Nigel Farage

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigation Jump to search
   
 
When people stand up and talk about the great success that the EU has been, I'm not sure anybody saying it really believes it themselves anymore.
 

 
 

—Nigel Farage


Error creating thumbnail: File missing
Straight to the top
Error creating thumbnail: File missing
Nigel respects traditional British values, like drinking traditional British beer
Error creating thumbnail: File missing
Putting the 'ire' into 'Ireland'

Nigel Farage is the Savior of the Anglo race, defending them from tyrannical Liberals, filthy Immigrants, corrupt European Politicians and many other threats to modern society. First coming to prominence at around 2010, Nigel was often mocked by the political elite for his "hilarious and stupid" dream of getting Britain safely out of the the European Union and back into a position of power. He was often called a racist, politically stupid, and a fascist by the Old Media, as they were scared that their propaganda and brainwashing of the people may become less effective.

Nigel also is the leader of (M)U(D)KIP, who's sole purpose is to get Britain out of the EU. UKIP is feared by the other political parties as they might change the status quo of the Conservatives getting into power, ruining Britain, Labour getting into power, ruining Britain and the Conservatives getting back into power, and so the cycle would continue.

Nigel considers himself a extremist, as someone who isn't completely fucking retarded in politics is now classed as extreme.


The Rise of the Savior

Nigel's schooldays

His promise was spotted at an early age, when he caused a row at his school by standing to become a prefect. One of his no-good leftist union-loving teachers was so butthurt that she wrote to the deputy headmaster complaining that young Nigel was a 'fascist' and a 'racist'. The school went ahead and made him a prefect anyway, with the deputy headmaster later commenting: "The staff were fed up with his cheekiness and rudeness. They wanted me to expel him, but I saw his potential, made him a prefect, and I was proved right."

Years later, the British electorate would wholeheartedly endorse the headmaster's wisdom in a similar manner.

In between 2010 and 2015, Nigel had slowly showing the British people that they did not need to be enslaved by unelected officials anymore, and more importantly that they didn't have to feel guilty about not wanting the endless hordes of immigrants infesting Britain with disease and crime.

In 2015, Nigel had gained enough power to stand to the General Election but lost due to every other party scheming with each other to make sure that this didn't happen. However, he had gained a foothold into British politics, and the people who previously laughed at him started shitting themselves.

On 24th June 2016, Nigel's dream had come true, and for the first time in what felt like forever, the British people stood up to the the political elite and told them to fuck off.

Nigel's Victory over the Elite

As the public were sick of poor europeans coming into the country and turning it into a shithole, Prime Minister David Cameron pledged that if he was voted in for the 2015 General Election, he would allow for an In/Out EU referendum, believing that the public liked being shat all over, and would vote Remain.

As this would likely be his only opportunity to get Britain out of the the EU, Nigel worked long and hard to win over any people who weren't sure and showed them undeniable truths about the EU, such as corruption and mass unemployment. He also showed them how corrupt the EU was, the negative effect it was having on the legal system, the economy, immigration and the fact they were being done over by Brussels.

However, on the big day the UK, the EU and the rest of the world were in for a massive shock, as the British people sided with Nigel and said NO to the corrupt politicians, zionist businesses and retarded economists.

Nigel received worldwide recognition for standing up to the EU, and gave hope to many other countries that are part of the EU that also wanted to leave. The EU made a poor attempt at trying to say that Brexit had fucked up the economy, as no more than 3 days later the British economy started to regain balance but due to the EU being economically shit, none of the other countries improved, and Italy's banks had collapsed, indicating that Britain had left just in time before they would have to bail out another country again.

Revenge of the Liberals

Despite losing the referendum fairly and democratically, Liberal retards are doing anything and everything they can to stop Britain leaving the EU, blaming it on older voters not caring about the future, despite the fact about 3/4 of young people didn't even bother to fucking vote.

Unsuccessful attempts include:

  • Starting a petition for a second referendum (this got hijacked by 4chan)
  • Smear campaigns against Nigel Farage
  • Trying to cause a riot at Westminster
  • Trying to guilt trip people into doing their shit for them
  • Not much else, they'll probably give up after a week and just go back to smoking weed

The Elite fight back

Error creating thumbnail: File missing
The sworn enemy of Nigel Farage, who wants to destroy the UK and simply goes by the name "That Scottish Bitch"

After experiencing a crushing defeat, many of the major political parties in the UK spiraled into chaos, the David Cameron ragequitting and the Labour Party throwing out their leader, Jeremy Corbyn, for doing fuck all. All that stands in the way of Nigel Farage getting an independent Britain is Scotland, who for some reason almost completely voted remain. After being owned by England by voting to stay in the UK, and then their vote didn't matter in the EU referendum, they are now threatening to leave the UK (again).

Even though the last Scottish/UK referendum was meant to mean that the result would be for forever, the Scottish are pissed that they once again got done over by the English, and in retaliation want to destroy the UK, because they think they're strong enough to survive with England.

