||This faggot waits for the child to make the first move in a sexual situation.
You can help by contacting Federal Authorities and alerting Chris Hansen.
The Internets is filled with dirty, strange people. Uncanny YouTube videos made by babbling, incoherent autists. Amongst them is Nick Bate. He's recognizable in two different ways: How candid he is about his bizarre sexual deviances, and his years-long devoted obsession with a hambeast he met on the Internet.
Hagurumon aka "sick" Nick Bate or Nickalaus Boyd Stoutzenberger (Born September 1st, 1991) was first discovered on /cwc/ when his pictures and information were posted, saying he was "just like Chris-chan." In reality he was so much worse. He's a ridiculously outspoken person, and he talks nonchalantly on his Twitter about masturbating with his own shit. This guy is Josef Fritzl caliber, and possibly one of the most vile people you will ever read about. The citizens of /cwc/ were reviled and astonished at the things he would openly admit on his websites, and you can be too!
Who is Nick?
Nick Bate being Norman Bates
Admitted pedophile. Says he likes little girls because "their vaginas haven't opened up and become all gross, and they're cute and energetic." Believes pedophilia and incest should be legal. Says they're "stupid laws" and believes children can consent. Says a newborn baby has the exact same brain as an adult. Thinks children can be taught about sex and then it's okay to fuck them. This includes his own children, were he able to have any. Also he's a crossdresser and he's into larping and thinks that Kentucky Don't Exist. He also mentions a habit of smelling cats.
Nick refuses to say u's in certain words, so replaces them with o's - as in "about/aboot." His reasoning is that he wants to be a Canadian, and as such these are now known as his "Canadianisms." He must want to be a Newfie, since people from the rest of Canada don't talk that way.
Akin to Ulillillia, he has a fear of water, so he doesn't shower. Instead, he takes “pseudo showers” every few months which means he just takes off his shirt, leans over the shower head and washes his hair. He does not wash his ass or any other part of his body. He doesn’t wipe his ass when he shits either (he prefers to “air dry”), which means he probably always smells like an open Liberian abattoir, since he has not cleaned his asshole in years.
Nick is a devout Christian. He believes marrying Anna is their fate and that "God decided it." He also believes he is a prophet sent by God to tell people of the wonders of anal, and that the Bible's story of Sodom and Gomorrah was "misinterpreted." Every so often he will make "prophetic" tweets.
He is completely disgusted by vaginas due to, he claims, their tendency to "open" after puberty.
Nick Bate lives with his grandmother and aunt (one of the many people he wants to fuck, though this is a mystery due to her being over 7 years old). He used to live back and forth between his mother’s house and his grandmother’s house - occasionally visiting his father. He likes to tell stories of the good old days when he and his friends would run around on the schoolyard and pretend to fuck each other, maybe because that's the closest to actual, consensual intercourse Nick is going to get to (with those near the same age as him, that is).
How Nick is still allowed to live with his grandmother is beyond shocking considering his habit of shitting, masturbating with his shit-covered hand, and rubbing the jizzy, shitty mess all over his walls. His aunt regularly scolds him for this. His family is well aware of Nick's problems. He has asked for his family to buy him porn for Christmas "but with no vaginas, only anuses." They try to get him to stop fucking a pillow that he likes to pretend is Anna. They have driven him to the hospital many times due to Nick's habit of shoving small objects deep up his rectum (like tiny flashlights).
Shopped by Nick Bate. srsly
Anna Nickel is the object of lust for Nick Bate. She is a mentally ill person, claiming to have aspergers. She met Nick when she was 13 on the Bonus Stage forums. Anna is a pretty big attention whore, and also claims to be bisexual. She's a huge weaboo and has many nerdy interests like anime and cosplaying. She's also a fan of novelty bands like They Might Be Giants, an interest that Nick would later borrow from her. Being a hypersexual aspie she would seek out basement dwellers on various sites and cybersex them, and Nick just happened to be one. When she and Nick met they would cyberfuck each other for hours on the Homestar Wiki and the Bonus Stage forums.
