Onideus Mad Hatter

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Every flame war he has ever been in.
Onidfag has a tiny dick, he is mentally retarded, uneducated, ugly and fat, he reminds me of someone.

Onideus Mad Hatter (Powerword: Matthew Moulton, a.k.a. Sad Fatter, Moultard, Farfoos, Baby Matthew, Baby Julie, Daiperboy and ED socks Triskaidekaphobia, Flippant, Mipsus, U MAD, LazyAssKicker, and Mimkrys all of which have been b& at the IP level at some point for overusing the ^__^ emoticon) is an absolutely pathetic—if not the most pathetic—autistic adult baby, babyfur, diaper-fetishist, and pedophile—who is also an unemployed welfare queen.

Being the Internet equivalent of a Renaissance man—i.e. a fat fucking failure at life—Matt's main claims to fame are his unparalleled and relentless lies about his accomplishments, and a desperate amount of massive posting in certain forums. He first got his "fame" in a Portal of Evil forum dedicated to making fun of him, where he made over a thousand posts a month for six consecutive months straight until he was finally banned. Fatter's mind-boggling rabbit-hole of epic failure goes deeper, however. Much deeper...

Matthew Moulton - The Man, the Failure[edit]

The Hatter spends his spare time wearing diapers while sperging on the Internet.

For a while he managed a shitty "web design" business called Backwater Productions, which never amounted to anything and is distant memory now. This may be due to the fact he knows less about web design than a 12 year old AOL user with Down's Syndrome. He has been unemployed ever since and moved back to his mother's place.

Early Life[edit]

2nd-trimester ultrasound photo of the unborn Onideus

A doctor predicted Matthew's chances of survival were slim and that even if he did live, he would be deformed or mentally handicapped.

the doctor said I wasn't likely going to survive, was very likely going to die, probably not even make it through child birth and, even if I did, I'd probably be retarded, or deformed or some other horrible thing would be wrong with me.


Entry from his LiveJournal.

And that doctor turned out to be completely right. Never missing an opportunity to be a professional victim, Matty uses this as an excuse to be an adult baby and obsess over animals that wear diapers.

Onideus will seek sympathy from others by crying about his childhood. He will ramble on about the "hole in [his] soul" and something about a cruel mother who didn't love him as a child. Mind you, at the age of 40, he still lives with her, but apparently that isn't loving enough.

In high school he became the mascot in an effort to be a part of the team. Reliable sources say that the costume had to be replaced entirely, because what few parts Onideus did bother to return were covered in love. After school, he replaced his social life and friends by retiring to the Internet.




In Moultard's fantasy world, he's a world-class coder, Adobe Flash wizard and a master troll; and no, Onideus Mad Hatter's bullshit story wouldn't be complete without an addition of ludicrous assertions. Matthew also claims he has a BA in Arts with a minor in psychology and a specialization in literature. But back in reality, he is a Care Bears fan who doesn't have any work, skills, education, money, a girlfriend, a car, or a dick.

Before his dismissal in 2007, he claimed to be a manager at Dairy Queen because he worked the night shift alone (probably while wearing diapers) but in reality was just a regular employee. Moulton later found employment at Walmart. His ego was sold on the cleverly crafted title Inventory Control Specialist, which is a wordy way of saying shelf-stocker; a title designed to rope in uneducated amerifucks to do jobs they would otherwise say they're above.

Of course, his college degrees have landed him several lucrative jobs. Walmart leaped at the chance to employ him, where he claimed to make, "over $100 a day." Observant individuals noted this was slightly less than the $60 an hour he made at Dairy Queen. At almost $125,000 a year, this made him the highest-paid fry cook in DQ history. His reputation for objectivity and honesty, or lack thereof, leaves little doubt these are nothing more than fabrications. Adding icing to the cake, Onideus stated he was fired from Walmart because he "worked too hard", but was probably let-go due to an addiction to pain killers or trolls sending pictures of him in diapers to his boss. Thankfully for him, his extensive knowledge of business practices is rivaled only by his coding skills. This is a perfect segue into the next step up the ladder for Onideus.

"Backwater Productions"[edit]

Let us take a peek into the mind of a genius. Take the Mad Fatter, who appears to believe the destiny of a world-class coder is to live off paycheck to paycheck, remaining content with working the most menial jobs. However, he claims to have once had his own company (read: a website with a logo). That "company" was nothing more than him and a computer in his his brother's apartment. At the corporate offices of Backwater Productions, by his own admission, websites were "created" by "borrowing" other people's designs, and the Hatter Touch™ was added by making minor cosmetic alterations.

My forte is graphic remanipulation, basically I prefer to use existing materials to create new materials rather than working completely from scratch (most of the time, not all of the time). My skillz in image resizing are unmatched, I use my own custom resizing filters based on the Lanczos algorithm in conjunction with a variety of selection/masking techniques.


