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Msscribe, an LJ whore and Harry Potter fantard, was one of the greatest trolls in the history of the internets. Like some sort of a Hydra/troll hybrid, once one sock was disposed to take the fall for her, another three would spring up. Much lulz ensued in her wake, continuing today from many people who still fail to realize they were all part of a master plan to launch Msscribe into the inner circle of Harry Potter fantards and thus bring about the coming lulzapocalypse.
Msscribe was known for creating two distinctive styles of sockpuppet:
- The “ friend”: a sock whose personal info was subject to changes over time, but were always “ very close” and would die for her.
- The “ troll”: whenever it seemed like the people around her were turning their attentions to something more worthwhile, this sock was employed to grasp their interest. This sock would feed her straight lines and generally be a poor troll, some of them even praised her writing despite “ hating her”.
Ever since the inception of the mighty internet, there have been clusters of fantards who all believe they all belong to the our-shit-doesn’t-stink club. However, few have reached the absolutely huge and easily butthurt status of the Harry Potter fandom. And thus our story begins in January, a tale of trolls, fairies, and one clever bitch who divided the community of rabid HP fans for years, and ruined more than a few lives.
In the beginning, there was Harry Potter 4 Grownups on Yahoo!, and for a time things were good. People would chat, trade rape anecdotes, and show off their Harry/Draco slash. However, this pedo paradise was soon torn asunder by the ship wars, forcing those who refused to give up their OTP’s to migrate in one flabby, pale mass to communities that would support their gay little pairings.
- Sugar Quill supported Harry/Ginny and Ron/Hermione, but no pr0n.
- Fiction Alley supported all pairings, pr0n allowed.
- Griffindor Tower were Harry/Ginny Nazis, and password protected their smut.
SQ and GT were more or less okay with each other, despite GT’s deathly fear of slash. Even after a plagiarism scandal that happened a few months before FA was launched, relations were good in the circle jerk of HP fanfiction communities.
Then, after an e-stalking war, involving a fat whore of GT getting a hold of the dox of an alpha bitch at FA, relations were tense. People were much more sensitive than usual, the fandom was ripe for a schism. And then the clouds parted and lo! There was Msscribe.
I have your IP bitches!
After this post by Msscribe in her LJ, a new challenger approach’d. This was her second troll sock, killiganhashope.
—Killiginhashope, nice moniker fuckwad.
Yes, children, not only was her second troll a Christian fundie too, he knew the other one! What are the odds?
For the next ten hours killigan fought a comment war with Msscribe and her cronies, several other “anonymous” users showing up to support him. This also started a tradition of Msscribe imbuing her trolls with a number of super powers:
—Msscribe, like any troll would care that much about her wigger ass.
But no matter what physical impossibilities her trolls overcome, Msscribe is right on their ass anyways.
- I'm With You Killigan!
- Killigan is being respectful to everyone despite your blatant harrassment.
- This post also offends me.
- Anyone who writes smut and child porn DESERVES to be stalked in my opinion.
- I have your IP
- So don't even think about it.
- FUCKING QUEER :SOMEONE CAN'T EVEN VOICE ANYTHING DIFFERENT THAN YOU BEFORE YOU ALL START TELLING THEM TO SUCK YOUR DICKS. I WOULD POST MY LJ BUT I DON'T HAVE ONE AND I WASN'T GOING TO SAY ANTHIN BUT I COULDNT WATCH THIS HAPPEN ANYMORE WITHOUT SAYIN IT. FUCKING MAN FUCKER THAT YOU ARE. :JOSHUAJAMESON@YAHOO.COM IF YOU WANT TO KNOW ASSHOLE
- How many idiots don't know IP's are being traced. 22.214.171.124 Leave another post like that and I'll kick your ass.
The IP right there is from Anonymizer, something that Msscribe later admitted to using. The tl;dr flame war raged for days, killigan appearing on a Christian forum trying to drum up support. Though most of the people gave him a reasonable ultimatum, one dumbass fell for it. Msscribe was sooo happy to have an actual troll instead of the practice ones she made out of aids and fail that she accidentally tipped people off that all was not right in LJ…
- *How* do these people find you? Have you hoisted a "Big Name Sinner, Right Here" beacon above you LJ?
