Not to be confused with: Terrorism (but definitely to be associated with it)
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Islam (better known as Terrorism, Pisslam, Jizzlam, Fascislam, Nazislam, Shitlam, I-scam, Muhammad Is Lam-E, iSlam-my-head-on-the-ground, Kebab, Goat Rape, Durka Durka Muhammad Jihad, Suicide Bombing, and Fucking Bullshit) is a Dark Age cult followed by butthurt dirty, smelly sand niggers as well as sweaty, stinky, angry shore niggers who have absolutely no fucking idea of how to fit into the 8th century, let alone the 21st century. These sand niggers who are retarded enough to follow Islam and live in the sweltering wasteland known as the Middle East, are called Muslims a.k.a. Terrorists, Muz, Muzzies, Muztards, Mohammedans, Sandniggers, Oil Niggers, Haji's, Goat fuckers, Jew eradicators, Durka Durkas, Sand eaters, Anti-French, Anti-Semitic bastards, Pedophiles, Wannabe Nazis, Camel jockeys, Dune coons, False caucazoids, Foaming rags, Muzlamic freakazoids, Koranimals, and The Kebab. They are easily offended when you say something bad about their mental condition, and are very prone to exploding if not raping your white liberal and/or conservative wife so be careful around them. As Urban Dictionary says, once you hear the word "Allahu Akbar" you should Run the Fuck Away.
Living in the East, located at the scorching tropical hellhole known as the Malay Archipelago are the coastal and tropical shore nigger followers, more Muslims. They are known as Muzzies, Muzzahs, MacDonald House bombers, Coastal coons, CP smugglers, Orangutan rapists, Komodo klan islanders, Terrorists, False mongoloids, Second-grade Nazis, Anti-Chinese, Asian Arabs, Christian incinerators, Jew destroyers, Palm Oil Niggers, Tropical ragheads, Quranimals, and the Koastal Kebab. Just like their desert counterparts, they are easily offended and will go crazy and reenact Rise of the Planet of the Apes when they are angered. A common myth among Westerners is that Indonesians and Malays are far more tolerant than the Allah-fearing fuckwads in the deserts but the truth is that shore niggers are only slightly better than their sandnigger counterparts, but are still equally murderous and violent. If you don't believe us, check out our external links below, 3 Christian girls were beheaded in Indonesia as trophies for Ramadan.
Liberals claim that "Islam" is Arabic for "Peace" and therefore Islam literally means the "Religion of Peace" (even conservatives such as W believe this) when in fact this is all wrong. Islam is directly translated to "submission", that is to the will of God. it just happened that the arabic word "Islam" sounded like "al-salaam" which is the actual word for Peace, but for retarded liberals they sounded the same and therefore just as good. This means that they have to stand towards Mecca, kneel their head into the earth and point their arse to the sky. Then they must scream "Allahu ahkbar!" and explode on the nearest Jew, Christian or Atheist, so that they can go to Heaven and be rewarded with 72 virgin Goats. Islam is a scam was created by a psychopathic paedophile "prophet" Muhammad (piss be upon him) (born April 20, 571), yet another guy who heard voices in his head.
These voices told Mohammed (Piss be upon him) that his religion was a continuation of Judaism and Christianity and that those who followed these outdated religions should be converted or killed. Since he forgot about Zoroastrianism, he apparently thought that his religion was the third and final in the monotheistic trilogy. And being the third, it is inevitably the most shitty of the three (think Spiderman 3, The Matrix Revolutions or The Godfather III). However, the truth is that, as you would see in the Hajj pilgrimage on Mecca with everyone kissing the "black stone" that Muhammad supposedly found, Islam is truly about the worship of an alien meteorite that crashed in this world which just happened to be found by Abraham/Jesus/Muhammad. Lesson learned: Do not follow a religion created by a sociopathic pedophile after he found a meteor.
Sandynigger terrorists follow a magical book called The Koran, which is a slightly less lengthy version of the Holly Babble. The only difference is that it contains a somewhat more descriptive account of the Muslims' annihilation of those infidels who dared to practice peaceful religions, somewhat more child rape (which is not rape, since it's not prohibited) primarily on the part of known pedophile Muhammad. Islam (pronounced moose-limb) is also distinct from Christianity and Judaism because it has a system of mind control known as the so-called "Five Pillars"- rape, murder, slavery, pedophilia and goatfucking. All of which are considered obligatory for all Muslims because, let's face it, it's easier to take advantage of racially inferior Niggers, Street Shitters, Austronesians and Arabs when they pound their head into the earth five times a day and don't eat for an entire month.
Islam is a cult in which people are stoned for independent thought, being a homosexual, not covering their whole bodies (women), not wearing pajamas (men), masturbating, eating, drinking, breathing, watching TV, sleeping, reading, having fun, etc. On the other hand, it is successful in telling women to gb2 kitchen. This religion has invaded many countries all of which are run by sick fuck Muslim fanatics who spend all day reading the Queer'An. Islam currently oppresses approximately 1.5 billion Muslims, all of whom have a nasty habit of migrating to, and raping to death, Europe. Islam specialized in male suicide bombers. They are promised 72 virgins for their saintly death fighting the infidels. When vast majority of them arrives to hell, to their surprise they are given 72 male virgins who will rape 'em throughout eternity.
All women and children (called moving black objects because they dress like garbage bags) from these Muslim countries are either sold as sex slaves or sent to The UK and US to blow people up (but not if we blow them up first!). The men can marry numerous women, hence you can often stop a Muslim man with an infidel woman and Muslim women who attempt going out of kitchen is stoned to death for adultery.
Not only are Muslims terrorists and rapists, they are pedophiles who marry eight year old girls. CP Trafficking is a legal, high-profit business amongst sand niggers, surpassed only by their Catholic arch-rivals. Any Muslim girl can get raped at any age, because consent is always implied even if it is not necessary. Muhammad married a 6-year-old girl and had sex with her when she was nine.
However, Islam may well be an honest continuation of God's word - that is, if God is a giant asshat. Whether by suicide bomb or an heroic child rape plus murder spree, through making threatening phone calls or through biological, chemical, and/or nuclear terrorism, Islam is well-situated to trolling humanity to certain death.
Nevertheless, in one of the most raeg-inducing instances of logic fails ever, Islam is also loved by liberals everywhere because it's "exotic", and that tickles their twats, even when Islam is the complete and total opposite of everything liberalism stands for. However it doesn't matter because we all know liberals are masochists who have zero comprehension of logic and are enjoying the rape anyway: just ask Angela Merkel or anyone from Sweden.
- 1 Five Pillars of Islam
- 2 What Islam Stands For
- 3 Muhammad's "to do" list, c500AD
- 4 How to be Muslim in easy steps
- 5 History of The Religion of Peace and Tolerance™
- 6 Islamic Beliefs
- 7 Muslims: The Ultimate Moralfags
- 8 LOLJIHADU
- 9 Trolling Muslims
- 10 Myths About Islam
- 11 Idiotic Islamic Antics
- 12 Islam: How To Deal With It
- 13 Islamic Culture
- 14 Islam In Modern Society
- 15 Islamic Media
- 16 Music
- 17 See Also
- 18 External Links
Five Pillars of Islam
- Recognize Allah as the only God of the universe.
- Recognize Muhammad (a philandering fucking gigolo, war-monger-er, pedophile rapist and social outcast with a severe case of Ass Burgers) as his last prophet.
- Pray five times a day to Allah by bashing your head into the ground (causing mental retardation) and jamming your arse into someone else's face like a cow in heat.
- Blow something up, kill both yourself together with a lot of non-Muslims, or if you are a woman, pop out 8 more sand-nigglings while only being barely able to feed yourself.
- Go to Mecca and worship a black meteorite apparently sent by Allah.
What Islam Stands For
- I - Intolerance.
- S - Slavery.
- L - Lies.
- A - Anti-intellectualism.
- M - Murder.
Muhammad's "to do" list, c500AD
- Raep teh loli
- Hide in cave
- Eat hash
- Make Bad Fanfiction
How to be Muslim in easy steps
- Be a liberal who hates Western democracy but embraces capitalism
- Eat Döner Kebab
- Smash your head onto the floor
- Rape a goat
- Rape a loli
- Rape a Swedish woman (or any European woman)
- Burn a Fag
- Strap a bomb to yourself
- Find the nearest Jew/Christian/Atheist/French/Dutch person that insulted your prophet
- ALLAHU AKBAR
- 72 VIRGINS!!!
History of The Religion of Peace and Tolerance™
Islam was created when a notorious pedophile rapist criminal autistic from Mecca named Muhammad was fleeing from Quraysh police when he was exposed by Ancient Chris Hansen as the head of a massive Child Prostitution Industry (This was why Muhammad hates having images of himself, because it reminded him of a WANTED poster). While hiding in a cave and starving due to deprivation from child sex, he somehow discovered Fanfiction.net and had the bright idea of entertaining himself by plagiarising a famous novel created by Jews known as the Bible. Like most bad fanfiction, he couldn't resist massive Canon Rape, putting overpowered idealized self-inserts of himself being pals with Jesus who will inevitably join into Muhammad's myriad world of psychotic fetishes such as raep, child raep, oppression, repression, necrophilia, genocide, mutilation, S&M, misogyny, baby fuck, Suicide Porn and the mass slaughter, torture and genocide of anyone he doesn't personally like, especially "infidels", a fancy Arabic way of saying gay people.
