TorGuard-VPN-Sitenotice2.gif
Anonymous VPN Service + Torrent Proxy


Scales.png JONATHAN MONSARRAT FILED A SLAPP SUIT AGAINST US. Scales.png
Scales.png Please donate what you can via Wesearchr to help us crowdfund this case.Scales.png

Bitcoin: 1BUeFKUrFwnQAujNHWGzHgoJAxRixVprow

Mikevirus

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to: navigation, search
Aspergerbenice.gif This person has Assburgers Syndrome,
so you can't say anything bad! :-(


Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck.

Mr. Nieves

Virus (Powerword: Michael Daniel Nieves) was part of an extinct species of the genus Homo, possibly a subspecies of Homo sapiens, who started stealing AOL accounts several years after AOL started to become irrelevant. He is closely related to Xbox Live E-thugs, differing in DNA by only 0.3%, just twice the variability across contemporary script kiddies. Remains left by virus include a stack of AOL trial CDs, a few post-it notes covered with Lexis Nexis logins, and a copy of Kevin Mitnick's The Art of Deception, all of which were found in the Staten Island area.

Behaviorally, the subspecies of AOL social engineers which virus belonged to is very similar to (but less advanced than) the modern day Xbox Live/HackForums/Skype skid. Despite being more primitive than his Xbox Live descendants, mikevirus has been somewhat deified by them because he was one of the first mammals to really be known to the wider world for stealing accounts. This form of ancestor worship has persisted into the present day. Even though he professes to be unable to actually use computers (it will be left as an exercise to the reader to determine whether this is due to racial differences or due to his aforementioned classification outside of homo sapiens), litte Michael somehow doesn't see the hypocrisy in criticizing the skills of others.

Anatomically, virus is very similar to modern humans, but has a cranial capacity between 750-1100cc. The less developed brain (as evidenced by his own mother calling him a special ed student to reporters, primarily due to his tendency to chimp out on everyone for no reason at all) and smaller size are the primary physical differences which separate him from real humans.

Timeline from the fossil record

Snitch vs Snitch

Circa 2004-2005, Mike dropped out of school instead of getting kicked out for fighting. According to his own mother (see above), he was always in special ed classes, because he kept getting into fights with his human classmates.

In 2007, little Michael got v& by a competing species of lesser primates known as the police. They showed up at his door because AOL trolled him by taking all of his accounts, so he decided to go on a social engineering spree and started wreaking havoc in the only way he knew how: He started taking the usernames of senior citizens (the same people who indirectly funded his family's scammed welfare checks by paying taxes) and keeping them for himself.

In 2009, virus used a Lexis Nexis account to pull Kevin Mitnick's dox, in a bid to establish his superiority over another person who is primarily known for his social engineering exploits.

During the summer of 2011, virus had a conversation with Sabu, in which they both (correctly) accused each other of being informants. A dramatic re-enactment of the log can be found here. Mike got a small measure of e-fame in March 2012, when Fox News ran its exclusive stories about Sabu being an FBI informant at the time of the conversation.

Dramatic re-enactment of Sabu vs Virus aka Dumb & Dumber Part 3

Late in 2012, CosmoTheGod (Powerword: Eric Tristan Taylor) doxed Mike's immediate family in the same way Mike doxed Kevin Mitnick (and for the same reasons). He got bonus points for violating his probation while doing so, then discarding Mike like a used condom and turning his attention to the Westboro Baptist Church, Souljaboy, and Jennifer Emick. They are now friends, and presumably Mike is trying to lure the underaged Eric to New York in order to molest him, since his kid is too small.

In 2013, virus was seen whiteknighting for both CosmoTheGod and zeekill on Twitter and IRC, primarily by being butthurt for some reason about the fact that nachash once bullied JoshTheGod's FBI handler into making Josh go dark for a few weeks. It has been noted that both zee and Cosmo are taller than average 16 year old boys, which can only mean that Mike has another fetish, in addition to infants.

Quotes

Nuvola
Moar info: Mikevirus/Logs.
Michael Nieves aka virus crying about wtfux.png


   
 
I can steal AIMs with a phone call. trust me I'm not stupid.
 

 
 

—Mike Nieves, partying like it's 1999.


   
 
he has always been a special ed student.
 

 
 

—Luz Nieves, Mike's mom, admitting he's retarded.

Gallery

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]



See Also

External Links


Mikevirus is part of a series on
Pedobear.png
UnV& Pedophiles [-+]

Aaron WilliamsAdam LanzaAlenonimoAlison RappAmber ButtrumAndy MaherAngryjediAnimatedJamesBeefraveBikerfoxBill CosbyBritbongCasey AnthonyChaosscizzorsColonel McBadassComicalityCyril SmithDaddyOFiveDahvie VanityDangermanDeekerDidaskalosDynacatlovesmeEric RidenourErik MöllerFergie OliverFrank BonafedeGreg MazujianGreville JannerG-ZayHarrison DigfootHumonHypnoHunter MooreIce PoseidonIrish282James Terry Mitchell JrJerry Peetjervaise brooke hamsterJimmy SavileJohn Patrick RogersJoseph KonyJustin BerryJustin DabrowKaitlyn HuntKatherine MarionKyle PerkinsLena DunhamLeonard F. Shaner Jr.LittleCloudLtFlaggerLogansperman2Lucian HodobocM. ChaosMagicrichMandoPonyMao ZedongMichael JacksonMikevirusMatrooko11MZMcBrideNathanrNeil FoxOmegaloreOnisionPaul WalkerPennywisePurple AkiRalph SquillaceRiverman72Roger SampsonSam DeathWalkerSam RassenfossSarah ButtsShane LeeSibeScientologySethistoSophie LabelleTheAmazingAtheistThomas Watt HamiltonTimboxTrap-kunTyciolUncle GrandpaUpdownmostlyViolentacrezVonHeltonWoody AllenW. T. SnacksYoung Tubers UnitedYtask

Web1pointO.jpg
Mikevirus
is part of a series on Web 1.0

    [BACK TO THE FUTUREANCIENT HISTORY] 

Old Memes  • Celebs, h4x0rz, and Phreaks  • Technologies  • Fun and Games  • Events  • Death of Web1.0
Click topics to expand

Featured article November 28 & 29, 2013
Preceded by
Fast Eddie
Mikevirus Succeeded by
Juggalo Holocaust