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A Nazi, or National Socialist, is a member of the Nationalsozialistischen Deutschen Arbeiterpartei religion and a follower of its ideology. Nazis came to power in Germany at least 100 years ago under the wise leadership of Adolf Hitler. For teh lulz, they went and took over Europe and allegedly killed over 6,000,000,000,000 Untermenschen. Chances are if a loser, buttfucking person like you lived in Germany around that time, then you would be rightfully pawned as well, especially if you are a kike, fag, nigga, retard, or fattie. Because of this, Nazis are pure good and you must show your support of all things Nazi at every given opportunity. If anyone shows the slightest interest in the Third Reich in history or National Socialism as a political theory, or even spiffy uniforms, you must assist them in any way possible.
Could you imagine what type of shit hole we would be living in if they hadn't killed all those Jews? There would be Jews everywhere! Lets be nice and say only six million were killed (which wasn't enough), they would have multiplied like Asian bunnies. It is a known fact that Jews are cause of all the world's problems. We would be driving flying cars powered by the earth energy, no Ben Stiller movies, and maybe you wouldn't be so fucking poor along with knowing the fact that when shit hits the fan and the world is bout to be fucked; that there's some Jew kyke basterds in a space ship sipping kosher bud light because their ancestors spent their entire time on earth trying to JEW YOU HARD.
- 1 Instructions
- 2 Nazi ideology
- 3 Famous Nazis
- 4 Online Nazis
- 5 Contemporary (Neo) Nazis
- 6 Nazi achievements
- 7 Culturally acceptable Nazis
- 8 Other ways to be a Nazi
- 9 Trolling with Nazis
- 10 How to troll Nazis
- 11 Videos
- 12 Gallery
- 13 See also
- 14 External links
- Invoke an internal and external enemy.
- Create secret prisons where torture takes place.
- Develop a thug caste or paramilitary force not answerable to citizens.
- Set up an internal surveillance system.
- Harass citizens' groups.
- Engage in arbitrary detention and release.
- Target key individuals.
- Control the press.
- Preheat oven to 1,200° Fahrenheit.
- Treat all political dissidents as traitors.
- Suspend the rule of law.
During the 1920s and 1930s Homosexuality was dubbed the "German Vice". The Nazi party and especially the Schutzstaffel (SS) attracted young Aryan homosexuals to join their lines and cover it up with BS politics. The Nazi party therefore became the biggest gay organization in Europe. (Gay rights were invented in Nazi Germany, as were animal and furry rights, and the lack of rights for smokers.) To cover up their faggotry, they had to kill men as much as they fuck them. This was convenient, as a scapegoat could serve both the gay mafia and the general populace's demand for redemption, as follows:
It's the Jews' fault. All of it. Lose a war? Jews. Country in a massive economic depression? Jews. Can't escape this overwhelming feeling of powerlessness and futility? Jews. Michael Jackson die? Jews. Step in some dog crap? Jew dog. It's all simple. The only effective weapon against the Jewish threat is the righteous Aryan nations rallying under . Hitler is awesome and Hitler will solve all your problems.
The only flaw in killing the Jews was the gas chamber. If Hitler didn't use the gas chamber, but chopped the corpses into Eukanuba, who knows how much money he could have earned. Maybe he could have gotten rid of another lesser race like the niggers. If he wiped out all the niggers, then maybe we wouldn't deal with the shit that niggers make.
To properly live as a Nazi, one must constantly wear the right sexy uniform. Men must be clean, live well and be totally not gay. To show how proud they are of their white skin, they should mark it all up in a mass of black ugly tattoos of swastikas, SS, Hitler, runic letter Z, dumbass numerical c0dez for secret slogans like "14-7" and "88", shamrocks, and whatever other shit they can come up with to cover up all the white bits until nobody can tell they belong to an inferior race just by looking at them. Women must make healthy Aryan babies. Lots and lots of healthy Aryan babies. Women have only one good hole so they should keep it in top shape!