Solitary isolation in his cave combined with reading too much bad fanfic eventually took a toll on his sanity and multiplied his autism by a millionfold; he became unable to discern fiction from reality like a sandnigger version of Chris-chan and was convinced that a higher power was urging him to publish his badly plagiarised story known as the Quran for the entire world to read so that he can go to Heaven and rape 72 Waifus. Proud of his literary masterpiece, Muhammad went to Medina, a Jewish city, and attempted to seek sponsorship from the rich Jews there to publish his work but once the Jews realised that this was fucking copypasted they sued Muhammad for Copyright Infringement and permabanned him from Judaism forever... still, due to his Unwarranted Self-Importance, Muhammad never learned his lesson. Like Chris-chan putting his archenemy Mary Lee Walsh in his fanfic as the primary villain, Muhammad instead blamed the Jews for all the butthurt he suffered in his failure of a life and cast them as the primary villains of the story who want to troll him into being forever alone and prevent him in his Love Quest, explaining why such a blatant ripoff of Judaism had become so full of Mein-Kampf-level anti-semitism from then on.
One may expect such bad fanfiction to fail and should have been lost forever in the annals of history, but, like the Internet today, it created so much drama that it quickly became the centre of attention especially in the boring desert life of the sand niggers. Numerous goat-fucking social outcasts took pity on the aspie and, in a shitstorm that can today be only observed on 4chan and Tumblr, overran Medina's Jewish demographic with forced memes such as "MUH JIHAD" and "MUH GOATS" until they gassed the kikes to death by the sheer lethality of their combined goatshit B.O. After Medina was burned to be Jew free, Muhammad turned his attention to his other archenemy: the ruling Quraysh of Mecca who trolled him in the past. The Hijra, the start of the Muslim Calendar, was perhaps the greatest moment of Mass Sperging in Ancient History, as Muhammad and his legions of butthurt furries burned and pillaged Mecca, smashed its idols, tortured and executed the Quraysh, and had complete free time with all the women, children and of course the goats. Completing his conquest he placed his own equivalent of a Sonichu medallion (which he claimed was a meteorite) onto Mecca's central house of worship, the Kaaba, and from now on made everybody in his community submit to it forever by smashing their head into the ground to make their brains get temporary Autism in emulation of Muhammad's. Thus Islam was born, and so we learn a lesson: Fanfiction Will Definitely Ruin Your Life.
As Islam spread across the Middle East after Muhammad's death (piss be upon him), many sand niggers decided to go on Jihads to far-flung regions of the world to promote their ridiculous, regressive tradition of Anti-Feminism and Goat Fucking to equally racially inferior and disgusting subhumans created by God to punish the East Asians, White Devils and Kike Serpents for falling from grace with him. The first group of Jihadists started the second Caliphate and conquered a small chunk of North Africa, the entire Middle East and parts of Central Asia. Muslim pathfinders living in present-day Saudi Arabia went on a odyssey across plateaus and mountains and taught some Indians Islam (200 million added). Some pathfinders went to other places like Pakistan and Bangladesh and preached Islam (344 million added). Muslim raiders attempted to mass-convert Europeans but were stopped by the Christians (YAY!).
Centuries later, members of the 3rd Caliphate consisted of a bunch of sand nigger merchants who built a shitty raft in search of more stupid idiots on convert to Islam, these sand niggers visited the Malay Archipelago and taught the shore niggers the values of Islam (265 million added). The Muslims, having lost countless battles to the White Devil and Yellow Peril, marched southwards to Apefreaka and made 242 black African niggers Muslims. As these subhumans learnt the ways of Islam, they went on mass rampages and riots, brutally killing Christians, Hindus, Buddhists, Niggers and of course, the Jews (10 million Buddhists bludgeoned, 60 million Christians incinerated, 80 million Hindus dotbusted, 150 million Black Niggers enslaved, and 270 MILLION JEWS ANNIHILATED!!!1) destroying anything not of Islamic architecture, burning drawings and cartoonists and definitely mass-raping women, children, goats, sheep, chickens, ducks, turkeys, orangutans, chimpanzees, bonobos, donkeys, camels, cows and horses. God may have killed 10 million, but Allah and his "messenger" MuhamMAD killed hundreds of millions!
As the Muslim population grew and grew, they formed the Muslim Commonwealths: The Middle East, North Africa, The Malay Archipelago and the South Asian Stans and all 4 commonwealths and their subhuman inhabitants took it onto themselves to make Islam dominate the world. Firstly, the Middle Easterners, OR Arabs (Sand Niggers) decided to do an early rendition of Planet of the Apes and started exterminating the large Jewish populations in their strongholds which have grown to great sizes. They went insane and started beheading, slaughtering and gassing the Jews in their JIHADIC FURY and stole all the women, children and always, the goats. Afghanistan was once a peaceful Buddhist country, but these Muslims killed 10 million of them and forced the rest to CONVERT OR DIE! The Malay Archipelago, home to the Malays, Indonesians, Darusallems, Javanese and OVER 9000 inbred ethnic groups (Shore Niggers), was a little late, but they exterminated 3 MILLION JEWISH CHINESE COMMMUNISTS, wiped out 4 million infidels with a famine and an estimated 20 million infidels were eradicated. The rivers turned red, just like the blood of the infidels in all 4 shitty-ass commonwealths. Idols were smashed, synagogues, temples, churches and monasteries were burnt and razed to the ground, infidels were eradicated, goats were raped and after the Commonwealths were all burnt and turned into scorching wastelands and an estimated 270 MILLION Jews were eradicated by Muslims. After several coordinated attacks on the last remaining Jewish strongholds in the Promised Land, the Jews were reduced to a pathetic 350 and were forced to interbreed with Slavic scum and East Asians, but were still inbred.
As the Muslims rampaged and rioted, the Jews were forced to GTFO of the Middle East and they fled to the lush forests of Europe. The Jews later overstayed their welcome by being smartasses and conmen and were banished to the snowy, barren wastelands of Eastern Europe. Later, Hitler based his Nazi ideology on Islam and starts World War 2, killing millions and a third of the Jewish population. Reports state that if it weren't for Muhammad, the Jews would be at numbers of 400 million. Maybe Muhammad wasn't so bad after all. Never mind, we made a joke: Why did the Muslim cross the road... To get to the genocide. Rumors have it that the Muslims are plotting a 4th Caliphate to destroy Europe once and for all and will create suffering on an unimaginable scale... Oh wait! THE EUROPEAN RAPEFUGEE CRISIS! See more by clicking here.
However, modern Islam has moved past these hateful traditions. It now preaches tolerance, love and turning the other cheek. It disapproves of lashing out at so-called "infidels", not even when it comes to the Israeli occupation of Palestine.
Varieties of Islam
Early on, Islam suffered a schism in much the same way that Christianity and 4chan did; Islam is now divided into Sunnis (pronounced "Shitnies"), who believe something stupid, and Shi'ites (pronounced "Shittykes"), who believe something that's stupid in a slightly different way and who mostly live in Iran. This all dates back to an edit war on Wikipedia sometime in the 7th century, regarding whether Ali was notable enough to include in the article. According to Sunni Islamists, Shi`ites aren't thorough Muslims, as they are controlled by Jews. The third kind of Islam is Sufism and the Muslims who follow it are Sufists (pronounced "Shitfits") which pulls together the pseudo-profundity of Buddhism and the obsessive compulsive disorders and unwarranted self importance of Islam to add yet more items to the long-list of things that annoy Muslims.
Golden Age of Islam
Even in the Middle East, history has nearly forgotten that Islam once had a Golden Age when they were millennia ahead of the batshit crazy God-fearing fucktards of Europe, until a necromancer named Wahhabi cast an evil spell on them that sent all their mojo out of Ottomanland forever. They didn't just drink wine, they bred some of the finest kif (that's pot, you moron) and used opium and atropine to get people so thoroughly fucked up they'd allow mad medieval scientists to do cataract surgery on them. They invented missiles, torpedoes, and manned rockets, ultimately culminating in the flying carpet, which was just the shit until the Wahhabis stole them all and flew them into buildings to put those druggie Sufi unbelievers back in their place. In reality every great country touched by Islam went backwards, including India, Iran, and Afghanistan.
Muslim world had greatly contributed to humanity. Muslims invented Islamic banking, where 2% of profit goes to terrorists, large oil reserves, sex with goats and al-cohol distillation.
Muslims are a funny type of people similar to Jawas, except that unlike the enlightened Jawas they live according to a ridiculous, regressive religious tradition. Although many of them feel it gives their meaningless lives some purpose, all it clearly does is prove how intellectually disabled they are.
