My Tiny Dick

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to: navigation, search

What would you do if you had been cursed with a penis so shriveled it literally inverted when you sat down? A penis so miniscule you would have to solicitit BJs from dust mites? A penis so small that daring to show it to another living being would cause them so much hilarity that Jesus laughs at it too and thus causing inevitable butthurt on your part? Well EDiots, if you're anything like these guys, you'd just get your bitch to give you a hasty thumb job, slip on some tight denim hotpants like it was any other Tuesday and sign yourself up for an account!

My Tiny Dick[edit]

The forum is a veritable cornucopia of inconsequential cocks, a myriad of mini members, and the primary gathering place of the micropenised retards who actively seek this shit out. With usernames such as smallbutcute, whose email is shockingly and juniorweewee, who loves to tell tl;dr stories about the action his little fella sees, it is not so hard to see why God afflicted them with such a terrible ailment. Although it's always good to put a positive spin on things, rite you guise?

I believe a small pink circumcised stump is a marker of a high level of human evolution.


Our man Drew here has much to say on the subject of his miniature appendage:

I get aroused knowing that while I'm having sex with my wife, who is a big woman, she is permitting a really small dick to please her.


— You're Goddamn right she is, Drew. Hang in there big fella

Despite the fact that every woman is a big woman when what you are packing most closely resembles a cork resting on a bird's nest, many of these men talk of their BBW partners, and many speak of homosexual tendencies. The one thing better than having a tiny, tiny penis, is having a tiny, tiny penis while playing with another tiny, tiny penis. Apparently.


Considering its subject matter, mytinydick has remarkably little notable drama. There are obviously a fair amount of trolls, and plenty of people from the world of average sized dongs who pop in to make their 5 inch penis feel mighty, but nothing truly lulzworthy. Some juicy IRL drama came about with the case of a man who tried (unsuccessfully) to defend himself against seven counts of flashing by claiming that his nano-cock is too small to expose. Ya rly. In other news, it was revealed that Bernie Madoff, the epic IRL investment fraud troll, was also afflicted with the tinydick. See here for details, and cue many endowment jokes for great justice.

His penis, perfectly framed there by the tiles, socks and fail.

Memorable People[edit]

Every person is memorable on mytinydick, but the stories from users, specifically Juniorweewee make for great reading, as almost every post involves him fucking some hot chick who leaves him somewhere along the line for someone who isn't a faggot.

When I was 18, my dick was tiny and my sister at the time had just turned 13. I remeber that she used to want to see my penis and I would show it to her and she would always ask me why it was so small, but then I wondered how she even knew what was big and what was small. As it turned out she was a "Bad girl" and she and her friends started having sex at age 12 and 13. Her boyfriend was much bigger than me and well, that was it, until I met her new girl friend and found out that she was a virgin but didn't want to be but was scared of the size of most boys her age so remained a virgin, until my sister got this idea and asked me if I would be willing to "do her" the girl was georgeous and of course I said yes. I remember the night, she was scared to death and we had sex and as soon as she took a look and saw I was fully in her, she heaved a sigh of relief and I fuked her many times and she seemed to enjoy it. She said after 2 days that she loved me and we were great until about 11th. grade when she had sex with a high school boy in her class who was normal sized and she apparently really found out what a full on orgasm was all about and left me. I was devistated and wanted to die, but learned a lesson.


—Cool story there from [Juniorweewee]

18, tiny dick, hot bad girl sister sets me up with friend, I fucked the 13yr old with my tiny dick, om nom nom, lasts 'til she is in 11th grade regardless of the fact I was 18 at the beginning of the tryst, she found someone with a normal dick, I was devastated and wanted to die, but learned a lesson.


— The not tl;dr synopsis of that epic romance

Now our friend Juniorweewee has few posts all in all, but what he has is girthier than his tiny little member, but unfortunately, happens to be far less real.

User smallbutcute is a 24 year old Australian and an animu fanboi who likes the taste of his own cum. He wears tight denim shorts in order to make his dick shrink down even further. The burning question, is why?

Some of his more memorable quotes include

i also sit down when i pee, mostly becuase i wearing a skirt or a dress, i also wipe it like a girl too


— smallbutcute there, demonstrating that having a small penis is not at all emasculating.

I'm still a virgin at 24.


— Shocking!

I didn't come to this forum to shop for shoes


— No motherfucker, no you did not.

Does anyone know where I can order a dog tail butt plug?