Nazis founded a political ideology of and Antisemitism, Anticommoonism, and far-right doctrine that on paper sounded utterly retarded. However, by implementing free market capitalistic ideas as government-sponsored economic programs, government-sponsored development of infrastructure, government ideological indoctrination groups, and government-sponsored violent coercion, the Nazis were able to unite Germany around it. As in reality Communism does not work, everyone knows that the Nazis really rebuilt the economy by redistributing all the gold they stole from the Jews.
Put your left-wing out, do the hokey pokey
While many believe the Nazis were far-right extremists, they were also indisputably left-wing extremists. Besides the obvious, they were socialists who hated capitalism. Now this might seem fucking obvious to anyone who ever considered the deeper meaning behind National Socialist Party and the bit where the Nazis wanted to redistribute all the phat loots from the Jews. But obviously, politics is very complicated. The confusion isn't helped by the fact people are fucking stupid, we're living in the Matrix, and lizard men control the earth. These lizard men are waiting for the one true thinker to arise—this person, be they man, woman, or furry, will answer this haunting enigma so we can all go home, and they can get back to resurrecting Hitler as Microsoft Hitler 3.1.
Himmler was the Reichsführer of the SS and all of its aspects. No successful organization is complete without a totally obsessed, hard-working aspie and Heinrich Himmler was Hitler's favorite aspie. His hobbies included gardening, Neo-Pagan mysticism, serving his Führer, and genocide. Before joining the Nazis he farmed chikkinz, LOL. Some suspect he had chinky eyes and was secretly part gook, but who knows?
Axmann was the second leader of the Hitler Youth (Reichsjugendführer) from 1940 to 1945. Born in Hagen on 18 February 1913. He studied law and in 1928, founded the first Hitler Youth group in Westphalia.
Bormann was the personal secretary to the Führer, and as such had total control of his life: Every piece of information and request that went to the Führer was vetted by him - and every order out was too, and was called by some the real Führer. STFU, BORMANN, NOBODY LIKES YOU. Some people believe that he went missing, others say that right about the end, his Führer got scared And said, "You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air."
Goebbels was the propaganda Minister and official emo child of the 3rd Reich. A long mysterious childhood illness left him with a limp and standing only about 5 ft. tall and weighing only about 100 pounds soaking wet, thus making him ideal for storing in tight spaces as well as totally and unrepentantly KAWAII. He was totally ghey for , so much so that together they proved their emosity and made a suicide pact that just so happened to also include Goebbels's wife and six kids.
Göring, after becoming a major aviation hero in the First World War, joined the National Socialist movement, pissed off the government, and got briefly exiled to Sweden. There, he got addicted to morphine and became a raging fatass. He returned to Germany and became president of the Reichstag under Hitler and Field Marshall of one of the greatest air forces in history and still got pwned by the RAF.
Heydrich was the chief of the Gestapo and SD spy network. He was and still is considered by many to be the symbol of the perfect Nazi. He was tall, handsome, and very very Aryan; an accomplished violinist and fencer, and all-around alpha male who would sleep with your girlfriend and have you arrested for faggotry. Also the one prominent Nazi who very likely may have been part Jew. LOL, irony. Actually, this makes sense because Heydrich had a knack for orchestrating fake attacks for his own personal political gain.
Priebke was a Hauptsturmführer in Italy, particularly Rome. When 33 Nazi's were killed by a resistance movement called the Italian Resistance Priebke applied a rule in which ten Jews were killed for every killed Nazi, ten times 33 being 330, he didn't kill 330, but 335! OMFG. This created mass butthurt amongst people who weren't born in the war but still did care. After the losing the war, he fled to Argentinia where he lived for about fifty years. But after this time people were still butthurt and didn't forget about the World War, even when they weren't born in it or were as old to remember it, so they prosecuted an 81-year-old man to gain satisfaction.