—Onideus, Delusions of grandeur coming this fall.

Moulton is also the picture of professionalism. Being the genius that he is, he stored EVERYTHING on his personal website, thereby teaching companies the value of consulting Google before talking to a potential contractor. With nothing more than a couple mouse clicks, potential clients could learn a lot about The Hatter. Nothing out of the ordinary, just normal stuff like information about his upcoming diaper RPG, pictures of people he hated that had their heads photoshopped onto the bodies of gay porn actors, and the like. He also very clearly has little skill when it comes to coding, as evident by his multiple threads being laughed at for him not knowing basic things.

But what he lacks in skill, he makes up for in arrogance and stupidity. Like when he emailed a random web-developer to inform him that he thought the guy's work was shit. When he got ignored, he sent a second email to let him know that he posted his criticisms on Usenet and stated that if he tried to have his post removed there would be hell to pay. The guy went to Usenet and told Matthew to go fuck himself. Now it was personal. Onideus proceeded to email his criticism to the guy's client, who also ignored the manchild.

Soon after this, his Flickr—containing nothing but an image of a famous web developer with his head on a gay porn-star's body—was banned. Instantly drawing the conclusion that this was the work of the guy that he criticized, Onideus promptly sent him one of the longest, most butthurt threat letters you will ever read:

You’ve been sent a Flickr Mail from nateklaiber:

:: Threats

Mr. Moulton,
Please note both Flickr.com and the proper authorities have been notified as I have flagged you as:

a) A potential pedophile
b) A potential sexual predator
c) Making unwarranted threats

All information has been submitted to them, and any future communication will be directed to them as well.


—Onideus' ban notice


Boy I think ya broke the irony meter on that one, Kiddo. And unless you’re now claiming to be underage (boy won’t that be fun to tell your clients) I don’t see where you’re coming up with these random pedo accusations…well, I mean other than the whole angry, desperation thing you got goin.

It’s pretty typical with your type…you go around mouthing off, then ya get put in yer place by someone better, but oh no, yer from the lil Johnny Flunk school of education…passed along from one grade to the next, always getting an ‘A’ for having a positive ‘Attitude’, always having someone there to spoon feed you and wipe your ass for you, never once even tasting the bitterness of failure or inadequacy…well, until you reach the real world anyway, then ya meet someone like me who pretty much -- slaps you eight ways to last Tuesday with yer own stupidity. And so really, what recourse do you have? I mean it’s not like I’m wrong, it’s not like you can actually counter any of the arguments or points I brought up in the email to your client…so what does lil Johnny Flunk do in a situation like that? Yeah, that’s right…you lie…you slander…you -- Jesus up the ass with the business end of a steel rake and you resort to the most pathetic, Hitler inspired, cliche of “attacks”, couching your failed reasoning in the guise of, “Oh I read the accusation somewhere else by a doorknob just like me so it MUST be true!”

Let me tell ya something child, I’ve seen yer lil song and dance many times over. I’ve been on the net even before you knew what the Internet was. I’ve been randomly accused of pretty much everything under the sun, from being a supposed pedophile, to the polar opposite contradiction of a pedophile (an adult baby), to even the full embodiment of the antichrist himself. Your flailing, blind accusations however hold no weight and unfortunately for you, you can’t back lies up with bull--

So you fail…and that makes you angrier…doesn’t it? So you do it again…and again…and again…and eventually an interesting thing happens. You become what’s known by many as a “Hatter Addict”. Forever trying to “get back” at me for blistering your ass over my knee with reality, rather than simply own up to your failings. Little Johnny Flunk can NEVER admit to failure, can you? So you get caught in a vicious cycle, since, sad to say for you, nothing bothers me…ever. Hell, I once had a kook like you who went so far over the edge he actually hacked and defaced the Nambla home page with pictures and derogatory remarks about me. Now honestly child, if THAT didn’t bother me, do you REALLY think your lil overcompensation is even going to give me anything more a bit of a chuckle?


You’re WAY out of yer league on this one you cl00less Webbie and we Netters…well we don’t ever go easy on yer type. Anything you censor, delete or try and hide will be reposted publicly on Usenet. And no, Sparkles, you can’t get things taken off Usenet. Once posted…posts are permanent, they can’t EVER be undone, they’re FOREVER. And no amount of your --ing and whining to Flickr or any other entity that has nothing to do with Usenet at all is going to bother listening to you so long as I follow the rules on THEIR site.

