Anyone asking for donations to pay the server bills is trying to scam you.
—Pedobear subbing in as Mr. Bucket's commercial announcer.
Also known as a "Dog in a Bathtub" training device.
Before the days of MySpace, Facebook, AIM and other such mediums, pedophiles had to WORK for a living to get the 12 year old ass they so craved. But how to get children excited about balls in mouths without chatrooms to entice them with? This was the conundrum that faced baby fuckers the world over at least 100 years ago.
Enter Mr. Bucket.
As per the instructions devised by none other than Pedobear himself:
This is a children's dexterity game featuring Mr. Bucket - a plastic electronic bucket with a cartoonish face and a large mouth. To begin, Mr. Bucket is placed on the floor in an open area. Each player takes a colored shovel, and 12 balls (4 for each player) are placed on the floor nearby. Mr. Bucket is then turned on and he begins moving, jingling and circling the floor. Players must immediately try to scoop up a ball that matches their color shovel and quickly drop it into Mr. Bucket. They must hurry as Mr. Bucket will spit balls out of his mouth almost as fast as the players can put them in. The first player to get all of his or her balls into Mr. Bucket wins.
—Actual description from the Canadian Babies R Us online store
It is unknown whether the designers at Milton Bradley did it for the lulz or whether they were simply balding pedophiles wanting to have "buckets of fun" with "buckets of cum". ; the theme song shown below lends credence to both theories:
The Horrifying Truth of Mr. Bucket
Theme Lyrics as Brought to you by Milton Bradley
The Horror of Mr. Bucket.Disregard that, domain's parked. Mr. Bucket's new website-he's trying to go legit. Troll the fuck out of him for great justice. Apparently Canadians still enjoy putting their balls into Mr. Bucket. Canadian Parent's discussion forum on the suitability of Mr. Bucket for kid's use. Troll for the lulz.
- Site describing the "Mr. Bucket Shits" after eating too much White Castle.
- The origins of the infamous Mr. Bucket.
- The Mr. Bucket Theme in mp3 form. Perfect substitute for the Microsoft sound.
Mr. Bucket is part of a series on