— Hmmm, try Amazon

i do the self face shots sometime and drink my own cum, it has a nice taste to it :P


— A nice taste you say? Really?

i love it when girls see my tiny one, i love to know what they think of it


— I think i can probably tell you what most girls are thinking...


The main fetishes regarding small penises, or microphallises, to stick in a medical term in order to give weight to this ridiculous notion, usually slot quite neatly into three groups, each with their male and female/homo counterparts. These groups are as follows:

The unsung 4th group of penis psychology? Cool French wax.

Small Penis Worship[edit]

As its name suggest, this group consists of those who worship those with a small penis, and the men with said minidick. Understandably rare, the small penis worshiping woman may have various reasons for wanting a (usually fat and old) man with no observable manhood.

  • The woman may have been ræped, possibly by a big black cock, preferably violently. The resulting fear roots a penchant for things no more aggressive or bigger than baby mice.
  • She may want to experience the joy of making love whilst retaining a tightness not usually afforded the average whore.
  • She may be on really good commission.
  • If male, the adoring victim of a small penis may be trying to glorify his own member. The fart near a tramp method of demonstrable phallic insecurity.
  • Small cock = Childlike quality? Only you can decide

[...drew]'s opinion once again comes back to evolution in this thread on mytinydick forums, survival of the smallest maybe?

Small Penis Humiliation[edit]

"Now that's more fucking like it!" I hear you cry. Your resistance only makes my penis harder! The exciting world of Small Penis Humiliation. Well allow me to indroduce you to Mistress V, Mistress Dominique and many other "Mistresses" who want to rant at you for only $1.99 a minute. These horrendous women are utter shit, but the men who adore them, are where the lulz lie.

Could It Be You?[edit]

If you, like many boys out there, are unsure whether your manhood fits the bill, then please don't hesitate to get out a ruler, whip out the old fella' and size yourself up against some (surely trustworthy) people from some (unknown and unverified) study that this dude has definitely not just completely made up. C'mon guys, it'll be FUN!!


If they took the time to put it into a chart, then it must be true. Simple as.

Other Quotes[edit]

Spiderman has a very tiny dick.
The reason why no one has responded is because no one with a tiny dick has ever given a woman great sex. It may feel good for you, but no woman will ever be moaning your name and begging you to stop because you've short circuited her clit from too many mind blowing orgasms.


—Some chick named Valerie, stating the obvious.

i carefully gouged out her left eye (with my ring finger) and barely skull-fucked her


—GoochSauce4, attempting to troll

omg. what a fabulous cock there! one of the most perfect specimens, smaller than that puffy ball on the right! i think i just climaxed!


— My clit is bigger than your dick.

The dick is fine, that black chick just has a fucking huge vagina.



See Also[edit]

External Links[edit]

Portal sex.jpg

My Tiny Dick is part of a series on


Visit the Sex Portal for complete coverage.

My Tiny Dick is part of a series on Dying Alone

[DeadCry yourself to sleep]

Poemo.jpg Those Who Have Died Alone

Aaron SwartzAdam LanzaAlexis ArquetteAmanda ToddAmy WinehouseAnal CuntAndy KaufmanAngry GrandpaAnna Nicole SmithBill HicksBrandon CrispBrian AdamsCharmaine DragunChester BenningtonChloe SagalChris BenoitChristopher ClearyChris Harper-MercerChynaCodey PorterDavid BowieDavid CarradineDavid KatzDimebag DarrellEazy-EEdaremEdd GouldEdgar Allan PoeElliot RodgerElvis PresleyEmer PrevostEtikaGene RayGeorge CarlinGeorge SodiniGizgizHappyCabbieHarambeHeath LedgerJason BowenJeff WeiseJewWarioJim MorrisonJohn LennonKate SpadeKatelyn Nicole DavisKitty0706Kurt CobainLeelah AlcornLemonade CoyoteLil PeepLiloMegan MeierMichael JacksonMitchell HendersonMySpaceOtoya YamaguchiPekka-Eric AuvinenPrinceRandy StairRdtheproductionsRehtaeh ParsonsRicardo LopezRipperRobin WilliamsRudolph ZurickScout SchultzShawn WoolleyShayStan LeeStephen HawkingStephen HillenburgStephen PaddockSteve StephensTony48219TooDamnFilthyTupacTyler DumstorfVerne TroyerVester FlanaganVidmeWilliam AtchisonZippcast

