CONNOR THORN AND THE FILM REEL OF THE COSMOS:
Connor Thorn, 15, lived in a quiet, ordinary suburb just outside a large, wild and exciting city, and was the only child of two very boring Mormon parents. A black sheep in his family history, Connor aspired to rise high above the confines of his strict, mundane upbringing, and dreamed of one day being a famous cult filmmaker. However, his parents controlled almost every aspect of his life and he had never come across an opportunity to pursue his calling up until now.
It was the second week of Summer vacation, and Connor had been planning with his friends for a big secret trip to the neighboring city while his parents were both away visiting their other spouses. There was a large amateur film festival being held at the convention center which was visible in the distance from Connor's front yard, where thousands of people would be attending, including a small number of high–profile celebrities. The grand prize for the best film of the show as chosen by the judges was a 30–karat gold–encrusted medallion worth at least $3,000, and a tentative movie contract with Sony Pictures, which was odd considering this was just a random local event. Connor obviously would like very much to be the winner of this grand prize, but did not expect to and would be happy just to get some public exposure. The event was heavily discussed in the local news, and Connor had been hearing about frequently on the small amount of television he was allowed to watch for the past few weeks, and knew that it was the biggest opportunity to start a filmmaking career that had ever occurred to him, and likely would be for the foreseeable future.
Being familiar with his many unusual and amusing home videos, and knowing that his parents constantly restricted his activities Connor's friends, who included local boy genius Peter Quartsing, three times–arrested delinquent and registered sex offender Mitchell Rolland, his slutty girlfriend Lizzie, and Connor's best friend, Aaron Gilbert, had offered to help him take advantage of the situation and get into the film festival while his parents were away. Connor, who hated his parents and never for a moment believed any of their bull$h!t, secretly reading from the Gospel in his private time, was well on board with the idea. However, pulling it off would not be all that easy, as Connor's parents had hired his half step–uncle twice removed Grady Sagat to babysit while they were away, who was a drug–dealing chain smoker and closet pedophile. Connor had an extensive family tree with several much more responsible relatives readily available, and even if he didn't a regular babysitter would be more trustworthy to watch their son than an abuser like Grady, who lived miles away from their house anyway and wasn't even the most conveniently located guardian available, so there was absolutely no justifiable reason whatsoever for Connor's parents to have chosen this awful man to take care of their boy, they were just that stupid. They would need to figure out a way to get past him, which was a very dangerous risk. In addition, there was the matter of finding sufficient transport and money for a group of lower–class teenagers to travel to the convention center and back on their own. Luckily, Connor did have a film ready for when he got there, which he had been working on over the past several months and wanted to keep a surprise to his friends until the public exhibition.
Fortunately, they had a plan thought out ahead of time; initially the plan for getting past Grady as conceived by Mitchell was to murder him and make it look like an accident and/or suicide, but the group had since reached a consensus of this being a bad idea. So instead, they decided to get the man out of the way by simply poisoning his drink with a knockout drug that induced long–term Amnesia, and leaving a note for when he woke up stating that he had been enlisted by the military to help lead liberation efforts in the Middle East, and should report immediately to Libya. This, they figured, should keep him occupied for at least a few weeks, and in the event that Grady never returned they could not legally be held accountable, and nobody would probably care anyway. Meanwhile, Aaron had manufactured a copy of his father's credit card (Aaron's family was very rich, so they wouldn't mind much), and Peter offered to use the trip as a test outing for the prototype electric solar–powered hover vehicle he had been developing in his secret laboratory hidden underneath his backyard sandbox. This was convenient, since none of them had access to any normal cars or knew how to drive one, except for Lizzie who didn't say anything because she wasn't used to independently speaking for herself.