It has been postulated that people convert to Islam because they are totally incapable of running their own lives and miss the good old days in the hugbox with mommy and daddy running their shit with an iron fist and a lot of rules. The majority of Muslims believe the world is against them and feel that their way of living is the only way. In their free time they like fapping to the Koran, making bombs, beating their wives, shooting shit with ridiculously out of date guns and killing as many infidels as possible.
Since Muslims cannot eat pork, have sex, drink, do drugs, freely express themselves, or have any fun whatsoever, they are left alone to think of plans to bring vengeance upon the infidels. In fact, Muslims invented fencing (the art of poking people with long, stiff sticks) as a way to release sexual energy, because the women are practically ghosts, in many ways, with a large exception of being able to be physically pwned.
Arabs and Austronesians are tops at social skills, so beware, Muslims can ask you to donate to orphans, but then send money to terrorist families.
Muslims must pray an excessive amount of the time to Allah because he's such a huge attention whore: “I have created not the jinn and men except that they should worship Me" (somewhere in the Qur'an - Chapter 51, verse 56 to be exact]. In other words, Allah was an attention whore BEFORE attention was invented.) He then created the Universe and us so that we could talk to him 27 times day, just to tell him that he's a pretty cool guy. It's basically like having your mom calling you on your cellphone every hour of the day. They often use their religion's prayer time as a way of getting special treatment, the likes of which followers of other religions (religions which don't fly planes in to buildings) would never get.
Musfags carry ceremonial bombs strapped to their chests as commanded by Allah. Another example of this would be Muslim students expecting their courses at university to be moved to another day during Muslim holidays, all so they can recite religious gibberish in their chattering monkey accents for an unknown amount of time.
Muslims have many hobbies and they love reading the Quran all day, buttsecks and more. They recite religious bullshit all the time and shove their godawful religion down the throats of everyone they meet. They are also weapons experts and manufacture outdated explosives, though they have been known to use more modern forms such as hand grenades. When approaching a Muslim, try to get away as fast as possible before he/she, wait! Who are we kidding, Muslim men and women are barely distinguishable and they are extremely hairy and smelly!
Muslims believe we will accept their dominance because they think they are the chosen ones. Their Qu'ran tells them they are superior to non-Muslims. Yet the irony is they have low IQs in the 70 percentile putting them on the level of the mentally retarded. The only so-called smart Muslims, the Malaysians, Qataris and Kuwaitis number at only 5% of the Muslims. Most Muslims, especially the Somali are on the 60-65. One third of their children are born with birth defects from all their inbreeding since the 6th century. The professionals claim their genes are now permanently damaged. 75% of Indonesian kids are unable to understand a super-simple maths question even a 6-year old Jewish/Chinese/Japanese aspie could do, meaning they are mentally retarded and Pakistan inbreeding have caused alien-like heads! Incest is a prime example on how retarded, regressive and unbelievably stupid Muslims are, along with dog-hatred, alcohol bans, raging over some Lego set, hot dogs having the word 'dog' in their name, Jews being rich and extreme butthurt OVER A FUCKING 9/11 MEMORIAL PHRASE!
- Riding through the desert on camels
- Raping each of their four wives (who were originally enslaved war booty)
- Raping animals, especially goats, orangutans, chimpanzees, chickens and sheep.
- Raping feminists, especially the Swedish ones (because Swedes only wear bikinis while going to work, and according to arab Logic it means they have God's sanction to rape them to death)
- Burning American flags, Israeli flags, Homosexuals, the French (who are the same as homosexuals), Journalists (and there is 100% probability the said journalist is a French faggot) and Burning Jews.
- Incinerating Christians
- Goat Fucking
- Almost burning a couple of Jewish satirists
- Eating Döner Kebab (made from the aforementioned burned fags/French/Jews)
- Getting severe Diarrhea from eating Döner Kebab (srsly, if you don't want your digestive system to turn into a nuclear bomb, eat a taco instead)
- Operating Child Prostitution rings for their Jewish friends to keep these Zionists happy and satisfied.
- Profiting from USA's addiction to oil
- Reading the Quran all the fucking time
- Honour Killings
- Watching The Loud House
- Raping anyone who looks like a white girl, just like niggers
- Raping anybody who dares show a microscopic portion of skin
- Contributing absolutely nothing positively to society.
- Stealing, destroying and shooting.
- Trying to take over Europe and implement the Shariah Law.
- Looking just like Negroes, but hairier and in the color of burrito shit.
The Enlightened Way Muslims Treat Women
The star and crescent appear in combination in finds from in and around ancient Israel. It has been associated with the Moabites (14th or early 13th – 6th century BC), as the symbol or symbols appear on what are thought to be Moabite name seals. Crescents appearing together with a star or stars are a common feature of Sumerian iconography, the crescent usually being associated with the moon god Sin and the star (often identified as Venus) with Ishtar. "The crescent of Sin (the moon god) and the star of Ishtar (Lucifer)". Some scholars maintain that later use of the symbol arose from Babylonian mythology in which the juxtaposition of Sin (moon god, father of time) was a metaphor for the cosmic powers given to the Babylonian king to rule.
— Qur'an, Sura 9:29
M = 13 x 9 = 117
U = 21 x 9 = 189
H = 8 x 9 = 72
A = 1 x 9 = 9
M = 13 x 9 = 117
M = 13 x 9 = 117
A = 1 x 9 = 9
D = 4 x 9 = 36
TOTAL = 666
Muhammad = 666
MuhamMAD (may he writhe in hell) was part Jesus, part Genghis Khan and part moralfag. He was often credited for uniting the Middle East through the spread of Islam but it was mainly because of his policy of conversion or death to those he conquered.
Mohammed (may he writhe in hell) started his life as a merchant and taxi driver and later moved on to become the head of a massive child prostitution industry. But after he was kicked out of his hometown, Makkah, he soon figured out that selling people bullshit was a lot more profitable than selling dates and slurpees. He wrote some schizoid poetry about his conversations with God on his LJ and added tons of friends looking for stupid arbitrary rules to run each and every aspect of their lives.
Mohammed (may he writhe in hell) was a pedophile, pirate, rapist, and slaver. Modern day psychology would regard him as a textbook psychopath. Fortunately for the Muslim, Mohammed (may he writhe in hell) is held up in Islam teaching as a "positive" example of what a Muslim man should aim to emulate. Hence, the 1200 year world-wide rape-and-murder-fest.
After turning his LJ into a magic book, titled "The Queer'An", Mohammed (may he writhe in hell) was able to convince a bunch of other retards that he was God's prophet. Then he did what any other man would do when he gets that kind of power: acquire a lot of worthless sand and kill lots and lots of people. This toilet paper that Islamfags read from is also full of continuity issues, the worst saying the universe was created by Allah in 6 days, and then in a later text, 8 days. (no, really)
Muhammad For Dummies
- Go to a cave and pretend you saw an angel
- Make up a crazy religion where you are considered perfect and beyond criticism
- Tell everyone you are the last and most important messenger, so no one can copy you
- Tell them you are allowed several (underage) wives and get them to conquer you more people
The Koran states that no pictures are ever to be made, drawn or otherwise published of Muhammad's likeness. The reason generally given is that Muhammad made this demand because he didn't want to be idolized like Jesus was - stuck on a cross. This turns out to be a mistranslation. What Muhammad wanted was for no drawings of his likeness to exist so that they couldn't be put on wanted posters.
If Muhammad's caliphate enemies didn't know what he looked like, they couldn't hunt him down and pin his brown ass to a cross. Since Muhammad is now long-since dead and gone, it's a clear sign of how enlightened Muslims are by not dropping a simple, selfish act of self-preservation by their brave leader that obviously had jack shit to do with the "Word of Allah".
In this sense, Muhammad was some sort of religious Anonymous and a moral terrorist, since 99% Muslims are called Muhammad or Mohammed or anything that sounds similar.
Q:How Do I drew Prophet Muhammad? A:LIKE THIS!
Do and don't
There are some forbidden things, called haraam: pork, alcohol, nutmeg, personal hygiene or having an education. Muslims have a secret art called taqiyya, which they use to infiltrate into the leftist-liberal self-hating white environment. Generally it means lies, deceit, victim games or menace, all used to further Islam. However Islam ain't that bad of a religion, rich Muslims can have up to 4 wives, and all wives must follow the man, not the other way around as in the west. A Muslim can beat his wife if in a bad mood, just cannot harm the face. Woman having a headache when you want it is also counted as haraam in Islam. And best of all, MJ is allowed. However violent verses of unholy Koran can make you flood all threads with some bullshit.
Muslims: The Ultimate Moralfags
A great Muslim tradition in Western countries is to complain about how everything offends their religion; and despite the fact that Western civilization operates on democracy, those in charge will do everything and anything to appease them; lest they ALLAH ACKBAR an entire district.
Some of the many, many Muslim complaints are listed below;
- Personal clothing. Yes, Muslims have no qualms about coming to non-Muslim countries, but according to the Quran, any woman who exposes even an atomic particle of her own body (such as wearing a bikini) is Asking for it and thus have a legal sanction to be raped. Sweden learned it the hard way.
