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Thomas Smith, better known as his elvish alter-ego Lord of the Dead Nixxiom, is yet another neckbearded World of Warcraft nerd, who still lives in his mother's house. He probably used to be a small cog in this large mechanism called society just like every other person, until he got some attention light over him, thus one more unnecessary Youtuber was created. Now, he craves for more praise and easy money by acting stupid in front of the Internet and creating super-funny content via Machinima. He launched his channel under the username "SiverlinedPro" in August of 2008, somewhere around his time in high school - which he somehow graduated (at least that's what he says). After a couple of boring, edgy videos showing him fulfilling his Otherkin fantasies via Warcraft roleplaying experience as a Night Elf, his business went serious nearly half a year later thanks to boring, edgy comedy gems such as this one:
"Funniest Machinima there is"
What the hell, may you ask? Well, as you could've noticed, YouTube viewers don't have something known as higher standards. Plus, his audience is mostly 13-, 14- year old World of Warcraft players, so go figure. Anyway, encouraged by his first small achievements, Smith went on a journey to become a star. He pushed himself through some low level community college (again, allegedly) and, instead going to a normal work like a normal person would do, he became full-time Youtuber. That will happen to you too unless you'll study hard, aim higher and listen to your parents, kids.
Smith's so-called empire currently has over 300 000 subscribers and nearly 1000 posted videos. Considering his godlike status among his fans, he became a YouTube partner and started to vary his videos content, but the hub of his art is, of course, hysterical Machinima routines, featuring elf named Nixxiom and his helper Moocluck, voiced by his real-life boyfriend. Who also does 75% of other voices in Smith's Machinimas, because the Brit can at least almost imitate male's voice, while Smith always sounds like he's choking on cock, no matter how much Skype Voice Changer he'd use to sound more manlier. And to think he's already in his mid-twenties.
Here's a bingo list of typical gags and plot devices you can find in their skits:
- "I will handle it" - Nixxiom or Moocluck kills the hardest boss in the game with only one hit.
- "Did he drop anything?" - Nixxiom and Moocluck are looting fallen enemy's corpse, but always find some useless garbage.
- "Level 58 Death Knight" - Smith voicing typical WoW player and pretends he played this game since the first expansion.
- "AAAH, ISHNU'ALAH" - introducing fan-favourite elvish Druid with a weird manner of speech. He is voiced by Smith, who is doing it really well.
- "God of WoW" - WoW's co-creator, Chris Metzen's face is somehow included in the video; he's either a Sun, a planet, a pocket watch or a deity.
- "I'm standing right here!" - the duo pretends to having a conversation with characters from game's cinematics.
- "The more you know" - a list of things about WoW you never know about... except you did, since it's all over the Internet for years now.
- "Aw my goodness, you are such a sweetie!" - Smith is using his actual voice to present characters from the game as gayer than he is in real life.
- "Hello, my friends" - Smith is using simple social engineering to make you think he's your friend, while in reality he doesn't give two shits about you and only wants your subs and cash. Blizzard would be so proud.
- "I love this expansion" - Smith claims he likes the content Blizzard is presenting UNTIL he finds out that fans hate it, so he has to constantly revert his statements.
- "FUNNY MUSIC": WoW's "Mist of Pandaria" expansion funny-sounding music (played mostly on kazoo) in the background to emphasize the humorous situation. It doesn't work.
These overused chunks of plot devices are always present in Smith's videos, because hey, FANS LIKED 'EM ONE TIME WE GONNA DO IT FOREVER!!1 Do not make a drinking game out of it or you'll be on your way to alcoholism.
Nixxiom Plays... except he doesn't
Aside from that brilliant Warcraft laughter maraton, Smith tries to force different content down his fan's throats. We have "Fireside with Nixxiom" (sometimes with actual fireside!), which is basicaly a Q&A mixed with Smith reading some crappy story of his WoW character. He also tests other games, like "Battlefield" or "Star Wars" in 5-minute long videos, ending with him either raping the game box or throwing it around the house. There are some "discussion" videos (mostly Smith's monologue and ranting about some WoW features that he doesn't like - you know, "discussion"), unfinished gameplays and abandoned, overtalked series of films, some mediocre tutorials and made-up by your's truly Iron-man-ripoff-challenges that neither he nor you will ever finish because they are just too boring and recycled. Just go see his channel, compare views of this kind of videos with his silly Machinima crap and you will know how it turned out for him.
In his constant search for attention, Smith also tried to expand his fat presence all across the Internet. He went and did some voice-over for another, much more famous Youtuber, Danger Dolan, shoved his pizzaface in various WoW conventions (like people would know who he is) and started a Twitch account, where he plays World of Warcraft and begs his fans to give him money so he can pay off his never-ending needs, such as Chipotle, milkshakes or new socks. You know, the things your typical hillbillies need to survive.