- It appears that way
- I guess you piss one of them off and the whole swarm comes after you
Yes, people were getting suspicious that she had so very many Christian trolls when all she had done was write some gay fapfiction, which they were all guilty of as well. Distraction tiem! Msscribe and Clarabella both posted this:
- killiganhashope, we know who you are.
Luckily her e-powers came through and she managed to trace his IP to an unpopular GT user, Runechild UK. However, when people tried to trace the IP it came up as an internal error. Msscribe covered her ass quickly(a miraculous feat) and hid the post.
Killigan of course never posted again, because he’d served his purpose. She had friended all the inner circle of FA and had legions of fans for her shitty fapfiction. However, Msscribe was not done with the draema, not by a long shot
Msscribe and the Trolling Website of Azkeban
May 24th, Msscribe created the website GT’s Hidden Room, to the consternation and supreme butthurt of all GT. The webmistress was another sockpuppet called hgempress, though Msscribe admitted herself that she created it. The userinfo had this lovely little bit of poetry:
To really ram the point home, all of the admins were parodies of GT admins. There was stolencocks instead of stolensocks, getlaidmarian instead of ladymaidmarian, etc. All of the posts were about how omg smut rox and geez, we cant get laid and its satire do you get it?! DO YOU GET IT!
Of course most of the admins were just more socks, with a small minority of FA mods who were all added without their knowledge, because communities at the time didn’t require that. Most of the posts were satirical and made to piss off GT as much as possible
- hgempress: Smutty Goodness
Welcome friends. I hope you enjoy your stay. Please remember that anything other than pervy goodness will be immediately flamed and destroyed. How about some H/G sodomy fics! Are there any out there? Would the little redhead squeal much
- oooh. painispleasureispain.
- May I just oogle your icon, please? *Reowr*
- And, uh, yeah, she'd squeal. But not in the good way.
GT responded with a torrent of butthurt, going to LJ Abuse but only managing to get one admin b&, which Msscribe promptly replaced. The snark went on for a while, but then all the maintainers were removed except for the main sock.
All this was merely a breeze compared to the storm on the horizon.
This Looks Shopped
According to the evidence, Msscribe had at least three internet accounts. A Comcast account, a telecom account, and an eduproxy account. She also used a randomizer in some places. You’d think that with all of those accounts she could’ve avoided capture, but perhaps she was just too lazy to assign an IP address to each troll, and counted on her fantards to buy into her bullshit explanations without thinking. Sadly, she was right. One guy even posted that the evidence showed that Msscribe was completely innocent, and everyone who saw that went “see? see?”
…except that the evidence they’re talking about actually indicated Msscribe even moar than the GT-er’s evidence. Not only that, it showed that both Msscribe and her troll used the same anonymizing service, and were assigned the same number within three hours. Also, neither pottersginny or fermatojam ever logged in from the universities Msscribe claimed they attended.
Nearly everyone who knew Msscribe had evidence that pointed to her being a sock hydra, but since no one liked the nasty-wasty GT, most just assumed they were liar5. Except for a few at SQ, Msscribe was surrounded by people who bought her bullshit completely. This resulted in a lot of posts ranting about how you could "spoof" IP adresses, and all this talk was slander! SLANDER SLANDER SALAMANDER! Praetorianguard was FA’s e-lawyer who threatened legal action if they didn’t back down. Msscribe claimed that GT admins were photoshopping the screencaps, and that she had airtight alibis for not being pottersginny and fermatojam. Funny thing about those alibis, though, is that Msscribe never posted exactly when the funeral took place, and Msscribe actually posted from her laptop about three days before fermatojam appeared. But of course, her hugbox was flooded with friends who had used their mighty photoshop skillz to make icons in support of her and declare her bravery:
—muffinbutt, FUCKING FIGHT the knifey creeps
Msscribe even started a minor meme that the GT admins were “roaches”, and people whipped up icons to go along with it. Msscribe was afloat in a sea of her own self-importance and her follower’s support. GT, who originally hoped the evidence would finally stop the h8ers, were constantly mocked by the other potterfags. The GT admins knew when they were licked, and decided to take it like a man. They got new icons, cokcroaches, just to show that they weren't bitter.