- The Holocaust. Despite the fact that diaper-heads everywhere consider DER JUDE to be some kind of hybrid between Satan, Captain Hook and Scrooge McDuck (the latter title is accurate); they for reasons which differ from Muslim to Muslim (fabrication is like that) find the Holocaust offensive. It has been V& from being taught in the UK, and although the English pussies are pansy enough to get scared by 3 letters from a concerned mother it will not be long until the other dominoes fall.
- Treating Women and Homosexuals like People. As far as the camelfuckers are concerned, scrotum and humanity go hand in hand. Muslims dictate that all homosexuals should be killed and that women should go about the place clad in a duvet cover, although given the physical appearance of Middle Eastern women this can be justified.
- Americans et al. Muslims, likely irritated that their entire country resembles an overused kitty litter pan, detest whitey for reasons which basically translate to "having money, rational thinking, and religious tolerance".
- Religion, excluding theirs. Muslims come to multicultural countries and complain about the dominant religion, despite the fact that if someone from that country did that in a Muslim country they would be put to death. This basically involves saying Christmas is offensive; but like all other Muslim complaints the reason for this is to the tune of "ALLAH ALLAH ALLAH DON'T PISS ME OFF OR MY HUSBAND WILL BLOW YOU UP!"
Jihad means crusade. Any moslem who tells you otherwise is lying. Islamic leaders are known to "put a jihad" on anybody for any reason in any location at any time. A single butthurt Mullah may control his temper enough to only declare a fatwa. In a 1991 case in Japan, a man was permabanned IRL for translating Salaman Rushdie's "The Satanic Verses" into Japanese, along with numerous others involved in the book's publication and distribution (see TOW for more).
Muslims are required by their religion to use Jihad as an excuse to be an IRL troll. They are known to generate serious drama and get worldwide old media attention by blowing themselves up next to Jews and pretty much anyone who doesn't smell as badly as they do.
How to Jihad as recorded in the Koran:
- Pray to Allah and smack the wife around one last time.
- Strap bomb to self.
- Stand around Jews and/or infidels.
- VIRGINS!!! leaving behind the tented biatch you slapped in step 1, who can never remarry and is supposed to get the lulz about what you did.
After dying, Muslims celebrate with 72 virgins in paradise. If all are female and or not gay/animals is a matter of debate. They are surrounded by prepubescent boys "like scattered pearls" and get to smoke all the shisha they like, drink beer, eat falafel, couscous and other inedible foods and hang out with tons of dark-eyed houri in burkas (see burka porn in gallery) beyond the gates of Heaven. White men on the other hand have dicks shoved into their mouths and are fucked repetitively with spike poles.
According to CSPI, over the 1400 years jihadists in the name of MuhamMAD (may he writhe in hell) had killed ~ 270 millions infidels. This is 193 000 dead kuffar in a year. Adolf Hitler hearing these numbers went into deep depression and finally committed suicide.
not enough jews.
Here are some fine examples of Muslim Jihads!
What they look like
PLEASE NOTE: Although Middle Eastern women are rarely distinguishable from men, they have been cataloged separately.
Men- Muslim men can easily be spotted even in the most civilized society: they sport stylish dishrags wrapped around their cavernously empty heads, wear sandals even in the winter, and walk around in pajamas. Being Sand Niggers, they are unfailingly lazy and do not contribute positively to society, but instead of being negro-like in appearance they are instead the colour of a burrito poo. Physically, ragheads have aquiline noses and prodigious amounts of hair growing in every part of their body and indeed out of every major orifice. Their monobrows are startlingly reminiscent of two caterpillar moths trying to eat each other. Young silicon dioxide negroes' only concession to being modern is that they get very drunk and fuck white women.
Women- Muslim ladies are forced to wear ridiculous beekeeper outfits that make them look like ninjas in public because heterosexual males cannot stand the sight of them. These ghost costumes do, however, aid in distinguishing the gender of the wearer, and are thus entirely necessary in Muslim countries. When they aren't wearing bedspreads, these luscious ladies resemble little more than female wookiees. It is not uncommon for husband and wife to share the same facial razor. Terrorists have used the burka to perform acts of terror on an unsuspecting public. So far, only 2 countries have the balls to ban the burka in public places.
Becoming a Muslim
Now you may wonder, why do people join Islam? There are many good reasons. For instance:
- They promised you a Paradise ten virgin starter package.
- You can go to Kewl Schewl and learn how to make Big Bomz out of fireworks and propane and urea fertilizer.
- Isn't Osama bin Laden so handsome? Don't you just dream you could be out with him in the tent one night, share a sleeping bag, how you say, let your privates lice play with one another like two camels chained to the same pole all night long.
- The kidnapper with the knife who just cut the throat of the guy alongside you.
- You can piss off your Mom from your very own al-Qaida radio station in Pakistan.
- some point in your life you have to yell and blow the fuck out of yourself and the nearest embassy or tower
To become a Muslim, honest recitation of Shahadak in Arabic is required. Infidels wishing to convert to Islam do so by a public recitation of creed: "There is no moon god but Allah, and Muhammad (may he writhe in hell) is his sexy bitch", in Arabic: "Allalulah alulallulalla lallah alalah ula ulallalah." Then one can go to blow something up, enter the paradise and get his 72 virgins, if muallaf - convert is male. This is to do for everyone, as all non-Muslims after death are eaten by Shaytan and defecated as bio fertilizer.
How to be a Muslim
- Make a retarded name for yourself. Abdullah, Aziz, Kortaran, Malik, Aisha, Fatimah, Haniya, Hiba, Kabir, Ibrahim, Nuh and Omar are some examples listed here.
- Always play the victim and use the race card. The liberals will defend and coddle you, no kidding.
- Be a coward if you don't have any dynamite, kill babies, elderly or the disabled, or simply just rape them.
- Pray 5 times a day as Allah is a huge attention whore. When you pray, smash your head on the ground to give yourself temporary autism in the name of your "Prophet" Muhammad.
- As stated from your precious Koran, any women who shows at least 10 square centimeters of skin are asking for it! If you see any white bitch exposing skin, pick your favorite one and raep her to death. After raping her infidel body raw, mutilate her and leave her scarred physically, mentally and emotionally PERMANENTLY!
- Deny the Holocaust as revenge against the decadent, hooknosed, evil Zionist Jewish pig dog Untermensches.
- When someone draws anything as much as being 0.1% offensive, a tiny speck of flesh on a burka-wearing freak, chimpout and get your friends to burn pictures of that cartoonist and his/her home country's flag, even if it is Sweden.
- When you get arrested for stabbing that faggot/Dutch/French/Chinese/Jew/gay/Japanese/Italian/transgender infidel to death and the cops finally caught up with you, yell racial profiling and cry RACISM! The libtards and Angela Merkel will come to your rescue. Don't forget the Swedish too.
- Say ridiculous thing such as "WASSALAKKA PACHATHAHS!!! MAKKA MAKKA!!! ZUBAKKA!! HOOOO! HOOOO! HAAAAAH! HAAAAAH! ALLAH ALLAH ALLAH FUCK JESUS HE ISSTHAH SLAVE OF ALLAH! RAYCISSM RAYCISSM!" or "BASSA CHECKOLAHH BABA BEEGAH DURKA DURKA MUHAMMAD JIHAD! EXTERMINATE WHITEY! KILL JEWS! HEIL HITLER ALLAHU ACKBAR!!!1". If Whitey does not understand what you are saying, cry racism.
- Rape and molest little girls, have 4 fucking wives so your 20+ children will bleed the economy dry and sodomize little boys.
- When begging for money, if you only receive a miserable shekel or a teensy-weensy quattah, this is a perfectly good reason to rape or kill them. Just say "ThEy WUZ JooWIsH/wHItEe", don't sweat it, as the libtards will come to your rescue.
- If any particularly country is not treating Muslims well (China, Myanmar, USA, Russia, Japan, Eastern Europe), burn their flags, take to the streets and get dozens of your friends to protest and scream like mad dogs.
- Always whine on how the Kike Parasite or White Devil is keeping you down, despite Whitey spending billions on you and your fellow Muslims' welfare.
- If you live in a scorching wasteland (Indonesia, Nigeria, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Saudi Arabia, Egypt, Syria, Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan), always try to steal a plane ticket so you can go to your Jihad to Europe and rape all the white wimminz there.
- Rape white girls, just like niggers.
- If you are a Muslim women, you are not allowed to drive a car, go out of the house or even show a microscopic portion of your skin, instead, shit out tons of dirty sandy niglets to bleed the economic dry.
- When 2 Muslims are ready to corner an infidel who did something such as saying "Merry Christmas", they should encircle the infidel, give him/her dirty looks for about 30 minutes. If he attempts escape, pin him to the ground and kill him!