Many of his obsessions, as Nick claims, were introduced to him from Anna which he imitated seemingly as a means to impress her. Anna and Nick were friends, during which time Nick claims that Anna said she would marry him. But all this led to Anna being more aware of what a freak Nick Bate is and trying to distance herself from him. He became more and more obsessed with her and did whatever he could on the Internet to talk to her, including writing thousands of bizarre webpages begging her to love him. His insane pleadings to Anna. Some of the more notable ones are him talking about how he’ll turn into a 5-year-old and grow up with Anna. He also writes stories about Anna, like one where he watches her shit in a forest, and then she gets anally penetrated. Nick has also came up with a set of rules he must abide to in order to fulfill his life;
Maddi and /cwc/ intervention
Maddi is a 16-year-old girl who pity dated Nick. She was the one who got on /cwc/ and alerted its residents to Nick's pitiful existence. Chatlogs, nudes, and logs of cybers were posted, with the help of two trolls that hacked his accounts. Maddi herself linked the /cwc/ thread to Nick, which made him freak out. The first few threads were based around gathering information about him and reading various chatlogs. In a few threads Anna actually posted, stating her lack of virginity, her stance on Nick, and various other things. The angsty /cwc/ populace chased her off, however. After a month and many threads, Nick finally decided to take action. Nick himself started posting at /cwc/   stumbling into a flood of questions like, "NICK WHY ARE U A PEDO?".
Nick has not posted at /cwc/ for quite a while, and Maddi has given up on him for the time being. Most of the chat logs are from Maddi's conversations with Nick, and DMs on Twitter. The citizens of /cwc/ are torn on Maddi, and many look at her as somewhat of an attention whore. Some of the more sexually-deprived users declare her the Boxxy of /cwc/.
Nick Bate, like many basement dwellers, is interested in cartoons and webcomics. Among his favorite is Homestar Runner, which he was introduced to by his dad's girlfriend's son. In 2004 he had a Homestar fan-forum, but apparently an admin got it shut down. He tries to model aspects of his personality off the character Coach-Z. As pointed out on /cwc/ these aspects could be "gender confusion," "mispronouncing words," and a "fixation with butts." Nick and Coach-Z share all of these in common. Nick edits the hrwiki.org, and actually used to cyber on it, pretending to be Homestar Runner characters.
Nick's really obsessed with the novelty band They Might Be Giants. He learned of them through Homestar Runner, and became obsessed with them because of Anna. He likes playing RPGs too, mostly Pokémon and Final Fantasy, of which he claims that Rikku is hot. He also LARPs, which gives him an excuse to act like a 3-year-old and run around his back yard with a tree branch in his hand.
Short stories and fan fiction
Nick is a prolific writer and by prolific, we mean shitty.
Nick's prized accomplishment; The Meadow, an unnervingly creepy little story about him butt-fucking Anna in the woods. Now in audio form! He also wrote The Panties of Doom, a shitty Digimon fanfic.
FOREWORD The following takes place in an alternate reality in which Anna and Nick have already gotten married and, needless to say, are madly in love with each other.
They have also stumbled upon a beautiful Meadow, filled with colorful flowers that seemingly outnumber the grass. The Meadow has all the essentials - a neighboring Forest consisting of every plant known to Man, thus producing food; a River endlessly flowing with clean water; and a unique climate which is always just the right temperature: in the Meadow, it is impossible to be too hot or too cold, and precipitation does not exist. The plants in the Forest thrive without water. The Meadow is unknown to both Man and Animal. It has never been discovered by anyone, and will never be discovered again. Nick and Anna have decided to spend their days there alone, forsaking all material possessions. Even their clothing has been discarded, as they are needed neither for warmth nor for modesty, as there is no one around to hide their genitals from. As such, Anna and Nick reside in the Meadow completely naked, save for the crown of flowers he crafted for her.