Pappa J-Kramer was Commandant of the Bergen-Belson concentration camp. He had the sickest nick-name, which was "The Beast of Belsen" although Kramer was naughty and was responsible for the deaths of thousands. He was a Nazi war criminal. He was born in Munich and he joined the Nazi Party in 1931 also before Bergen-Belsen he was a Hauptsturmfuhrer of Auschwitz and was in charge of the gas chambers. When Bergen Belsen was liberated by the tea-drinkers, he actual gave them a tour around the camp, he was then arrested. They say he was trailed and hanged for his war crimes. They are wrong. He later on went to become the popular character Kramer in a famous American sitcom called Seinfeld.
Braun was Hitler's personal Jewish faghag.
Can be exploited for trolling Nazis for great Lulz.
Hess was the King of eyebrows. He was Hitler's right-hand man up until the eve of the invasion of Russia when he decided to fly to England and try negotiating a peace settlement without telling anybody. Hitler was not amused. The next time Hess made a major public appearance he was on trial at Nuremberg, counting his fingers repetitively and laughing at inappropriate moments.
Blondi was Hitler's canine companion. Proof that getting a dog doesn't always work. This also fueled rumors about Hitler preferring furries to his wife Eva. More rumors also state that Blondi was actually a fur coat for his beloved Mudkips.
Claus Philipp Maria Schenk Graf von Stauffenberg
Claus Schenk Graf von Stauffenberg was a
German army officer Jew. With a totally sweet eyepatch, he quickly became one of the Third Reich's most feared men. Unfortunately, he became butthurt when Hitler tried to turn Germany something he did not like, so he hatched a treasonous plot to kill Hitler with a bomb in a briefcase left at one of Hitler's strategy meetings. This was easier said than done, because Stauffenberg was missing his right hand and had only three fingers on his left hand, which would have made fapping extremely hard. Unfortunately, some oblivious douche kicked the briefcase and the explosion was fucked up so that Hitler only lost his pants, and not his life. Long story short, someone ratted Stauffenberg out, and he was hunted down and pwned by firing squad the day after the July 20 plot.
In the end, all Stauffenberg managed to accomplish was to murder an innocent stenographer and fail in his ultimate mission. Despite that, he is celebrated in Germany today, even though he was a colossal failure.
Mengele was a true pioneer in doing it for the lulz. Young Josef Mengele (also known as Mengy-kun, Bishie Queen Of The SS) was a new doctor happily working away at his genetic research when suddenly the evil spewing from his magnificent toothy gap told him it would be fun to go mutilate Jews in the name of science. Because of his hard work and dedication, the world now knows that you cannot change someone's eye color by injecting them with bleach, that sitting in cold water for a long time will indeed kill you slowly, that people die when you rip out their organs, and that just because you've sewn them together doesn't mean they're Siamese twins.
Contemporary (Neo) Nazis
Back in the day, Nazis were supposed to be the apex of humanity. They were educated, cultured and dignified. However, nowadays, neo nazis are the second most backward class of mankind after niggers. If you come across a neo nazi, they are likely to resemble these fine, genetically superior examples of humanity:
Modern day Nazis and their assorted brethren make for astounding targets for trolling. Dealing with the fact that they have been largely reduced to hapless anachronisms, they tend to band together for shelter in the far corners of the Internet, such as on sites like Daily Stormer, Stormfront and other FBI honeypots. That, plus they're mostly a bunch of drunken degenerate idiots who are absolutely convinced that they are 100% right and will quite loudly tell you how right they are. They often fail to realize that racism is a learned behavior, not a deep-seated biological survival instinct, and presenting them with any genetic and racial science newer then 1965 will cause them to promptly shit brix and go into an autistic fit of Righteous Aryan Rage.