A while ago, Smith created a new channel called "Nixxiom Plays". In theory, it was supposed to be a dumpster for his other-than-WoW gaming experiences. Instead, he flooded this shitter with footages of his biking trips, uploaded live-streams from Twitch account, vlogs and his vacation videos. As one could have forseen, his fans didn't give a single fuck about all of this, forcing Smith and all of his inconsistency to abandon "Nixxiom Plays". As of now, it's been six months since he uploaded a video on this channel.
Praise Metzen. NOW HE'S UPLOADING ALL OF THIS BORING SHIT TO HIS MAIN CHANNEL AND STILL BARELY FUCKING PLAYS ANYTHING WOW INCLUDED.
As if creating videos based on served Machinima tools and ingame cinematics wasn't enough, anyone with basic reading skills can find out that Smith likes to borrow ideas from other, more or less talented creators. In one of his better known videos called "The Day of the Cataclysm", a leader of one of WoW factions commands his soldiers to build him a statue. This little gag was widely believed to be Smith's original idea for almost two years, until one of his fans FINALLY did some research and pointed out that this is actually based on a short comic, made years ago for some Blizzard Comic Contest. The plagiarist and his other fans dismissed the accusation, stating that it is only a small portion of the video, but that's hardly an excuse since the rest of this skit was unfunny load of shit. Nevertheless, this little incident made him finally put the link to the comic in video and it's description in a desperate way to save his fat face.
Guess that it was just an isolated case and everything went fine and dandy after that LOL FUCK NO The follow-up to his Cataclysm video, dubbed "The Second Cataclysm!" (gotta say, he knew how to name those things) was ENTIRELY A RIPOFF of "Klay World: Glass Of Water", a video made by a guy named Robert Benfer back in the times when no one would even think of making YouTube channel a daily job! And again, it took Smith being caught red handed to post links to the original content and also made him extremly butthurt that people found out the truth and shared it in the comments section. So, if it wasn't for stealing in broad daylight, you could say that something good came out of all this.
"Help me do what I love and support my family"
Now, it could have been just that. Another miserable, self-centered asshole throwing his life out the window - we've seen plenty of that in real life. But after whoring himself to the world of subscribe numbers and thumbs up, Smith went one step further.
At some point in his life, Smith's father left him and his mother. Give the guy some credit though, he probably just couldn't stand there and witness his son's slow transformation into such a disappointment. Anyway, after Smith Senior's departure it was up to Smith Junior to take care of his aging, unemployed mother and his dog.
—Smith, taking care of his family.
So, instead of going to a real work "in some smelly factory" (his words), he sat his fat ass in front of the computer, started a Patreon account and began to beg his followers for money during his live-streams on Twitch. This the way of life he chose. You know, one might wonder: what's going to happen to him once this little fame of his will fade away - and it will, eventually. When the life will knock to his door and force him to stop acting stupid in front of the computer, go outside and get a real job, what is he going to tell at the interviews? "For the last couple of years I never worked in a real place, I have no experience at all, but fuck that shit I can make funny skits on Youtube xD"?
But that's not the cherry on top of the shitcake. During one of his streams (feel free to verify at "Nixxiom Plays" channel), he used to talk about his day out with his father, so they are not as distanced as it seemed to be. In fact, on the very same stream, Smith went on and bragged about how his father - the same who have abandoned him and his mother, mind you - was paying a shitload of money to Smith's mother and that he only pays for her credit card bills. Some time after that Smith said that his mother was going to find herself a roommate, because Smith was going to leave the house and move to an apartment of his own, about two hours away from his family's house.
AND THEN someone hacked and robbed his Patreon, so he asked his fans to contribute MORE GOLD so he can "p r o v i d e" for his family.
BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE soon after that it turned out the moving-out thingy is going to be delayed because now he will have to take care of his mother, his dog AND his sick grandmother! Also, conveniently, it turned out his Youtube ad revenue is dropping hard. So he made another movie, asking his fans for EVEN MOAR MONEY TO SUPPORT HIS SITTING ON HIS ASS DOING LITTLE TO NOTHING. A sick mother, a sick grandmother, a sick dog and a baker's dozen sick fucking puppies he saved from drowning in a well the day before AND less and less JewTube sheckles!
C'mon where's your
wallet heart, people?? DONATE! DO IT NOW!
And what did Smith do with the dough? Went on a camping trip.
Money well spent. Keep 'em coming and get your free assfuck on a regular basis.
|Nixxiom is a Good New Article.
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Nixxiom is part of a series on YouTube.