Those Dying Alone

03bgood2cash2 gryphon7jackass77Adam SandlerAdam WanAhuviya HarelAIDS SkrillexAkewsticRockRAlex FordAlex HirschAtheistsAlex JonesAlison RappAmerica's Third PartyAmericanDad86Amy SchumerAngry Homo KidAngry JoeAniMatAnimatedJamesAnita SarkeesianAndrei ThomasAnonymous BorgAnthony 'A-Log' LoGattoAnthony ToneyAntony AguilarAnytownfagApril DavisAquagirlwhitefoxArgent009Arguecat3Ariana GrandeArin HansonArmake21AsalieriAsa CoonAsher2500Austin AlexanderAvantGardePonyBambifan101BarneyfagBasement DwellersBen FordBen MoynihanBenny_the_SnakeBenthelooneyBig RedBikerfoxBill9929Bill GaedeBill GatesBLACKbusterCriticBlood on the Dance FloorBlueCatRioluBob RehahnBrandontheMovieGuyBrandon SmithBrian MuellerBrianna WuBrokeNCYDEBroniesBrucesnoopButLovaByAppointmentToCarl the CuckCartoonjunkieCaseydeckerCheeyevChibiyimaChi-Chan24Chris-chanChris CrockerChuck M.Clint of Rise and FallCloudyEggsCNNCopperCabCorey MargeraCoughlan666CrazyvideosandrantsCrinklemonDaniel BrandtDan CilleyDane CookDani FilthDani_WillowDarius McCollumDarknessthecurseDarksydePhilDaron NefcyDave ChapelleDave Mustaine David CleggDavid HockeyDaxflameDBoyWheelerDeekerDeterminedToDrawUTDev-catscratchDGTrixieDiaper BoyDisneyFan01DisneyMasterDJ KEEMSTARDLAbaoaquDnepropetrovsk maniacsDon RobertsDoodletonesDoomer3868Doopie DoOverDoopie DoOver/PeopleDorian_GayDoug WalkerDragoneerDrakondrp1zzaDustinEdray1416EmosEpic Fat GuyEpicKitty54Eric AbramovEric RidenourErik RibsskogErik "Tazman" MokracekExoParadigmGamerFilthy FrankFagolescentsFanFic CriticFast EddieFat ManFaust & Pory Five Nights at Freddy's fansFlardoxFluffy teh wolfForeverKailynFriends of A-LogFurriesG-ZayGather Against FateGeorge LopezGhostGirlvinylGoddessMilleniaGreg MazujianGwen GaleGwen StefaniHarmful OpinionsHellkiller777Hozupindahows00sI Dislike Cis PeopleI Hate EverythingIan Miles Cheongicze⁴rImma-The-DeerInkBunnyInSaNe-REYNARDJames HolmesJamil The KingJennifer BaquingJessi SlaughterJessica LeedsJim ProfitJinuSenpaiJoe Crusher PicklesJoekerJoeysworldtourJohn BullaJohn FieldJohn KricfalusiJohn Patrick RogersJonathan McIntoshJonTronJoseph CampJoseph8276JoshU2uberJoshua "Null" MoonJuggalosJustinandDennisJustinRPGKaBlamBandicoot64Karamatsugirllover92Kat DenningsKathleen ToddKendall JennerKenny GlennKero The WolfKevin HavensKimmo Johan AlmKingEmpoleonKingMasterReviewKittenBellNSFWKothorixKphoriaKrashedKurt EichenbaldLarry the Cable GuyLauren FaustLeafyIsHereLecarickLeigh AlexanderLeisureSuitGamingLena DunhamLeonard F. Shaner Jr.Les SixLeslie JonesLifeInATentLikeicareLinkaraLittleCloudLittleKuribohLordelthibarLowti3rgodLucian HodobocM. ChaosMajira StrawberryA Man in BlackManchildrenMarblesMariotehplumberMarjan SiklicMatrooko11Matthew DavisMatthew NicholsonMaxtaroMcJuggerNuggetsMDetector5‎MeganSpeaksMeowbarkMeta527IIMichael BattonMichael BayMichael FitzhywelMichael GimsonMike SandymindoutofsyncMiss ScarlettMoleman9000Monica PunkMonkeyGameGuidesMoviebobMSNBCMumkey JonesMuZemikeMylarBalloonFanMysteriousMrEnterMysticArkNaokoElric2250Nascar221Natalie PortmanNathan GaleNawlinWikiNeckbeardsNeoGAFNick BateNick BravoNihilistic SnakeNikkineko333Noah AntwilerNostalgia ChickNotchNullcherriOFWGKTAOnyx ForepawPaigeGirlParkourdude91Paul FeigPaulie CalafiorePeter CoffinPhantomStrider8Phil FishPhunWithLogicPinkieponyPit ViperPixyteriPMRantsPreachingthegospelProfessor KuhtoonsQuentin TarantinoRachael MacFarlaneRandi HarperRebecca SugarRebelTaxiRicki RavenRina-ChanRMG ProductionsRobert Wayne StilesRockosockoRomeo RoseRootbrianRose3212Ross LumbusSad FrogSam HydeSam PepperSammyClassicSonicFanSarah ButtsSarah SilvermanSarahisniftySaturnDOSSceptreSchnookumsSega KidSegacampSeth MacFarlaneSethistoShadmanSimply OkamiSlowbeef & DiabetusSnapesnoggerSolidMarioSonmanicSonofOdin29Sons of KojimaSony-MaeSONYFANBOYSophie LabelleSoulja BoySpax3SpiderfanStephen SampleSteven PruittStormySuperlisamcbSuperMarioLoganSuper Planet DolanSusan BoyleSusan J. ElliottTara StrongTempleOSThatKidDouglasTheAmazingAtheistTheDOSFagThe rEactorTheSockDetectiveTimboxTim BuckleyTJ LaneTMossBossToby J RathjenTodd in the ShadowsTom PrestonToonEGuyTourneyfagsTranime GirlTrey Eric SeslerTrigglypuffTyciolTyler GarmanyUlillilliaThe Unknown AutobotUrinatingTreeUwe BollVadeVinceintheBayVideo game reviewersViolette1stWade FulpWeatherManKevinWeegeeisgoingtokillmWesley!!!WingsofRedemptionWinona RyderWoWfan4lifeWwwareaYoshiwii1YandereDevYouyoungbloodfantasy91Zoe QuinnZone

