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Nikky Raney

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Nikky Raney = infected with GOTIS
You can help by not giving her any attention.

Police.gif THE FBI APPROVES THIS PAGE, DRINKS ALL AROUND


Nicole Lejarde Raney, or simply Nikky Raney, is 16 year old girl trapped in the body of a 20 year-old fat fuck who constantly brags about how she works for zennie62, a notorious black person endorsed by Jews and a pursuer of under-aged white wimmenz. She is half-Filipino meaning her mother was definitely raped by a white man.

She has also been diagnosed with many mental disorders, aside from being bigger than your mom, she claims to have dissociative identity disorder, on top of being bi-polar, obsessive compulsive, and not being able to keep her fucking hands off the Twinkies. An easy classification of such a person is to simply call her a bitch. She suffers from GOTIS but could be easily confused for an asspie.

Her blog is filled with lulz, and can be found here. She has a lot of insight into what goes on in the world such as Degrassi and Tila Tequila, which involves vlogs that expose her tits flopping around like a pair of unruly flapjacks. She constantly refers to herself as the future of journalism and her catchphrase to ward off the haters is "because I'm Nikki Raney and you're not." She claims this is why haters gonna hate and not at all because she's a cunt.

With writing skills rivaled only by Stephenie Meyer, Nikky seems to believe she has a career in journalism. Nikky is offended when people question her validity as a journalist. One can easily destroy her aspirations by pointing out every single flaw in her grammatic structure and her inability to differentiate homonyms. Such an accusation will erupt into a sea of sadness which will spread hilarity throughout the internets. She will also run crying to zennie62, to whom she will then proceed to perform fellatio on while her boyfriend takes it up the ass by his own cock.

Zennie's response to this article.

Zennie62, IRL name Zenophon Abraham, has informed the FBI about this article. Looks like it's time to head to the border.


   
 
Twitter-favicon.png @nikkyraney Please inform your attackers that the FBI has been contacted. Please do not respond any other way.
 

 
 

—Zennie62 means business.


Contents

I'M NOT FAT!

Fortunately, this particular lolcow loves to try and prove how not fat she is, but ends up proving it is the truth. Some of her lulzy antics include: taking pictures of herself on a scale, talking about how she has eating disorders, discussing her upcoming gym work-outs and diet plans, and flopping her rolls around like a walrus in heat. She also seems to talk about how she was a model at one point which ensues epic lulz.


Nikky's only claim to e-fame occured when she was rolled into the spotlight due to notable famewhore Tila Tequila. Tila began taunting Raney about how fat she is, nicknaming her "Piggy Raney", and for once, the whore-monger azn was telling the truth. Many people felt sorry for Raney and reached out to her during her time of need. Unfortunately, these sympathetic internet folk soon came to the realization that Raney was a massive attention whore. After her journey across the internet in the waaaambulance, Raney tried to repair her bleeding asshole by turning on her new-found friends and accepting an apology from the bisexual walking AIDS machine thus losing all of her support.

Due to this extreme display of betrayal, Raney had soon begun to feel the stings of at least 100 scorned cyber buddies who had once pitied her while she cried about how she wasn't fat, and these noble heroes stood by her even though they knew all along that she was the Filipino Rosie O'Donnell. They certainly would have struck sooner had they known what a bevy of lulz Nikky was. The attacks began as these "haters" started to man the harpoons and prepared for an onslaught of tears and blubber. Raney has since threatened bountiful lawsuits out of the sheer pain this article has caused her. She continues to believe every one is just jealous of her and her future as a journalist, because once again, she's Nikky Raney and you're not!

Raney is a fan of the social-networking site, Twitter, and spams it with stories about her day while ass-kissing anyone she can because she has no real friends. Ironically, she likes to make fun of people who she believes are larger than her; even going so far as to pick on a man's deceased wife. This makes her a real dipshit. Raney has no shame because she would likely eat it. Approach with extreme caution unless you enjoy being eaten alive, which would make you a sickfuck.


