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NORP is a police acronym for Normal Ordinary Responsible Person, but they are known on the internet as normalfags (or neurotypicals as you call them). They are the antithesis of Anonymous, as they all actually believe they are unique individuals.
They are the exact opposite of virgins, nerds, aspies, neckbeards, Ediots, you, furries, and other internet dwelling rejects. These people are fairly normal; they are your everyday joe shmoe who lives IRL has a girl/boy friend, car and a job.
Normalfags go to work, have a circle of friends in the real world, go to events outside their homes, have adequate conversational skills and have very little to no mental disabilities that would otherwise drive them to go on the internet. Despite appearing to have an otherwise mundane life not filled with memes and internet in-jokes, normalfags are pros at getting laid, compared to the typical netizen.
What Is NORP
Normalfags are a diverse group. They are that generic looking guy who walked passed you on the street, the receptionist in a corporate building, that guy who fixed the air conditioner. They range from young to old and rich to poor. Remember though it has to be generic, if they are 400 pounds chances are they are a basement dweller; if they're rolling around with more than two bitches, they're fucking alpha.
Younger normalfags spend their
time trying to get laid, partying, going to concerts, getting laid, having orgies, getting shit faced and getting high. LULZ they wish, most normalfags only have sex with women they're in relationship with and do drugs a couple of times. Most normalfags spend their time talking about what was on "America's got Talent" last night and their crappy music they just downloaded legally to their ipod.
The typical older NORP is a law abiding citizen with a spouse and two-point-five kids (two boys and a girl), a 9-5 job, a small house in the suburbs with a neatly tended garden, and builds replicas of 18th Century sailing ships out of toothpicks in his basement. He also likes all-you-can-eat "Surf & Turf" night at TGIFridays and watches Monday Night Football, the local news channel, and Soap Operas every day.
NORPs, Normalfags and The Internet
NORPs/Normalfags are casual internet users. They usually only use it to go to google, look at jewtube videos, or check their facebook. They visit their favorite social networking site when they're at work, look at the latest popular internet video that everyone is watching, check their email to connect with friends and use Ebay to buy stupid shit. Many normalfags haven't heard of some of the shadier sides of the internet. When they feel ready for the "deep web", normalfags spend their time laughing at lolcats on I Can Has Cheezburger and then proceed to WebMD, where they feed their hypochondria prior to visiting their doctor and annoying the fuck out of him with their own diagnoses.
When a normalfag happens upon the likes of ED or /b/, bricks are shat. At first they call the Party Van (which they call "the authorities"), but after finding out about this thing called "freedom of speech" they make it their personal mission to take down ED. Some hypothesize that normalfags are too accustomed to IRL, which is serious, to be able to understand the internet, which is not serious, others just don't give a shit. Regardless, normalfags fucking rage at Internets phenomena like the Megan Meier affair and Alex Wuori's major anal rape and get all atwitter when they see reports about HACKERS ON STEROIDS and cyber bullying on local TV news reports that 'expose' the shenanigans of anon.$
The Normalfag Invasion
Despite that the internet has been the home of societies' rejects since its inception, normalfags have been slowly seeping in. Most of them stumbled upon the internet as sixteen-year-old girls or thirteen-year-old boys to post the quick attention whore tit pic or complain about a l337 h3x0r on CoD, but overtime, as more normalfags become aware of internet communities, they have slowly congregated there. Now internet dwellers are forced to form newer more secluded locations where they can discuss why fourteen is old enough to consent and share Pokémon hentai. Even worse is when the normalfags return from their "internet adventure in the cyber realm" they bring up old memes like advice dog and orly with their friends, whom they talk to face to face like fags, which tickles all their collective funny bones so hard they decide to contribute to their articles on unfunnypedia.