Our story begins as Nick awoke one morning, lying in the flowers beside his sleeping wife. His arms were wrapped around her, and hers around him. Nick lovingly gazed at his beautiful Meadow princess. She lay on on her side, face buried in his shoulder and buttocks pushed outward as if she were in a semi-fetal position.
It wasn't long before Anna, too, woke from her sleep. While still asleep, she stretched her arms and legs and, to her horror, passed gas very loudly. Realizing what she had done, she quickly became alert and at the same time, embarrassed. Her face turned bright red, her eyes widened, and she unknowingly held on to Nick tighter.
Nick smiled and stroked her hair. "It's all right. I like it when you fart," he said. Anna, relieved, loosened her grip on him and for no particular reason, began stroking his erect penis. She slowly and sensually massaged it, which aroused them both. Anna sat up, leaned forward, and put her lips on the tip of his penis. She then began sliding up and down his entire penis, again very slowly. She did it very soft and rhythmically, as if it were not simply a meaningless sexual act but a sign of her love for him. With each repetition, she made sure to wet it with her saliva. She knew that Nick liked it wet. The way she leaned forward exposed her anus, and Nick salivated on his finger before beginning to slide it in and out of it. Other than this, Nick lay completely motionless, eyes closed, basking in the love he felt emanating from Anna.
Up, down. In, out. Anna's fellatio and Nick's anal fingering both followed the same rhythm. Eventually they forgot that they were even doing it at all and it continued only due to the repetition. Thier minds became clear and existence seemed to cease. The two had stopped being separate beings and melted together into one nothingness. But not a frightening nothingness. A peaceful nothingness. Anna and Nick continued to involuntarily pleasure each other for an unknown amount of time, and indeed they may have kept going forever had Anna not once again released flatulence quite loudly. They abruptly stopped, snapped back into their minds. Nick's penis and finger were both still inside of Anna, but all motion had stopped. Then, without words, the two agreed to take a break to allow Anna to more properly relieve herself. They walked together into the Forest and found a spot for Anna to defecate in.
She squatted down in front of Nick, who was kneeling and leaning in to get a closer look at her anus. It slowly dilated as the feces pushed its way out. The suspense nearly killed him as the tip entered his view while emerging from her anus. The few seconds seemed like hours as the contents of her bowels slowly slid out from the lower opening of her alimentary canal, her anus widening more and more in the process. Once finally released, the feces dropped to the ground beneath her. Anna let out a sigh of relief and even shivered a bit from how wonderful it felt.
Nick was occupied with staring at the majesty that lay on the grass before him. He made keen observations on the size (quite large for such a slender girl) and consistency of the waste that his sweet angel had just excreted. He clenched it in his fist to examine it better. It was neither too firm nor too soft. No "corn-like chunks" were present. He was able to mold it as if it were silly putty. He was very impressed with what a fine job she had done. So impressed that he began masturbating with it still in his hand, using it as a lubricant. While trying to spread it all over his penis, he noticed his clearly irritated wife, impatiently waiting for him to fulfill his duties. Since they had no material possessions, the two had to come up with an alternative to toilet paper. Anna allowed Nick to cleanse her using his tongue, while Nick generally lets himself air-dry.
Nick remembered this quickly and stopped masturbate so he could spread her cheeks apart with both hands. Anna didn't mind (or even notice) that he had gotten feces on her. Nick held her cheeks apart and placed his tongue on her anus. He licked it thoroughly, following no particular pattern. Up, down. Side-to-side. Around and around. In, out. He was careful to completely cleanse it. When he has finished, not a speck of feces remained. Of course, this wasn't going to last very long.
The two stood up. Anna threw her arms around Nick and showered him with kisses on the cheek, followed by the grand finale, a long, passionate kiss on the lips. However, his mind was elsewhere. Although his love for her overpowered his sexual desire, the sight of her anus drove him crazy, and he craved anal sex. He quickly kissed Anna back and requested anal intercourse. "Of course, dear!," she squealed.