And then Msscribe gets made a mod at FA
E-penis: Thiiiiiiiiis Big
On June 9th, FA made Msscribe a mod as one of their other mods was stepping down due to catnarok. She promptly celebrated by bathing in the blood of her enemies, prompting another wave of butthurt from GT, who posted these absolutely true rules:
- How to Become a FA Mod in Eight Easy Steps
- Get a Live journal.
- Friend as many of the FA in crowd as you can.
- Post all sorts of hip and cool things. For example tell everyone how your toddler is experimenting with her sexuality by snogging other girls. You get extra points if you manage to insult conservative Christians in the process. Another thing you can post about is your lovely interest in esoteric things like Art History.
- If this fails to get everyone's attention, try inventing a pseud or two to cheer you on. They can tell everyone what a wonderful person you are, how you took them in when they were down to their last dime. Or get your other internet friends to post what a wonderful and modest person you are.
- If this still doesn't work, invent a few more pseuds to harrass you in the name of nutty Christians everywhere. Have them make a list of big name sinners in the fandom. Make sure the list includes you, and all the names of the FA in-crowd.
- Start something to make GT look bad. You're just the coolest in their eyes if you get into it with GT. Extra points if you can somehow bring stalking into it.
- By now everyone should know your name. You have got the undivided attention of those whose friendship you wanted to cultivate. Now it's time to whine about how horrible those H/G shippers are. How they're always starting trouble. It doesn't matter who really did start it because no one cares. They just want an excuse to bash GT.
- Sit back and wait. Relax. Do a little shopping. Make peace with your ass. Take a nice hot bath. You should become an FA mod any day now.
Msscribe merely laughed at this, pouring great quantities of wine down her gullet. Then she made plans to go to Nimbus 2000. There, she roomed with ol’ copypasta Cassandra Claire and the two had many an intellectual discussions. She gave the person in charge of security fermatojam’s real name, Lois Movello, and asked that she be protected from her nasty stalker ‘cause he said he’d go to Nimbus and he’s a real person see and she’s NOT MAKING THIS UP!!!!111oneone. On a fun note, googling Lois Movello and University of Dayton yields no results but people discussing how Msscribe is full of shit.
Since Msscribe was such a large presence, it was decided she would chair the upcoming sequel to Nimbus 2003, ‘’’’’The Witching Hour’’’: Squeeze ‘em for All They’ve Go’’t. And my, what a resume she provided! Bachelor's degrees and media relations, and she even work on Hillary Clinton's campaign!
Impressive…you know where this is going, don’t you?
Googling her full real name and any of these professions yielded no results. She was never a campaign consultant, however she did wish Hillary Clinton good luck. On a public message board.
As you probably expected, being an internet tough guy doesn’t work out so well irl. She had to lose some liability, and fast.
On August 8th, Watchful entity showed up on LJ. If indeed it was Msscribe, then she was finally getting smart. Watchful entity never posted on any LJ but his own, therefore no IP tracing, see? Though there is a .001% chance it wasn’t Msscribe, this article will continue with the assumption it was her.
Of course, since Msscribe’s entire circle of friends existed because she was such great troll-bait, they had the time of their lives. People were taunting the troll, posting long reasons why they didn’t care, and all around the sound of a fandom enjoying themselves. Watchful entity was deleted and restored many times, and people would create parody accounts like entity watcher and lame shit like that. When they found out that Watchful entity-surprise!-hated smut, they churned it out by the sticky ton.
Suddenly creating puppet accounts and trolling was cool to the potterfags, perhaps Msscribe was trying to make people believe she did it all for the lulz. But then Msscribe lost her favoritest scapegoat of all, Gryffindor Tower.
The admins had been fighting their own little bitch wars for some time, until finally everything fell apart in September 2003. Some of the admins were on the message board and decided to screw things up a little, with some help from some of the mods. The other admins not in on the joke took it as a threat and locked them out of the tower, taking away their admin and mod privileges. Butthurt, the fallen admins tried to change the password to the website, causing mass hysteria.