Whereas the original Nazis actually maintained their Germanic culture, celebrating, appreciating and reveling in German art, literature and music, modern day Nazis get their culture by listening to a lot of shitty White Power Rock'n'Roll. Never mind the fact that rock'n'roll is essentially African-American folk music borrowed by the White Man, and that "borrowing" something from another culture is the purest definition of multiculturalism, and that Hitler devoted an entire chapter of Mein Kampf describing how the degradation of Aryan culture would lead to the extinction of the white man.
Often, modern Nazis will tell you how they are not about hate. Because trying to form an All-White purified European culture and exterminating any non-whites or people who disagree with you is all about love and tolerance.
— National Alliance front page, basically admitting to inbreeding with close relatives
— Nazi Kid on Jews
2 of 3 Nazi Übermensch are actually Jewish. Boris Becker and Scarlett Johansson Pathetic aryans.
Sacred Heart Preparatory School, a christian school in Chiang Mai found out a way to cosplay without dressing up like bargirl versions of pop-cultural characters. How? By dressing up like nazis, of course:
Heil SpongeBob Squarepants! Innocent aryan sungod of the east!
Nazis ruled Germany for ten years, yet their only long lasting achievement which benefited their race was the production of the Volkswagen Beetle (Which is pretty shit anyway and the blueprints are from Czechoslovakia which the Nazis stole, that means they're also stealing Jews). The Nazis also managed to create the lulziest war ever, and managed to get a high score of 6,000,000 kills, but was defeated by the final boss Russia. The Russians then proceeded to deport sixteen million Prussians from their stolen third of Germany... in cattle trains and using them as extras impersonating yids for the production of the Schindler's List. After the Worldwide success of the film everything Nazi became culturally frowned upon; with the following exceptions.
Culturally acceptable Nazis
- Alfred Rosenberg – Philanthropist.
- David von Gurion – heavy duty runway.
- Herbert von Karajan – Too long; didn't listen.
- Leni Riefenstahl – Scuba diver, photographer, hot bitch, gerontological proof of Aryan superiority.
- Wernher von Braun – Nazis in space!
- Kurt Waldheim – A Nazi who actually ran the whole world
- Pope Benedict XVI – Nazi pope
- Hugo Boss (see right)
Other ways to be a Nazi
- Grammar Nazi
- Nazi Fur
- Pants Nazi
- Scientology (wait...did we just Godwinded Scientology? Way to fucking go Anon...)
- Secret Nazi
- Wikipedian - Promoter of fascism and "improvement of the project" over self-esteem.
Trolling with Nazis
- Say you're interested in National Socialism as a political philosophy.
- That Hitler was right.
- That Hitler was great.
- Act like you're a Nazi but claim to be totally against their ideas.
- Suggest that the estimated 6 million dead may be exaggerated.
- Go to YouTube. Search a documentary on the Holocaust and comment "Happy New Year from Germany".
- Point out that there were more non-Jews killed by the Nazis in their "ethnic cleansing" plan than Jews. (You'll be accused of being an antisemitic Nazi yourself. Sense. It makes none.)
- Mention that the Nazis actually did do a few good things for Germany (building the autobahn, saving the country from complete economic collapse, restoring national pride, etc.)
- Put a swastika somewhere.
- Do something vaguely Nazi-ish.
- Shaving your head automatically makes you a Nazi suspect.
- Explain how Hitler was damn good at motivating people to do his bidding.
- Point out that the Nazis, especially the SS, had the best uniforms ever.
- Accuse someone of being a Nazi and/or compare their actions to those of the Nazis.
- srsly, do something with Nazis that isn't 100% NAZIS R BAD and just watch the flames come rolling in.
- Create a Failbook Fan-Page for your local Nazi member of Parliament, and laugh when they try and sue your broke ass!
- State that as of June 2016, it is a legally-determined fact that IRL pwning one Jew will only get you 15 minutes of jailtime.
Typical response to trolling with Nazis
All of these quotes were taken exclusively from the comments in.