Peter's vehicle was a grand creation, sphere–shaped with a network of protruding tubes comprising the engine systems (which would later be refined and covered by a rear hood in the final model), as well as large pink–glowing solar panels all along the dorsal area, which were only colored as such because it looked cool. It was controlled via a revolutionary system responding to body movements and brainwaves. Aaron volunteered to pilot the machine, being the most physically fit and articulate of the group, and a brown belt in Karate. In addition, the vehicle was equipped with a rudimentary self-cloaking system, which allowed a quick flight to the destination high above all the traffic to go undetected, however at one point the invisibility did briefly fail and the machine was glimpsed by a small number of unassuming bystanders, one of whom managed to capture a blurry photo, thus giving birth to yet another urban UFO legend.
Regardless, Connor and friends made it to the convention center in excellent time, and Connor got to be one of the first directors to arrive at the film festival and set up his film booth. At first, when the place was relatively empty, Connor felt very confident and hopeful, but as more participants showed up and put up their much more elaborate and decorated mini–theaters, he became worried. Connor had not really expected to make it this far and hadn't prepared at all for the presentation of his film. Now nobody would even bother to look at his show! However, as luck would have it, Christopher Nolan, Connor's #1 filmmaking idol, just so happened to be walking past at that moment, followed of course by a large crowd of fans, and knowing not to judge something by its outward appearance and wanting to at least give every film at the event a quick look, was the first person to visit Connor's mini–theater, with his fans filling up every seat in the room. Connor thought to himself, "Holy $#!^ it's Christopher Nolan!!!" and immediately set to playing his film in the projector. He saw his homemade production logo appear on the screen with music, and the title of the movie shot up in large bright–green letters: "The Secret of the Skellolks: Blazing Genesis. Connor was extremely nervous, as nobody else had seen his movie before this and he hadn't any feedback to know well or poorly his creation would be received. To be personally panned by Christopher Nolan would be the absolute worst possible thing that could happen to him as a budding filmmaker, and he had experienced nightmares of the scenario several times; it would shatter his dreams forever. Unable to bear the intense stress and anxiety, Connor quietly walked out of his booth right after starting up his movie, so quietly that his friends didn't even notice.
He ran over to the toy expo being held in the other area of the building, where he loitered for the duration of the film – 1 hour, 38 minutes, during which time he spent hundreds of dollars on figurines, trading cards and soda using Aaron's family's credit card, before finally making his way back to his setup, where to his surprise, everyone was still in the theater as the credits were rolling, including Christopher Nolan, who as soon as he saw Connor walking back in, got up, walked over to him and asked, "Son, are you the one responsible for that film?'
"Aahh…uuhhh…. Yes, Mr. Nolan." Connor replied nervously, not sure if his hero was pleased or angry. "Well then congratulations, boy!" Nolan continued enthusiastically, forcing the nervous boy into a handshake. "That was the third greatest movie I've seen since Inception! I came to this event mainly for routine publicity, but I never expected to see anything so amazing as your production in a place like this. You have the workings of a great filmmaker, and I don't just say that to everyone; if you did all that stunning work with just your local resources, a full big–budget production may very well be the best damn movie ever made if you put in the same amount of effort and enthusiasm."
Connor was so overjoyed that he became speechless, and could only express his immense satisfaction and gratitude by grinning widely and stupidly. What happened next, Connor was even more unprepared for: Christopher Nolan suddenly darted out of the theater and ran out into the middle of the convention center like a madman, and yelled out loud to the attentive and confused crowd: "HEY EVERYONE, STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND GO SEE THAT KID'S MOVIE! IT'S BETTER THAN ANYTHING ELSE AT THIS CRUDDY CONVENTION; CHRISTOPHER NOLAN SAID SO!"
Within seconds, people were swarming in to see Connor's movie. Nolan's support had instantly made his the most popular feature at the event, and who would expect anything less under these circumstances. For the rest of the day, Connor was on top of the world. By the time the convention center closed at 9:00 P.M., he had attracted more than 2,000 viewers to his show, and Blazing Genesis was so far leading by a landslide in the ongoing public voting for the best movie of the show, which would determine the grand prize winner. Connor and his friends stayed in a nearby motel for the night and returned the following morning for day two of the three–day event. He was quite certain that nothing could threaten his winning the film festival now. He was wrong.
