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Ohio

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Ohio is a shithole excuse of a state in the Jewnited States, in Middle America and best described as the Armpit of America. It is only of importance every fourth year in Presidential elections where the Presidency can be won with only 27% of the popular vote by winning 270 electoral votes as Ohio has 18, down from 20 after the 2016 census. The only reason anybody knows that the state exists is because, if you are doing a family show on Tv, they will most likely live in Ohio like Family Ties and Leave It To Beaver, The Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame being in Cleveland and The Football Hall Of Fame in Canton.
It is known for its mass export of Drew Carey and for its releasing of Ed O'Neil on America. Ohio is widely known for having four unique seasons -- almost winter, winter, still winter, and construction. Ohio, or what North East Ohians like to call the trailer park of America or the rest of Ohio, is famous for having one of the highest populations of white supremacists, hicks, and retards (Unlike ED, they SRSLY believe Obama's a Muslim), due to its close proximity to Indiana, and the ridge runner states of West Virginia and Pennsylvania.
A favorite attraction of Ohio is creating moon-crater-sized potholes that rival Pennsylvania's. Since it's so craptastic, no one bothers to fix them and after it rains, children can be found floating face down in them.


It's known for having four of the shittiest cities in America (and that's saying something): Cleveland, Dayton, Columbus and Youngstown. Only Detroit, New Orleans (the black parts), and Baltimore are worse. Other than Toledo (which isn't really so much "shitty" as it is unremarkable) all the other "cities" in Ohio are small towns filled with midwestern hicks that nobody cares about.

Note to Eurofags: Don't bother using Ohio as an example of why America sucks. Ohio is the butt of every joke ever in the USA. Everyone hates Ohio and Ohioans (yes, that's what you call them). But Detroit is way worse.

If you are born in Ohio, you will never leave Ohio for good. The only way to do so is to become president, become an astronaut, invent a mode of transportation, host The Price Is Right or be LeBron James and betray the state to such a level that the only intelligent option is to run away.

We're not Detroit!


Ohio's main selling point: "We're not Detroit!"

Geography

Ohio is round on the sides and high in the middle. The streets are under constant construction and always littered with dead animals, and depending where you are and the time of day, bodies.

State Government


He didn't win the election.

Typical Ohio resident's activities

If you move to Ohio, be prepared to stay for a while.
Just your average Ohioan
Actual license plate in Ohio.
  • Sit on your ass
  • Watch football
  • Throw rocks at cars with michigan license plates as they are trying to drive to Florida
  • Get into fistfights with Steelers fans because no Browns fan can verbally explain why the Browns dont suck.
  • Drink
  • Drink
  • Continue to drink
  • Plan your suicide.
  • Attend the nation's largest Country Concert in Fort Loramie
  • Drink because you just wasted part of your life at a Country Concert in Fort Loramie
  • Go over to Fairfield Mall and have a really fun time with the teenagers there.
  • Kill 11 people and leave them in your house like the dumb nigger you are. Ohio is known for producing 8999 serial killers, most of whom leave Ohio. See Ohbutyouwillpet and Jeffrey Dahmer.
  • Own a small town
  • Get all your stuff repoed because of payday loans.
  • Get an STD
  • Drink because of STD
  • If you're from Southern Ohio, go to a gay bar looking to pick up a fag and then kick the fag's ass when your friends see you with him.
  • Watch football because you're a redneck
  • Start a shitty college band at Ohio State University
  • Get addicted to meth
  • All the cool kids are saying Heroin is the in drug this year.
  • Go Fagging. This is where young boys try to pick up older men for money at a mall.
  • Drink because of your addiction
  • Watch civilization degrade at a rapid pace
  • Drink because of said degrading
  • Philosphise on how Lake Erie smells exactly like your mom's cunt.
  • Claim that this is the year that OSU doesn't lose to an SEC team in the National Championship (Note: This will never happen)
  • Hate on Michigan and University of Michigan (good for easy trollans)
  • Start a methlab.
  • Arguing over tornado sirens.
  • Start a war over who owns Toledo (Wait, that's already been done)
  • Go to a Columbus Blue Jackets game
  • Drink because you know you can never leave
  • Hoard exotic large cats because of lax state laws, then set them loose on an unsuspecting populace and an hero for maximum lulz [1]
  • Shoot a innocent elderly man of your own race out of pent up anger and frustration because your wife cucked you