- If you successful managed to invade the evil secular world, misbehave and act like a fucking imbecile, especially if you escaped to Sweden. Who cares if you got welfare, protest on the streets for Sharia Law, kill and eat the infidels alive, look Negro-like in appearance and resemble burrito poo in both looks and smell.
- When on a protest, make sure your signs say stuff like "JESUS IS THE SLAVE OF ALLAH", "SHARIA FOR *insert country name here*", "ISLAM WILL DOMINATE THE WORLD", "9/11 IS ON ITS WAY", "ISLAM: BEST WAY FOR PEOPLE TO LIVE", "FUCK DONALD TRUMP", "MUTILATE THOSE WHO MOCK ISLAM", "FREEDOM GO TO HELL", "DEMOCRACY ON THE DEATH ROW" and "MUSLIMS RISE UP, ESTABLISH THE SHARIA!".
- Muslims should have as many children as possible, so they can receive shitloads of welfare in return.
- Male Muslims should either go to prison or become taxi drivers/infidel exterminators by age 15.
- Male Muslims should die violently at the age of 35 if they want to get their 72 virgins and to have a legacy in their refugee tents/ghettos. Muslim women should grow old and tell their baby sandniglets lies and bullshit on how Whitey and Kikes keep them down.
- When your Swedish girlfriend reports you to the police for eating her mixed mutt son alive and tenderizing it, say he drew Muhammad. YOU GET OF SCOT FREE! WOOHOO!
- When you fight the police, trash around, screech, yell and hoot like a chimpanzee while you brawl with the cops. That way, you can appear for 15 minutes on Swedish News and become a good role model for Muslim children so that they will kill and eat cops in the future.
- Since Muslims are always getting killed and spontaneously combusting, having 20+ children is a great way to breed like fucking rabbits while more jihadists can blow up Jews and Christians.
- When taking over a portion of the Swedish city after a 2-day long rampage, steal assault weapons, dynamite and bazookas. Don't forget to contact Muslim gangs to guard the city and rape the white wimminz. You Muslims have done a great work and you took over 62 areas, Malmo and Stockholm. ALLAHU ACKBAR! ALLAHU ACKBAR! MAY PISS BE UPON PROPHET MUHAMMAD!!!
- Only drink goat piss, camel piss, and oil, both ground and palm variety.
- When you are at the street intersection, cross the zebra crossing even when the light clearly says "WAIT". When you walk, walk as slowly as possible, the more chaos you create, the better.
- Complimenting from the previous statement, you can get some of your fellow fuckbuddies to pray on the streets, preferably on a Friday. Maximum lulz will ensure as you and your friends clog up the traffic.
- For Muslim women, let your little sandyniglets run wild in shopping malls and break everything they can get their dirty little paws on. When the shopkeepers and managers ask you to pay, get mad and tell them that they are being racist.
- Burn down your own mosques and blame it on the White Man, that way you can demand new mosques at the hardworking White taxpayers' expense.
- Spread AIDS, especially to white girls if possible. German and Swedish girls are a plus.
- Cross the street at any time, even if it is unnecessary. When they honk at you, give them a dirty look and the finger, they are most probably white anyways.
- Muslim clerks and cashiers MUST never be polite to white customers. Give other equally inferior niggers the best service you can but scowl at the whites, spit on their food/cash and give them dirty looks. Rape white women if possible.
- To a Muslim, raping a white girl is the same as her showing at least 10 square inches of skin. Go tell your friends on what a playa u r.
- When cellmates ask how you got in prison, blame it on whitey.
- For Indonesian Muslims, smoke at least 8 cigarettes a day from the age of 2.
- When chewing, chew as loudly as you can. Muslim women should NOT take of their burkas when eating, they must stuff it up and make even more noise and shit.
- At work, do absolutely nothing at all and look up burka porn on the computers, or comPOOPERS as you guys call it. When you get your shitty paycheck, demand a raise. If your boss does not, sue him and get the libtards to fight for your rights.
- When you are really angered, threaten the white devils that the 9/11 of Europe is on its way.
- Muslim politicians should NEVER speak of relevant issues. Instead, rant and rave on how the Whites keep Muslims and other degenerate minorities down, ask for more crusade and refugee reparations and your Muslim supporters to rampage and riot if some white guy steps out of line and says Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah or draws a Muhammad cartoon, nice or not.
- If an infidel says Merry Christmas or Happy Hanukkah to you, declare it a war on your religion (death cult) and destroy a shitton of churches and synagogues as revenge. Don't sweat it if the cops come after you, the Swedes, Germans and Angela Merkel will come to your rescue, don't forget the Nation of Islam and the Swedish Migration Agency.
- After a Muslim mayor has finished running a city/town, they should always leave it in ruins and a nigger-infested wasteland while they get millions from scandals and scams. The mayor should also rally his fellow Jihadists to kill as many Whites as possible.
- When a Muslim criminal is scheduled for death row, stage mass protests outside the prison. The protests should be attended by the Saudi Prince, Mahathir Bin Mohamad, Muslim Politicians, Louis Farrakhan, the Nation of Islam, Swedish Liberals, The Social Democratic Party, Shaq O'Neal, Assad, Caesar, Maurice, Rocket, Luca and the Ape Colony from Planet of the Apes, the Swedish Migration Agency, Angela Merkel, Hilary Clinton, Malala Yousafzai, German Liberals, and of course, Sand Wiggers, and Sand Mudsharks. Destructive and violent behavior is always encouraged.
- In racially mixed neighborhoods, the subhuman Muslims should always trash the White, Jewish and East Asian homes, vandalize them with graffiti, smash all the windows, steal their furniture and tear off all the roof tiles. Blame it on racism and the liberals will support the Muslims.
- Muslim children should always bully and threaten to kill their infidel classmates if they refuse to convert to Islam and show them beheading videos by ISIS. Bonus points if a Muslim boy rapes white girls.
- Muslims should kill infidels over more turf, despite it being owned by some old rich Jew or Chinaman.
- When your little sand niglet shits in the wrong place, you have every consent in the world to beat him to death.
- Muslims who have killed someone (ALWAYS A WHITE, CHRISTIAN OR JEW) should hack the carcass into pieces and roast them in a barbecue to get rid of the evidence and have a free barbecue party. Since you probably jizz out oil, you don't need to pay for BBQ fuel.
- Muslim women should always dress up like the lowest of prostitutes to attract only 1 or 2 White Men.
- When a Muslim comedian is onstage making fun on peaceful religions such as Christianity and Judaism, the Muzziecrowd should always rave wildly, cause a huge ruckus, violently rock on their chairs, and create a mess while yelling "HOOOOOO HOOOOOOO HAAAAAA HAAAAAAA! ALLAH ALLAH ALLAH! FUCK THE JEWS ALLAHU ACKBAR! WASSALAKKA MAKASTAGGA WIPABO BASHITNIY!!!!". But if a Christian or Jew makes a joke about your death cult, even if it is positive, the Muzziecrowd must chimpout and rampage and protest at the infidel's home country's embassies in foreign countries. These Muslims should demand endless written apologies while tearing cities apart and killing hundreds of infidels. Muslims must always bring the infidel down, despite being 60 IQ abominable subhumans with zero education and common sense.
- When you and your friends are riding a beat-up truck that your friend Abdullah/Omar/Muhammad stole, use any automatic gun and shoot down as many infidels as you can. Killing children are a plus, especially if they are white or Jewish.
- Muslim men should have 5 kids by the time they are 25, always to at least 2 hairy Arabic freaks.
- Always give white people that "hard" stare... squint your eyes and flex your lips. Breathe fast and hard, clench your fists when staring.
- Muslim mothers, you will undoubtedly lose a son or two (or all 21-30), as a result of being gunned down by a police officer during a struggle over the officer's gun. Chimp out in front of the cameras, lie about how your "baby" was a hardworking, loving, caring son.... even though his hate rants against Jews, East Asians and Whitey, and Muhammad and Hitler tributes were long enough to wallpaper the complete interior of your project dwelling, and no matter how many times he raped your ass on certain occasions.
- Have a separate "downlow" relationship with another Muslim male, then go home to all 4 of your wives and transmit your newly aquired HIV virus to all 4.
- When failing an IQ test for a promotion or a job application, sue the employer. They will cave in because you're an Arab, Austronesian, Indian or Paki, and from pressure from Angela Merkel, the Swedish Immigration Agency and Liberals.
- When losing in an argument to a White/Jewish/East Azn person, Muslims should always start posting pictures of flag burning, muh dikking, camel buggering, goat fucking, ape raping and violent Jihads.
- Eat at expensive restaurants. Eat everything on the plate except for an extremely small chunk of food. Complain to the waiter that you now feel ill as a result of the food, and demand that they give you the meal for free. Threaten to call the health department, the Social Democratic Party and the Swedish Immigration Agency.
- If you don't want to kill yourself after gunning down several infidels, you can kill them with your foul stench. Never bathe at all and take a sand bath once a month (or just don't do it at all). Your stench will definitely knock some hook-nosed Jews out cold.
