Mike Tyson

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to: navigation, search
Mike Tyson having received an ass pwning by James Douglas.
Jewing it up with Don King.

Mike Tyson is a sexy black guy who is known for eating people's ears and children. He first became known and hated by the general public when he KO'd some shithole and then when he bit another shithole's ear off. But there is more to this man than just his faggotry. For example, not many people know that he allegedly has a 14 inch penis, which is 10 inches bigger than the average cock (According to the Supreme Gentleman) and 20 inches longer than Chris Forcands. He has also claimed to be gay twice. His once immensely gay career was undermined by serious fucking problems, lack of sex, and periods. Upon release following his first prison sentence, he made a heavily anticipated comeback, but failed to reclaim his previous dominance. On June 11, 2005, Tyson suffered a defeat to journeyman Kevin McBride, and shortly after retired from the sport.

Tyson was also once interviewed.

Early years[edit]

Tyson was born and raised in the notorious Shitsville section of Brooklyn to parents Horny Smith Tyson and Jimmy "the Weasel cumfaced guzzler" Kirkpatrick. Like all blackmen his early childhood was marked by sexual deviancy and violence, and his mother had to fend for the entire family following the departure of his father when Tyson was two years old. As he grew up on the streets of Shitsville he would often savagely beat those who ridiculed his high-pitched, queer sounding lispy voice. As a youth, he was constantly in trouble with the police over petty crime and thuggery. Tyson was passed in and out of juvenile detention centers, and was expelled from high school for raping the other children. He was discovered by Nobby Stewart, who noted his raw cock size and apparent boxing ability (i.e hitting a stationary target well) and awesome potential for the ring (i.e. he was black and a rapist). It is said that Mike could put craters into the earth like PCP users but without using PCP, for, being raised on beatings and chicken wings, Tyson was a superb combination of a perfect physical specimen and an emotionally shattered psychopath. Stewart trained him for a few decades, then introduced him to the legendary Michael Jackson.

Tyson in his little remembered mid-1990s Herbie Hide phase. Teddy Atlas is off-image to the right, flinging a bag of dildos at Tyson's head.

Middle Years[edit]

Mike Tyson made his professional debut on March 6, 1975, in Albany, New York, a match which he won by a first round knockout. He fought frequently in his first two years as a professional, staying undefeated and winning all of his fights by murder, almost always in the first round and almost always followed by eating the fallen. His quality of opposition then gradually increased from journeyman fighters to borderline contenders, and his impressive win streak attracted much media attention, leading to his being billed as the next heavyweight CHAMPION OF THE WOOORRRLD. On November 22, 2086, Tyson was given his first title shot, fighting Jesus for the United heavyweight title. Tyson won the title by second round knockout, proving that turning the other cheek is a fucking stupid thing to do in boxing, even if you are the Messiah. At the age of 20 years and 4 months Tyson became the youngest heavyweight champion ever.

While this beating may seem impressive at first glance, the sad truth is that the opponent, Michael Jackson, is retarded and unfit for the aggresive sport of wrestling.
It is delicious ear. You must eat it.

Late Years[edit]

After winning a bunch more fights by cockout, Tyson lost by cockout to James Douglas, a fag with a shit record, which proves that Tyson really can't fight for shit and is a faggot with no dick.

He has recently been diagnosed with asperger's syndrome, and has had allegations, accusations, and masturbations made against him towards him being not black person. These allegations have been backed by the fact that Tyson's once-trainer Cus D'amato was a fag, and Niggas hate fags.

Ear Biting Years[edit]

It has been brought to the attention of everyone who knows about it that, Last Thursday, Mike Tyson is guilty indeed of biting one Evander Holyfield's ear off. Many faggots who don't know the full story will find out here...

Hell hath no fury like a hungry black person scorned.
Mike Tyson's well advertised grill. He often uses the catchphrase "I'm so proud of it, I put my name on it!"
  • Ear bite facts
    • Tyson partially bit Holyfield's ear in response to an alleged headbutt, but it was mostly just because he's a sick fuck.
    • Tyson is a homo, proved by his own cock size in inches.
    • Tyson didn't actually bite the full ear off, just the lobe, which is very fucking ironic because Tyson is a fucktard with no friends.
    • Tyson had recently been cocked out by Holyfield, in their previous fight, which may have been the source of Tyson's teenage angst and aggression.
    • Holyfield claims the bite didn't really hurt at all.
    • Tyson apparently did it for the lulz.
    • Tyson's gay.
    • When asked what ears tasted like, Tyson replied with his fag lisp: "sorta like fried chicken...with a little watermelon as well."

Tyson Quotes[edit]

"Lennox Lewis, I'm coming for you man. My style is impetuous. My defense is impregnable, and I'm just ferocious. I want your heart. I want to eat his children. Praise be to Allah!"

"My main objective is to be professional but to kill him."

"God, Amen! What!?"

"I want to rip out his heart and feed it to him [Lennox Lewis]. I want to kill people. I want to rip their stomachs out and eat their children."

"I've been robbed of most of my money, can I at least get a blowjob?"