Eventually, after much taunting and butthurt, with both sides now vandalizing their own page, GT closed down for good. There was much lulz to be reaped from the proceedings, but the downside was that much of the evidence showing Msscribe to be pottersginny was lost in the flames.
Now, originally on fandom wank, Msscribe had a sock whose only job was to report what her enemies were up to with a “lol, check this” attitude. Since the pottersginny thing, too many people were sure she was on fandom wank, so she had to make another one. This one, she called Karma Bitch(lololololololololdoyougetit?). Karma Bitch, true to her name, acted like a total cunt and tried to play both sides of GT off each other, trying to snuggle up to the more butthurt ones to persuade them to narc on the others. But since people immediately caught on that she was Msscribe, she deleted a post connecting them and abandoned Karma Kunt for the time being.
Shit Gets Real
Great lulz were to be had at the beginning of March 2004. One of Msscribe’s butt buddies posted a smutfic containing the phrase “fuck me” and GT-er’s, even though it was in the shipping that they supported, didn’t like it, and posted that they thought so. It was wanking tiem for sporkify, and Msscribe could hop in to defend her friends without suspicion. On former GT-er ranted about it in her own journal, generally intending it as flame bait. She got a response–from anonymous agreeing with her. What’s the problem? The user who owned the journal compared anonymous’s IP’s with another GT admin and yes, it was Msscribe. The user responded:
Of course this didn’t help, but it led to a lovely example of trolling for sympathy, this response from Msscribe.
—Msscribe, trying way too hard.
Feel SORRIER for me you cunt! Of course, Msscribe would never publicly post the return stamps, or any evidence at all. 1.) because they didn’t exist and 2.) this whole rant, like
most’’all’’ of what Msscribe says, is complete and total bullshit. When a GT admin called her on said bullshit, wondering whether Clarabella was even real, Msscribe fired back that Clarabella so was real, she helped her wipe her ass when her entire body was crippled with drama!!!111 Also she cited that a few people had actually help phone conversations with Clarabella. Of course, actually producing the people who said they talked with her on the phone would’ve ended the argument, but that would’ve been all too simple. One of the investigators thought that the time seemed right to expose Msscribe. They replied to a post the FA admin heidi made about feudin’ in the fandom, trying to hint to her that something was amiss. Of course that didn’t work, because heidi asked the other FA mods and they said they weren’t sporkify! Why would they lie? …oh right.
When that didn’t work, she sent heidi an email of all her evidence, which heidi said she never received. The sixth time she sent it, heidi told her she’d get right on it. And then promptly sat on it forevar.
Msscribe heard at least part of this conversation, so sporkify immediately scrambled to prove he wasn’t Msscribe
—sporkify, not a sock I swear!
Yeah, those FA turds really bust my gut. I’m not sure about warnings and all on FA, ‘cause see, I don’t post there! I have to go do homework, geddit, I’m ‘’’not’’’ Msscribe! When that failed to completely convince everybody, she had to bust out another alibi, and just like the other two, this one wasn’t verifiable in the least. She claimed (I shit you not) to be sleeping on the side of I-95 at the time. She couldn’t be sporkify, she was asleep at the time!
Then Fandom Scruples made a post about the BNF’s getting together for the premier of Prisoner of Assgetbanged in NYC, posting just enough detail to let people know he’d been there.
—FS: I WAS THEIR BUT IM NOT MSSCRIBE!!11
He recognized them all, in person, despite never having met them. See? I was there at the show, but I wasn’t close enough to hear what she was screaming, lololololol I’m not Msscribe!
Anyone caught speaking the truth was immediately accused of R/H shipping and screamed at. One person ever held a poll to see which BNF was the most likely candidate. Msscribe got the most votes.
Since people were coming dangerously close to the truth yet again, Fandom Scruples became a pussy troll, and stopped posting anything that could be traced back to Msscribe. Fandom Scruples had also become boring, because something with much more lulz potential appeared. Politics.