She bent over and wrapped her arms around a tree for support. Nick used his still-feces-covered hand to guide his penis into her anus. Once it was in, he began slowly thrusting his pelvis while placing his soiled hand on her shoulder and the other on a buttcheek. "That feels so good, sweetie," she said in a daze. She closed her eyes and relaxed, just as Nick had done when she fellated him. Nick continued thrusting for a few minutes and then suddenly and without warning, slid out of her anus. This caused a great sensation in the nerve endings on her anus that sent a chill down her spine.
She glanced back at Nick, who was sheepishly smiling and laughing silently about what he had done. Anna, very confused, remained speechless. "Sorry," Nick finally said, "Can you suck my dick a little?" Though still in shock from the sudden withdrawal, she complied to his request. She got down on her knees and began fellating him, right after he had pulled out of her anus.
The first time Nick asked her to taste her own anal fluids, she was disgusted and refused. But he continued asking on a regular basis, and she finally agreed to do it one time to shut him up. To her surprise, she actually liked the taste and soon became addicted to it. Ever since, they have gone ass-to-mouth quite frequently. This time was different, however. Normally, during anal sex, feces doesn't collect on the penis, but as Nick had intentionally put it there beforehand, Anna had to taste her own feces for the first time. Once again, she realized she didn't mind. While she didn't necessarily like it, she also didn't dislike it.
After a few minutes, they switched back to having anal sex. Nick thrusted slow and rhythmically at first, but gradually sped up until he felt a tingling in his penis. The sensation quickly grew more and more extreme. It was coming. In his last few secinds, he thrusted even faster and harder while clenching his prostate to prolong the sensation. He pushed himself beyond his limits. Finally, it exploded and he ejaculated inside her anus. At the same exact moment, Anna, too, achieved an orgasm, and came. Her cum ran down Nick's legs, and his trickled out of her anus and down her vagina before dripping onto the ground.
Though weak and breathless, Nick used the last ofhis strength to give a few final slow but powerful thrusts. He then slide his penis out of her anus and flung some semen off while Anna collapsed into the tree she was holding onto. The two rested for a moment, trying to catch their breath. After failing to do so, Nick scooped Anna up in his arms and carried her limp body back to the Meadow as she sleepily stared into his eyes. He lay her softly in the flowers and positioned her for optimal comfort. He then assumed the same position right next to her.
The two proceeded to lay there, motionless, clear-headed, weak, tired, and somehow very relaxed. When their breathing and heart rates finally returned to normal, Anna rolled onto her side and again buried her head in his shoulder. She gripped his penis lightly and let out both a sigh and more gas while stroking it slowly. Nick and Anna both smiled and drifted off into a peaceful sleep.
THE PANTIES OF DOOM
Chapter 1: The Dance Party at Central Veto High School
Sly was searching fri hus headset. "Did you see my earphones lately?" he asked while throwing things over his shoulder. "I saw them in the freezer this morning," Hagurumon replied. Sly shrugged. "Even though that doesn't make any sense, I might as well try it out." He flew through his house, digging through clothes and pizza boxes to the kitchen, where ToyAgumon was searching for chicken. Sly shrugged and looked in the freezer behind the box of cappuchino ice cream. There, he saw the headphones. "Got my earphones!" ToyAgumon looked at him. "Don't you mean headphones?"
Sly's car (a Chevy Malibu) sped to Central Veto. "I bet the party started already, man!" Hagurumon, chasing the car, began to run out of energy. He just rode along with Sly then.
At Central Veto, Sly slipped on his headphones and grabbed the mic. "Yo, yo, yo! I'm MC Sly here with your musical pleasure!" Sly played some slow songs, then started rapping at about nine o'clock. After that, Sly went to talk to his friends. TK, Kari, Colin and Mimi were hanging out in the library. "Sup, Sly?" asked TK. Sly replied with a "nothin'."
