Mumsnet

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Mumsnet is a Britcentric discussion forum literally teeming with militant feminazi man-hating lesbians.

The MN logo. The fact that it's a "amusing" rip-off of 70s TV crapola "Charlie's Angels" gives you some idea of the average age of the shrivelled cunts possessed by the site's users

As such, it is therefore fruit right ripe for the plucking by any brave warrior who dare venture therein.

The name is a relic of pre-equality legislation times, when only dykes who had accidentally sprogged were allowed to participate, swapping tips about the best way to bring up their children to be homosexual (once they had finished abusing them because they were too old).

However, these days the site reluctantly has to allow (GASP!) men to participate. And they do not at all discriminate against the few male posters by banning them disproportionately. Oh, no, no way.

The demented harpies that mill aimlessly around spoiling for a passive-aggressive bitchfest or a spot of "Keeping up with the Joneses" are such ardent troll hunters that the forum actually has a "No troll-hunting" policy. Needless to say, this is ignored whenever the moderators have a blob on or are otherwise distracted (perhaps by the thought of dressing up dollies or somesuch).

However, this supposed strength is their greatest weakness and offers the irresistible challenge of applying Sun-Tzu's maxim about the best victory being attained without fighting, by trolling without being seen to troll by anyone except the person you're talking to, in order to provoke a troll-hunting reaction from them so that you can report them to the moderators.

They proudly refer to themselves as "The Nest Of Vipers", when they are in reality nothing but a bunch of gossipy concerned mothers with not enough housework to keep them occupied, the poor, deluded fluffy-headed darlings.

The moderators (who think in Web 0.1 terms), on the other hand, would like to think that MN is like this when it's more often like this.

This paradox remains unresolved.

A Freudian writes: "The self-applied label of "Nest of vipers" is a clear totem of female empowerment, referring as it does to the snaky locks of the dreaded Medusa, the ancient patriarchal world's personification of the Vagina Dentata."

Key features[edit]

  • A shit one-off webcrossing type model that doesn't allow you to preview, edit or delete your posts. Think twice before you press that button. The slightest slip might betray you.
  • A private message system by which you can stealth troll, sending bitchy comments about other posters and generally swaying the easily-impressionable female mind with poisonous doubts about their online 'friends'.

"Am I Being Unreasonable?"[edit]

Yes, YABU

Otherwise known as "AIBU", this is the folder in which the action is to be found. There is nothing that wimminz like better than a chance to bitch and rage and generally have a tantrum at complete strangers, safe behind their computer screen. If you enter this folder, you are asking for it.

Trolling methods[edit]

Anything that exploits the wimminz natural deficiencies. They refer to "multi-tasking". We men call the opposite "concentration." Their "brains" are not up to focussing on anything for very long, and so they can easily be thrown into confusion by any technique that subverts their expectations. Needless to say, they have a very limited repertoire of stock responses and a good troll will pre-empt these and thereby render them ridiculous.

Examples:

  • Start an AIBU thread with a completely outrageous scenario and a completely pathetic (fictional) reaction, then ask "AIBU?". The womyn will be all like "You need to grow a pair!" etc. Act as though you haven't heard them, and just keep reiterating the same scenario from different angles. See how long you can keep them going.
  • Start a thread with a vague premise, then "drip-feed" further info as the thread develops. "Drip-feeding" drives them into paroxysms of rage. Apologise for drip-feeding. Then continue to drip-feed. (Extra points if you can manage to completely change the essence of your initial post every few "drips").
  • Pick someone who is BU or isn't BU, and then either defend them to the hilt or attack them without mercy.
  • Start an outrageously boastful thread (such as: "My gardener refuses to climb my Banyan Tree to prune its upper foliage, because he thinks that a 30 foot ladder might not reach the top of the conservatory. I say that I pay him £300 an hour to perform and he should get on with it. AIBU?"). "Drip-feed" further details of your extravagant lifestyle. This will draw forth accusations of "stealth boasting" from the assorted green-eyed monsters who are stuck in their shitty council semis with five squalling fucktrophies to feed out of £27 a week benefits. Once you have their attention, proceed to do the same every other time you post on any thread at all.
  • Post "LTB!" ("Leave the bastard!") in any relationship-related thread. You don't need to explain why, because the other poster will leap in to explain why she shouldn't LTB, and you can take it from there. This works especially well if you can twist the "bastard's" totally reasonable behaviour so that it seems hugely passive-aggressive (e.g., "He brought you flowers? LTB! He's trying to bribe his way into your bed!")
Charlie himself is having a beer in front of the TV while the chicks do all the work. This demonstrates Mumsnet's unconscious submission to the partriarchy
  • Post "Call the police!" if anyone is having any problem whatsoever. Fuse blown on your kettle? Pigeons using your birdbath? Vending machine swallowed your change? Fear not: The police are on hand 24/7 to help YOU! Seriously -- Mumsnetters are so utterly retarded that (a) They think this is genuinely useful advice and (b) They will actually do it. Award yourself extra points if the resulting call ends up being published in one of those newspaper round-ups of unbelievably fuckwitted 999 calls.
  • If any even faintly unusual behaviour is described, perform an instant e-diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome or Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Viewed through the mumsnet groupthink prism, if you are not completely normal then you have either or both of these conditions. Come out with some waffly bullshit by way of explanation/analysis. They don't know what they're talking about either.
  • Despite it being the supposed domain of stand-up comedians from the 1960s and 70s, threads about Mothers-in-Law (MILs) always produce a roiling cauldron of pent-up fury and hatred. Mumsnetters, however, are not self-aware enough to realise that they are unconsciously competing with their partner's mother for the attention of the partner. Such psychodramas usually take on frighteningly symbolic proportions, which you can then analyse.
  • If it's not MILs then it's "Toxic Parents". The growing field of "misery lit" has inspired everyone and her sister to think that their perfectly normal self-doubt and fear while growing up was in fact a terribly abusive childhood and only now that they are fat, fifty and frustrated do Mumsnetters realise that it was their parents' fault all along. Phew! No risk of having to do any, you know, taking responsibility or anything like that! Such monstrous parents (nearly always mothers, for some strange reason) are nearly always e-diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (and referred to as "Narcs") at the slightest excuse. OTOH, there are some truly lulzworthy tales of child abuse to be had and raw and tender emotions to be played with by the sadistic stealth troller.