Their Methods

9gagAdventure TimeAn HeroAIDSAnimuAlt-rightArt SchoolA-Log's Fanfictionask.fmAsperger's SyndromeAssigned MaleAtheismBath SaltsThe Big Bang TheoryBattle For Dream IslandBlackLivesMatterBlack metalBody PillowsBitViewBoozeBullyingBuzzFeedChildren's CartoonsClown WorldComputer Science IIICosplayCumOnPrintedPics.ComCupheadDead FriendDeath metalDeath penaltyDating SimsDeviantARTDiscordDrugsEdginessFamily GuyFanFictionFeminismFedoraFidget spinner The Filthy Frank ShowFive Nights at Freddy'sFleshlightFriend ZoneFurAffinity Furry ArtGarry's ModGoAnimate!GooglewhackingGorillazGothsGravity FallsGreen DayGreeny PhatomGrindcoreHackingHappy Madison ProductionsHomestuck‎Hover hand‎HufflepuffHigh ScoreIndie musicInfantilismInsane Clown PosseInvisible GirlfriendIRCJenkemKiwi FarmsKotakuLeague of LegendsLegoLibertarianismLiveJournalLonelyLoveShyMai WaifuMen's rights activismMinecraftMLP ForumsMMORPGsMGTOWMUDsMy Little PonyMy Tiny DickNarutoNice GuyismNu metalOculus RiftOh ShiternetOnline datingOnline sex gamesOverwatchPAW PatrolPlastic CrapPlenty of FishPolandballPunk rock/r9k/Rick and MortyRobloxRule 34RuneScapeSecond LifeSelf-VictimizationShy Boys IRLSilk Screen Goku ShirtSkaSlayerSlipknotSluthateSmogon UniversitySocial JusticeSource FilmmakerSouth ParkSparkalloonSpeakoniaStar vs. the Forces of EvilSteven UniverseTaking the Internet Too SeriouslyTeam Fortress 2That Guy With The GlassesThe Anytown ShowThe EntersphereThe SimsThey Might Be GiantsTomb RaiderToolTransformersTulpasTumblrTV TropesUnchartedUncle GrandpaUncyclopediaUndertaleUnikittyVidLiiVirginityVirtual YoutubersVloggerheadsWatchMojo.comWeezerWikimaniaWizardchanWorld of WarcraftYouTube


My Tiny Dick is part of a series on


Visit the Sites Portal for complete coverage.

Featured article January 20, 2010
Preceded by
Dick Neck
My Tiny Dick Succeeded by