The next day, a second party was held in honor of Duke Johnson, the coolest kid at Central Veto High School. He swaggered when he walked past Kari. Kari was unanimously the most beautiful kid in school, with Mimi in second. After that was Sora, Sly's girl. TK walked up to Duke and gave him a dirty look. Kari was his. Colin agreed that if anyone made a pass at Mimi, they won't walk for weeks.
Duke was talking to Matt, the second coolest guy. Those two, along with Tai, had a band called Coolness. "Nick!" Sora yelled from across the room. "The name's Sly," said Sly. Sora ran up to him. "So, do we have a date next Saturday?" Sly nodded, and Sora walked over to her friends.
Chapter 2: The Attack of the Black Underwear
The party then went bad. Sly saw a shadow in the corner of the room. Hagurumon slowly approached, but was chased off by... panties? The whole school laughed, until a kid was mauled by the panties. The gym cleared fast. Only Duke, Matt, Sly, Sora, TK, Colin, Kari and Mimi were left.
When the black panties lunged at Kari, everyone made a run for it. However, the doors magically locked. The panties lunged at Duke, but Matt was in the way. "Stay alive, Duke," he said. The panties were on Matt's left arm. Matt then fell to the ground, and the panties ran deeper into the school. Sly checked out Matt. "Not breathing." Duke folded his arms. "Killed by a pair of panties? C'mon." Colin then looked. "Whoa. On his left arm is a ton of venom." Duke began laughing. "Why would panties have venom in them?" Sly tried to touch the venom. "Stop!" yelled Colin. "It's powerful enough to kill a person instantly." Duke stopped laughing. "Who's it after next?" asked Sora. "Hard to say," said Colin. "Wait a second..." Sly looked around the gym. "Where's Hagurumon?" Sly ran through the hallway to look for him. The others followed.
In the boys' bathroom, Hagurumon was trapped. The panties of doom blocked the only exit. As they stared, they backed up further until the door burst open, and they flew into a wall. Sly started using the headphones as nunchukas. "Beware, panties of doom." He tossed the end of the cord with the plug in it at the panties of doom. The panties then grabbed it and pulled on the cord, dragging Sly along until he let go. This gave Hagurumon a chance to escape. The others burst into the room. Duke was in front, taunting the panties. This aggravated them, and they jumped up on Duke's face. They then ran off, leaving Duke dead.
Chapter 3: Seven Survivors
Still trapped in the school, the seven survivors decided to take a tour of the forbidden areas of the school. Colin and Mimi were checking the kitchen for scraps of food. Kari and TK were looking around on the roof. Sly, Sora and Hagurumon were searching through the storage area.
Sly found something odd in a box. A picture of a woman dressed in black, with a pet snake. "Who's this?" Sly asked. Sora looked at the picture. "I'm not sure." Hagurumon was looking for other Digimon. He heard a box fall, and ran to look. Sora squinted. "I don't know. I think it's odd that this is in color, though." Sly flipped the picture over and saw a word. However, it was not English.
Kari nearly fell off the roof. Luckily, TK was right next to her. He took her to the door to the school. It was locked. "Great, now we're locked out with no way of getting to the ground." Kari looked around. "Why is there a bed up here?" TK looked happy. "I don't know, but I have a great idea. We'll use the sheets to make a rope." Kari nodded. "But... it seems as if the panties want us to get down from here."
Mimi and Colin ran to the storage room when they heard a scream. The panties of doom were right there in front of Hagurumon. Nobody moved. Except the panties. Sly thought Hagurumon was a goner, but the panties got Sora instead. Sora screamed loud enough for TK and Kari to hear. TK looked down. "It got Sora, too. That's four victim in one day."
The panties rushed to another room. Sly was mad now. "I must get my revenge." Sly found a loaded gun in a box. "Bingo, baby." He switched it out of safety. He walked out after the panties. TK and Kari broke in through a window and found the panties right away. Sly found the stunned duo and shot at the panties. He hit it with every bullet, but the panties just ran at Sly. Sly dropped the gun and backed up. Colin, Mimi and Hagurumon entered. The panties crept closer, and picked up the gun.