- For further protection against the police, hide in the sewers and come up at the road drainage area in Jewish neighborhoods. When an infidel comes near, drag them down and hack them to pieces (its a plus if you eat some of him/her).
- If you see a pig farm, a cartoon with pigs or anything remotely porky, cry racism and demand the pigs to be sent back to some anti-Muslim country such as Italy and Hungary.
- Mug and rob infidels you see walking down the street and claim they were being racist or islamophobic to you.
As you can see, being a Muslim is hard work, how do these towelheaded freaks even manage?! Or more importantly, how are you going to do all of that, become a true Muslim and get your 72 virgins after you suicide-bomb these infidel Jews and Christians and go to the afterlife!??
How to get into heaven
Or at least, how to avoid being spit-roasted in hell forever.
In Christianity, it's pretty straightforward: accept Jesus as your personal Lord and Saviour get baptised, and presto all your sins are forgiven. God does require a human sacrifice of course, because he's a bloodthirsty semitic volcano-god, but that human sacrifice was Jesus so provided that you bend the knee you are all square with God. Job done.
In Islam, however, you get into heaven on a points system. If you lived your life Islamic enough, most of the time, well - Allah is merciful, Allah is forgiving, slipping up occasionally is fine provided your balance comes out positive. The difficulty, of course, is that Allah doesn't email you a quarterly report. You can never really be sure, you know? It's always wiser to be more islamic than less. You never know what your balance really is.
Unless you are a 25-year-old man who has lived in the west and not followed Islam during that time. Eating pork, not praying five times a day, looking at western women and jerking off. In that case, you are pretty certainly destined for hell. If only there was some way to make those points up! If only there was a cheat code that would raise your "being Islamic" score above the magic threshold!
Happily for you, there is. The Koran and every significant Islamic scholar agree that killing some infidels - Jihad - will do the trick. You can be a drug-smoking pork-eating completely westernised sinner, but if you can top a few christians then that will almost certainly put you back in positive territory. You get more points for that than for anything else. Naturally you cant *really* be sure, so the best plan is to kill as many infidels as possible before the police shoot you. Those spree-killing "lone wolf" moslems are all terrified of hell, desperate to kill as many christians as they can before they are brought down, desperate to make those points up.
So, if you know a moslem dude who is an ok sort of guy, not a fanatic or anything, and he goes on holiday to the old country and comes back all newly serious about his religion - be warned. That's the profile of a man who is going to commit Jihad. Happens all the time. Stay out of line of fire. Report him to the FBI. It will accomplish nothing, of course, but you did what you could.
The Koran clearly states that every woman is asking for it. Immigrant mooslims to Europe have a longstanding religious dogma about dating white women. It is called "take your turn" when translated from monkey speak. It is a process where a Muslim meets a white jail bait or hottie, dates her, gets her alone and rapes her with his monkey buddies. All for the lulz and Jihad of course. According to known-rapist Muhammad, a woman can be justifiably raped for numerous reasons, including, but not limited to:
- Looking at a man she isn't married/related to.
- Talking to a man she isn't married/related to.
- Having sex with a man she isn't married/related to.
- Having sex with another woman, even if commanded to by her husband under threat of rape.
- Watching or appearing on Oprah
- Watching the Simpsons
- Attending an institution of higher-learning (rape/murder).
- Not staying in the kitchen making hummus and falafel.
- Not bearing a child, in spite of the frequent rape.
- Showing more than 10 cm2 of skin.
The Middle East, Malay Archipelago and Sweden(istan) are currently competing with Africa to become the rape capital of the world. Therefore, it is the best place for a anyone seeking man points to go and get some. In Saudi Arabia, the rapist is the victim and the rapee is the actual offender - never in the history of mankind has "she was asking for it" been so masterfully implemented and codified.
The woman will get not only jail time but also 90 lashes (the video of which you can request a copy of for further fapping). And if she tells anyone, especially the media, she automatically gets 110 more lashes. The worst you might get is five years in a Saudi prison getting sand pounded forcefully into your asshole by Bubba-Al-Hakeem. Such is life.
In fact, it may be argued this is an ultra-protectionist policy to keep the 1% percent non-hirsute chicks to themselves. Compare to a friend of yours who meets a girl but he doesn't introduce her to you in case "you wanna stole her from him".
Another ordinary day at the raping
Islam definitely has moral superiority over the evil secular world. You'd think that if Islam was so much better than everything else - the perfect moral code - then scumbags like these three animals wouldn't even exist. Unless ... something about their religion makes them think of women as being in some way inferior and fair game if they are unveiled?
And Yet Another...
Once again, Muslim moral supremacy prevails as eight Muslim men, with more Mohammed in their names than you thought possible, abduct and gang rape young White girls (the youngest being 12), apparently trying to re-enact such popular Western pornography as BangBus but without the annoying bother of "consent".
Praise Allah for all this fresh Crusader pussy
Rape Gangs In The UK, Anyone?
Thanks to the English going on a politically-correct idiot crusade, things like this keep happening:
- Consider the woman who reported that Muslims raped 1400 British girls was forced to undergo "diversity training"  The police knew about the girls getting raped but did nothing to stop it, partly because of political correctness. They even went as far as to label the victims as "prostitutes" so they wouldn't offend anyone.
—A former social worker
Rotherham, anyone? 
WP articles that talk about various Muslim rape gangs in England:
Muslims are widely believed to be violent insane wife-beating intolerant fuckwad child-raping murderers. Those who disapprove of stereotyping argue that the media doesn't do enough to document all the good things that Muslims do in the world. But those people are dead wrong. In fact, the media has never reported anything of that sort and probably never will because there is nothing to report.
Muslims also get a bad rep because they are currently at war with at least a dozen countries in the world including the USA and their allies. For people living in these countries, it is common knowledge that all Muslims are evil terrorists, that they believe in a false deity and that they deserve to have their oil stolen from them for environmental destruction and profit.
Science has proven, however, that if Muslims honestly want to dispel their bad rep they will have to switch to a more tolerant religion. It could actually be any religion, so long as it doesn't actively encourage practitioners to forcefully and violently convert people to their religion against their will. But this is unlike to happen. If they tried, we would say "hey it was just 4 teh lulz" in order to secure our arguments for war, oil and rape.
Not intolerant of Christianity shock
Crusaders have been putting about the blasphemous rumour that the followers of the Prophet want to kill all Christians. A classic example - ten eye doctors were recently killed in Afghanistan and the Western Satanic Press claimed that the Taliban, Peace All Over Them, had executed them for being Christian missionaries. This of course is untrue. The doctors were killed for practicing medicine incompatible with 7th century Saudi Arabia. It's Allah in a day's work for the Taliban! 
WARNING: Exercise extreme caution when trolling Muslims because if they raeg they have 99.9% probability of exploding
- Draw Mohammad
- If you drew him, take the drawing to the Mosque for a bonus point to show to all the Muslims there
- Call them a Muzzie
- Call them a Terrorist
- Call them Kebab
- Ask them if they have bombs underneath their clothes
- Ask them why their women smell and look like garbage bags.
- Say you are not into violence, terrorism and bestiality (They will hate you 110%).
- When they're reading the Quran in Arabic language, laugh at the way the words sound. Seriously, Kaaba, Abu, Niqab, Fatimah, Makkah, Shahadak, Gazma, Koltaran, Tozz Feek, Elan Abook, Assralak, Dekantak, Karbooj are literally just babytalk and made up earrape language mixed together and cranked up to 11 in annoyance!
- Talk to them in nothing but "Durka Durka Muhammad Jihad"
- Tell them they stink and ask if that was supposed to be used for bioterrorism
- Say that May 20th 2010 was the funniest day ever
- Say that South Park is the best show ever
- Wear a Bikini
- Bring a feminist (WARNING: Will result in apocalyptic-scale biowarfare between the two)
- "Israel was there first".
- Inform the Non-Arab muslims that Islam was primarily the Ideology of arab Imperialism
- Ask if praying is a polite way of meaning jacking off
- Tell them every thing they know is a lie and they will be Dying alone
- Burn the Qur'an
- Obtain a lot of pig's blood, then evaporate it and distill it into water and alcohol. Make them drink it and then tell them what it is.
- Say them that you are an Atheist or an Agnostic
- Vote for Donald Trump
- Call Mohammad a pedophile
- Tell them that you doubt Mohammads Historicity.
- Bring a Serbian friend
- Make Thalmor memes to badmouth the worship of Allah.
- Sneak into the Hajj Pilgrimage, pee and shit on the Kaaba. Try splashing pig shit on it if possible.
- Rip out a Muslim woman's Hijab/Niqab/Burka/Chador or other Muslim dresses with WTF-worthy names.
- Tell them that the Jews will be far richer and smarter than them.
- Hate The Loud House, an incest harem cartoon.
- Chase them with a pig leg or head.
- Put the Quran in the toilet bowl, where it truly belongs.
- Tell them that they should treat Sweden better (Even though Swedes bend over backwards for these intolerant, inbred freaks, they cannot comprehend gratitude and thanksgiving; Typical of subhumans created by God from filthy shitpits in hellholes to punish the Jews).