Actually, three laptops: hers, her boyfriend’s, and her roommate’s. But being the biggest fanfic whore in a community has its perks, and heidi took up a collection to buy her new ones. She raised $2000 in about nine hours. Remember that figure, because it will only make what happens next funnier. In fact, so will these two tidbits: 1. there was money left over after she recouped her loss, and 2. They took money from people who gave the very last they had.
Of course, Msscribe had to make an appearance, butting in and defending her friends yet again. She also made it sound like she gave most of the money while poor fantards stuffed their measly fivers in CC’s sweaty g-string. Well, the wank was that people were willing to fork over whatever cash they had just so they wouldn’t have to write their own shitty fapfiction. Another user, sapphireisle, left a comment on heidi’s journal, pointing out the BNF’s roaring success in getting donations for a fucking laptop, whereas her mother was dying of cancer and people wouldn’t even pee on her if she was on fire.
This was ignored for the moment because there was a new meme: IP logging off and leaving comments of other people’s LJs. It degenerated into wank fairly quickly, quite a few image macros were got while the gettin’ was good. Some people took a picture Msscribe had friendslocked about her toddler and shopped in the words “I want to grow up to be a cunt just like my Mommy”. Since that’s just the sort of sick shit that makes a great excuse, that was probably Msscribe too. She
deleted her LJ changed her username to light music and made it so a strike would appear through her old username like it was baleeted. Just to throw people off, she made a “ leaving the fandom” speech:
—Msscribe, lay off her you jackals!
She then resigned as a mod for FA and the chair for the Witching Hour,
leaving the fandom hiding her massive bulk from the fans manning the harpoons. Fandom Scruples made a wank about Msscribe that no one even cared about.
But now we get back to charitywank, as it was called, and the pure lulz it entails. Sapphireisle’s mother was on LJ too, as Sapphsmum. She posted on a public post of heidi’s, where she was yet again giving herself a hand for her breast cancer charity work. Since Sapphsmum didn’t have breast cancer, there was no pink ribbon for her. She asked if heidi would help raise awareness of her cancer, since waaaaambulances are expensive. Heidi wouldn’t take on the project, but gave her some suggestions. Sapphsmum posted about it on her LJ, and heidi’s friends trolled the shit out of it. Msscribe(back from the dead) was noticeably merciless on her Jew:
—Msscribe, trolling the shit out of a cancer patient FTW.
It is delicious irony and you must eat it. But Msscribe, isn’t she not only ill but dying?
—Msscribe, holy shit that’s cold!
When someone told heidi about her friends flaming a dying woman’s journal, she basically told them she had no control over her fantards. They just wanted to set the record straight about heidi being a bitch. They succeeded. After more flammage, heidi finally reigned in her
friends raging cunts. Charitywank eventually had to be locked because of all the anonymous flames accusing Sapphsmum of lying about her cancer. A few even claimed to have contacted the mayo clinic and the attorney general’s office about 4Christina.org(Sapphsmum’s donation site), and both were completely unverifiable. The IP’s later gathered by the wankers confirm that they were, you guessed it, Msscribe.
—LJ user, won’t somebody pleeeease think of the children?
Charitywank caused several people to defriend Msscribe after finally seeing what a trolling bitch she was, but that was about it. Most of what Msscribe did from this point was post a lot of boring shit about her kids and squee about Harry Potter and the Half-Assed Sequel.
But the beast could not stay dead for long, and Msscribe had buttrage with some icons they were using over at fandomwank.
So who is Msscribe?
Fuck if I know. Pretty much everything she’s said has been proven to be a lie, so…wait, except- No, it’s all lies. From what we can gather, Msscribe could be a robot from the future, harvesting lulz as a source of energy for her dying race. Or she could just be a complete sociopath who went off her meds for a year. Or three. Like most of the people on the internet, she probably has no life. But, unlike most people, she feels the need to make up elaborate lies that really don’t impress anyone in the long run, and fall apart at the slightest investigation. Like her cousin, the many-headed Hydra of Lerna, Msscribe will keep popping up with more heads until someone takes the hint and sears them off at the neck…except for that one unkillable one. That one you bury underneath a rock.
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