The key phrase being “their site”. Anything that happens outside of their domain isn’t their problem, no matter how much you would like to try and make it so. I can understand the need though, lil Johnny Flunk is looking for a new parent figure to bail him out and make him feel all warm, protected and special…hate to break it to ya, but I REALLY don’t think the guys who own Flickr wanna take on THAT particular role in regards to your -- britches. It’s high time you put on some big girl panties and learn to wipe yer own ass, Kiddo. nods



—Onideus' reply

However, there was one slight problem. Matthew sent the letter to the TO THE WRONG PERSON! Realizing his mistake, he sent a second email containing an "apology" mixed with more insults, threats, and details on how he's going to get even with that guy who did get his Flickr banned, as if the guy he was emailing should care or something.

Oops, my bad, you both subscribe to the same Flickr group and you both had little snit fits in regards to recent postings of mine so I mixed the two of you up. Disregard the last email and good luck with your client (hopefully you’re working on correcting some of the problems I brought up)


—part 1

Wait, back up, not the same kook as originally posted, the kook who sent that "threat" email was the kook posting in this Flickr thread: (dead link) That kooks name is Nate Klaiber. He's one of the original Jeff Croft slurpers who was tryin to talk shit about me for saying Flash was the future of web design. Needless to say...he's regrettin that decision.
I think I'll take this picture of his wife:
(jesus christ matty)
...and do a lil dick sucking animation. *snicker* He, he, he...I'll make ya famous...all ya gotta do is mouth off and post some pictures of yerself. `, )


—part 2

So, obviously, our hero was a true professional and a well respected member of the programming society. His site was synonymous with quality, up until it was shut down in 2010 after he messed with the wrong person.


>A few years ago, Mad Fatter was hit by a car and has been unemployed since. The hit-and-run left him crippled and addicted to pain killers. It also, at least according to him, caused him to be incontinent even though he was wearing diapers before the tragic accident, and painkillers cause constipation, not incontinence. Despite bragging about the joy he felt and money he made while working at Walmart and Dairy Queen, while looking for a new job, he said on his blog:.

Hell at this point I really *WOULD* work for Wal*Mart or Dairy Queen or even fuckin McDonalds if they were hiring.


Moulton, if McDonald's was hiring.

He uses the car accident as an excuse to avoid working. His main income at the moment is disability checks, collecting unemployment, and mooching off his mother. He also wears blue-tinted sunglasses, which, he believes, prevent car-wreck induced migraines and help lose weight. He's a fucking moron. In reality, they are worn by people with Aspergers syndrome so they may avoid eye contact.



Fast forward to 2010, Matthew is jobless, and lost his house. After all, this is the man who once allegedly spent $4,000 on an authentic Mad-Hatter hat. Not one to be easily discouraged, Onideus then decided to take up residence in an apartment. It didn't matter that he didn't have permission to move in or anything. On his precious blog, he declared:

The only way the will get me out is through the courts


>His tough guy act online is laughable, and it is even less effective irl. So he tried to make a deal, but when they checked his credit history that wasn't happening anymore, and he was promptly kicked out.

Afterwards, Matthew spent the following months living in his car and crashing with relatives—much like Nick Bravo—, all of whom hated and verbally abused the little pussy before kicking him out. A particularly hilarious encounter occurred when he moved in with his uncle, who complained that ONIDEUS STINKS TOO BAD, and wanted him out. Onideus, being the genius that he is, installed a webcam to spy on his uncle. Later Onideus confronted his uncle with the footage and accused him of some sort of conspiracy to blame the smell of turds from his cat on him. Yelling at his uncle who has been letting his smelly ass stay with him, while also informing him that he's been videotaping him in secret, went as well as you would expect. The hatter was thrown out and on the streets again. Eventually, his merciful mother let him move back in. Moulton has been living with her and being jobless for the past 9 years.

Fantasy Life[edit]

Onideus tends to make up new contradictory and false stories about himself on a regular basis. These include, but are not limited to, the following: being a world class paintball player, being rich (Archive today-ico.png just like LifeInADumpster), being one of the poorest people in the US, being the target of massive DDoS attacks, working for the government, having the largest private database on the planet, being physically fit, being super-humanly strong, being popular and surrounded by friends, and whatever new lie he comes up with this week.

By the time I started college I had already built one of the fastest variable symmetric multiprocessing super clusters in the fuckin state, had ten different academic grants passed and approved based on *MY* prototypes and projects, helped to create one of the very first annual school district "technology fairs" in the state and was instantly given the fuckin keys to the local college's entire technology building for "full/all access" 24 fuckin 7. Hell, even in high school, I was made a district technology coordinator by Sophomore year.



Onideus, being a pathological liar.

Actually, in my case anyway, it's had the complete OPPOSITE effect in general. I've gotten TONS of uber high level contract jobs over the years that I NEVER would have gotten if ~not~ for all my online activity. My list of clients includes a five time Emmy Award winning production company and even the fuckin WHITE HOUSE!