How to troll Nazis
- Invalidate hierarchy
- Talk about your happy and successful interracial relationship. Be sure to post pictures.
- Talk about your happy and successful homosexual relationship. Be sure to post pics. (Doesn't count if you're not white)!
- Say you're a Communist or Marxist: the other evil.
- Say the Republican party and Christian churches don't like them.
- Tell them that most neo-Nazis have an IQ of 85, so they're no different from a nigga.
- Tell them that they are inbred.
- Remind them the real Aryans are Iranian/Indian people (again this proves Nazis have low IQs).
- Remind them the Swastika is an symbol Hitler stole again from the real Aryans.
- Tell them Iran stands for the "Land of the Aryans".
- Tell them Jews are superior people and own everything including the world.
- Mention that the fact that all White girls have a innate, insatiable craving for a big black cawk that no white man can satisfy.
- Ask their opinion on Barack Obama. Bonus points if you get them arrested for making terrorist threats!
- Inform them that the Nazis were Marxist/Socialist and that Hitler, like Marx, was just a self-hating Jew.
- And if they say the Nazis fought the Communists, tell them that was only because they were competing for the same pathetic excuses for human beings that could not support themselves to recruit as mindless tools.
- You can continue this line of thought and tell them that the cradle-to-grave welfare policies of the Nazis actually hurt the "Aryan" race by helping those that should have been left to die at the side of the road, which lets them pollute the gene pool.
- And if they say the Nazis fought the Communists, tell them that was only because they were competing for the same pathetic excuses for human beings that could not support themselves to recruit as mindless tools.
- Remind them that if they hadn't driven Albert Einstein out of Germany, they might have won the battle, but lost the war.
- Say that it would be helpful to learn Spanish/Arabic/Chinese in Today's changing Society.
- Ask how the weather is in Russia. Bonus points if they're actually Russian and you mention how true Nazi ideology holds Slavs as inhuman beasts.
- Suggest that their problems in obtaining gainful employment might not have so much to do with Jews and/or niggers and/or illegal immigration but perhaps may have more to do with the word HATE being tattooed across their forehead.
- Tell them that Arabs, not Jews did 9/11.
- They really hate Arabs and Muslims too.
- Even though they allied with them during WWII.
- They really hate Arabs and Muslims too.
- Point out the fact that all neo-Nazis are non-German fucks who would have been killed by the SS.
- Remind them of the fact that Rock, Metal, and every other genre that neo-Nazi bands ape is ultimately derived from Black American folk music.
- Say that Night by Elie Wiesel is a powerful and magnificent work of literature that everyone in the whole world should read.
- Remind them that Jews are the smartest race, and black people are the strongest. Therefore the only master race would be a half black, half Jewish person. That's right, Lenny Kravitz is the new Führer! Protective eyewear is suggested in case their brain explodes at the concept.
- Ask why there are mass graves scattered across Eastern Europe full of Jewish bodies and German bullets.
- Remind them that the estimated six million dead Jews is only a very rough estimate and that the number may be as high as over eleven million (no shit, Sherlock).
- Remind them you couldn't tell Jews apart from most Aryan Germans with their pants up and their noses covered.
- Explain how the word "Aryan", when used in the correct context, is a term used to describe the Indo-Iranian and Indo-European language groups, not a race of people.
- Remind them that the 6 million Jews was less than a third of the total death count.
- Tell them Oswald Spengler was a communist.
- Tell them Oswald Spengler thought racists, antisemitic people, and misogynists were imbeciles:
- "How much envy of the capability of other people in view of one's lack of it lies hidden in antisemitism!"
- "When one would rather destroy business and scholarship than see Jews in them, one is an ideologue, a danger for the nation. Idiotic."
- Ask them to explain the sudden complete disappearance of traditional Eastern European Jewish culture after World War II.