4chan in particular has been hit hard after years of being a weeaboo and pedo hotspot. Normalfags, wanting to see what all the buzz is about, have begun visiting 4chan and some had journeyed into the board /r9k/. /r9k/ is 4chans de facto board for discussing the finer points of life such as, why are we such losers? Why can't I get a girlfriend/get laid? And the old classic women are WHORES WHORES WHORES!!! When the normalfags began arriving they went on some threads and started to give advice on how to improve the aspies current social situation the robot oldfag got butt-hurt that someone else, more popular and normal, was giving them advice on how to get teh secks, which hurt his precious ego. So the robot Oldfag lashed out at the normalfag newcomers and played victim. /r9k/ was full of threads about how to be good around people and be more sociable whilst other threads are created to complain about the normalfags on the board, ruining the community. Due to irreconcilable philosophical differences between the oldfag robots and normalfags, tensions rose to the point of an internet civil war. That is until moot created /adv/. r9k was previously known as an advice board. Once /adv/ was created, the advice giving normalfags went there. Conditions have improved dramatically since, though given the sheer amount of BAAAAWWWWWWWW in /adv/ at nearly all times, the residents have taken to calling themselves the s/adv/irgins. A most appropriate label, truly.
Why you should not be afraid or jealous of NORPs
The fallacy of individuality when taken to its extreme may be worth in itself regarding what shitheads we've posted up here, but on the other hand, there are those in such crowds who have this part of their agenda: To be accepted and championed by NORPs. A most lulzworthy goal, internet dwellers suffer from societal rejection and unhappiness, but refuse to accept such steadily rising truths that society isn't all that is cracked up to live in and still try to suck up to NORPs and their establishment. It should also be noted that NORPs themselves are also noteworthy of drama and lulz, because when they're not recorded here, they're usually the talk of the town, put up on video, and also shown on the news before they are sent to jail.
The term of NORP is pretty much an illusive, fleeting, and fake veil of perspective supremacy by those ignorant of the world and with not much self esteem. A fun fact that is not mentioned like how common sense isn't all that common: All human beings are fucked up in someway. Granted, plenty can keep their shit together and put on the act of being a NORP. Others can't because well, problems. The difference remains in that whether your baggage makes it to the internet or not, and if it's ever related to drama or lulz, whether it makes it to ED or not. You can be a fucking spaz and still, ED won't cover it depending on what's it about. On the other hand, you can be a lulzcow and still be a NORP and still make it here. That's because we have bigger fish to fry and not everyone who writes here follows the same agenda. If you aren't here, you're likely at KiwiFarms and Pretty Ugly Little Liars or not that worth for writing about. On the other hand, you're that much of a faceless peon who fits into topics and articles we've already covered (you know, like here). We write on everyone and anything. No exceptions. If you're also that asshurt, schadenfreude is the sweet release that makes the wine of savory indulgence and realization. Also, a dumbfuck says "what?"
Back to the point, NORPs are peons who will dance to whomever pulls their strings. And let's be honest here: If there is even one string to a NORP, they are still a NORP, no exceptions. Infact, we are all fucking NORPs. Figure that the fuck out. Thing is, while we document stuff like internet denizens getting arrested for child fucking, getting caught sucking off doggie dicks, being druggies and prescription med abusing sloths, having furry porn, and having assburgers, NORPs get it better in karmic assfuckery. NORPs can get fucked with STDs, having the fun of being an unexpected parent, being in the web of sexcapade gossip with their genitals between their legs that eventually escalates to massive lulz and drama, being rapists publicized on TV, being in the direct path of the aftermath when society comes collapsing all around them, being victim to the many pitfalls of bearing golden handcuffs of monthly payments born out of materialistic catch up, being constantly under pressure to societal norms, being victim to the consequences of narrowminded and allegiance biased perspective, and realizing their lives are ultimately flawed and unfulfilled empty existences.
Those who praise NORPs: The NORPie Conspiracy
Wannabe NORPs or NORPies are astoundingly lulzworthy shitclinging lulzcows who you will likely recognize when you read through this. Ever remember that one killjoy in your life who just sat back when everyone was having fun during some meaningful celebrating or self contained moment that wasn't stupid and self absorbed, and just sat back bitterly spouting snark and cynicism and how "this wasn't impressive" or "this is cringey"? Or if you're that reclusive, the one disliker for every video on Youtube? That is the NORPie.
