—Suzzie M. Paramito, o rly
Morgan Anson, also known as Suzzie M. Paramito, is the Sheriff of YouTube. She has embarked on the impossible dream, to rid YouTube of trolls, spammers, hackers, and any other bad people she can think of. Together with her hearty band of misfits, she scours the internet trying to find new ways to become a pain in someone's ass. Best friend to LambiSinClair, and chief apologist for LordZedd16, Suzzie makes it her business to defend the undefendable, fight the unfightable, and does her best to try and fuck shit up that has nothing to do with her. Hers is a tale of great justice, as you will soon see, as this fat loudmouth cunt gets exactly what she deserves: ruin.
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The Secret Life of "Morgan Anson"
Suzzie started out somewhat normal. She used to write poems and song lyrics and books, and pretty much kept to those circles. Then one day something snapped inside her, and made her clench up her fat little fist in anger. She decided to become "Morgan Anson, Super Troll Hunter". She began telling wild stories about herself, like being born in a different country, married to "exotic foreign men", running some imaginary business, and doing late night surgery in some imaginary hospital somewhere. The bullshit was pretty thick.
She would make comment after comment and video after video about how awesome and wonderful her life is, never bothering to explain how she had time to run all 2,000 of her various accounts on numerous websites, with such an amazing and awesome RL. She bragged herself up all over the place and talked about how she was "down with the hackers", and all sorts of ridiculous shit. She even went so far as to make the bold statement that she can NEVER be doxed, because her "hacker" friends wouldn't let that happen.
The "hacker" friends she was referring to turned out to be a bunch of arab skiddies running a "hacking forum". The banner on their forum says "Welcome to the gateway of hacking", and "Learn hacking in just a few a clicks". These guys are so 1337 that they even make videos on how to clean your registry.
—, hacking the english language
Her faggotry became so excessive that, at one point, a web designer with the name that she stole "Morgan Anson", had to post a disclaimer stating that he wasn't her. Apparently her douchebaggery was impacting his business.
Things were going well for Suzzie. She had been on YouTube 3 long years and had successfully avoided having any of her personal information leaked to the many people she had pissed off. Then one fateful day, tragedy struck. Suzzie had become so overconfident and full of herself that she didn't realize the fatal error she made when she began mixing trolling accounts with personal information. Her many enemies were aware of her email address firstname.lastname@example.org, and they were aware which accounts they were tied to. Suzzie, being the moderator of a fake hacking forum and all, thought she knew it all. She thought that she could hide the Flickr account tied to that email by simply changing her screen name on Flickr. After changing her screen name she then felt so well protected that she added captions to her photos that gave away the real names of the people in the photos. Seeing as how she and her ex-husband both had fairly unique names, Suzzie and Norbert, and that the state she lived in was already known (Pennsylvania), a little bit of Googling and BAM! Dox were found. From there it just mushroomed like an A-bomb. All her aliases were found Suzzie M. Navarro, Suzzie M. Paramito, Suzzie M. Paramito-Navarro, etc.
Game over right? Ordinarily yes, but in this case no. What happened next was a rollercoaster of denial to rival that of Bill Clinton's stained dress dilemma. Suzzie began commenting all over YouTube claiming "wrong dox", and she actually still is doing so. Her story has gone through several evolutions so far. Here's the current list of her revisions:
I Don't Know Any Suzzie
1) "Little hint, I wasn't born in the U.S. show me my name. Show me my visa picture."
2) "do you have any idea how many of these people named navaro are in this city? there is a hundred listing, and no, that isn't my birthday, either."
3) "You are just hanging yourself, police were called, this channel was reported. Now unless you are above the FBI, you can't do shit to escape it."
Okay I Do Know Suzzie
4) "Yes, I know who it is, and no, it isn't a blood relation to me. I did tell her about the accounts"
Okay Suzzie Is A Close Friend
5) "Like I normally do. Do I know her? yes. Is she related to me, no. Just close friends."
6) "Would you like to SEE Suzzie Paramito, because I do know who that is. It's the girl that gave me the acidityfalls account when I lost my Ansons one remember? Idiots."
Okay Suzzie Is My Cousin
7) "would you like to see my cousin, Suzzie navarro, now? The family resemblance is unmistakeable. SHE did file a FBI report on you, yes."
No Wait! She's A Distant Cousin. Yeah, That's It.
8) "you will meet her in person, and that will prove I am not suzzie, and no, you CAN'T find my addy, or my correct name because we are not first cousins"
Now She's Suzzie, But Not THAT Suzzie
9) "the suzzie thing, that is my name, but not that spelling. It is my cousin and brother in law they are talking she is the one who gave me the two accounts from 07-08 when my ansons got suspended."
Mom Of The Year
Suzzie is well known for her exceptional parenting skills. In the course of her many wars the "trolls and haters", she's made it perfectly clear that she has no problem using her children as cannon fodder in her petty YouTube arguments. In this video, she coerces her daughter into arguing with the trolls for her. Great work Mom!
Now with the recent event surrounding her dox being dropped, Suzzie gets to pin another medal on her tattooed chest for excellent parenting. In the course of her arguments with her detractors, Suzzie stated several times that the girl named "Winter" in her Flickr account was absolutely, postively, 100% NOT her daughter (even though she looks just like her).