At least in his mind, Matty's an expert programmer. When a senior engineer at Microsoft asked about his expertise, Onideus submitted as evidence a program he'd wrote in C++. Unfortunately, he neglected to compile it as a release build, so the debug information was included. When run under the debugger, the "program" revealed itself to be homework assignment for a beginner's programming class.

Baby Matt's mind is filled with delusional fantasies of his own achievements. These include the supposed creation of a new video codec he called Interpixel Cascade Fusion (never actually completed or even demoed, ever), the world-shaking discovery of alpha-transparent video (which the real world discovered circa 1970), and something called a perfect liquid website (which is probably some kind of slang for extremely runny diaper play—no one really knows because he hasn't finished it).

Matt also claims to be one of the greatest Flash designers alive, ignoring the inconvenient fact that 99 percent of his purported creations are non-working "under construction" versions.

When caught being a pathological liar, Onideus will often claim that it is all an act. He will go on to claim that he is one of several personalities, making up lies to confuse his pursuers by combining fact with fiction until it is impossible to tell them apart. In reality, however, he is just a loser who tries to impress people online because he has no life, but lets embarrassing truths about himself slip out in the process, and then adds more lies on top of those, hoping people would believe the flattering ones.

Below is a handy-dandy guide to determine if his statements are true:

If what Onideus says makes him look like a sad, perverted failure, then it is:
If what Onideus says makes him look like a super-competent ubermensch, then it is:

The general consensus is that Fatter should stick to his core competencies in the realms of pedophilia and menial labor.

His Mother[edit]

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, does it? His mother once filed a lawsuit for $300 billion due to massive amounts of butthurt! Now she's a member of the College Place School Board. So if you ever wondered why your children don't learn shit in school, now you know. The rest of the school board would probably not be as cool in their stance about a fellow board member allowing her son, who's a proven pedophile, to live with her.

I really don't get why you idiots think the lawsuit thing is a joke...I mean...my family in general has a looooong fucking history of suing people all over the fucking place. Hell my mom sues people just to grief them!


Fb-favicon.png Onidues, proving where he inherited his retardation

His Diaper Obsession[edit]

Like all pedophiles, this fat retard is obsessed with everything children and especially diapers.

Onideus Diaper Comparison.jpg
For fuck's sake, you even fucking compare your shitdiapers?

The sick fuck goes so far as to even write about and post pictures of "kyoot" diapers he happens to find.

I was surfing around on eBay and found all sorts of nifty play/doll diapers up for sale. The ones on the top left are Barbie, and came with one of the Kelly sets (Barbie's baby sister).

The ones on the bottom are most intriguing, the box is only a HALF INCH high! Very tiny diapers. They didn't have any sort of manufacturer listed so I'm ASSuming they're homemade. There are still quite a few available here: (Link excluded by editor).
The other two are of course Cabbage Patch Kids diapers. You can find quite a lot of these on eBay, definitely no shortage. The ones on the right though I haven't ever seen before so I went ahead and got some. They still have quite a few left of each, which you can get here: (Link excluded by editor)

There's some cheaper ones here as well, for only $5 and they come in original packaging: (Link excluded by editor)


—Onideus (Aka Piffle-Stix), http://piffle-stix.deviantart.com/art/Play-Diapers-244578665

Not only does he bring pampers up on every available opportunity, he wears them as well. In another long list of lies, he claimed to have always had an incontinence problem. He later changed his story to claiming he only began to suffer from it as a result of a car accident, thereby trying to pretend he wears them in his spare time because he has to and not because he wants to.

When confronted with an actual picture of himself in diapers, Onideus tries to claim that he Photoshopped it. This, of course fools, no one, and his attempts at Photoshop only prove how bad at Photoshop he is, thereby giving more evidence that those pictures are actually him. What makes it even more obvious is countless threads on other forums where he asks basic questions about photo-editing.


Here is the exchange this twisted pedophile had when a faggot weeaboo asked why the fuck he posted pictures of fucking diapers:

  • ShinseiKatai: And you post pictures of diapers..why? O_o
  • Piffle-Stix: Because they're kyoot! Duh, diapers make everything cuter...it's like um...a law...or something. *nods* Doki, doki!
  • ShinseiKatai: uh...okay?
  • Piffle-Stix: You don't think diapers are kyoot? :(
    What exactly did your horrible parents do to you?
  • ShinseiKatai: Uh no. My parents did nothing to me. I just don't think they're cute.
  • Piffle-Stix: Because they socially engineered you to feel dirty and ashamed by them. You likely automatically associate them with being "babyish" and likewise were engineered to associate babyishness with negative and shameful feelings. It's pretty typical, it's one of the primary causes of intolerance and negative attitudes towards adult babies in general. It's not your fault though, it's just the way you were raised is all. You simply weren't allowed to be babyish at all and were likely shamed and humiliated into perceiving it as a negative stigma.
  • ShinseiKatai: ...............

