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MuchoZucko

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ALERT: This group of despicable, morbidly obese losers is known for trying too hard.
MuchoZucko's mighty main page banner, measuring in at nearly 260px.


   
 
This week is shit.
 

 
 

El_Wanko, average MuchoZucko user, on a typical week of new content.

TL;DR? Here's MZ in a nutshell. (Anyone can submit their shit!)

MuchoZucko.com, alternatively known as MZ, or Mucho, (and formerly known as MuchoSucko) is a depraved internet community that congealed in a gutter sometime in 2003, as the brainchild of a Ukrainian Scott brown Canadian 4chan reject who uses the alias "Yak". His vision: when a person (or worse yet, a group) is too inexpressibly perverted to be accepted on /b/, their one timorous hope of retaining humanity is lodged deep within the fetid bowels of a website that specializes in pushing the definition of hideous. Therein lies the problem; as time has passed this reductio ad absurdum-style website has held absolutely nothing sacred, and as there is no proverbial "bar" set, there is no filtering of the shitty content (anyone can submit content) from the passable content - a process known as retardification. However, throughout the years, this community has grown, like a sore on the dickhole of life; persistent, festering - and has tenaciously struggled (semi-successfully) to live through more disasters and shit than ED itself.

In August of 2017, "MuchoSucko" unofficially closed its doors in a scenario that seemed all too familiar. More than half the community migrated to MuchoZucko.com, so named because they're basically Zucking the fuck out of the idea.


History[edit]

Bland Beginnings[edit]

MuchoSucko's inaugural formatting. Note the near-flawless use of cutting-edge technology.

MuchoSucko.com started off with pure intentions. Yak, MuchoSucko's creator and nerd of questionable ethnicity, originally intended his site to be for pretty cool guys. And indeed, it was - complete with exciting new categories such as Flash Games and Animation, truly setting it apart from the competition. At the time, NSFW content had not yet become the focus of the site, although it existed. MuchoSucko relied heavily on the habits of the casualfags of the internet, and their post-masturbation tendency to stop looking at porn for 5 minutes and start playing Pac-Man. For a time, this was a formula for success, and by 2004, it was seeing at least 100 unique visitors per month. At this time, users submitted content for consideration by the site staff, who had final say on what was published.

Porn Moneys[edit]

Soon after MS had established its footing, Yak made possibly the greatest business decision of all time. Due to woes with ad revenue, he did the exact opposite of what any fat Jew would do - he whored out his website with internet dating and porno advertisements, because it was better than the alternative of watching everything he had worked for turn into a vanilla-flavored shitstack.
A rare screenshot of the porn-addled MS homepage pre-2007. This example is tame.
Porn was on the main page, userpages, everywhere! He porned it up, he porned it out, he overporned! He couldn't have enough porn. This led to a change in MuchoSucko's approach to users. If MuchoSucko was going to have all this content on its main page that even ED isn't comfortable with having, it would need to attract the most vile, sordid pieces of amphibian shit the internet had to offer - and lots of them.

(Note: at this time users still had to submit content for consideration by the site staff, who had final say on what was published.)

Roots of the late-stage MuchoSucko[edit]

MuchoSucko founder, Yak, in deep thought.

As you may have gathered from the screencaps in this article, MuchoSucko was a sleazy hellscape that, when visited, left an indelible stench on your browser. It was full of sneaky pop-up windows and spyware, something that inhibits lulz for most users. This, coupled with the fact that Yak realized running a website doesn't count as a real job, led to MuchoSucko shutting down for approximately a year. However, the crafty webmaster had plans for a return; plans that would go on to form either:


  • A scheme that would put God's grand design to shame, causing the Almighty to collapse under the weight of failure and take a swig of shotgun mouthwash, sending the world into darkness.
  • Something that would only make sense in a meth addict's nightmares.

Turns out, a compromise was reached inside Yak's brain - thus resulting in the website you see today; a chaotic amalgam of gore, porn, cute animals, MySpace glitter graphics, and of course multiple re-posts of old George Carlin stand-up specials, submitted by the most smug, unfunny, and unoriginal users on the site in hopes of proving how smart they are by agreeing with everything he says.