- Ask them if they're Jewish. When they say no, respond with a sarcastic "Suuuuuure you're not!" Keep repeating until they assault you and/or admit their Jewish roots with a full Genographic Project test.
- Discuss the finer aspects of Heinrich Himmler's speech at Poznan. Bonus points if you mention that Himmler was a total Aspie who eschewed figurative language!
- Tell them that Goering was probably gay or a bisexual.
- Tell them that Joseph Goebbels looked like a fag and had a kikeface.
- Say Nietzsche was Polish, not German; even Nietzsche himself denied being German. In fact, he said that the only reason Germany was any good was because Germans had so much "Polish blood" in them.
- Tell them, that Nietzsche considered proto-Nazis, antisemites and similar racists the greatest dumbfucks eva.
- Inform them how America was inhabited by native red people and say that was genocide too. Bonus points if they don't realize that Hitler used that same argument against the Americans.
- Kindly remind them that Fred Leuchter has only a BA in history (not science), has no engineering license, doesn't understand Zyklon B, and has been proven wrong by experts with actual engineering degrees.
- Mention that Hitler is one of the most despised and hated figures of all time, and the fake propaganda they spread isn't going fool anybody to think otherwise.
- The Holocaust really happened and is one of the most widely documented events in history. So get over it, fuckwit.
- Tell them to to come up with something original. If they tell you they came up with everything themselves, tell them "no you didn't retard".
- Also tell them retards, cripples and handicapped were also killed in the T-4 Mental hospital eugenics program. Bonus points if they don't realize the connection with long term effects of inbreeding.
- Ask them about why Hitler choose to raze Germany and not assist wounded German citizens in the last days of WWII. Bonus points if they don't bring up the concept of "honor".
- Tell them how the film "Downfall" made you laugh and laugh....
- Ask them about Hitler's Jewish relatives and his failed efforts to cover them up.
- Tell them how they act just like their stereotypes of other races. ie: black person, black person, black person, black person, etc. From that point on start referring to them as a chalk/pale/white-washed nigger or something.
- Remind them that Rotmistrov outmaneuvered Nazi tank commanders at Kursk. Bonus points if you hint that Rotmistrov had Jewish blood.
- Tell them that Nazi tank commanders believed that running over Camel shit was a sign of luck. Then tell them the Allies made bombs camouflaged as Camel dung. (It worked)
- Remind them that the Jagdpanzer was the most retarded tank of all time.
- Call a KKK member a white nigger (if he's Irish or Italian).
- Remind them that their women were rightfully raped by the Red Army, which treated all people, (including blacks, Jews, and Asians) except Nazi females, as equals.
- tell them that they're a degenerate drain on the white race and that they use white supremacy as an excuse to ride the coattails of proper white people.
- tell them you're black.
- or Jewish!
- Say that the Nazis were too gay to shoot the Jews, and had to sneakily gas them instead.
- Say that 14/88 stands for 88 being a neo-Nazi's average IQ and fourteen being the average age that their mother had conceived them.
- Tell them you want them to be proud of their white skin, not in some moronic cult government kind of way but the way that any pretty-boy should when you're staring at his luscious pink nipples thinking about how pretty he'd look with two feet of long ginger hair while you're frotting him.
- Tell them how badly they got their pathetic useless asses kicked in the war especially by the USA.
- Mention how Oscar Schindler despite being a Nazi, saved Jews instead of killing them.
- Adolf Hitler
- Billy The Heretic
- Deadliest Warrior
- DevianTart Nazis
- Fifty Hitler Post
- Godwin's Law
- Hal Turner
- Heath Campbell
- Holocaust denial
- Jewish Question, The
- The Church of Creativity
- White nationalism – The politically correct version of Nazism
- Israel). ← Not a troll (Not available in
- White pride forum - troll daily.
- Stormfront - drama-filled even by Nazi standards That's fucking saying something.
- Scripture forbids mixing of races.
- Iron March Forums
- ThirdPosition Chatroom
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