Melody the Phoenix Daimon

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For serious.

Melody the Phoenix Daimon is several horrible things in one. She's a fat furry enthusiast whose preferred medium is MS Paint. Her character, Melody, is a fatass Mary Sue creature called a "daimon", which is basically a horrible rip-off combination between a Care Bear and an experiment alien from Lilo & Stitch. Of course, she receives endless amounts of praise for this tripe, which means everyone's going to have to put up with this faggotry.

Her IRL name is Alana, she lives in California, and claims to be eighteen. She plans to become a chef (LOL WUT?). Probably is a basement dweller. It's also safe to assume that she is not unlike her bloated fursona as far as the weight department goes. In addition to being a retarded piece of shit with a fetish for bed-sore causing health problems and respiratory failure, she's also a homophobe and a Jew.

She is also a total slut and yiffs with Dragomike, Tolstoy, Hhhippo, and other equally as pathetic fat furfags on the internets. She also accepts neopoints as commission currency, probably because no one in their right mind would spend money on this garbage...right?

As far as her art is concerned she always recycles poses and cant think of anything original to do, she is known for kissing all the popular artists asses in an asinine attempt to get free art. She also is a very over rated artist.

Being a spoiled bitch[edit]

Melody is a spoiled bitch who is sooner or later going to be asking for it when it comes to art. She doesn't deserve all these really good artists drawing her. The past statement is true that she does kiss everyone's ass without fail to get what she wants, but she really doesn't deserve it.

A prime example of this is when she draws fanart for particular artists she wants art from, expecting a high quality piece of work with actual effort and detail in return. She will also associate with a specific clique without really contributing to the cause, such as drawing her character as bowser to gain the appeal of more faggots who will praise her for tracing.

One such person even went so far as to point the finger at her attempt to cheat people out of their art with her work only to be attacked by hoards of her fans while she sits about crying, and acting like the victim who did nothing wrong.

The lies that never stop[edit]

Since her days on Deviantart, Melody has always been needy for attention, and will do whatever it takes to get it, even if it means making journals constantly whining about her life to gain sympathy from her fans. This faggotry would range from a sprained ankle to claims of leaving her page forever, only to turn up next week.

One fine day, Melody decided to make a journal stating she had gotten an operation to become a furry alien mole, which was also a lie just to gain more attention, as she never provided any photographic proof of it. When asked for proof, all that was given was a picture of her hand in a furry gloves photoshopped to look like a claw. Bitch finally got tired of the little attention she was getting, and finally ran away to furaffinity where she is adored by many for her MS Paint doodles of her fat murrsona, and seems to be gaining a following.

The bitch continues to make journals of the same nature today, and people buy into it without question. Anyone who questions her otherwise or gives critique on her pixel art shall be drowned in capslock profanity by her, and blocked. She is just that nice of a person.

To this day, her fans remain oblivious of her selfish, bossy nature. That is until this article was put up.

Melody, the Mary Sue[edit]

Somehow, it can fly.

Several things make Melody qualify for being a blatant Mary Sue. For one, she has the totally original concept of being part Phoenix. Meaning, her murrsona has half-assed tacked-on wings, breathes fire, and of course, is immortal. Also, accompanied with the godmodding, she claims her feathers are 'ultra valuable' and can heal any ailment. Of course, she is a total bitch and gives them to her friends instead of the millions of people dying of cancer and AIDS, lol.

Melody also has the ability to shape-shift, which allows for some terrible fandom rape.


Gallery of Faggotry[edit]

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Other "Art"[edit]

This makes total sense.

When not drawing her pink monstrosity, Melody decides to make small children cry by drawing Captain Olimar from Pikmin as a morbidly obese Stitch alien, as well as Stitch and his cousins as fatasses. Other pictures include ignored drawings of generic alien creatures. Ignored because they're not fat, and therefore unfappable.

Hilarious Praise[edit]

Here are some of the thought-provoking words that inspire Melody to keep raping our minds with these horrific images:


   
 
Morrwl, love those huge rears. Great work, now they can...rub eachother's fat folds. :9
 

 
 

Starfig, on oh god i'm going to vomit


   
 
... I think you showed him well...

Very good sequence. That movie scarred me until I got home from seeing that movie!
 


 
 

Underage B&, on pissing himself over Cloverfield

Reactions because of this article[edit]

Some furfag named Furaffinity-favicon.png TheRealEricFox took exception to this article with a (now deleted) journal entry '

In addition to the whole ordeal, here's some quotes. Though the majority of those who voiced their opinion on the article were furfags that went absolutely batshit, some found it quite informative.

   
 
so attackin melody again by posting her picters witch you have no right to on encyclopedia dramatica havein fun rubbin that boner troll? lets see how low will you go to get people to notice you?
 

 
 

— TheRealEricFox, on being butthurt about this article about Melody

   
 
oh and do go on about how evil and mean she is let hear that now that she traces oh how about that shes not original because i dont give a fuck what you did was evil
 

 
 

—The Lulz killer

   
 
so now you attacked my freind so now you going to have to deal with me dipshit! she dosent desurve this but you felt like doing it only to draw attention to yourself
 

 
 

—Trys to make threats about it

   
 
because hes an absolute jackass with nothing better to do,ever since i stoped being friends with him because of his behavior,possessiveness and rapid mood swings i stoped being friends with him,then thats when all this happened, hes propably still a sore loser that im not his friend anymore or hes jealous of my artistic skills and the fact im making so many friends! hes just an asshole who needs to get a life. or get runover....
 

 
 

—Melody butthurt about the article and blaming someone named zackbarzahd

   
 
I know her through a friend, although I wish I didn't. About two or three years ago, she made a whole bunch of journals on deviantART explaining how she was unhappy with her life and was to undergo an operation to make her look like Olimar from the Pikmin games. The charade seriously went on for like a year. She even posted badly photoshopped pictures of her new "paws" (Even though they were just her hands with pieces of red construction paper glued on to the palms and over the nails. Of course, she claimed the operation was real and threw a bitch fit whenever someone denied it. She also liked to make up family members and swore on her mothers grave that they were real.
 

 
 

—IDC

   
 
She even blocked her lover over MENTIONING the article before you touched it up..The fuck, y'know?
 

 
 

— An onlooker to IDC about Melody's faggotry

Her Past Crimes[edit]

Only because she drives them to this tripe in the first place, FAIL.

High School Drama[edit]

When Alana was in high school, and most of elementary school she was considered special she would always draw these crudely drawings of Pikmin and Oimar,; one day she had shown the drawings to some non retarded students; word got out and at next recess everyone was making fun of her, she had taken a huge bitch-fit. A few days later I caught her on fur affinity which made me curious, so after classes were done I decided to search her name up and I got this as well as her 'FA' and since now she is offering commissions, no one in their right mind would want them.


   
 
One time in Class we were watching Lilo and Stitch, this had appeared to be Alana's favorite movie, but what was so funny was that she wet her pants when we got to watch it, hilarity ensued and everyone called her 'pissy pants'
 

 
 

— Anonymous classmate

Commission Drama[edit]

A few months ago she had decided to take commissions, like anyone would really pay for her art, and she has no sense of originality, she always seems to recycle her poses just like PixelPenguin.

See Also[edit]

External Links[edit]

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