NIU Valentine's Day Massacre
- 1 The perpetrator
- 2 A message from you, Steveo?
- 3 The Polack's Father Speaks!
- 4 Trivia
- 5 Quotes
- 6 Dog Mongler and Child Abuser?!
- 7 The pwnt; the victims
- 8 Possible motive?
- 9 UIUC Drama!
- 10 More UIUC Drama
- 11 Possible warning signs
- 12 Possible warning signs II: The Quickening
- 13 Video games being blamed?
- 14 ZOMG GUN CONTROL!!!!11
- 15 SCIFAGS DID NIU?
- 16 His (ugly) girlfriend
- 17 Graded Score
- 18 See Also
- 19 Resources
The Northern Illinois University Valentine's Day Massacre seemed to come from a parallel universe. Steven Phillip Kazmierczak entered a side door at approximately 3:00 pm CST near the front of an introductory oceanography class in a large lecture hall with 150 to 200 students and began to fire gunshots. The gunman was reported to be a thin, white male wearing a long, black trench coat and a black beanie. Word on the street is he was a sociology major, that had something against the ocean. The gunman walked onto stage and opened fire. 18 people were shot before the gunman shot himself. Many victims were shot in the head, with at least three of the victims in critical condition, eight in stable condition and five in
good dead condition.
The guy might have been butthurt over the fact that it's V-Day and instead of masturbating using his tears as lube he decided to pwn some students instead. This is argued to be the latest attempt to break Cho's score at V-Tech. Too bad he failed miserably.
It must be noted that he didn't quite do it for the lulz. He did it for the luvz <3.
By the way, VDAY JUST KICKED IN YO!
It's reported that the gunman was a current student of sociology at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. He had received the Dean's award from NIU in 2006. According to the NIU sociology website, coupled with the information provided in the Chicago Tribune article, the shooter can be identified as Steven Kazmierczak, which is also confirmed by the academic paper referenced , "Self-Injury In Correctional Settings: "Pathology" of Prisons or of Prisoners?", co-authored by Jim Thomas. Kazmierczak was a graduate student at the School of Social Work, University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, who had received the NIU Dean's Award in 2006; he was Vice-President of the NIU Academic Criminal Justice Association in 2005 and had written on prison conditions and the U.S. correctional system. Local police and students who called local radio stations reported that the gunman was carrying two handguns and a shotgun. One of the handguns was believed to be a Glock, the other a small caliber handgun. The small-caliber handgun has not yet been recovered. Some argue Kazmierczak was a passive-aggresive closet case.
Some information that leaked on U of I's online directory, which quickly got deleted.
- alias: skazmie2
- name: Kazmierczak Steven Phillip
- pretty_name: Steven Phillip Kazmierczak
- first_name: Steven
- middle_name: Phillip
- last_name: Kazmierczak
- email: firstname.lastname@example.org
- student_department_name: School of Social Work
- student_program_name: MSW:Social Work -UIUC
- student_level_description: Graduate - Urbana-Champaign
- student_major_name: Social Work
- phone: (815) 508-2416 DON'T FORGET TO LEAVE A MESSAGE FOR HIM IN HELL
address: 1207 W. Oregon
- M/C 140
- Urbana, IL 61801
office_address: 1207 W. Oregon
- M/C 140
- Urbana, IL 61801
- title: ACADEMIC HOURLY
- department: School of Social Work
- type: person phone student staff
Steve had an odd habit of collecting jobs with a high probability of rectal trauma and proceeding to fuck up at them. Some examples of these jobs are being in the military but getting kicked out before completing basic training, and working at a women's correctional facility where he managed to endure about three weeks of pegging before deciding to never come back.
A message from you, Steveo?
I Hope You Read This, Melissa 1st of all, what have i EVER done to you? its obvious you have issues. anyone who knows you knows at least that. but more importantly, what have i ever done? the last time we hung out was great. i dont get it. unfortunately i didnt see your goodbye entry to me before you deleted it or something. by the way, why IS it gone? it couldn't be because your argument was completely idiotic, and later when you tell others about this make sure u dont tell them i said you were idiotic; just your argument was. you are angry with me because i didn't tell you about christine, am i right? well here is my rebuttal (forgive me for the spelling): i dont need permission from you to date people. i dont ever remember promising to tell you when i liked someone, but that should be no surprise to you because if you ever knew me you know i have a terrible memory. even if i did promise that, it shouldnt matter. you found out about us going out BEFORE I TOLD ANYONE! BEFORE I EVEN GOT BACK FROM THE BAND TRIP!!!! besides we have been broken up for many months now. i know you have problems with ex-bfs but its not like i left you to go out with her like someone else i know. and its not like i've fucked a bunch of people since weve broken up like another person i know. heres the bottom line: i think your argument is absolutely absurd. but i am not willing to give up on our friendship for something as silly as this. please respond to this and remember that this is about your argument , not you, so dont take offense.
assumed to be posted over 2 years ago
- http://skazmie.livejournal.com/ Be careful; this Livejournal is super buggy and might have something on it - but it's most likely Steve's.