"Oh no..." Sly said. The panties aimed at Mimi. "Well, here's my go," said Colin. He jumped on the panties and threw the gun out the window just before he died. Mimi started crying. "Great. Who's next?" asked Sly. The panties then jumped on Mimi. After a few seconds, they jumped off and ran away.
Chapter 4: A Date With Death
TK was having doubts. The sheets fells off the roof and the doors were still locked. He decided to have a final date with Kari. The two were in the cafeteria, eating some leftovers while drinking water.
As Kari finished off her spaghetti, she noticed the panties clinging to the ceiling above TK. Meanwhile, Sly and Hagurumon were playing cards. "Go fish," said Sly. Hagurumon drew a card, then laid it down along with his last card. "I win!" Sly yelled. "How about Blackjack?" Hagurumon got up. "Nah. I'm taking a nap over in the library." Sly knew it was a bad idea, but what could he say to a Digimon?
TK then stood up. "I'm going to the bathroom." He then walked out. Kari decided tp get more food, so she ran to the kitchen. The panties then stopped clinging to the ceiling and fell in TK's cup. Sly stood in the library to watch Hagurumon. He then decided to grab a book. It was called "A Date With Death." It was a novel about a woman named Francine. Then it struck Sly. He got a book on reading Japanese to find out that the woman in the picture was also named Francine.
He then read the book about her. He found out a few things. Francine wore black panties. Her pet snake bit her and got venom all over her clothes. Sly knew what was going on. The black panties with venom in them were Francine's. Obviously, they were back for something. But what?
When Kari returned, she didn't notice the panties in TK's cup. Neither did TK. He was about to put the cup away because he was done. "Hey! Stop! I have to propose a toast," said Kari. "To us!" They banged their cups together, then took a sip of their drink. When TK's mouth touched the cup, he dropped it and started to gag. He was coughing, then fell over. He then stopped coughing. Thrn he stopped breathing. He was dead soon after. Kari ran screaming to the library.
She told Sly what happened. With only three survivors left, the chances of being next were high. This really scared Kari, but Sly and Hagurumon weren't afraid. Meanwhile, Sly tried to figure out what the panties were after. He determined they might be after the snake. "Bingo!"
Chapter 5: The Cure for Venom
"I got an idea," said Sly. "But we'll have to escape first." Sly, Kari and Hagurumon came up with an idea. Sly and Hagurumon flew out the window and barely made it on the flagpole. They climbed down and called for Kari.
Kari then jumped. Now free, Sly led the other two to the pet store. They bought a snake and brought it to the school. Sly, in the gym, sat down the snake and let it out of its cage. This led the panties to the gym. It crept toward the snake. Then, Sly gave a signal. Hagurumon, Goburimon and ToyAgumon had the panties trapped.
Tai and some others rammed down the door. "Do it, men!" yelled Sly. He pulled out a small device used to tranform Digimon, called a digivice. This turned Hagurumon into Raremon. Goburimon was now Ogremon, and ToyAgumon became Leomon.
The Digimon attacked the panties, but the panties struck back. Kari watched as the Digimon were knocked out. The panties ran off, dragging Kari along with them. Now it was only Sly. Sly took his headphones and swung them around. Followed by Hagurumon, who somehow survived, Sly continued to the storage room.
He was face-to-face with the panties of doom. He noticed a trap door under the panties. It was now or never. Hagurumon told Sly that Digimon are not affected by venom, so he wrestled the panties to the ground.
Sly kept trying to aim the headphones at the trap door. The panties were now in front of it. Sly continued trying, but missed again. He then tripped backwards over a box and the headphones flew in the back.
Hagurumon couldn't hold off the panties much longer. Sly crept behind them and quickly grabbed the headphones. "This is for Matt!" Sly whipped the panties. "Here's for Duke!" Sly did it again. He whipped the panties for every dead thing. He finally dedicated the last one to Sora. The panties then jumped up. Hagurumon luckily grabbed it. Sly gave a final whip only to the door handle. The cord wrapped around. Sly gave a yank, opening the trap door. Hagurumon gave a push and the panties fell through the hole. Sly rushed and kicked the door, so the panties were trapped.