NORPies are denizens of every internet subgroup who are self aware to the fault. These are the kinds of people who have the hidden agenda of aiming to make things palpable for "normal people", while at the same time keeping their individuality to have them stand out for the sake of being cool to help stroke their ego to give them any sort of pulse of self motivation out of selfishness and self absorbed narcissistic Hitler levels of glory. NORPies however, suffer from not knowing these aspects of the world around them: 1) Modern day USA based Society is infact, a total shitheap run by stupid people who talk out of their ass and blindly follow whatever is given to them when they attended school and blind nationalism instilling social gatherings, and 2) They don't know how to act like real men, let alone human beings, thanks to the former. NORPies were those sieved out from such nationalism instilling social gatherings to be inspired by those who embodied such examples of "what makes our molehill great", but deep down hate and feel sorry for themselves for not sucking up to such standards and project their frustrations and dickless whining onto other people through hobbies and whenever confronted with things that dare to "challenge our ways of life". So rather than stake their own claim in life, NORPies are ultimately conformists who follow the same veins of Hitler's rise to power.
Within the internet world, NORPies can be found as:
- Internet forum/community elitists.
- Comments section peanut gallery cynics and outspoken grudgewankers.
- Satire and edgy article sites that tout themselves as having "common sense"
Frank Grimes: The Ultimate NORPie
The Simpsons is beloved by many a NORP and non-NORP alike. However, to spot a real NORPie is to bring up the topic of The Simpsons and one of its most polarizing characters: Frank Grimes.
Frank Grimes is the example of the Ultimate NORPie. Within The Simpsons' world, Frank is a pitiful, bitter, and washed up dreck of a loser that makes even the pitiful and constantly screwed over Ol' Gil character more sympathetic than him. He is also an example of bad writing. Ultimately inspired by William Foster of the movie Falling Down, Frank is said by creators to be the embodiment of "what happens when a normal person enters The Simpsons' World". Frank's childhood was explained by a news special on him in his premiere episode: He was abandoned by his parents who filmed their abandonment of him, and was forced to not attend school because he was demanded for some magical reason to be a delivery boy that delivered presents to rich parents and their brats. Because his grimdark edgelord Gary Stu childhood wasn't enough, he was forced to work as an information clerk and at a refinery at night while he forced himself to study science to get ahead in life. His graduation from correspondence school was then said to have been sabotaged by a bird who flew away with his diploma and school credentials papers. He then got a job into a nuclear power plant because its greedy and corrupt owner took pity on him and employed him.
Within his episode, Grimes is portrayed as an uptight faggot of a bitter working class stiff who will take it up the ass to stick to the rules to the R. According to many, he's supposed to be the "opposite" of the title Homer Simpson, who works hard for very little and gets no free lunch in life. And for some reason, this has garnered the sympathy of millions to relate with him.
Grimes for a matter of fact, is a huge fucking loser who hasn't done anything with his life. Say what you will about society and needing to be a "productive member", but Grimes is a huge buttfucked asshurt faggot who wanted to be a NORP his entire life. To these ends: Grimes has not stuck up for himself as a dignified human being, Grimes hasn't ever stuck it to the man when it came down to how miserable the assend of society got and continues to be, Grimes takes things up the ass like a bitch to garner sympathy and respect from something that won't ever give it to him no matter how hard he works and jumps the hurdles, Grimes will work for and overlook the actions of a corrupt billionaire who purposefully undermanages his power plant to cut costs while being the whipping boy and chew toy of this charade, Grimes refuses to take responsibility and stand up to the challenge of how his life rolls, and hates on a guy who was deliberately badly written to exaggerate how stupid he is while he is misinterpreted as a man who has it easy in life. We're happy Grimes is the "protagonist" of his escapade, because at the end he truly did become An Hero and spared us all from his insufferable shittard stiff fuckery filled existence and that wreck of televised animation. Not even other characters nor even the abysmal writing of later seasons of The Simpsons were as horribly exaggerated and overblown as Grimes was.
NORPies will and will always relate with him because of what he embodies: self pitying and jealous anger that they aren't "normal" and "has what the normal man has".
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