"I'm many things, I'm a convicted rapist, I'm a hellraiser, I'm a father, a loving father, I'm a a ya know, a semi good husband, you know what I mean? What?"

"I'll fuck you 'til you love me faggot."

"Listen um.......I broke my back."

"I'm a big strong nigger who knocks out people, and rapes people and rips off people."

On Razor Ruddock

"You're sweet. I'm going to make sure you kiss me good with those big lips. I'm gonna make you my girlfriend."

On Tyrell Biggs

Tyson on Tyrell Biggs' complaining to him about low blows "Low blows? Low blows? Huh! Motherf**ker you're fittin' to die!" -(this one amused his wife, which she discovered while masturbating over pictures of Tysons pin cock)

"He was screaming like my lesbian wife."

"HE HATH THPOKEN! COLD THTONE!"


Mike coming clean...


Daughter's Death[edit]

On May 26, 2009, Mike Tyson's daughter Exodus died (I guess you could say she took an early exodus to her grave; see what I did there?) when a treadmill cord got caught around her neck and apparently choked to death. Tyson's 7 year old son found the body and proceeded to take Exodus' virginity before telling his parents about the incident. Tyson announced that in memory of his daughter he was setting up a new physical fitness charity fund in her name to help disadvantaged black families with young children to purchase exercise equipment to help get their kids in shape from an early age. Tyson also denies that the death was to promote the upcoming relase of the movie "The Hangover" in which he co-starred in.


List of suspects:

See also[edit]

ED olympics.JPG

Mike Tyson
is part of a series on
the ED Special Olympics
Sports

BaseballBasketballCricketFootballGhost RidingButtrapeHandeggHockeyMMAProfessional WrestlingSoccerTennisVuvuzela

Not Sports

BulletballGolfHemaInternet BloodsportsPaulPolandballSexSchool ShootingSoccermoms/sp/StarcraftSuper Smash BrosVideo Games

Competitions

OlympicsSpecial OlympicsLondon 2012Olympic FlameLOLympics2010 World Cup

Topics

SportTeam UruguayNew York YankeesRed Sox NationChicago Cubs/sp/

Athletes

Air BudAllison StokkeBarry BondsBilly MartinBrandon PhillipsBrett FavreBruce JennerCindy CrosbyDiego MaradonaEmiliano SalaGary LinekerGeorge SteinbrennerJim BunningJohn TerryKlitschko brothersLawrence TaylorMichael PhelpsMike TysonNodar KumaritashviliRax GrissmanRobert GreenRon MexicoShawn JohnsonThurman ThomasTy CobbZinedine Zidane

[WatermelonsFried Chicken]
Mike Tyson is part of a series of topics related to Black People
Nigra walking.gif Places

AfricaAfro-chanAtlantaDead Nigger StorageDetroitE.S. Nigger Brown StandEgyptGambia ♠ The GhettoHabbo HotelKenyaLiberiaMediatakeoutMozambiqueNawlinsPrisonRepublic of Sierra LeoneSomaliaSouth AfricaSudanTanzaniaWashington, DCZimbabwe

Personas

AboriginalBlackineseBoko HaramChavCripsGothMikese MorseNativeNiggerNegressNigraOFWGKTAPermit PattyTransniggerWiggerYounger Woolwich Boyz

People

Aaron AlexisAbner LouimaAdria RichardsAfro NinjaAfroduckAinsley HarriottAlison FloydAl SharptonAmanda KijeraAmericanDad86Antoine DodsonBags of MoneyBANGSBarry BondsBernie MacBill ClintonBill CosbyBlack DiligentBarack Hussein ObamaBLACKB0NDBLACKbusterCriticBLACK_MANBlue-SixBomani ArmahBrandon PhillipsBrenda WilliamsBrianna BrochuC-NOTECandyJunkieCarlos Deangelo BellCarltonCasey BrezikCaster SemenyaCharlie Check'mCharles RamseyChris DornerChris Harper-MercerCondoleezza RiceCosmo SetepenraCRoadwarriorCulexorDarius McCollumDangermanDave ChappelleDcigsDeath GripsDramasetterDr. Laura SchlessniggerEugene TerreblancheFresh PrinceFuture the rapperGary ColemanGeneral Butt NakedG-ZayH2OHappy NegroHerman CainIsmaaiyl BrinsleyIsaac HayesJadaJames BarkleyJames WatsonJeremiah TrueJesse JacksonJinuSenpaiJkidJoseph KonyKanye WestKejuan MasonKerney ThomasKobe BryantKorryn GainesLatarian MiltonLil BLoud NigraM0M0koMadThad0890MajelaZeZeDiamondMalcolm XMark EssexMartin Luther King, Jr.Matrooko11Marvin Morvan and Alex TeniolaMary Alice AltorferMaurice ClemmonsMeek MillMicah DawsonMichael AregaMichael JacksonMichael VickMike TysonMintahMiss LandmineMr PregnantMr. TMuteba KidiabaMychal BellNawlinWikiNicki MinajNigger PigNtokozo QwabeOFWGKTAOG LocOJ SimpsonOld Spice GuyOprah WinfreyP DiddyProfessor KuhtoonsPurple AkiQueen KongReverend XRobert Butler Jr.Rocky LockridgeRon MexicoRoyce da 5'9"RucasRudy EugeneSenator Barack Hussein ObamaSheneequaSonicfoxSoulja BoyStarlaglamSteve Hodder-WattSteve StephensSweet BrownRick RossTacgnolTarisai VusheTay ZondayTedius ZanarukandoThe Booty WarriorThe CrackheadThe TrashmanTiger WoodsTMossBossTookie WilliamsTony48219Tony EvereadyTrayvon MartinTyra BanksUnMaskingTheTruthValisHDVester Lee "Bryce Williams" Flanagan IIViperWaluigis-girlWill SmithWoah VickyWrong Location NiggerZwarte Piet