The audience cheered as Sly and Hagurumon walked out of Veto High. Another job done, and another day saved by the heroic, courageous MC Sly.
Chapter 6: The Aftermath... One Year Later
"Did you see my headphones lately?" Sly asked. "Did you check the fridge?" Hagurumon replied. Sly rushed toward the fridge and checked behind the cappuchino and the mozzarella sticks. He pulled out his headphones.
After driving to Tai's house, he announced a house party. Then he put on music. Hagurumon danced with Palmon, Mimi's Digimon.
A few hours later, Sly and Hagurumon made a toast to the two survivors of the "Panties of Doom Incident." Meanwhile, Tai didn't notice that his doors were locked. He also didn't realize that black socks were in the corner of the room.
Sly and Hagurumon walked in and saw Tai tied to a chandaleir by a pair of black socks. They also noticed the broken glass and bodies lying all over the place. "Here we go again..."
Nick is admittedly tone deaf, but his obsession with awful music like They Might Be Giants and Weird Al has propelled him into thinking that he should record an album himself. Classics include Sometimes Performing Anilingus on Children is the Right Thing to Do and other songs concerning anal sex.
He is a very impressionable fellow and is desperate to be accepted by anyone around him. All of his music tastes have been copied from his friends on the Internet. Inevitably, if someone he is talking to likes a certain band, he will end up liking them without fail. Surprise, Nick is unoriginal as well as gross and stupid.
At some point, Nick released a demo tape of songs over Twitter, some of more tasteful tunes on it include; "Doing Children in the Butt," "Blowin' Up the US," "Anal Rape," "Anally Raping Children," and "Butts Butts Butts."
The Coffee Crew
The Coffee Crew is Nick's crappy rip off of Bonus Stage and includes his friends as character in the story. Anna is, inevitably, his ever-loving girlfriend. He has never posted the comic on the Internet, and in fact claims it is not a comic at all but a cartoon; however, he does keep a note book of all of the comic strips. Preceding the Coffee Crew was probably a marginally less stupid LARP fantasy called "The Nick Team" which was "basically a ripoff of DBZ and Final Fantasy IX."
As you would expect, the art is absolutely terrible while the writing is uninspired and barely legible.
Where can I find Nick?
Most of Nick's day is spent on Twitter, which means you'll see about 100 new tweets every day by him! He also has a DeviantArt, like most freaks on the Internet, and posts on LiveJournal off and on. You can reach all these places through his personal website. He doesn't have Internet with which he can watch/upload videos to YouTube unless he goes to his father's house. Although, nowadays he doesn't get to stay there all the time because his dad is tired of his lazy gross ass. You can find him in jail awaiting trial, which, after his inevitable conviction for child molestation, he'll spend most of the rest of his life in a state prison, barring he doesn't end up dead (which he almost undoubtedly will, and likely very soon) at the hands of other inmates or suicide.
You can write sick Nick yourself at
NICKALAUS B STOUTZENBERGER MN3415
Benner Township State Correctional Institution
301 Institution Drive
Bellefonte, PA 16823
Maybe encourage him to send you a shit card and then file charges on him so that he can stay in jail longer. Maybe be pen pals. Tell him how you really feel. Have fun with it.
Update January 20th, 2016
The Judge's verdict?
Up to 40 years, with a minimum of 16 and a half.
Gallery of Overbite
He jizzed in the batter and fed these to his family.
Nick is proud of his disgusting teeth.
The only pussy he'll ever pet.
Some fan art by a /cwc/ drawfag
Nick is told Anna is not a virgin.
Nick laments his Anna jizz rag.
Nick/Anna first cyber session
Nick drew Rule 34 of himself and Anna and mailed it to her for Christmas. Srsly.
Nick Bate is part of a series on YouTube.