Onideus' Fights[edit]

Child porn scandal[edit]

Among all his other problems, Onideus has an obsession with diapers and, by some extent, child pornography. He often masturbates to cartoons where children are seen wearing diapers, spent a month protesting the deletion of child porn from ED and once stalked a 12-year-old girl on an anime forum only to find that she was actually a grown man and a fellow pedophile. He is so preoccupied with these things that he is hardly capable of talking about anything else. Every conversation with him will end up including some mention of shitting in a diaper, be it him accusing others of doing so in rage, or reminiscing about his own experiences. When the topic of CP is brought up he often defends, claims to extort pedophiles in his spare time or threaten to "get back" at his trolls by posing as them and requesting people to send him nude pictures of their children. Forgetting that if he ever actually did that (he is too lazy and incompetent to) he would be the one liable to be brought up on charges, regardless of who he was posing as.

The reason he so often brings up diapers and CP in seemingly unrelated conversations is because, like all perverts, he is obsessed with his fetish and ends up mentioning it in random discussions because it is already floating around in his head 24/7. Thereby he is constantly incriminating himself due to his lack of self control which he must later try to pass off as trolling (convincing no one). Below is but a fraction of his musings on the topic.

Reversals CP Threats Diaper Sex Pedophilia Teenage Years Deletion Protest

From this point on, if you say you don't like adult babies, baby furs or littles...it's because you're a PEDOPHILE! :D Littles, BFs and ABs are the direct polar opposite of pedos, so if you hate them, then simply by default you're effectively saying you ~like~ pedophiles. Which, obviously would ~make~ you a pedophile. Hence, if you don't like us, yer a pedophile! ^__^ It's a really great angle I think because it really bitch slaps haters with the same ignorant stereotype they try and inflict on us, basically reversing their own ignorance and playing it back onto them to force them out of the idiocy. I just love using reversals, they're so much fun! :D



Prove that you're not a kiddy cock sucking pedophile. Someone e-mailed me and told me that you like molesting children, so it must be true.




Hey man, it's not Gayligula's fault that he likes molesting little boys. He was "born that way", like all prissy faggots and preachers. Have a little pedo-pity for the guy!




Gayligula, you still haven't proven that you aren't molesting children and your unhealthy obsession with "manchildren" only serves to solidify the accusations.




In fact I have it on good authority that RIGHT NOW, a person posting with the name "Gayligula" along with your avatar is running all over various message boards propositioning random parents for sexual visits with their children! *nods*




You should probably be more concerned with the posts that you're presently making in numerous communities openly asking for child pornography and used baby diapers to jack off in. ^__^




I cross the lines you're too afraid to even make mention. But hey, always remember that I would never do to someone what I wouldn't be willing to have done to myself. Hrmmm...I guess maybe that's not of much comfort to someone as fragile as you though, inn?



Onideus Mad Hatter

Schnookums, as a result of editing my article, is currently making posts on Flickr, requesting that child pornography be posted to his ED user page. Some of us play very high level/nasty troll games with each other on this site, most of which were initially created some twenty years ago on the Usenet group alt.hackers.malicious. Best to be careful not to get involved unless you like playing on that field. Just remember, anything you try doing to someone can and very likely will be done to you in turn. ^__^




I see you've realized that simply undoing your edits won't actually get me to remove the posts that "you've" been making all over Flickr. Sorry kiddo, but that's just how this game is played and we've been playing it for a VEEEERY long time now. Can't say you didn't get a warning though, there's three different subtle disclaimers on my article and one really blatant one if you actually click the link. And since you've been actively editing it, it's not like you ~couldn't~ have noticed or anything (yer not that blatantly stupid I hope). ^__^




PS - Hey Schnookums, did you know that right now...you're making posts on Flikr asking people who have posted pictures of their kids if they can send you naked bath tub pictures of their kids...to your ED user page. ^__^




Brendan Gillatt Has Bestiality Pedophile Sex With Farm Animals And 12 Year Old Little Girls



Onideus Mad Hatter

That guy didn't much enjoy being accused of CHILD RAPE and...well...the mostly incoherent death threats which followed were rather "colorful" to say the least bit. ^__^




Liking diapers is sexually based...you can try and deny it all you like, but that's the truth of the matter. It's like being a "closet homosexual", you're just in denial.

Let me put it this way...even babies "masturbate" in their wet diapers...although not to the level/understanding that adults do, a child/baby that rubs their gentiles does feel a sense of pleasure from it...again, not in the same sense that an adult does, but to a degree. This is why you'll see babies sort of rocking back and forth when they've got a wet diaper on...it feels good...sexually.