Wiggers

6ix9ineChadwardennLil PumpRachel DolezalTalcum XTsimFuckisWoah Vicky

Parlance

Are You Serious?BECAUSE MY CAPS LOCK KEY IS LOUDBix NoodBOOYA!Dat AssDINDUNUFFINEbonicsENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER DO YOU SPEAK ITFirst World ProblemsFlea Market MontgomeryFuck The PoliceGeorge Bush doesn't care about black peopleHack is Wack!Happy NegroI Go Chop Your DollarImma Let You Finish IM PRESSIN CHARGESNiggers tongue my anusNot racistRead a BookScrub Me Mama With A Boogie BeatSittin On Tha ToiletSmell yo dickThanks ObamaThe BoondocksThese CuffsWE WUZ KINGZ AN SHEITWHOOYou'll Cowards Don't Even Smoke CrackBrraa pap pap pap

Pastimes

365Black.com419 Nigerian Email ScamsBasketballBlackbirdBooty ShakingChikinsChimpoutConspiracy theoriesCrackDallas Sniper AttacksDogo Nahawa MassacreDolemiteFUBUJenkemKFC Double DownKool-AidLinux for NiggersNigga Know TechnologyPool's ClosedRacismRapRapeRiotsSlave TetrisSoulja Boy Tellem ChatSwagThe Black SentinelThe Great Black Dick Hoax (see also Niggerdick and Niggercock)TwitterUbuntuVoodooVuvuzelaWatermelonzWorldstar Hiphop

Past

BLACK FACE contempoBlack History MonthLynchingNO NIGGERSSlavery (see also Nigger Manual)

Present

AIDSAll The Niggers Are DeadBlack Lives MatterBlack PantherBlack People Love Us!Chocolate RainComputer Science IIICulexorGay Nigger Association of AmericaJena SixP.A. PalaceSheeeitThere are no niggers on the InternetUnemployment ♠ and Welfare

Enemies

A. Wyatt MannAznBLM KillerCopsDylann Storm RoofEbola virusEmploymentEpic Beard ManIlluminatiKu Klux KlanJames WatsonJohnny RebelJustine SaccoKramerRacismSpicsPopobawaWWhite peopleWhite supremacyWhitewashing

Cat eyes.JPG
Mike Tyson is part of a series on Enemies of The Lulz
[Cry MoarNot Funny]
<font-size="10pt">Bawwwww bunny.jpg
People

AdorkablegrrlAniMatAngry Homo KidAnonymousArabAsalieriBehind The MemeBledelBlood on the Dance FloorBlueCatRioluBigbadronCopperCabAaron0883CrusaderCatCubbyDaniel BrandtDynaCatlovesmeEgg_GirlFakeSaganFelice_FawnFiredarkdragonFlardoxFreelancerraikoGary FreemanGirlvinylHayakainHozupindahows00sHTS-NoobIrish282JEWS DID WTCJaymz MutzJoão BernardoJolene JRydaK00lAIDGIRLKaputskyAndreaurbanfoxKevin ProvanceKevin RuddNorth KoreaLemon DemonLifeInATentLifeInACampLivyLulz in hell TrollfagsM0M0koManeaeveMariozplazeMars DefdenMeganLeeHeartMegan MeierMessyJessieMichael GimsonMike TysonMissalyssumMyIDIsPhatNick BravoNekoNeotomiOnisionPeter ChimaeraPhantom409PsyguyQixRangerphileRefath0Retro Video Game KidsRootbrianSailorMercury90SapphyDracasesSarahChihuahuaSevva-PhoenixShane HalliganShaycarlSteAndKelSteve Hodder-WattSue BaskoSuperlisamcbSuzi BluTanja FleischerTheAmazingAtheistTheArchfiendThe Beer Pong MassacreThe Great Black Dick HoaxTheMysteriousMrEnterTheresa ShellerToby J RathjenToonEGuyTori BelliachiTyler BarrissUndertakerfreak1127VampireVampiricspektorVelvetFlowingAuraVoice-of-BloodWeatherManKevinWolfeedarkfang/supportersZENZzz33333


Websites


Methods


End Result


See Also


Featured article June 3rd & 4th, 2016
Preceded by
LadyALT69
Mike Tyson Succeeded by
Coincidence Detector