Firstly, Christopher Nolan had left after the first day of the event and wouldn't be there to give Connor any more endorsement, but this in itself was not much of a problem, as word of mouth about his movie had already been spreading sufficiently among the attendees. However, the real problem arose when one of the other films at the show, a full–scale epic fantasy adventure movie with all the visuals made entirely using Legos, was suddenly brought to the utmost attention of everyone when James Cameron announced that it was his favorite film of the show, on a giant wall–mounted screen where everyone could immediately see it, no less. Suffice it to say, Connor's film was no longer the most popular item of the event. At first he thought that maybe the Lego movie couldn't catch up to his in the votings with just two days of exposure as opposed to his three, but when he checked the contest standings he was shocked to find that it had racked up more than half as many favorites as his movie within just a couple hours, and was continuing to increase in popularity while Connor's movie had received almost no additional attention since Cameron's announcement. Granted, Connor hadn't expected to win the competition in the first place and already had gotten more attention than he initially could have hoped for, but now that victory was within his reach Connor was not going to let it be snatched away from him like this. Something had to be done, and fast!
Connor called in his friends for an emergency meeting in the V.I.P. section of the convention center, desperately hoping someone would have an idea to somehow stop the Lego film from winning the film festival. Nobody could think of anything off the bat, so they started brainstorming together. Using his personally customized deluxe scientific calculator, Peter soon determined that the rival film would need to be removed from the equation entirely within the next five hours at most for Connor's movie to surpass its score by then in the standings by the end of the third day, at the rate of votes it had been getting at the start of the second day, before James Cameron's appearance. Mitchell was the first to propose an idea to the group, which involved blackmailing, drug cartels and possible murder, and was dismissed by the others as being too time–consuming.
Then Connor himself thought of a much better idea: they could take the invisibility generating device from Peter's flying machine, which they had hidden in an abandoned middle school near the convention center, and use it as an "invisibility cloak" for one of them to sneak into the Lego film's projector room and sabotage the film equipment, disabling any further showings for the remainder of the event and drawing the audiences' attention back to Blazing Genesis. It wouldn't hurt the maker of the other film much, he reasoned, since if his work really was that good he could probably exhibit it successfully somewhere else where he wasn't at odds with Connor's budding career, since unlike Connor he presumably didn't have oppressive parents to stop him from going out and doing that.
Just as he was about to announce this idea to his friends, Connor suddenly saw before him a vision of Jiminy Cricket, representing his conscience, telling him to do the right thing and not interfere with the other film. After taking a moment to consider his choice, Connor decided to go through with cheating anyway and grabbed a conveniently placed hammer from a nearby table, and threw it at Jiminy Cricket, destroying him and also creating a large dent in the wall. This immediately aroused the attention of Connor's friends, who were startled by this abrupt and random act of destructiveness, and quickly changing the subject, Connor explained to them his new idea. Peter confirmed that the invisibility device from his vehicle could indeed be applied to any other object, including a human, albeit with unreliable effects, and the group unanimously approved of the plan, which came off as so brilliant that they forgot completely about the fact that Connor had just thrown a dangerous blunt object across the room for no apparent reason that could easily have hit and seriously harmed someone, and was a clear sign of a serious psycho–behavioral disorder. Wasting no time, they left through the back door of the convention center right after Connor started up the next showing of his film for the few people still coming to see it, and went to the abandoned school where the vehicle and cloaking device was located to set into motion their covert operation…
TO BE CONTINUED…
Moleman has used his videos only to inflate his ego to an all time high and actually uses his youtube poops as proof that he is CREATIVE and IMAGINATIVE; this along with horrendous sentence mixing as being his primary way of making Youtube Poops, it is no wonder why nobody would ever want to franchise
the Nava–Verse anything he has come in contact with.
Gabe didn't realize at the time that anyone could edit a wiki and that his precious wiki was no exception to the rule. 888chan saw a great opportunity to have some fun vandalizing the wiki and took action. In Moleman's eyes, the worst thing that trolls did was vandalize his wiki with porn.
Moleman has recently returned to deviantART, and as to be expected, he's still the same sperg.