If *YOU* can't even accept the reality that your interest in diapers is SEXUALLY based...why on earth would you expect your mother to accept it? I don't think you have any "guilt" from "keeping secrets", I think you just want to wear diapers around the house and are so hormonally charged, again, SEXUALLY, that you simply can't wait until you're out on your own and not living at home....that's the only reason, really.

Again, it's not about ~secrets~, it's simply about something that you *DON'T* talk to your parents about (unless you're really messed up). Again, your parents don't talk to you about what they do in the bedroom, do they? No? Do you think that's "keeping secrets" from you? No? Then guess what? Yeah, yer not "keeping secrets" from them either...you just want to wear diapers around the house and can't wait because your hormones are all charged up.




Steve, you're an adult baby...this is a board for bed wetters...what are you doing here? Besides jackin it off to stories of supposed teenagers wearing diapers. Are you a pedophile too? Are you looking for "diaper sex" with an underage teen? I mean...why else would you be here?




Pedophilia isn't directly a mental disorder, although it can certainly become one. Think of it liak this...you've probably got some sexual fantasies about some particular celebrity, right? But you're not out STALKING that celebrity, are you? And you're not deluding yourself with fantastic notions of actually getting together with them, right? Well congratulations, you're not a stalker and you don't have a mental disorder. This applies to pedophiles as well. It only becomes a mental disorder when the pedo starts interpreting a child's behavior as sexual in nature and starts deluding themselves with thoughts that the child actually enjoys it and wants it. At that point, yeah, you crossed over the line. The point is recognizing the difference between FANTASY and REALITY. If you can no longer discern between the two of those...then you've got a mental disorder.




In a lot of ways it's similar to how pedophiles try and infiltrate the adult baby community, posing as "caretakers" for TEEN babies, in order to get their grubby little pedo mitts on them. Works in their favor to a great extent in that many teen babies are from broken homes, so such a prospect is like...winning the lottery. They'll jump at the chance for supposed "unconditional love". Unfortunately once they're ensnared the pedo can do pretty much anything they want to them, blackmailing them with their own fetish to keep quiet about their molestation and rape.



Onideus Mad Hatter

From: Mad Hatter© Message-ID: <ulvcguc09g60a5af3a0sfpvpcct7ui9ffi@farfoos> Here's more food for though. When you were 16 did you find other 16 year old boys/girls attractive? Now why did getting older change your attraction? Oh, yeah, it didn't.


From: Mad Hatter© <h1mdgukjvhg3m7g9d20qsmmo46olhqdr7v@farfoos> On the subject of child sex, in most of the articles it was about the children VOLUNTEERING for the act to make a lil money. The way you had it worded you made it sound like the pedophiles were out there kidnapping and raping the children against their will.


From: Mad Hatter© Message-ID: <86ndgusehploedr1l1n550pholqpufifqo@farfoos> I bet that if I went through our family photo albums I could find at least one nude shot of myself as a child. Maybe I'll scan it and post it all over the place, I'd like to see if I can get arrested for distributing child porn of myself. `, P


From: Mad Hatter© Message-ID: <611eguol3ubkr50r6q44nnqpavfrc10ncm@farfoos> I mean if you're a poor, starving child in Africa and someone offers you say 10 American dollars for a couple nudie pics do you honestly think they're going to say no?


From: Mad Hatter© Message-ID: <l0cegusanrninp0q645vbunm0ui92qbl4g@farfoos> Let man take pictures, get money, buy food. Seems pretty simple to me if you're a starving child. I'm sure most of the starving children couldn't really give a fuck one way or another if some sick fuck is jacking off to pictures of them


From: Mad Hatter© Message-ID: <iphrgust10itur4e8gh2i0i1p1ae6mvsm0@farfoos> I'd be willing to bet that just about all of the pictures don't have anything to do with abuse at all." "...Just to be fair though I might see if I can sum up enough effort/bother to go and check out a couple of the pictures.


That one is actually kinda fuzzy, cause technically speaking 16/17 is the average "age of consent". It varies from country to country and even state to state though. Like in some states 16/17 is "legal" but only if the partner is with a 5 year age difference...it's all kinda weird/nonsensical for the most part. Oh, and then of course there's also RUSSIA, where the "age of consent" is TWELVE in most places. o_O




Mmmm, I can only speak for myself by the by, but everything I deleted was blatant sick fuckery...as in CHILD genitalia. I didn't bother with the "softcore" wannabe child porn, only the incredibly overly obvious shit. I also generally don't give a fuck about pseudo-teens that are 16 years old or what-the-fuck ever, cause that's legal in most places on the planet (including many US states) and the majority of those all have adult level genitalia anyway (at least the drawn shit does). I also generally don't give a fuck about "shock art" shit, stuff specifically designed/used to warp a person's reality with material that even "normal" pedophiles couldn't get off on (like babyfuck).




