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From Encyclopedia Dramatica
(Redirected from Next Thursday)
The future is everything that happens right after you read this article. The future also refers to things that have already happened. Many things have happened and will happen in the future. Here is a timeline.
Timeline O' The Future
20th Century and before
- 1885 - Dr. Emmett L. Brown and Martin Seamus McFly Sr. use Locomotive 131 to push the DeLorean up to 88 mph and travel back to 1985.
- 1947 - Aliens crash in Roswell, New Mexico. However it is later revealed that it was just a bunch of Mexicans who have traveled in a time machine from year 2144. Meanwhile, the Planet Express crew travel back in time from the 31st century, thanks to a supernova wormhole and Philip J. Fry accidently kills his grandfather and does the nasty in the pasty his grandmother so he will not cease to exist and becomes his own grandfather.
- 1955 - Martin Seamus McFly Sr. Accidentally gets sent back in time, pwns a pine tree, almost has sex with his mother and helps his old man to not become Biff's bitch for the rest of his life. He then, with the help of the Dr. Emmett L. Brown of 1955, goes back to the future. Later, him and Doc come back because old Biff hacks the past and gets lots O' $$$. Marty then gets stuck when the DeLorean gets struck by lightning, which causes Doc to get sent back to The Old West.
- 1985 - Dr. Emmett L. Brown and Martin Seamus McFly Sr. become the first known time travelers, and return back to the future.
- 1997 - SkyNet, a popular Linux distribution of the US Government suffers a major core dump, causing it to accidentally deploy all American missles against Soviet Russia.
- 1999 - Phillip J. Fry is cryogenicly frozen.
- 2000 - Mike Nelson gets shot into space and must watch shitty sci-fi films with his gay robot slaves.
- 2001 - The dumbass W gets elected, then Jews do WTC, so he institutes 1984 and destroys Murka during his 8 year reign.
- 2007 - The dank memes that lazy, arrogant, bored Millennial teenagers make begin to be used by the normies, creating another Eternal September event.
- 2008 - Obama gets elected, continuing the bullshit politics of his predecessor. The bush 3.0 presidency lasts another 8 miserable years.
- 2012 - World ends allegedly.
- 2015 - Dr. Emmett L. Brown and Martin Seamus McFly Sr. travel again further into the future to stop Biff Tannen from ballsing things up for the rest of humanity.
- 2016 - Gay Atheist Senator Jim Maynard is elected president. Collective bricks are shat by conservative retards leading to the 10 month civil war of 2016-2017.
- 2016 - The Onion becomes a legitimate news source. Biff Tannen gets elected President
- 2020 - Dumbfuckistan destabilizes the gook region around Japan, Korea, and China. Biff Tannen Gets re elected. It has been mathematically proven that this will be the year western civilization begins to collapse
- 2021 - Generation X finally starts to have power in politics, after Baby Boomers and other shitty generations fuck off, mainly due to dying due to old age.
- 2021 - A group of marine biologists living aboard an underwater sea lab will become the subject of a cartoon on the famously elitist Adult Swim; television designed for people who think they are smarter than everybody else, but not quite smart enough to stop watching the fucking television.
- 2022 - 5,000,000,000 motherfuckers are now on teh intarwebz. (See: Eternal September
- 2023 - Mario finally kills Bowser, but feels empty now that princess peach is 99 years old.
- 2024 - You can now text / surf teh intarwebz with the power of your puny brain.
- 2024 - The majority of western youth now sexually identify as bizzare or stupid shit like trigender walrus otherkin.
- 2025 - Drones now spam the world map IRL in 'murka.
- 2026 - New islands will randomly pop into existence on the world map.
- 2030 - Flying cars will be invented.
- 2031 - Overpopulation is starting to seriously raep Earth. Niggers, Spics and Gooks are the major culprits for the population explosion.
- 2032 - Degenerate sexual acts become common sightings in the streets of the west; this trend begun in San Francisco during the early 21st century.
- 2031 - Anonymous destroys the Church of Scientology.
- 2032 - Citizens of San Angeles are terrorized by famous black person Wesley Snipes. He is ultimately defeated by a suave Sylvester Stallone and a Jew Sandra Bullock.
- 2033 - Russia gets bombed and the citizens are forced to live in the underground metro stations surrounding the area. As mutations occur, a new species is created called the Dark Ones. Nobody knows what they do, but it appears they have telepathic abilities.
- 2034 - USA starts to decline as a world power. You got what you deserved, you sweaty fat fucks.
- 2035 - The Muslim plague has dramatically risen. Somebody should do something about it.
- 2035 - A bishie faggot almost becomes Dracula. Meanwhile Will Smith fights some robots.
- 2037 - Europe is now majority non-white.
- 2040 - Tobacco has been greatly reduced from society, with those who chose to be fags and smoke, usually dying from Cancer and rightfully so. Fags.
- 2041 - Famous home shopping center Lowe's is aquired in a hostile takeover by Home Depot Gmbh (Now run by Germans). People realize the future isn't all that different from 2005.
- 2043 - Whitey now have become a Minority in America.
- 2048 - Mass Extinction of life occurs by this point. Epic lulz.
- 2044 - 5 year survival rates for ass cancer are at 100%. You might just survive reading OP's posts in the future!
- 2077 - Prepared for a nuclear or biological attack from China, the President and the Enclave retreats to remote sections around the globe and make contingency plans for continuing the war. A few months later, Nuka Cola Quantum is released to the public just hours before the bombs are launched. Who struck first is unknown, and it is not even known if the bombs came from China or America. Other countries, seeing the missiles on their way, launch their planes and fire their warheads as well. Air raid sirens sound, but very few people go into vaults, thinking it is a false alarm. The Vaults are sealed. What ensues is two hours of nuclear bombardment upon the Earth's surface. The effects are far worse than most imagined. The Earth's faults shift violently. Mountain ranges thrust themselves through the soil. Whole lands are submerged under floods of water. The Necropolis Vault never closes. Once it becomes known that the other vaults have sealed, people within Bakersfield, CA attempt to force their way into Vault 12 to protect themselves and their families.
- 2101 - War begins. Bases are belong to CATS. Zigs are moved for great justice.
- 2120 - Alec Mason goes to Mars after he decided that the EDF fail at at helping Earth, only have his brother killed by Pedobear.
- 2144 - Mexicans steal a time machine, get inside while drunk on bathtub tequila and accidentally travel back to 1947 and crash in Roswell, New Mexico.
- 2200 First dome city on Mars is constructed, Most of the solar system is colonized.
- 2525 - Humans rage an intergalactic war against the Covenant. Some argue that the war ended in 2552 when Master Chief fucks up The Ark and another Gaylo.
- 9001 - Some argue the Internets will stop due to a catastrophic event, somewhat akin to the dreadfull Y2K tragedy, ending the world as we know it. Also expect some fucked up shit, and possibly a better meme depicting very large numbers.
- 381724 - OP is still a faggot
- ??? - Heroes arrive at the final endpoint of all time, defeat Ultimecia and halt time compression, but end up creating a time paradox which results in all events regarding their actions continuing to repeat- forever..
The Year 102,017