- Inform them that France saw a sharp decrease in terror crimes after they banned the Burka.
- Tell them that Muhammad was a pedophile who raped and married a 9-year old girl, Aisha.
- Inform them that the Arabs are not Ismaelites, the descendants of Ishmael; but are subhuman abominations created by God to punish the Jews and he was a giant asshat.
- Tell them that dogs can sniff out people for illegal drugs, detect landmines and drive cars; and their hatred for dogs is utterly stupid.
- Drink beer, THE BEST DRINK EVAR!!!1
- Tell them that they have African ancestry, making them part nigger. As they enslaved niggers before, they technically should be slaves because of their nigger genes.
Muslims React to Muhammad Cartoons
The Official Muslim Butthurt Meter
TIER 1 (INDIVIDUAL ATTACKS): When this happens, the Muslim perpetrator will spit, yell, hoot and give you middle fingers. Profanity will be used excessively and a few other Musfags may be looking on. A weapon such as a pistol or revolver will be needed if they start getting violent.
Examples: Too much to count
TIER 2 (FLASH MOBS): Now, things would have escalated and 4 to 15 Muslims should be butthurt at you and they will start throwing their food and trash the area. Small-scale property damage and vandalism will happen and there will be loud shouting. Weapons such as shotguns and rifles are recommended unless you can run fast.
TIER 3 (MALMÖ RIOTS): Includes elements of Tier 1 and 2, but some radical Muslims have joined in the fight and explosions can happen. The Muslims should be numbering at 50 to 300 and the property damage will become worse, such as car burning, vandalism and Anti-Semitic imagery. Holocaust Denial and racist comments against the White Devil will be shouted and a few Muslims might even bring guns to the fight. Gang attacks, assaults and robbery are expected and good weapons such as the AK-47, double-barrel shotguns and butcher knives are heavily recommended.
Example: 1-14 Jakarta Attacks, Malaysia Airlines, Sudanese Teddy Bear Blasphemy Case, Ground Zero Mosque, San Berdinado Shooting, Raep, Nice Truck Attack 16, 2016 Munich Massacre, Homosexual Execution
TIER 4 (SWEDEN RAMPAGES): At that stage, the Muslims would be numbering the the high hundreds to the low-medium thousands and will be carrying all sorts of weapons such as ridiculously out-of-date guns, cutlasses, flaming torches, hand grenades, Molotov Cocktails and other handmade shit made of the garbage they can get their nasty paws on. Rape, sodomy and sexual assaults will always happen, especially to blue-eyed, blonde and pale-skinned wimminz. Cars will be torched, synagogues and churches will be wrecked, a fire hydrant could burst and anywhere from dozens to hundreds of infidels will be murdered or raped. A high-level weapon such as a machine gun, rocket launcher or a flamethrower is a must if you want to stay alive for at least a minute.
TIER 5 (SAUDI ARABIA): When Muslims are chimping out and rampaging at that stage, you are in for a really bad time and a double heavy machine gun exoskeleton armed with chainsaws or flamethrowers is required to survive for tops, 300 seconds. There are usually tens to hundreds (in rare cases, millions) of butthurt Muslims who are infuriated over some bullshit. This normally happens in shitty Muslim-majority countries such as Pakistan, Saudi Arabia, Yemen and Somalia where some infidel who stepped out of line does something as simple as complaining that the call to prayer was too loud or just touching their precious Qurans by accident. Raging mayhem and chaos, severe injury, cannibalism, mutilation, extreme property damage, suicide bombings, dismemberment, skinning and whipping will be all too common. These Muslim may even send in firing squads to exterminate the infidels. Camel or goat rape have a 99% chance of happening.
TIER 6 (PLANET OF THE APES): This is the most dangerous Muslim butthurt tier and when it happens, the Ummah of Jihad will decide to go on a mad quest to exterminate every infidel they can find OR start the 4th Caliphate. Currently, only 4 of them has happened; one during the life of Muhammad, the almighty messenger, prophet and slave of Allah the Master Deceiver, the second happened after Muhammad's (may piss be upon him) death where the sand niggers conquered North Africa, the Iberian Peninsula and Central Asia; the third happened at the 15th Century and the Ottomans invaded and raped Europe (though they were driven out), the Malay Archipelago, Subsaharan Africa and South Asia fell into Islam. Currently, the Muslims have organised the 4th Caliphate and are turning their hungry eyes onto Europe, all of which have become ultra-PC, liberal and self-hating pussy sissies. By 2050, Europe would have become a Muslim and Nigger-infested wasteland and the Aryan race will become extinct (except for those Islamophobic Pig-Dog Untermensch Ashcan-Nazi Jews), Islam becomes the largest religion and Europe will fall into darkness.
Examples: The Caliphates
Myths About Islam
MYTH: Muslims cant eat bacon FACT: They can't eat pork. Bacon is fine.
MYTH: There is only one God and Muhammed is his prophet FACT: There is only one dog and Muhammed tends to fuck it.
MYTH: Muslims like to fuck donkeys. FACT: You need a penis to fuck a donkey. Muslims like to FELLATE donkeys.
MYTH: "Jihad" does not mean "holy war". It means "struggle" FACT: I had a jihad on the toilet this morning.
MYTH: Muslims like to rape 9 year old girls FACT: It's not rape if the victim can't even feel your tiny dick.
MYTH: Islam is the world's most popular religion. FACT: Just because you force billions of people to obey some made up rules, that doesn't make it popular.
MYTH: The word "Islam" translates to "peace", "security", or "surrender" FACT: ...What
Idiotic Islamic Antics
Do you know Andrew Wakefield? Well in 2018, the debate is over and it has been said that HOLY SHIT VACCINES DON'T CAUSE AUTISM, but it was only said as it as the Liberals hacked the documents. Andrew was pwned and told to GTFO of the UK and North Americunt so he went for his third plan, go to the Islamic Empire and tell them that vaccines contain pork and autism. Americunts and Britfaggots may be silly humans, but Islam is only followed by retards who believe in Goat Rape, Pedophilia and Anti-Feminism. Andrew told the Islamokings that vaccines are evil and he was a defector from "evil" Europe who wanted to save the niggers from pork, and as expected, they believed him. Andrew was happy as 1.8 billion butthurt, dirty, smelly, sandy niggers are now giving him free moolah to say thanks. As stated before, its very easy to take advantage of racially inferior niggers who bash their heads in the earth 5 times a day and gangrape goats.
Malaysian Muslims have brought a legal case in the Court of Allah™ under the Law of Allah™ to make the trade-name “Allah™” copyright of the Only True Religion of Allah™, Insha' Allah™ . Muslim Internet Lawyers have sent Cease and Desist notices wrapped around firebombs to various Christian churches in Kuala Lumpur. Allah™-lujah! ﷲ
Once again, the Shore niggers of Malaysia are at it again, getting butthurt over trivial horseshit. Malaysian Muslims are extremely upset over a girl holding 2 guinea pigs, just because Guinean pigs have 'pig' in their name and are now burning flags and stocking up on heavy artillery to eradicate the infidels. Also, they are made angrier over the fact hot dogs have 'dog' in their name.
Islam: How To Deal With It
Exhibit A: The Monolith
Muslim Dating Services
Most Islam dating sites show "people" in burkas under the woman section, therefore it's impossible to confirm their true gender before marriage. However there are some exceptions, like these liberal girls gone wild!
You need at least a $16.66 muslima membership to be able to contact Gongo http://www.muslima.com
Islam In Modern Society
Islam and Lulz
It is a well known fact that Muslims have no sense of humor due to their denial of the lulzy epic trolling known as the Lollercaust. However, Muslims have become easy prey for trolls worldwide, due to the fact that you could draw a stick figure labelled "Muhammad" with his cock out masturbating in the face of a donkey, and it would be equally offensive as a stick figure labelled "Muhammad" mowing his lawn. Israel,Denmark, Medieval Catholics,and Salman Rushdie are the undisputed kings of pwning Islam. The only notably lulzy thing Islam has ever been accused of is 9/11 but that doesn't count because everyone knows that JEWS DID WTC.
List of Famous Muslims
- Bizarre, who enjoys eatin' hot dogs, readin' the Holy Koran, while he's on the John.
- Cat Stevens
- Snoop Dogg
- Philip Glass
- Random Douchebags
- Fictional characters
Particular attention deserves a popular Muslim comedian on youtube, whose shows spin around Islam. He's an idol of most Muslims on youtube, so by trolling him you can cause a lot of butthurt from his fans. Also, he stole this nickname from Ali Baba, a popular character in Arabic literature, even though he swapped words he's still a faggot who couldn't devise an original nickname for himself. In videos he's joking about Islam, he can accidentally yell at cam, pull faces, in other words being a typical youtube comedian, also has a lulzy Arabic accent.
Challenge to Weeaboos on Deviantart: Try drawing a manga of Muhammad and his daily life with his wife Aisha. When Tokyo lights up over satellite in the most spectacular manner possible, then it's sure you have done a great contribution to the Muslim community.