You've obviously never seen *REAL* child porn if you think ~that~ image is in any way "disturbing".


Onideus, admitting he has illegal child porn in his possession.

Onideus Win/Loss Tally[edit]

Onideus Win/Loss Tally
The Site Onideus Competitors Comments
Onideus Vs. Portal of Evil 0 2 Two points for repeated bitch-slapping.
Onideus Vs. Something Awful 0 2 Two points for SA for Onideus losing actual money
Onideus Vs. Something Awful Sycophant Squad 0 1 Claims to have taken the site down.
Onideus Vs. UseNet 0 3 Three points due to massive backfire on Onidifag.
Onideus Vs. Wikipedia 0 2 Two points due to Onideus losing money in an attempt to get revenge on the WMF.
Onideus Vs. Neopets 0 1
Onideus Vs. Sakuracon 0 1
Onideus Vs. Dramachan 0 1
Onideus Vs. FurAffinity 0 1
Onideus Vs. Susan Brenner 0 1
Onideus Vs. Spriter's Block 0 1
Onideus Vs. SelectButton 0 1
Onideus Vs. Fox Tale Times 0 1
Onideus Vs. DeviantART 0 3 Three points due to massive backfire on Onideus.
Onideus Vs. 888chan 0 1
Onideus Vs. HBGames 12 0 Half a point granted for hacking the admin's password but not being able to do anything anyway.
Onideus Vs. Encyclopedia Dramatica 0 Non-stop bitch slaps.
Final Score
Wins Losses
Final Score -100 12 +23 Minus 100½ more points for wasting his life and his money on this shit.

Onideus Bingo[edit]

Now when he comes to your site you can play a round of Onideus bingo of your very own!

Onidouche's Top Insults[edit]

The following words and phrases are what one can expect in nearly any conversation with our little diaper wearing buddy, which at first may seem to be mildly creative, until you read them pasted throughout every single post he ever makes.

  1. Sparkles (Possibly his favorite.)
  2. Tweenage Muppet Fuck (Seriously, what is that even supposed to mean?)
  3. I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and SHIT more "lulz" than you've managed to offer on up. (Also used gratuitously. Known variations: I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and SHIT better flames than you're using. )
  4. Your idiot parents aren't drugging you up with enough Ritalin. (Usually following claims of typing at 200 WPM to excuse numerous typos, misspelled words, and grammatical errors. Known variations: Ritalin deficient tweenage muppet. )
  5. Snit.
  6. Chromosomally Deficient (Used at least every other post sentence.)
  7. Kiddo: Onideus has been on the Internet longer than you, and makes sure that you know it.
  8. Doorknob: An idiot.

When these insults fail (as they invariably will) to gain him the upper hand in any exchange, he can be relied upon to BAWWWLEEET every piece of evidence that does not flatter his severely flawed perception of himself as a "master troll" while screaming UR BUTTMADD!!!!1!1!! in every direction to no one in particular. SRSLY, look at the history of this article or his talk page.


The retards who run around pretending to have jobs making bazillions of dollars (while posting to the Interwebs 24/7) are trying to say that I'm stupid for making money off their idiocy in the form of ad banners on my sites. LOL



—Sad Fatter, utterly clueless

...if I had cancer I would simply create a means to deal with it myself, patent it, build it and obliterate the nuisance. To me, getting cancer would be more of an insignificant bother than anything. I also work best under pressure of deadlines, so it wouldn't take long to cure it.


Fatter, on easily-solved problems

I'm supposed to be some kind of a genius...least that's what people tell me.



Moultard, on the voices in his head

I've often said, my will is without any doubt *THE* most powerful force that exists within the universe. I have no proof of it per se...but I don't need proof, it is an unfaltering belief, as deeply rooted and ingrained as a preacher who believes in God, *I KNOW* it is true and it is within me at ALL times, it *IS* me. `, )



Baby Julie, on The Force

Come on down to Wal*Mart over in Walla Walla sometime, Kiddo, you'll see what it means to work if ya see me. Free cl00, I'll be the guy breakin a sweat and moving at break neck speed to put stuff on the shelves...of course even then you won't get to see REAL work, like when we get two trucks in and I go and help the stock men unload. Working 13+ hour shifts isn't unusual and my regular schedule hours are from 11 am to usually 9 pm...that's a 10 hour shift, Fruitcake. What the fuck do you work? Eight hours? LOL



—Haughty Hatty, proud wage slave

As far as a "career", Wal*Mart certainly is not a career for me, my *ART* is my career and working at Wal*Mart gives me the greatest level of creative freedom.