The Polack's Father Speaks!
When reporters descended upon the single-story house of Steve's father, Robert Kazmierczak, the butthurt and sobbing Lakeland, Florida bitch only had one comment to make:
- The shooter is an Hero and there is
18 75 ( 6 including himself4 after suicide penalty) confirmed kills.
- Only 28 moar to top Cho on the leader-board!
- Upheld Illinois' fine tradition in failing to come in first in anything.
- Fun fact: This is the FOURTH school shooting THIS WEEK ALONE! Included, a double murder/suicide at Louisiana Technical College in Baton Rouge, a shooting in Memphis that left one phys-ed student dead, and a shooting in Oxnard, CA that left one student
in an unenviable, Terri Schiavo situationdead and has been called a haet crime. Not a single one of the shootings has hit double-digit fatalities yet. Newfags.
- According to his LJ account his interests include ☠, 1337 and h4xxx0r5.
- The friendly folks over at God Hates Fags have already planned to picket the various funerals, memorials and vigils. You got to respect them for one thing, they do work pretty fast for a bunch of inbred rednecks.
- HOLY FUCK ALERT!!! Cho Seung-Hui and Stephen Kazmierczak bought guns/accessories from the same fucktard, Eric Thompson. Steveo bought 2 mags and a Glock holster from Top Glocks and the Blazn Azn bought a Walther 22 from him. Eric Thompson is shocked, but that won't stop him from using the hundred or so bucks Steveo gave him to buy delicious CP.
- Let's hope the next shooter doesn't figure out that Eric also owns AR15Pro.com a website that sells the Counter-Strike worthy AR15. Oh, Eric also sells "chocolate ammo", for when shooting your ex-girlfriend seven times in the face doesn't say "I love you" quite right.
—Steve; found on this LJ
—Steveo on the extremely difficulties of LJ
Dog Mongler and Child Abuser?!
—http://forum.watmm.com/lofiversion/index.php/t6876.html The OP's name is supposedly Jim Schaefer. And he is a total cock.
This hasn't stopped ABC news from using this poster's opinion like the blessed word of Raptor Jesus in an article that fucks the corpse of all the rest of the news coverage out there. ABC also seems to use the exact same sources as we have at ED, just at a later time than us - this is just proof that ED makes the best primary source material for all your research needs.
Further gayness has erupted from this situation as the writer of this steaming pile of crap is now suffering from an eruption of unwarranted self-importance. He can now be seen screaming "Look at me! I'm Important!" in his forum profile, which also contains most of his contact information. Also proof this news story is asshole bait.
—OP dickwitch chimes
— OP's boss gives a response in the original thread. Uh oh, seems like someone's got a thing for the jaibait!
Oh, but it doesn't end here. Thanks to the majick of modern communications, people have come out of the woodwork to let the entire world know how much of a dumbfuck the OP is. This might be a rare pot of jew gold at the end of the rainbow.
— Comment on a blog recording the drama for posterity by one of the OP's friends.
- Forum commentary started by the OP looking to get his e-peen stroked to completion. Look for
epic win andepic fail in large amounts.
- Apparently everyone in his hometown of Elk Grove Village thinks the OP and his faggot friends are a pack of douches. And they ain't afraid to say it.
- ABC - Proudly enabling retards since 1943.
- Pirates Cove - Innocent Children's Theme Park or Breeding Ground for Psychopathic Murderers and Faggotry?
- Truth? On My Internets? It's moar likely than you think
- OMGWTFBBQ - Jim Schaeffer is a Scientologist!
- What the myspace of a famous rapper looks like.
- "even if he's a spectacular failure, it's going to be one hell of a ride"
- "it's been approximately 9-10+ years, and he's still not written a cohesive track or attempted any sort of serious stepping out into the spotlight."
For your viewing/Myspace trolling pleasure...
- Ryanne Mace - 19 yo psych major with a terminal case of both internet disease and lead poisoning. Sun Times with fat girl angle shot
- Said to have returned to her high school to watch school events. Sort of like that crazy drunk homeless guy who touches himself behind the bleachers. Also a good indication that she was so scorned at her college that she had to come home to her podunk shitrag high school just to feel accepted.
- Daniel Parmenter, 20 - Phi Kappa Alpha fratboy
- Called his mom only a few hours before he got fucking annihilated to wish his mom a happy Valentine's Day.
- Played rugby just to grab on some man-ass.
- "We have all the confidence that he is with God now," says the father. Perhaps someone will inform the cumdumpsters over at GodHatesFags that they are mistaken?
- Gayle Dubowski, 20
- Mexican, 20
- Daughter of wetback, immigrant parents. Thankfully, she won't be taking up a job that a more qualified white man would have been passed over for thanks to affirmative action. Fucking win.
- Website put together by said wetback's gangbanger brother (or at least his frat). I mean, fuck me, you really can't make this shit up
- TRIVIA: Second most attractive victim (saying even less).
