Nintendo Switch

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Behold! Nintendo's unofficial mascot for the Switch!

The Nintendo Switch is Nintendo's latest scheme to be relevant in gaming, especially in a post-Iwata era. It is an abominable fusion between the 3DS and the Wii U.

Last Thursday, Nintendo shat out an unveiling video that didn't really show anything about the console per se, but rather a desperate attempt to grab the attention of hipster faggots, feminist dykes, neutered parents and Nintendrones. Anyone is guaranteed to look like an insufferable dumbass holding one in their hands.


  • 6.2-inch LCD touchscreen (1280 x 720)
  • Maximum resolution of 1080p 60fps when plugged into a TV
  • Nvidia "customised" Tegra processor
  • 32GB storage. So enjoy buying a microSD card for more storage.
  • 802.11ac Wi-Fi
  • Ethernet internet through optional adapter
  • Bluetooth 4.1 (on tablet)
  • Bluetooth 3.0 (in Joy-Cons)
  • NFC (in right Joy-Con for Amiibo support)
  • Stereo speakers (on tablet)
  • PCM 5.1 channel audio in TV mode
  • HDMI output (on dock)
  • USB Type-C port (on tablet)
  • 3x USB 2.0 ports (on dock): USB 3.0 support to be added at future date
  • Headphone/mic port (on tablet)
  • MicroSD card slot (on tablet; plus microSDHC/microSDXC support)
  • Game cartridge slot (on tablet)
  • 4,310mAh battery (on tablet; up to six hours of play on one charge)
  • 525mAh batteries (in Joy-Cons; up to twenty hours play time)
  • No mic or ability to chat online. So you Archive today-ico.png have to use an app on your phone to talk to other people.

Nintendo Seal of Quality[edit]

Now to put the cherry on this sundae is that this console suffered from a disastrous launch that would make the PS4 and Xbox One blush. Oh, but don't worry. Nintendo will patch everything later and will make everything good again. After all, it's okay if Nintendo does it. However, this doesn't change the fact that the Switch is underpowered, as usual.


The price for the Switch costs around $300 USD as of March 2017. If factored in the hidden costs of buying accessories and the like, you will most likely shell out at least twice the Switch's initial price to get the full experience out of this console.

Unfortunately, this shoddy "modernization" of Nintendo's image doesn't seem to budge their rabid fanbase one bit. They will spend their hardly earned income for this piece of underpowered crap without a single thought. This means that Nintendo will continue to make dubious decisions throughout the Switch's life cycle.


Here's a small list of what games you can buy for the Nintendo Switch:

If you haven't already noticed, the Switch is full of ports and multiplats of games nobody cares about.

Also, as an added incentive for paying for online monthly, you get to keep one NES or SNES game (of Nintendo's choosing) per month. Once that month has passed, however, the game is gone and you have to buy it again at full price.

Nintendo Switch Online[edit]

Because Nintendo wanted to follow the paths that Sony and Microsoft are doing by introducing a shitty online service you pay $20 where you can play an NES game and multiplayer like the PS4 does. Not happy that Nintendo is adapting to today's video game market, Nintendrones screeched all over the Internet about how they now have to use their parents' credit cards to play online (not that it matters as nearly every Switch game can be perfectly fine without Internet), and boycotted the Switch for free online play BECAUSE IT WORKED SO WELL LAST TIME WITH THE WII U HAVING FREE ONLINE PLAY!!!1!!.

Beware of buthurt Nintenfags


Look at all the dislikes and butthurt comments!
The "Awkward Translator Guy" in action


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Nintendards created an unofficial mascot for the console (as previously stated), a short anthropomorphic puppy. Sick fucks from tumblr and 4chan immediately made hundreds of pictures of porn on this shit, draining the low quality semen of thousands of pathetic mentally ill nerds and shocked dozens of NSA agents spying on them.

Switch Dog Rule 34 About missing Pics
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See also[edit]

External links[edit]

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