—Baby Matt, who has never made a profit of any sort from his "art"

Has anyone else besides me noticed that their forums (SA) look like the spastic crayon dribblings of a mildly retarded third grader strung the fuck out on pixie stix? I mean, I don't mean to nitpick or anything, but holy shit, if yer gonna charge yer drooling power ranger watching, pog collecting, pissy pants poser user base ten fuckin bucks for access the very LEAST you could do is put in the time and effort to molest Microsoft Frontpage for a cookie cutter design template that you can use to try and hide your inane deficiency in web design.



—Fatter, trying to be clever

Coincidentally child...I type around 20 to 30 pages worth of text per day...in fact, truth be told, I've probably written more than anyone else in the entire WHOLE of human history.



Hatter, proliferati of the ages

That is the true separating factor between OMH and your average lulz worthy user. OMH will not react over emotionally, he always plays it cool even in the most heated of situations, continually taunting his opponents efforts, talking down to them (referring to them as "cupcake", "sparkles", "sunshine", "dribbles", "downs", etc) and using his technical knowledge to goad people into debates, sometimes even purposefully arguing against himself (or what he's claimed in other posts in other communities). For example in one community he'll claim that On2 VP6 is the bestest codec evar, while in another community, at the exact same time, he'll claim that Xvid is the bestest codec evar.



Farfoos, frantically conducting damage control in the third person

OMH is quite the experienced web developer and over the past ten years has created dozens upon dozens of sites. His current web site model is largely Flash based often with a PHP back end. Unlike most Flash supporters OMH actually started out making pages using the model that would eventually become known as "AJAX" years before that acronym was ever coined (some of his older sites are still in that form). One of his favorite things to do online is to get people into a debate over Flash vs (insert web form of choice) and then he almost always soundly rips them a new asshole. In several cases I've seen he'll actually go so far as to completely rebuild a person's site and then throw it in their face and taunt them over how much better (faster loading, smaller size, etc) it is over their version.



Moultard, masturbating psychotically in the third person

I have been incontinent all my life and would like to talk to others who have to wear diapers and share experiences. I would also like any suggestions on which diapers have worked the best for you if you have ever worn them.



—Fatter on how he shits himself on a regular basis

Son, you don't even have a basic grasp of elementary level punctuation. And while I'm sure it takes someone of your..."height" a ~very~ long time to type out and even read several paragraphs...yeah...you really ought not to be using your own deficiencies as a basis of comparison when attempting to judge others you severely limited little nothing. Perhaps you should ask your parents to up your Ritalin dose. Or, if you like, you can provide me with your parents address and I'll be happy to send them a BILL for my "online babysitting services" since ~apparently~ you're operating under the delusional stupidity that *MY* FaceBook page was somehow created for ~your~ lackwitted entertainment.

PROTIP: It wasn't. So run along, Spergs, grownups are talking.


*epic face palm*

Good Christ, he's so fuckin stupid he INSULTS HIMSELF! o_O

You Doorknob, your Mr. Spergs. LOL



—Onideus; master of the grammar.

*pictures you stomping up and down with indignant frustration* LOL Your response is even funnier that way!  :D



—Onideus, defending a piece of My Little Pony fan art. Is anybody surprised that he's a closet brony?


[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

External Links[edit]

Go ahead, Twitter-favicon.png drop him a line - he's not busy Archive today-ico.png (archived)

Failed Webs(h)ites[edit]

See Also[edit]



  • Milwin, Onideus protégé.
  • Kthor, PoE moderator fatty thinks he trolled.
  • Lowtax, SA admin he thinks he trolled by giving him ten bucks.
  • Zaiger, ED admin he plans on sending to jail, just like what LifeInATent trying to do back in January 2013. LOL we got rid of him first.
  • Weev, hero of ED Ginger untermensch that Onideus desperately tries to suck-up to while getting his ass handed to him.
  • Ickeriss69, another wannabe troll who, when his past was exposed, claimed it was a troll set up a decade ago.
  • MessyJessie, the other EDF2 lolcow he now befriended on facebook over their mutual butthurt over their respective exposure articles.
  • Mark Griffin, creator of Bob's Game who's forum he was trolled at.
  • David Gonterman, threatens to steal his better's fans with shitty comics like Matthew does with shitty sites. Also fat.
  • TGcomix, another retard who tried to make his own ED after getting b&
  • Chris Chan, presumably his long-lost brother.
  • LifeInATent and WeatherManKevin, fellow lolcows he got into a brawl with on Twitter and Facebook, who happens to all had an eerily similar fantasy life, act batshit insane when confronted, spend most of their time on the Internet instead of getting a genuine job, b& from multiple sites and then made frivolous threats against them. Lastly, they've all admitted to having autism and OCD.
  • Brett Keane, also a compulsive liar and plagiarist like him, not to mention being just as fat and reclusive.

Sites he lost to

Sites he won against


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