The best advice one can give Nikky Raney is that she get back to the kitchen and try to make amends to the world for being a stupid woman.

Nikky-isms

   
 
This may be the most ignorant questions ever but does Canada have veterans too?
 

 
 

—A ray of intelligence upon our world of ignorance.

   
 
My mom was sad when I stopped modeling, but my agent respected me. I wanted to be known for brains not beauty.
 

 
 

lulz

   
 
Oh my gosh I cannot weight. Tomorrow at the gym I'll be like "mhm, I got my own custom work out biatch!"
 

 
 

—Her English skills are amazing.

   
 
The party line? So the first internet chatroom was a phone party line. @vh1 I love the 80s marathon is educational.
 

 
 

—*facepalm*

   
 
Best of I love the 80s on @vh1. I was born in 1990 so, I never experienced the 80s.
 

 
 

This is the smartest thing she's ever said.

   
 
It's rare to win the lottery.
 

 
 

She has clearly done her research.

   
 
I was on the phone with my friend & said people are calling me curvy. She told me to shut up because I'm a twig. hmmph. *hides in corner*
 

 
 

—Sounds like someone has a lying ass bitch for a friend.

   
 
I was writing out a blog post in a document & then I accidentally quit without saving. Great. I fail.
 

 
 

—First step to recovery...

Previous Quote | Next Quote

Nikky's Boyfriend

What Josh's dreams are made of.

Apparently, Nikky's boyfriend, Josh, is under the impression that she is not fat despite being around her on a daily basis. He is a retard. He also likes to watch her as she sleeps. Many believe he prefers the company of men, but since no one loves her, she pretends he wouldn't prefer his dick stroked lovingly by Ryan Seacrest. He is much lulzier than Nikky, and he gets mad when people tell her that she is fat.


To further assess Josh's true degree of retardation, one must simply check out Twitter page. This noble fellow has a broad range of emotions particularly aimed at the likes of Justin Bieber, Paris Hilton, and Tila Tequila. He even extends an olive branch of truth to Tila, explaining that Nikky only made herself look fat to ignite a flurry of lulz. However, because that YouTube Favicon.png video is a severe case of anti lulz and has succeeded in causing many unrelated cases of suicide, one can only say to Josh, cool story bro.

Josh tried to turn himself into the white knight to avenge his fair maiden, but alas, he failed and was banished from the kingdom.


Nikky's Friends

No scorned woman comes without a gang of close, personal friends in tow. Nikky relies on her Facebook and Twitter companions to make her feel better about herself despite the fact that she is a complete lady. All 5 of her e-buddies get extremely mad and whine about how immature and lame people can be. Russell McBride, a portly gentleman, and her biggest fan, is quite enamored by his mention on this article. So much so that he bragged about his hero status which then caused his emo, cross-eyed girlfriend to thrust her cunt in joy. Russell likes to refer to Encyclopedia Dramatica as "fuckers" which deeply hurts our feelings. His anger stems from receiving the banhammer for copious amounts of editing on this page.


Due to Russell being extremely upset over this article, and the lies it conveys, he has declared war.

We have decided Russell is simply the very definition of unfunny. His request for a page has been denied since he has shown he believes the internet is serious business. Sorry, Russell. Maybe next time.


Let The Lulz Begin

On Monday July 26th, Nikky Raney's cries circled the internet as she was informed of the laughs being had at her expense. In a desperate attempt to rid the world of lulz forever, her friends decided to try and edit this article in order to fix her extreme case of the sads. These internet champions threw themselves at her article intending to take it down, but sadly failed. After a brave young internet soldier was banned for being a true hero, lulz managed to prevail. Facebook is still burdened by the immense amount of bawwwing and will likely suffer lag for years following the sheer amount of bloody, anal leakage from Nikky's merry band of freedom fighters.