English politics is likely to completely change now due to losing their grip on the public, and will now likely do whatever they can to stop Nigel from getting into Westminster, as if that happens then it would truly be the end of their regime.

The Day Freedom Won

On 4 July 2016, Farage stepped down as leader of the Ukips. His reasoning was that he had achieved what he set out to do all those years ago, and wanted to enjoy the rest of his life. On the other hand, he remains a Euro-MP and intends to take part in the Brexit divorce proceedings, so a grateful nation, if not world, has undoubtedly not seen the last of The Great Man.

Video of Nigel Farage verbally destroying the EU


Nigel putting the EU in its place, notice the fat guy behind him nodding in agreement

And now the punchline

He's going to keep his MEP pension of £73k p/a after Britain leaves the EU. So he's trolled Brexit supporters, too! (Archived: Archive today-ico.png 1 Wayback Machine Favicon.jpg 2)

Rage Against The Machine Cease And Desist Letter


   
 
Nigel Farage brazenly and unlawfully exploits our client’s name and logo and the implication of any endorsement by our client of you or your policies is particularly abhorrent.

RATM has publicly denounced the type of right-wing ideology you espouse for decades; in fact, that has been an integral part of the band’s identity and purpose.

Your anti-immigrant rhetoric, lack of social compassion and barely disguised racism and xenophobia are the antithesis of what RATM stands for.

Stop using RATM’s name and logo, change the name of your podcast and find some other target to troll. We suggest President Trump.
 


 
 

Rage Against The Machine


Gallery of a Great Briton


[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]


See Also

Nigel's successor, UKIP leader Paul Nutcase, courting the 18-24 Green voter demographic
Nigel Farage
is part of a series on
Churchill Bulldog.jpg
The British
Our Rich Cultural Heritage [-+]
The United Kingdom [-+]
Nigel Farage
is part of a series on Politics.
Ideologies: [You are wrong!We are right!]

Alt-rightAnarchyCapitalismCentrismCommunismConservatismDemocratHippieLiberalismLibertarianismMiltopismNaziNihilismNeo-conPacifismReconquistaRepublicanSocialismTory

Issues: [Fuck it, Too lazy.Get it fixed!]

AbortionArab SpringBahrainBarron TrumpBirthCISPADeath penaltyDrugsEnvironmentalismGaysGeorge Bush doesn't care about black peopleGirlfriendsGround Zero MosqueMass ShootingGun controlGunsHealthcare (2) (3)• HomelessHousing CrisisHuntingIceslaveIranMarriageMiltopiaNAUPimpin'RacismShoesTaxesTerrorismUnemploymentWarWelfare

Politicians: [Rigging Elections is funVote for me]

AhmadinejadAkinB.AllenG. AllenAngleAshburnBachmannBhuttoBin LadenBlagojevichBlairBoehnerG.BrownS.BrownBunningDubya BushGeorge H. W. BushBurrByrdCainCameronChavezCheCheneyChomskyChretienChurchillClintonClinton IICleggCohenColemanCorbynCowgerCraigCthulhuCunninghamCurtisD'AlemaDeanDelayDuterteDwyerEdwardsFaganFiorinaFoleyGerald FordRob FordGellerGillardGingrichGiulianiGonzalesGoreGrahamGravelGreeneGriffinHagueHansonHardingHarperHitlerHowardHuckabeeHusseinJacksonJamesJidetteJohnsonJohnson, BorisKennedyLaRoucheLBJLottKerryKindKissingerKucinichLewinskyLiebermanLimbaughLoughnerMajorMarceaux.comMarxMcBerryMcCainMcHenryMcKinneyMercerMichael BloombergMooreMorocco MoleMussoliniNaderNixonObamaO'DonnellO'RourkeOsbornePainePaladinoPalinPaulPelosiPencePerryPinochetPrittPutinQuahQuayleRasanskyReaganRendellRiceRobertsonRomneyRoveRuddRumsfeldRyanSaakashviliSandersSantorumSchumerSchwarzeneggerSharptonCyril SmithJacqui SmithSpitzerStevensStranahanSupremeTaitzThatcherThompsonThorleyTPMMuckraker MoleTrudeauTrumpVenturaVitterWarsiWashingtonWaxmanWeinerWestWilliamsWilsonWolfowitzXXenophon

Parties: [No beer? Fuck that.Hell yeah, a party!]

America's Third PartyBlack BlocDramacratic PartyHard PartyLemon PartyLiberal Party of AustraliaNorth American DONG PartyOBAMACORNSocialist Workers PartyPirate PartyZapatistas

Tactics: [Rage Quit.How do I get elect?]

2013 US Government ShutdownBlaming ChinaCaptain Nigga DefendaCloward Piven StrategyCuckservativesDemockeryG20 Toronto LollercaustLiberal Butthurt SyndromeLiberal guiltMacaca#NotMySuperbowlChampsOccupy DemocratsOperation LemonpartyRaped StatisticsThe ResistanceUpworthyWunderground

See also: 2012 Elections2016 Presidential ElectionsInternet PoliticsPizzaGatePolitical communities