- Juliana Gehant, 32 - Elementary Education major
- Was in the Army, but was pressured to leave by her family because of the escalating war in the Middle East. College was obviously a lot safer. Facepalm.
- Fiance was pwnt by a car and she was just "overcoming her depression." Something tells me that won't be much of a problem anymore...
- TRIVIA: Probably not only the ugliest dead woman of the lot, but the ugliest woman at the entire college (and that says an awful lot).
Last Thursday some guy, possibly the shooter wrote racist shit on a wall.
Of course the faggot used txt speak and no one took him seriously...until now.
—Shepard Smith Fox News
Like most negros he was late....two months late.
According to CNN, nigras were fleeing the campus like looters in New Orleans.
90% chance this was carried out by enraged Wikipedo hitmen in response to the butthurt caused by the Zoe / Professor Tim Pierce vandalism war. I mean, how many fucking professors could there be at a shitty, black person infested school like NIU?
FROM : Chancellor Richard Herman SENT : 15 February 2008 07:47 TO : [FUCKING EVERYONE (literally)] SUBJECT : MASSMAIL - Shooting at NIU The University has learned that U of I student has been identified as the gunman in a fatal shooting at Northern Illinois University that left seven people dead and more than a dozen more injured. The entire University of Illinois family extends its deepest condolences to the friends and family of the victims, and to everyone on the Northern Illinois University campus affected by today's tragedy. Counselors from the U of I are enroute to DeKalb to assist NIU's staff. And we will continue to offer whatever assistance we can. In the days to come it is important for all of us in the Illinois community to come together to express our feelings concerning this horrible tragedy and to share the grief that follows. We can expect to feel a wide range of emotions. That is why I strongly encourage any U of I faculty, staff or student who feels the need to seek counseling as a result of this tragic incident to contact the Counseling Center. Please remember that we are a community and, as such, we must continue to care for each other. And, in dark moments such as these, we must turn toward each other, not away. Richard Herman Chancellor This mailing approved by: The Office of the Chancellor --
Translation: We fucked up. Sorry NIU. :'(
More UIUC Drama
FROM : Chancellor Richard Herman DATE : 15 février 2008 16:38 TO : [FUCKING EVERYONE (again)] SUBJECT : MASSMAIL - Memorial Vigil/Northern Illinois Tragedy TO: Members of the Campus Community FROM: Richard Herman, Chancellor Justin Randall, President, Illinois Student Senate On Monday, February 18, the University of Illinois is hosting a campus/community vigil that will begin at 9:00 p.m. on the north end of the Quad in the wake of the February 14 shootings at Northern Illinois University. The memorial vigil will enable the campus community to express solidarity for our colleagues at Northern Illinois University. A threat to any campus community undermines the educational environment which we strive to protect. Our deepest condolences go out to the families of the victims of the tragedy at Northern Illinois University. We are especially saddened that a member of our campus community would commit such a violent and horrific act. We will come together not only to lament the losses that were suffered at Northern, but also to renew our commitment to ensuring an environment where students, faculty and staff can live, learn and work without being threatened by the rage and hostility of others.
Translation: No, seriously, we really fucked up. :','(
Possible warning signs
The campus was shut down for a day in December 2007, during exam week, after graffiti was found on a restroom wall warning of a possible shooting. A spokesman said that the warning, which was discovered December 10, made reference to the Virginia Tech massacre, which killed 32 people at Virginia Tech on April 16, 2007. At that time that an unknown person posted the graffiti in the Grant Towers D residence hall, and that the graffiti included a racial slur and the notation, “What time? The VA tech shooters messed up w/ having only one shooter.”
Possible warning signs II: The Quickening
Video games being blamed?
Jack Thompson, the Daily Show's Senior School Shooting Expert. Watch and be amazed as Jack manages to rehash everything he's ever said in the history of his career AND manage to completely ignore the anchor-person's question in its entirety.
you mean to tell me video games are simulatorz? tellz me moarrrrrrrrr!!!!@11
And the anchorperson's comments at the end are pretty lulzy. Apparently he's never heard of good ol' Jack.
ZOMG GUN CONTROL!!!!11
SCIFAGS DID NIU?
His (ugly) girlfriend
Prior to dying, Steve mailed off some packages to Jessica. Included in them were some bizzare shit, like Nietzsche and textbooks on serial killers, and a note (non-suicide related). However, if he was a true b-tard, he would have sent her thousands of spam and anchovy pizzas.
|Kill count:||5/20 21 injured|
|Style:||18/20 Presented the ultimate school play, on stage!|
|Butthurt:||14/20 Moderate shitstorm nationwide, for 15 minutes|
|Bonus:||20/20 Doing it, fgt|
|Total Score: 70/100 (C)|
See full ranking
- School Shooting
- Robert Hawkins
- Lindsay Kantha Souvannarath - tried to commit another massacre on Valentine's day, 2015. Failed horribly and is now v& for life!
- Asa Coon - another failure
- Cho Seung Hui - the ultimate college athlete!
*Steveo's Info !CENSORED
- Steveo's LJ - approach carefully; the script is buggy
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