
- Pimp Walk
- Pimpin' and Basketball!
- Pimp on vacation
- Pimpsterpiece Theater 2
- Advanced Pimp Slappin'
- The Roo Song
- You Are the Wind in my Bunghole
- Cat throwing up
Relationships are difficult for Matt Shizzle. Rather than spending time to improve himself, or even leaving the house, he has tagged all women as being bitches for not giving him the time of day. He has managed one internet romance with Carla, which has been pretty limited to jacking off on the phone.
—MattShizzle looking for sympathy
While Carla is pursuing real relationships, Matt Shizzle is still buying her crap. This shouts "I'm desperate, pay attention to me!"
—MattShizzle being psycho
Matt Shizzle is clearly reading from the book "How to Scare Women Shitless in 60 Seconds (Even if you live 3000 miles away).
He also managed to piss off the moderators at one of the few forums on the internet with a significant amount of female participation by being himself. He was also described as "creepy" by some members of the forum, one of whom he called a "cutie".
Living with GrandmaHe claims to have some health problems and can't live alone. However in due consideration of his YouTube videos and postings he should be able to qualify for welfare and "Special People accommodations". Special People buildings always have handy dandy light switches when flipped will call in a fleet of ambulances, the
Claims to have Asperger's Syndrome
- Lack of Empathy - NO
- Prefers playing alone - NO
- Avoids eye contact - NO
- Talk a lot, about something - NO
- Have heightened sensitivity - NO
- Lacks Emotion - NO
- Talks formally or monotone - NO
He fails to meet the most basic criteria for the disorder he claims to have, and as he plasters it everywhere he can, it's clearly a ploy to get sympathy. This also explains why he's the first to start a flame war yet cries that he's suicidal.
Or in less clinical terms, he has got a burger & beer ass, not Asperger's.
Leet computer skills
Matt Shizzle claimed to have a BA in Psychology from Lulztown PA yet had no idea what a circum vitae (CV) was. To prove he had a degree, he scanned his diploma at 300dpi and posted it here. He had no idea why why people were annoyed that he posted a 8.5x11 image at 300dpi on a message board and just couldn't figure out how to resize it. In fact, he considered the image removal to be an "abuse of power", accused the moderator of being "a serious fascist", and asked the site owner to punish the moderator.
Getting laid - Join an atheist cult
He doesn't have a 6-pack nor does he have the technical ability to program a VCR. He also doesn't have the penis of Ron Jeremy, nor is he willing to get off his lard ass and actually be social.
He joined a tree house cult known as the Rational Response Squad, which is an organization that claims it's more rational to obsess over not believing in irrational shit and reason over superstition by being brainwashed by over emotional demagogues. But no one will fuck him there either. Being butthurt atheist is about as rational as being an evangelical Christian.
It should be noted that your chance of getting laid in at church are far higher than spending all your time at home wearing activist t-shirts.
Typical butthurt atheist sheep
Your regular atheist is a control freak who doesn't need a god to find their place in the world. People like this need religion in order to find their own imaginary place in the numinous, or at the very least get told what to think. They won't get off their lazy asses them selves, but they'll do it for Jesus, Allah, or Yahweh and have the added bonus of meeting brainwashed chicks who want to make babies. Without religion, Matt Shizzle is just a lethargic fuck and an epic fail as a person.
Read these threads to learn more about Matt Shizzle
- For the Bitches
- Mattshizzle timeless classics.
- "Pimp of the year" Thread
- *For the Bitches
- More MattShizzle
Matt Shizzle is part of a series on YouTube.