The moar you lurk, the subtler your powers to cause dismay and disarray will become.

"Infinite lives" poke[edit]

Pretend to be a woman-hating man. Hell, actually be a woman-hating man. Despite their fancied prowess at troll-hunting, there is no stupid behaviour on God's green Earth that these harridans will think too ridiculous for a man to exhibit. Faced with prima facie trolling they simply fail to recognise it. This demonstrates yet again, if proof be need be, that woman is simply not fit to take on responsibility in a man's world.

Bonus score method[edit]

Start a meme that ends up in the UK's national press.

This is money for old wank, as literally half the journalists in Britain lurk on mumsnet waiting to smash and grab a promising in-joke before flogging it to death in print the next day.

This is because MN has 10,000,000 visitors and 60,000,000 page views per month and so it counts as a sort of local news service for the internet -- and everyone likes to read about themselves and their acquaintances, right?

Examples include the pathetically unfunny "Penis beaker" saga in which one poster claimed her DH washed his wanger in said receptacle after marital ghastliness.

This notion might amuse an easily-distracted retard for up to ten seconds, but it kept mumsnet busy for a week and ended up filling page leads in several national papers -- see here, here, here and here oh and obviously including the Daily Mail (here), with which Mumsnet has a co-dependent love/hate relationship.

The very real possibility exists that the entire debacle was a trolling exercise by a journalist looking for a story, that was unexpectedly successful. In view of the widespread press coverage it garnered, the further possibility exists that more than half the users who posted on that thread were other journalists who thought they had spotted an IRL story.

Mega super ultra bonus score[edit]

"Who ordered the pepperoni?"

11 August 2015 was a day that will live in infamy. Within the space of a few hours, Mumsnet was DoS-ed, haxxed, phished, and Swatted by a legendary team called "DadSecurity". Mumsnet founder Justine Roberts lamented: "Our servers were bombarded with requests, which required our internet service provider to massively increase server capacity to cope. We were able to restore the site at 10am on Wednesday 12 August. " During the raep, Mumsnet received about 17,000 requests per second (normally 50 - 100 p/s). Ms Roberts added: "Later on 12 August, it became apparent that someone/ones had hacked into some of Mumsnet's administrative functions, at which point they were able to redirect our homepage to the @DadSecurity Twitter profile page, as well as to edit posts from two users' account (sic) and an MNHQ account on our forums."

And there's more. In the early hours of 11 August a Police SWAT team burst into the luxurious Islington home that Justine Roberts shares with Jew husband Ian Katz, the police explaining later that this was "following a report that a man had murdered a woman at the address," shortly followed by "a second call during which the caller stated he had members of his family held in a room." Sadly, Mr and Mrs Katz were both on holiday at the time.

But Mrs Katz couldn't resist bigging it up some more, claiming that no, someone from Mumsnet really had ttlly srsly been Swatted for real. She said that the second case occurred after a Mumsnet user had received a tweet saying "prepare to be swatted" alongside a picture of a Swat team. When the police arrived, she added, they initially handcuffed the husband. Mrs Katz said: "The [hoax] report had said they had heard gunshots and identified a man as shooting in the house. It's incredibly disturbing and not surprising that that user and her family were very upset."

The Mumsnet user has never been identified and the police have never commented on this claim. Which means it's bullshit and exactly the sort of violation-fantasy that the attention-whoring Jewess Mrs Katz, like so many of her kind, cannot resist indulging in.

A smörgåsbord of retardery[edit]

Sample Mumsnet threads to whet your palate.

Typical MN user in its natural habitat


   
 
Have you ever been to encyclopedia dramatica?...

DON'T GO THERE

It is a hive of misogyny and male terrorism They even have an article on us! (which reads like a rapist's diary)
 


 
 

How does she know what a rapist's diary looks like? (Archive today-ico.png 1 Wayback Machine Favicon.jpg 2)


   
 
Something which has been playing on my mind for a couple of weeks and does seem sort of relevant to this thread is a website that I came across while googling the impact of rape (after a comment on the We Believe You thread). I came across a site called Encyclopedia of Dramatica and this page which was just foul. It was set up like a wikipedia page and was promoting rape and sexual violence in a truely stomach churning manner. Does anyone on here know how getting it taken down would work?
 

 
 

Fuck yea (Archive today-ico.png 1 Wayback Machine Favicon.jpg 2)

See also[edit]

External links[edit]

Not to be confused with[edit]

Netmums, an inferior hunting ground for the would-be troll because the posters are mainly US women and as such tend to know their rightful place is on their backs making babies or over the stove making dinner.


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