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Muff and Mike, a savage journey to the heart of postpubescent schadenfreude.
Take a pair of exhibitionist imbeciles, add hormones, cork and shake. Stand back with loud report! Postpubescent schadenfreude has its roots in GLANDS or sexual abuse or the desire for same. Glandular disturbances are also responsible for obesity despite the laws of thermodynamics. Surprise sex by relatives and transients exacerbate gender confusion when the subject is unable to find or reach its exterior genitalia and can only masturbate by riding a horse or rocking on a bowling ball.
Nick, who calls himself (latchkey hags with a collective penis.), is a 20 yr old pre-alcoholic security guard with an AK47 who makes hate vids of youtube rivals, performs simulated sex with trees and their amputated limbs along with other delightfully amusing antics for a horde of tween-age basement-dwelling aspies while babbling about penises. Snakes and guns are his favorite simulacra but anything stiff and somewhat cylindrical satisfies. He reached the zenith of nanocelebrity when channel 4 covered his humiliation by the condo committee of fossilized, patchouli-drenched, purple-haired incontinent
—Muffdaddy2, To Anonymous
A message to Muffdaddy2
—Muffdaddy2, thinking Anonymous's name is Dave.
—Muffdaddy2, proving his Unwarranted_Self_Importance.
—Snakemannva, Muffy's lover coming to his aid.
—Muffdaddy2, thinks he made us famous.
Nick is the buttfag of Mike ( ), another beast with boobs who wears makeup, nipple clamps and begs jparker (a chat forum rival with whom he is obsessed) to 'fuck me soooo hard' for the sadomasochistic entertainment of the underage crowd. Mike says he owns several profitable pr0n sites on the side. He loves children and supports the youth by providing a chat room for his young fans. Mike lives in the woods and has a big box of duct tape and vaseline and he can borrow a van with tinted windows any time he likes.
Mike secretly hates Nick and laughs at him with his other buddies (on the forums where Nick is banned for being a moron) about how much IRL money he's been able to get Nick to put into his business, The Wheel of Butthurtness which specializes in live sex toys.
- Troll the SMBD family chatroom here: 
Speak No Evil!
—Ladybloodrose, Career Chat Moderator, Extreme Penis Chat
Ladybloodrose is on duty. She suckled at the tit of Judge Judy.
Rules for this chatroom:
—Mikey, Admin, Extreme Penis Chat
- Teh Legend
This larval Girlmecha lives in the vicinity of Withering Dugs, Arizona along the highway where one finds all those signs warning that hitch-hikers are escaped inmates. She stupefies her chat room with a constant barrage of dramabombz. (Give a naked mole rat mod powers and you put the hag in haggis.)
IRL she subsists on roadkill and those milk-jugs of recycled beer the truckers abandon when they stop to stretch their legs and she forages rest stops for used condoms and other protein sources.
<Emsee> i are been band for 5 days coz ladybloodrag (AKA ladybloodrose) has enforce a rule that u are not alowd to say words like penis and fuk and vage hole and scrote and clit and fanny and nizzle and cok and dik and shit and sex and all that jazz so i sed "that are bullshit u muther fuking bitch", then she are kiked me so i are make new acounts and then she bloked my ip from sighning in for 5 days lol
WHERE TEH FUCK DO YOU GET YOUR FACTS? THAT'S ALL FALSE AND MALICIOUS AND MEAN!
- Teh Troof
Celeste the Clowns Syndrome poser who lists her occupation as Chat Admin, meaning she's over 300 lbs. and her ass has fused with the chair. She bans anyone who interrupts her Carnival of Anguish (tm) over life's unfairness. She didn't ask to be born that way. All fat people are fat cuz of GLANDS which are genetic. That means you can't blame her for it because she had nothing to do with stuffing 17 tons of organic matter per annum into that insatiable maw. Morbid obesity is actually her greatest virtue. The more she can eat, the more of the universe she takes under her control and her ambition knows no bounds.is a low functioning
IRL, she is an oleaginous ecosystem whose sweaty folds conceal saprophytes, arthropods and a palimpsest of tattoo blunders. She lives in the backwoods of Jawjah with snakes, practices witchcraft, the sacrifice of small furry animals and raises penis wasps. When her baby tried to strangle himself in the womb, and the putative father fled to Huntington Beach, California after their only meeting, she turned to pcp and vanilla extract to repair her damaged psyche. That was also fail because she's not an aboriginal american. She is fully stump-trained and when not servicing the relatives and livestock, she enjoys lighthearted fun, like squashing ponies or carpet bowling. Barefoot waddles in the moonlight and diesel scented bubble baths are not the key to her heart- just bring fucking food. A 20 lb. cheddar dildo will make her yours.
Other examples of Schadenfreude:
- Masochists fighting over a stick.
- Sadists fighting over a masochist.
- Bindi Irwin getting raped by a stingray.
- Iranian womens' synchronized swim team trials.
Muffdaddy2 is part of a series on YouTube.