One of favorite pastime of a Muslim painter is to draw Muslim characters in manga-style. One of this example is Nayzak who draws kawaii characters, including kawaii muslima teacher (who needs a hard infidel cock to be inserted in her vagina) who gives lessons to infidels in understandable manner. Though being a lazy fucktard managed to produce only 4 parts so far. (LOL Comments Disabled!)aka
In Islam, music is forbidden because it is fun. But, if Islam were to have a theme tune, it'd be this...
- Bashar al-Assad
- Burn a Koran Day
- Prophet Muhammad
- South Park
- Osama Bin Laden
- Sand niggers
- Shore niggers
- Death to all Juice
- Defense Industries Organization
- Middle East
- Muhammad cartoons
- Everybody Draw Mohammed Day
- Anjem Choudary
- Fort Hood Massacre
- Muslim Dating Sites
- Revolution Muslim
- Salman Rushdie
- Saudi Arabia
- The Religion of Peace: Greatest news site in the world
- ZOMG! MOOSLIM LIT!!! FOR FREE!!!11
- Archive of the Denmark cartoons of Mohammad that started a new jihad
- Jihadist leader trying to pass as a popular MySpace whore
- Muslimspace.com - Social networking site for Muslims and vast repository of burka porn
- Search engine for Muslims. Very useful for lulz.
- Muslim furries, KILL IT WITH FIRE
- Christians beaten to death with rods for refusing Islam.
- Muslim mob beat and rape woman for simply wearing a bikini to sunbathe in a park.
- Mohammed cartoons causes worldwide Muslim rampages and US missionary is stormed to death.
- Indonesian Muslims angry because Trump is trying to stop their Global Jihad.
- 3 churches, an orphanage and a Christian center destroyed by rioting Muslims in Indonesia.
- Inbreeding causing severe genetic defects in Muslim hives.
- Pakistani Muslims throw Christian couple into a furnace for allegedly "using the Quran to wipe their shit of their butts".
- Autistic women stoned and incinerated to oblivion for "burning the Koran".
- Jews associate Islam with homosexuality. (although this might just be a cover to distract from their own practise of Mezizah B'peh)
- If you're a Muslim, you can rape children just like Muhammad!
- Al-Qaeda hiding behind Pedobear for British terror attacks!
- Attack Plans by Al-Qaeda on Denmark's Soil
- The religion of peace will want to cut your throat even for making jokes about fireworks!
- Maybe no virgins for you after all!
- A timeline of trolling Muslims.
- Funzie pix from white girls that dated muslims.
- Typical muslim wedding night. -"She was 8, but that's okay because she was married, right?" It's awwwwwwrrright
- Everyday, 11 Christians get killed by angry Muslims.
- Nigerian Muslims kill 32 Christians in an attack to get their "72 Virgins (goats)!"
- Sweden soon to be declared a shithole after countless Muslim rampages, riots, Planet of the Apes reenactments and bombings.
- Infuriated French Muslims killed 2 elderly Jewish women (cowards!).
- Dozens of Christians killed by Nigerian Muslims.
- Slaughter of sheep considered extreme and too many stones thrown. Crazy stats greatly exceeded predictions at one of the most violent Hajjs of all time.
- Muslims incinerate Christians in furnaces and throw Jewish children out of windows.
- Paki Policemen ransack church and beat up Christian Priest for 'loudspeaker music'.
- Muslims rain hellfire and death upon hundreds of Christians in Nigeria in one of the most brutal Jihads of the Modern Day.
- Bangladeshi Muslims destroy and raze an entire Hindu village over the rumor of "Prophet" Muhammad being insulted. Reports state: only one Hindu survived.
- 2 churches destroyed by Muslim mobs in Central Java province in Indonesia.
- Indonesian schools becoming warzones as student rape skyrockets to record-breaking levels.
- Pakiscum Muslims reenact Planet of the Apes and burn down 100 Christian homes, an estimated 600 to 900 Christians were incinerated.
- 8 Christians burnt alive during a Muslim riot in Pakistan.
- Hundreds of Ugandan Muslims attacked 6 Christian pastors for declaring "Jesus is the son of God".
- Furious Muslims in upper Egypt capture Christian women, strip her and start molesting her in broad daylight!
- Muslim gangs angry with Christian pastor for building a church. They attack him with clubs, hunt down his mom and poison her to death. Later they burn the church down and destroy his farm.
- Pakistanis sentence a Christian women to death just for believing in Jesus.
- 2 Christians somehow managed to survive a violent flurry of garbage and rocks hurled by an angry Muslim horde.
- Extreme amounts of rampages and Planet of the Apes reenactments are making Sweden so violent that some Muslims are thinking of returning to their scorching wastelands.
- Swedish Muslims have took over 62 parts of Sweden and have stolen assault weapons and bazookas; Murder rates are even higher than that of shitholes, Indonesia and South Africa.
- A massive gang of possibly hundreds of angry Swedish Mudslimes burnt 6000 CARS after their latest rampages.
- Nigerian Muslims wreck 12 Christian villages in their 4-day Jihad.
- Muslims burn a Christian alive and hunt down his father afterwards'
- Muslims in Sweden have conquered large parts of the country and are relentlessly bullying and raping the Swedes, who pamper and coddle them.
- IS CHINA THE ONLY SANE COUNTRY WHEN IT COMES TO MUSLIMS!?!? (DON'T FORGET JAPAN AND KOREA TOO!)
- 20,000 Egyptian Muslims Screaming "Allahu Akbar" Storm Christian Church.
- Pakistani Muslims kill Christian dad!
- Rioting Muslims attacked Christian protesters in London's East End screaming "get out of OUR country" (FACEPALM!).
- To celebrate a happy Ramadan, Egyptian Muzzies pelt Christians with bricks and stones, steal their stuff and scream "ALLAHU ACKBAR!"
- Muslims storm into Holocaust Memorial museum and start screaming hate rants against Jews!
- Muslims angry at schools that were simply neutral about Israel.
- Scientists tries to understand why Muslims are angry 24/7.
- Indian Muslims extremely butthurt over Pampers diapers having "Muhammad" on it!
- Butthurt Sudanese jail a Britfag teacher for allowing her students to name the class teddy bear "Muhammad"!
- Malaysian Muslims banned the following: Halloween, Yoga, Tomboyish Behavior, Shisha and Smoking, Black Metal and Justin Bieber (WTF?)
- Infrared camera finds Afghan man sodomizing a goat in his hut
- According to Muslims, Christians are pigs and Jews are apes!
- USA Muslims demand phrase from 9/11 memorial to be removed.
- Malaysian Muslims ban Israeli athletes from participating in sports there.
- Malaysian Muslims ban infidels from using the word "Allah" or they get beheaded.
- Malmo Muslims get into a frenzy over some Swedish democrat.
- Turkish Muslims butthurt over Lego set depicting Jabba the Hutt.
- Muslims worldwide are furious over AirMax Nike shoes having the word Allah on its sole when it was just fancy linework!
- French Muslim goes apeshit and destroys several bottles of alcohol!
- Infuriated German Muslim storms into a supermarket, chimps out and starts smashing beer bottles. So much for being a Muslim loving country when beer is your culture.
- Angry Muslims in Pakistan beat a Christian to near-death just for selling ice cream to them (WTF!)
- Indonesian Muslims jail Chinese Buddhist woman for 18 months (WTF!?) for complaining about Muslim prayers being too loud. Oh yeah, and angry mobs broke into her house and wrecked 14 Buddhist temples!
- 3 Muslim kids in Indonesia gangrape a goat, molest 6 kids and harass females after getting obsessed with VILE BESTIALITY PORN.
- Thousands of butthurt Pakistani Muslims take to the streets to rampage over a Christian women being released from jail.
- 8 Indian Muslims steal a pregnant goat and gangrape it to death!
- Yemeni teenager forced to marry camel for allegedly impregnating it.
- Indian Muslims rape 8-year-old child to death.
- Indonesian girl jailed for allegedly aborting baby she had with her brother... who raped her.
- Saudi Flag on beer bottle trolls many Muslims. They hold protests and want all that beer company to be executed!
- Baby screaming in pain as man slices its head open in Shi'ite Islamic Bloodletting Ritual! (WTF)
- British Muslims chant "USA YOU WILL PAY! CALIPHATE IS ON ITS WAY!!!"
- Musfags do the Nazi Salute and chant "HEIL HITLER! ALLAHU ACKBAR! FUCK THE JEWS!
- A little girl prepares to have her scalp slashed open while children smear themselves with their own BLOOD during Islamic ceremony mourning death of the Prophet's grandson
- Muslims celebrate massacre of Jews at an Anti-Zionist protest in London.
- Angry Muslims attack Aussie Christfag, rips his his cross off and stomp on it while screaming "FUCK JESUS!!!1"
- Indonesian Muslims storm govt buildings screaming for a sharia state!
- - This was made by a muslim to convert atheists.
- (CREATIVE user name right there, folks.)
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