Back Online and Into The Future[edit]

MuchoSucko's last desperate homepage is devoid of ads for users who donate.

With the triumphant return of MuchoSucko.com came the not-so-triumphant addition of a plethora of new features that turned the site into a tumor. There are now large, color-coated signs to "upvote" or "downvote" all content and comments, which intensifies the feelings of Unwarranted Self-Importance felt among users who try to score a bunch of "likes" with a witty pun. This has also led to the rise of memefags (even evident on the homepage), who, despite their peers' admonishment of retarded internet culture, continue to spout "u mad bro?" and "did he died?" on every violent or divisive video.

Perhaps the worst of all, users can currently submit whatever the fuck they want, at any time. Administrators no longer act as a filter for content, instead leaving the chance of a downvote, and subsequent damage of a user's "Mucho Rep", as the one element that is supposed to dissuade people from posting lame shit... Which of course has worked out great. Really.

The 2017 Purge, AKA Getting Zucked[edit]

This charming message greeted users who tried to load any page.
Quality content on the new Mucho, featuring OC from the shit-eating legend, Tom Pearl.


JUST KIDDING LOL!! After several years, the site owner, Yak, had grown bored and frustrated with the idea of doing work to earn money, and let the website slip into a state of decay. Staff left, site features broke, and traffic slowed to a crawl thanks to a new set of banner ads that were more invasive and virulent than what you'd find on even the seediest of porn sites.

In August of 2017, the entire website was whitepaged for several days after a handful of users were caught posting CP. And thus, the migration began to MuchoZucko.com - the new destination for the unemployed legions to surf.

Similarities & Differences with Chantards[edit]

Even their asses fuck their asses. (Actual content)

Much like modern day humans evolved from their predecessors, many Muchoers, as they proudly call themselves, are the remnants of losers that 4chan discarded long ago; and as a whole have morphed into something altogether different yet the same. Despite this, many Muchoers disdain faggots who spout memes, leading to self-destructive tendencies. Comparisons between Muchoers and /b/tards are constantly being made - here, are enumerated the most prominent.


+ Like anonymous, Muchoers have a penchant for tits and especially assrape - they have adopted the motto, "Tits or GTFO", and it is quite heavily-enforced. When a female is detected in the herd, most Muchoers repetitively squawk the slogan. When no tits are provided, some even go as far as initiating salacious bouts of verbal abuse and inconsequential IRL threats. After tits are shown, the group furiously masturbates and most interest in the female is lost. Everyone, regardless of gender, is encouraged to post naked pictures of their assholes, preferably with something inside to simulate assfucking. Signs are mandatory.

+ If there is one positive human characteristic that can be found on both 4chan and MZ, it is innovation. When people are uninhibited by the conventions of society, they are free to invent. For example, Muchoers discovered that a pink sock looks enough like a cock to fuck Goatse. Sauce.

+ Lurking doesn't count for shit, and members of the site will let you know.

+ Furthermore, despite the site's gruesome nature, adorable photos of kittens are always featured on the main page.

- Having said that, the stark contrasts between MuchoZucko and 4chan begin with the fact that MZ has become a stripped-down, whored-out social media site, complete with "like" and "dislike" buttons. There is absolutely no sense of altruism. Think Failbook/MySpace meet Ogrish.

- MuchoZucko's fail is topped off by the fact that instead of encouraging users to create content for græter good, they are given a number of "Mucho Rep" points, that are dependent upon the quantity and quality of their submissions; a vain attempt to persuade everyone who signs up to post as much inane shit as quickly as possible, so they can become a pro in the eyes of their peers.

- And because Muchoers care about their reputation, the comment sections are made up of nothing more than flocks of mindless fucking seagulls, all scrambling to be the first one to post a witty zinger that relates to the content. This is exacerbated by the fact that they are largely unfunny.


Recipes[edit]

MuchoZucko.com is also home to many connoisseurs of delicious food. A number of culinary masterpieces have been popularized on MuchoZucko.com, including but not limited to:

See Also[edit]

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Featured article September 1 & 2, 2017
Preceded by
Howard Dean
MuchoZucko Succeeded by
Keith Olbermann