| BREAKING NEWS!!|
Newgrounds is dead and is literally classified as a furry porn den. Its modern legacy is "the place where tumblrites went for refuge after Tumblr got in trouble for child porn"
|This article needs a serious clean up|
THE HASIDIC HANGOUT
|The Lulz Era
|The Imaginary Wars Era
2004-July 17th, 2007
|The Anti-Lulz Era|
July 17th, 2007-Present
The Lulz Era (1995-2004)
Jewgrounds in its earliest form was little more than a self-glorifying project designed by Tom Fulp (see the Administrator section below). Before 4chan, before Myspace, this now-hopelessly polluted cesspool of a site began life as a pristine pond; a purveyor of purest, holiest lulz, nearly a full decade before the concept was even imagined and mass-produced. To say that Fulp invented internet lulz is to stretch reality, but suffice it to say that among the earliest dispensers of e-justice, Fulp was a noble sheriff of the law and led Jewgrounds into a internet empire made entirely of pure lulz and win that even early 4Chan could not surpass. For example, it's original tagline was "The Problems of the Future, Today!" which shows how far the site has come for it's tagline to now be the faux empowering bullshit "Everything, by Everyone." During this time, entire countries (such as Scotland) were even considering banning Jewgrounds, of which Tom Fulp gloated about was proud (of course, that would be a no-no now, as it would hurt profits).
During the late '90s, Fulp thoroughly pwned several faceless corporate entities with what would now be considered low-brow and halfhearted attempts at humor, ie Teletubby Fun Land, which isn't really funny at all, and looks like complete shit. Nonetheless, Fulp learned that through his shittiness, he could do some serious fucking IRL Trolling, and managed to raise the ire of many an executive at the BBC, as well as one infamous, middle-aged, angry female media-whore known as "Penny Bain, righteous crusader for all things unlulzy."
Fulp also created a page called Assassin, which hosted flash animation and games centering around killing celebrities and crappy cartoon characters, and while these games are complete shit according to today's standards, the lulz they contributed back then was priceless. This was by far the main draw to the website in these days, as it was the most offensive and funniest thing people had seen on the internet, as was a main base for people to vent their rage and frustration against stupid crazes like Pokemon (back when it was a wordwide craze and not just some third rate game franchise) and other shit they were forced to endure from the idiotic masses.
But Fulp's most important e-exploit was certainly the seminal and highly-offensive homage to Columbine, known as Pico's School, which managed to get him b& from almost every seriousfag memorial website dedicated to this or that contributor to the high-score count that was reached on that April 20th, 1999, and wouldn't be broken for another seven years. In this way, Fulp was way ahead of his time, and would have done well to pack it up and quit while he was ahead. But Fulp tasted the bittersweet nectar of money that he had just finished parodying, and was smitten by its power.
Jewgrounds in it's previous lulzy form can actually be viewed here, and it should be noted pretty much all of this material has since been deleted by Jewgrounds staff, in an attempt to make a friendly image of the site and not offend any potential advertisers.
However, probably the most epic video on Newground at the time, and by far the funniest, was the Clock Crew's CGI movie, Juicy Fruit, found here. Ironically, while this was during the Lulz Era, this was the only thing of that era that was actualy funny.
During this time, Jewgrounds grew from a minor operation of basement dwellers to a legitimate business, much to the chagrin of the first wave of no-lifers (henceforth referred to as originals) who made up the better part of the Jewgrounds userbase at that time but this advantage that helped nourish the site's originality would soon be the cause of its death.
The Imaginary Wars Era (2004-July 17th, 2007)
By 2004, Jewgrounds was embroiled in a debacle that would signify the beginning of its new era. When now-notorious fatty Gary Brolsma felt it would be an excellent idea to parade his rolls of subhuman fat around the once-lulz-inspiring halls of Jewgrounds, a new debate arose between the tiny population of original basement dwellers, who were obsessed with the constant generation of new lulz, and would eventually come to reinforce the ranks of 4chan, and the new basement dwellers, who were the precursors of the JewTube-esque userbase that is in place on Jewgrounds today. The debate centered on whether or not Jewgrounds should be allowed to drown in a pool of its own decayed shit, as the new users believed was only right and just.
Obviously, the originals left Jewgrounds, realizing the impending shittiness that was threatening to overcome a site now dominated in sheer numbers, by sensitive and soft users, most of whom had never laid eyes on even a piece of goatse-inspired masterpiece photography, and most of whom were progressively losing any sense of humor to moralfaggotry, and other corruptive diseases to the arteries of the site.
In the originals' wake, was left a path of destruction and idiocy. Seeking to bridge the gap between what was lost and the contemporary state of affairs, Jewgrounders started to become irrationally obsessed with one particular moral cause. For some of them, a mild anger would have been justifiable, but for most, the simmering hatred aroused was completely ridiculous and unparalleled even in the more recent history of Jewgrounds. Eric Bauman, operator of eBaums, stood accused of pilfering flash directly from Jigger "artists" without first paying royalties or earning permissions.