—Suzzie M. Paramito, unce
—Suzzie M. Paramito, tice
—Suzzie M. Paramito, Fee times a mady
Once again Suzzie thought she was smarter than everyone else, and didn't realize that comments from old deleted videos could be resurrected through the magic of Google API data. On the comments of her old deleted video "Cinnamon Girl", on Wednesday, June 11, 2008 at 12:36 AM, Suzzie M. Paramito wrote the following:
—Suzzie M. Paramito, admitting Winter is her daughter
—Suzzie Paramito, thinks somebody cares
—Suzzie Paramito, trying the old "I'm happy about my article" bit
In addition to "not caring" as hard as she possibly can, Suzzie has now removed every whitepages.com listing for every Paramito in the entire state of Pennsylvania. She has also either deleted, disguised, or intentionally suspended almost every account listed in the External Links section.
6/2/10 Suzzie desperate for attention decided to have public Cybersex with the sock troll aka "Phuck". Later she told her best friend LambiSinClair that she had just masturbated with Phuck on MSN to Lambi's fap video. Click here for the LambiSinClair fap video
—Suzzie M. Paramito, whatever you gotta tell yourself
The break up
7/3/10 One month later Suzzie had a falling out with Phuck, as nobody can stand Suzzie's craziness for too long.
Phuck soon started handing out the private tits video that Suzzie had made for him. The video showed the full extent of fail that is her bird tattoo.
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Prior to these events Suzzie had put her own daughter on film to tell the trolls of youtube that they should not upload sexual content because children like her are watching. Click here for the video
—Suzzie's daughter, after being coerced into doing what Suzzie wanted.
The public video convo Suzzie had with her daughter.
"Why do you like to come on youtube?" -Suzzie
"Well cause there are lots of friends, there better friends than outside friends." - daughter
"Because their more fun to play on computers than outside." -daughter
"You love the computer right?" -Suzzie
"You're really good at the computer?" -Suzzie
"You can do everything yourself?" -Suzzie
"And mommy has to put on adult lock to protect you from everything right?" -Suzzie
"Cause theres people putting nasty stuff on there." -Suzzie
"Because their dumb." -daughter
"Their dumb? Why do they wanna show you their naky parts?" -Suzzie
"Just because their an idiot." -daughter
"And they ruin, they ruin youtube for everybody right?" -Suzzie
"Thats pretty bad." -Suzzie
In other words: her daughter has been trained to live on the computer just like her mother Suzzie because its "more fun to play on computers than outside" and Suzzie has to "put on adult lock" because Suzzie and her best friend LambiSinClair have been "putting nasty stuff on there" like videos showing "naky parts" and this all happens because Suzzie is a "dumb idiot" that "ruins youtube for everybody" and "thats pretty bad".
Reaction to her ED update
7/4/10 Suzzie had been completely exposed as a hypocrite and again was unable to deal with the reality of things, so like always she created her own reality. Suzzie claimed to have pwned herself on purpose! No motive could be established and Suzzie claimed it didn't bother her.
Control freak Suzzie would rather have people believe she had pwned herself on purpose then face the truth.
What Suzzie would like you to think happened: Over a year ago while touring the floating mountains of Pandora Suzzie hatched a brilliant plan to show the world just how hard she could pwn somebody and how little she was bothered by being pwned. Her plan was to pwn herself and take full credit for it. First step of her plan was to get on cam with her daughter and tell the trolls of youtube not to upload sexual content because children are watching. Second part of the plan was to wait a full year then engage in public cyber sex with some pathetic loser and send him a private video of her tits. Third part of the plan was to wait exactly one month then intentionally have a bad break up with the loser she had been cybering so he would release her private tits video out of anger. Fourth part of the plan was to sit back while everyone laughed at her and called her a hypocrite. Fifth she would claim she did it all on purpose. Sixth Profit.
- Internet Humanitarianism
- suspended on purpose - suspended on purpose - suspended on purpose - closed after getting doxed- reopened- suspended on purpose - suspended on purpose - closed - suspended on purpose - suspended on purpose - closed - suspended - closed - closed - closed - closed - closed - closed - closed - closed
- Lesleyblood - she gave this one to
- closed - closed - closed - closed - closed
- renamed "jesuit" after getting doxed
deleted after getting doxed deleted after getting doxed
Photo uploads that still work even though the Xenophility account is closed:
Suzzie Navarro on Facebookclosed after getting doxed MorganAnson on Last.fmdeleted after getting doxed
- MorganAnson on Pandora
Xenophility on Photobucketdeleted after getting doxed LadyPessoa on Flickr- deleted after getting doxed
MorganAnson is part of a series on
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LERNIN 2 INTERNET
Aspierations • BLANKING IN PROGRESS • Charming Naïveté • Delete fucking everything • DOIN IT RONG • Edginess • Failing it • Internet tough guy • Kids on the internet • Legal action • Liberalism • Mental illness • Mod Sass • Skript kiddies • Sob Stories • Trolls • Unrealistic Expectations • Unwarranted Self-Importance • Waaaambulance
MorganAnson is part of a series on YouTube.