Public oral sex

WATCH AND DECIDE THE TRUTH FOR YOURSELF


   
 
she was being raped, and afterwards took pictures with her rapist and bystanders?
 

 
 

—beantown


   
 
I seen the unedited video and pictures, she was smiling the whole time
 

 
 

—Brett Gibson


   
 
i saw the video...not once did she protest, not once did she push him away, she actually put her hand on her head and thrust her pelvis up towards his face, enjoying it
 

 
 

—Del Manzueta


   
 
the video I saw online clearly shows the female taking he male by the back of the head and pushing his face into her crouch. A female can say what she wants after the fact but the video speaks for it self. I think she was probably drunk, enjoyed what was going on then got embarrassed when all H broke lose and decided to act the victim.
 

 
 

—John Wall


   
 
I saw the picture if she's being rape, she is sure was enjoying it.
 

 
 

—Rozita


   
 
The woman did not show any resistance nor did she ask for help in away and did not seem to be anything other than a willilng participant. People were present recording this and you're telling me she could not stretch a hand out or utter a word or show any sign that she was trying to get this guy off of her? If she was drunk to the point she was incoherent, she wouldn't have even been able to prop herself upright.
 

 
 

—Subliminal18

Apparently there's a viral video circulating around where a girl gets oral sex (cunnilingus) from a guy on the street. This happened a block away from a police station outside Athens Ohio

After feeling ashamed, she filed some false rape charges even though in pictures and witness testimony she was clearly conscious, smiling, pulling his head into her, and telling him not to stop.

Naturally the media blew this out of proportion and simply believed the woman at her word that it was a rape and called her a 'victim' and such even though the jury saw through the bullshit and threw it out:

Other news sources were somewhat neutral in their titles:

Quotes from Ohioans

   
 
Madam Speaker, it started with the training bra and then it came to the push-up bra, the support bra, the Wonderbra, the super bra. There is even a smart bra. Now, if that is not enough to prop up your curiosity, there is now a new bra. It is called the holster bra, the gun bra. That is right, a brassiere to conceal a hidden handgun. Unbelievable. What is next? A maxi-girdle to conceal a Stinger missile? Beam me up! I advise all men in America against taking women to drive-in movies who may end up getting shot in a passionate embrace.
 

 
 

— Jim Traficant on Bras in 2001


Population

Ohio is home to a wide variety of interesting people, from the college students at Ohio State to the elderly at CGNU. At least 50% of OSU students are fags, while the other 50% are Asians. The population is often bitter, due to their inability to drive properly, their close proximity to Michigan, and their all-around vacant space. Suprisingly, some are Furfags, others are Nintendofags

It is a common misconception that Ohio allows lulz; but like Boston, Ohio hates lulz. Because they're all insecure about the fact they live in a crappy little state, if you ever try to fabricate, discuss, or terminate lulz you will be v& for attempting to have fun.

Some of Ohio's more famous residents:

Gallery of Ohio

See Also


ED USflag.png The United States of Dramatica
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Not a
state yet
Australia | Canada | China | Cuba | District of Columbia | Guam | Iraq | Israel | Japan | Long Island | Latin America | Philippines | Puerto Rico | United Kingdom | Vietnam
Settlements Boston | Cleveland | Chicago | Detroit | Kansas City | Las Vegas | Los Angeles | Lubbock | Miami | Minneapolis | New Orleans | New York City | Philadelphia | Pittsburgh | San Diego | San Francisco | Seattle | Spokane | St. Louis | Washington, D.C. | Trona




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