Unfortunately, due to this article, several of Raney's friends had to be hospitalized for massive blood loss and gaping asshole syndrome. These poor souls will never recover. May we never forget them and all their contributions to this page. [[File:Joshmeanssrsbsns.png|thumb|This business is serious [[File:Tldrstfurussell.png|thumb|TL;DR]]

Gallery

RAPE IS NOT FUNNY

For some reason, Nikky doesn't want to be e-famous. Her thoughts on this article are that it is simply not kawaii and she wants it to be removed. She claims she has never read it, however, she states other people have told her about it. This is how she became aware of the rape joke being used at her mother's expense. Due to this simple and very true fact, Nikky began a tirade of drama in order to make us feel the error of our ways. When we denied her request, she began sending angry e-mails and ranting on Facebook and Twitter to get this page taken down. She has stressed that her concerned parents have shown interest in involving authorities.

Since this article's introduction into the Hall of Lulz, many moralfags have complained that to attack Raney is simply unfair. These people have since attempted to rid the internets of Nikky Raney's faggotry 4evr. We commend their valiant efforts and encourage them to keep trying

Zennie62, the heroic black person, has been in contact with the FBI due to defamation and scrutiny. We salute Zennie in his admirable fight for justice but such a chore is best handled by someone who isn't a jigaboo, since no one cares about black people.


ED gets a shout-out @ 3:49. The rest is TL;DW.

Other YouTube Videos

The video that launched a thousand harpoons.
Her "I don't hate Tila Tequila!" video. Too bad no one cares.
Nikky being sad because she's fat and unappealing to men.

Previous Video  |  Next Video

Back In The Day

Nikky was once a sweet, innocent girl who dabbled in the joyful art of angsty teenage poetry and of course, attempted murder. Raney claims she once tried to kill an anonymous individual with a butter knife, which resulted in screams of outrage throughout the universe. Since we have no record of who this anonymous character is, we hope that he or she received the medical attention they likely needed following the brutal attack.


We, at ED, were seriously concerned for our safety after learning this fact. We have since barricaded ourselves and have changed our IP addresses for our own protection.

Butter knives aren't Raney's only weapon of mass destruction. Nikky's poetry is heartfelt, real, and extremely touching. Look no further, the future poet laureate is right under our noses. Why one would want to get into journalism when she is such a fine-tuned and literate poet makes no sense to us, but you be the judge.


And now, a poem

Me Now Vs. Me Then

November 4, 2003 -Nikky Raney-

I guess I have changed quite a bit

I used to just sit around and take shit

I used to be all talk

I used to make big scenes about petty crap

But through all that changes I'm still a sap

Only now I've turned into a flirt

Started wearing a shorter skirt

Dancing a lil dirty at the dance

Showing off my thong in my low-rise pants

I used to take relationships so seriously

I stayed devoted to one guy

I didn't cheat-I didn't lie

Until that day my world fell apart

And I still have a broken heart

Before I was innocent with a kiss

Now I've become notorious

Before I guess I was Plinky

Now I guess I'm just kinky

I'm flirting with guys left to right

But it's okay, because he's outta sight

I guess a part of me left on that day

Left on Its merry way

I used to be all sweet and cute

Now I'm hott and crazy

I used to be all personality

Now looks are starting to matter to me

Now I'd never date an unpopular guy

Now I smile, I don't say hi

I guess the change isn't bad

It's what I left behind that's so sad

I used to be silly and weird a lot

Those outburst had to be fought

Kisses used to have meaning, not just for fun

Now I'm kissing everyone

I used to fight everyday

It always had to be my way

I am still a sneaky chick

Some of the things I've done you could consider sick

I guess we all change over time

Change happens

It can't be stopped

But my change was the most dramatic

It can't be topped


More lulzy poetry and emoing can be found here.

We didn't know Amanda Bynes was fat


See Also

External Links


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