While it was true that Fulp performed this act, Jewgrounders' subsequent demonization, of eBaums was quite ridiculous, especially considering that 99.9% of the users who claimed to hate the man were bystanders who had never been the victim of theft, and who had no real reason to care, other than a faddish desire to appear as a righteous crusader, an ironic parallel to Penny Bain, above section, who was also a righteous crusader, for a similar moral reason. As a result of this artificial rivalry, recognized by nobody beyond the padded rooms of Jewgrounds's BBS, the odd sense of hatred spread to encompass any site that might be seen as even a remote challenge to Jewgrounds's supremacy; YTMND, and later 4chan were demonized in a similar manner. But bizarrely enough, despite their outward façade of hatred, and frequent accusations of conspiracy, Jewgrounders seemed to seek only acceptance from these sites, who barely acknowledged the existence of Jewgrounds:
These years were blissfully happy for the majority of the Jewgrounds populace. Unable to detect the seismic shifts that were preparing the way for the next startling era in Jewgrounds's history, they were ignorant and staunchly clinging to what they believed were their moral imperatives, but which were actually the beginnings of a totalitarian regime that was a complete reversal of the original principles on which Jewgrounds was based: celebration of lulz.
Jewgrounds Business Plan
In 2006, in the midst of the Imaginary Wars Era, a few prescient users foresaw the coming destruction of the Anti-Lulz era that was threatening to break the wall of security that they had enjoyed for so long, as Tom began to announce the coming OMG REDESIGN that so many regulars thought would completely rejuvenate Jewgrounds after the somewhat disappointingly-unproductive Imaginary War Era. These users banded together and wrote a lulzy and truthy account of the pitiable nature of the Jewgrounds populace during this time:
The Anti-Lulz Era (July 17th, 2007-Present)
On July 16th, 2007 the site experienced a 'big' redesign with features such as "New Emoticons" (Happy Face, Sad Face, Angry Face), Secret Items (actual screenshot of "secrets"... one has to wonder how Tom's father feels about his son's late-onset prostitution fetish), level icons (including a half-naked male body, golden-tan and glistening with sweat), auras (including the meaning-laced "Fab" aura), and blogs as part of the userpage package (a prime example of which can be found on the userpage of the intellectual heavyweight known as "TheButt"). This event marked the end of the Imaginary Wars Era, and few today even possess a memory of the time before this cataclysmic event took place.
Since the inception of the much-lauded "Redesign" of the website, a general decline, if that description is even applicable to a site that consistently demonstrates its ability to find new depths of oblivious idiocy, has occurred amongst both the user base of this decidedly-virgin populace and the features of the site itself. These new features include, but are not limited to: Weeaboo pandering, copiously-sprinkled penis jokes, and a forum that steadily delves into lower cesspools with each passing "Pee in your sink!" thread, "Rate my [hallucinatory] Girlfriend!" thread, or even the occasional, but obligatory "Announcement of Impotency" thread.
The ever increasing SJW-Nazism of Administrators and Moderators (see sections below "Administration," "BBS→Moderators," and "BBS→Community Members→Corrupt Administrator" for moar info) has even caused a downward spiral of idiocy in the Forums, which were already polluted during the Imaginary War Era with disgruntled moralfags.
All of this is damning proof that Tom cares little about what his site used to stand for (angst-ridden teens bent on having a good time at school), and would now prefer to change it into a Gaiaspace clone-cum-Faggot Hang-Out ($$$$) rather than clean out the nobly-named "Kitty Krew" flash group's incredibly thought-provoking analysis of the human condition. It's been a long road from passable social critique to active encouragement of Anti-Lulz in the post-redesign era, but what's become clearer than ever in the past several years is that this cesspool of cowshit sure as fuck isn't getting any shallower.Last Thursday Jewgrounds was run by communists. Tom Fulp wanted to have the Chinese buy their Merchandise so they blocked out everything above T rated They stopped being sponsored because the commies wanted to remove the forum, deny comments to flashes, and the flash and audio portals.. Meanwhile the three dominant memes of the site such as BEDN and Dancing Owen would soon follow the fate of moving out of the BBS and into the Flash Portal as its own independent flash. To this day, Tom Fulp continues to show complete and utter contempt for the casual browser and whatever remaining fanbase he has left by starting an advertising and deletion campaign that makes petulant demands to anyone blocking ads to over a bazillion internet RPGS to visit the shop and buy crap nobody wants.
Starting in the 2010s, the administration swiftly got overtaken by social justice warriors and other liberal degenerates, similar to the overall decline of the internet from normies and hipsters. When YouTube was polished enough to be fast and easy to use to the public back in 2006, it accelerated the decline of Newgrounds, as people no longer had to wait 5 minutes for shitty flashes to load and could simply watch videos on any topic imaginable. Hypocritical actions by Tom Fulp, such as the deletion of Ryan Lambourn's game, The Slaying Of Sandy Hook, helped to further the decline by pushing more users away. Tom was the same guy who made a game called Pico's School, a direct parody of the Columbine High School Massacre of the late 1990s. In 2016, due to copyright trolls by big corporations, the staff began to delete thousands of videos; literally anything that used copyrighted music at all. Many deleted flashes went back decades into the site's history, such as the Numa Numa guy's original upload, and Jeff Weise's flashes. Tom didn't delete his shit though, instead getting one of his rabid fanboys to make new music to replace the old shit for Pico's School. This, paired with the fact that almost all of the content submitted to the site after 2007 was autistic, cancerous and un-charming, helped to kill what was once the central hub of the intarwebz- the YouTube of the late 90s and early 2000s.
The copyright trolls siege against Newgrounds was inevitable considering that Tom rarely did shit to suck off the MPAA, allowing thousands of pizza-faced teenagers to pile up several gigabytes of data featuring copyrighted material for decades. The weight of the content became so great that the media kikes knew they just needed to eventually attack. Couple this with the fact that Google blocked Newgrounds from its adsense program (similar to what those assholes did to us), essentially killing any revenue the site could make, it will be surprising to see Newgrounds last into the 2020s- but only time will tell. One thing is for certain; any energy of the OG Newgrounds is lost forever, outside the memories of the oldfags who have long since moved on.
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