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Michael Bay ✡ is a director best known for making movies where everything blows up, covering everyone within a hemisphere of himself or his productions with an impenetrable blanket of shame. Nothing else happens. Much like Uwe Boll, Bay considers himself one of the greatest filmmakers ever.
What he lacks in common sense, Michael Bay makes up for in explosions. In fact, every one of his films feature over 9000 explosions. Among the things that explode in his films are vehicles, especially vans, buildings, furries, goatse and Tubgirl. He starts one scene with an explosion, then he follows that with another explosion. There is some talking after these scenes and some more explosions. Then he has a bunch of explosions along with more explosions followed by another explosion, which takes place before a larger explosion followed by a few more explosions and ends with the biggest explosion of the entire film. Everybody got that? No, you don't. Because then Michael Bay inserts another explosion before you understand the plot.
- Bad Boys 1 & 2: Stars the Fresh Prince and some other darkie who would later wear a fat suit cause no other black person has ever done that before and it's funny.
- Armageddon: Earth is getting pwned by a giant meteor so America sends oil refinery workers into space to blow it up with a bunch of nukes. Also, Ben Affleck cunt punches Liv Tyler while eating animal crackers.
- Pearl Harbor: Ben Affleck again. This time, he fucks Josh Hartnett and saves Pearl Harbor from a giant bukkake.
- The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: A remake about some retarded psycho who gives surprise buttsecks to unsuspecting teens with a chainsaw and proceeds to wear their skin because he's confused.
- The Island: Some movie about clones and more explosions. Michael Bay bawwwed because nobody gave a shit about it. Needed some cloned, exploding Mudkips.
- Transformers: A shitty two-hour commercial for General Motors and a bunch of fucking toys that stars two groups of robots, the Autobots and Decepticons. Autobots defeat them and coexist with humans. Stars Shia LaBeouf as Sam Witdicky, a basement-dwelling nerd who desperately wants to fuck the slut of the film and looks at shitting dick nipples in his spare time. Based on the lame TV show and toyline.
- Transformers 2: Because Transformers was great success, Michael Bay has stated that he would like to include a transforming buttplug this time.
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Michael Bay's fans
Because Michael Bay is such an amazing director and isn't so full of himself, he has his own forum where he is also a moderator. All of his fans come here and discuss him and his movies. A typical reaction from your average Michael Bay fan includes:
—Typical Michael Bay fan
Michael Bay fails at even trolling himself. Moar explosions followed.