Oklahoma is a state located in the central United States. Oklahoma is also located in Dumbfuckistan, and Jesusland. Oklahomans, legally known as Oklahomos, are renowned for their hatred of niggers and spics. Oklahoma has three different landscapes: flat, flat, and flat. If you can find a tree in Oklahoma that is larger than 10 feet tall, you would be a state hero.
Oklahoma has the highest geographical diversity than any other state in America, you can find mountains, forests, deserts, plains, swamps, and mountainous deserts, but you can’t find good fucking roads or financial opportunities. The government has used this shitty miserable land to train soldiers before heading off to shithole countries like Vietnam and Afghanistan. Amazingly there is one ecological element common throughout all of these diverse regions, hot humid weather. This leads to a common phrase in Oklahoma called “Muh Humidity” to explain why everything is so fucking miserable. Despite having a large amount of tornadoes, no one owns a storm shelter, and if they do it’s filled with roaches and liquid AIDS and unusable. If there is a tornado, people will get drunk and watch it, praying it will come in their way and end their miserable existence.
Oklahoma's climate shifts between unbearably hot and freeze your balls off cold, with about a two day mild period in between. Our weather is as unpredictable as a 13 year old girl on her period. The weather is so unpredictable that asking what the weather will do is a free pass for any Okie to beat and rape you for being such a fucking N00B (it is un-ironically considered a stupid fucking question). But there is one natural phenomenon that Oklahoma almost never experiences, rain which is followed by intense humidity turning everyone's ass into a sweaty hot slimy ass swamp.
Winter is cold and windy while summers are hot and humid. They split the year equally into leaving a two day period in between where the temperature is bearable. Oklahoma happens to have daily tornadoes and they hunt down those who vote democratically, niggers, rednecks, and those who don’t sacrifice a lamb to Lord Gary England (state hero)
Oklahoma's earliest history is shrouded in mystery. However, it is believed to have originally been inhabited by large talking bipedal iguanas. These natives evolved separately, not unlike their counterparts in africa, the niggers. These early natives are now known as injuns(the casino kind, not the customer support kind). At least 100 years ago, the injuns gave their land to the kind, and gentle white people. This completely non-invasive action caused the savage injuns to revolt against the nice white people; the injuns unfairly tricking the peaceful white people out of all their money. This ignited World War I, which raged for many years and only ended last thursday. A part of the truce allowed the filthy savages to build casinos to steal money from the least intelligent of the white people.
Injuns: Okies have the dumbest way to differentiate someone from India and an ugly ass alcoholic who lives on a reservation asking if they are a “Dot or Feather Subhuman”. After getting BTFO by whitey, Injuns now have their own Ethno State complete with their own laws, police, housing, healthcare, and military. You can only receive these benefits if you are a certified Aryan and have an Aryan Card, proving again that you can do anything if you’re a Subhuman in America, even setting up a government approved Ethno State. All Injuns are either fat, ugly, or both and their only contribution to society has been supergonorrhea and their made up language used to successfully confuse based Nazi decoders in WWII. With casino money, the Greedy Injuns (Or Tribal Jews) have fucked the US government for more monies in the past few decades.
Life In Oklahoma
Oklahoma sits not only at the geographical ass crack of America, but also at the cultural one, making this state even more of a clusterfuck than it already is. You hear a lot of retards calling something like a simple carbonated beverage several different things such as soda, pop, coke, and Fizz Jizz. The accent sounds like the inbred child of Southern Hick and a Midwest Hillbilly. Okies also add letters and names for things that make no sense. A good example is Jet Ski, which Okies call Sea-DooDoo, and the word “wash” that is pronounced “warsh”.
Everyone in Oklahoma is depressed and gives no fucks because of our glorious Leader Mary Fallin who has assraped everyone in the state multiple times with shitty policies. If you ask any Okie if they voted for Mrs. Cuntface McTrooperFucker, they will all say no, making it a mystery of how she got elected to begin with. If someone said they did vote for her, then the whole town will bound and gag that person before burning them alive and screaming the Oklahoma Anthem at them (which they stole from that faggy ass Branson show).
For entertainment, Okies have 2 college football teams, a horrible NBA team, rodeos, guns, beating your children/wife, lynchings, and meth. If you’re lucky enough to live near the border, you will go to another state to shop, have fun, give birth, receive competent medical help, and generally everything else.DudeWeed. Oklahoma then declared any alcoholic drink over 0.1% alcohol can not be chilled when sold or sold in gas stations as a means to subdue Niggardly behavoir. This lead to Okies simply drinking 1,000 Keith Stones to get drunk and pissing 100 gallons in a span of 3 hours.
Politics in Oklahoma can be described as “Fucking Useless” or “Gay”, there is little difference in Democunts and Republicucks, as both have the uncanny ability to waste of oxygen and get paid for it. Of course, Retards claim there is a huge difference between the two parties despite both parties getting drilled in the ass with crude oil used as lube by the Big Oil Companies.
Oklahoma has the highest incuntceration rate of America, making it the highest cunt imprisonment rate in the entire fucking world, but besides this impressive statistic, everything else is shitty. Oklahoma is 2nd to Russia in meth addiction, 2nd to Taiwan in Bad Driving, and 1st in the world for Tornadoes.Mary Fallin is a well known fat prostitute troll and known for sucking over 6,000,000 Okie dicks to get elected as Governor twice. Fallin unsurprisingly cucked her husband by fucking State Troopers, she has also stolen money from dead people, created the most executive orders in the entire history of Oklahoma, and banned Fag Clouders, Dip Shitters, and Fag Smokers from doing their homosexual acts in the state. Fallin also trolled the Useless Potheads for Lulz by declaring Mariguana is legal and grow-able, but can not be bought in a smoke-able form, essentially B&’ing marijuana after people voted to legalize it.
Update: Lord Mary has left office. Oklahoma still sucks oil dick.
A State of Conflict
Oklahoma has 2 major conflicts; the battle for the best severe weather pr0n and the continuous fighting over unpaid niggers in pads. supposedly attending college.
We start with the great battle for control of the tornadoes. There are 3 warring factions in this great fight, lead by commanders G̶a̶r̶y̶ ̶E̶n̶g̶l̶a̶n̶d̶ David Payne (KWTV-9), Mike Morgan (KFOR-4) and R̶i̶c̶k̶ ̶M̶i̶t̶c̶h̶e̶l̶l̶ Damon Lane (KOCO-5). Many eons ago Lord Gary was born from a funnel cloud in the shithole of Seiling. With the birth of Lord Gary, all settlers and Injuns had to bow to his wrath of giving us the shittiest climate imaginable. The Okies were tired of living in this shithole, so 2 men rose to end Lord Gary. First you have Mike Morgan, the only white man to come from Tulsa, who staked his claim at outpost 4. Rick Mitchell made his claim at outpost 5. This set the ground for many local TV commercials about who had the best weather team.(Seriously, that's a big deal here.) These factions had a chance to unite when Moore got fucked by some spinning cloud on May 3rd, 1999, but chose to criticize each others coverage and thus continuing the civil war. The mid 2000's roll around in relative peace because fucking Gary chose to calm the fuck down for a goddamn minute. Mike Morgan, who is still dead set on ending Gary, has an apprentice by the name of David Payne (A fucking clown who needs to die in a scooter crash). The year is 2008, Gary rages at Picher and speeds up the exodus of the cherished and beloved town. Cool. We reach 2011, where Gary has a tantrum about college football and ends the state of Alabama. Also cool. Finally we reach 2012, when Mike Morgan sends David Payne to outpost 9 to overthrow Lord Gary. Also, Rick Mitchell realized Oklahoma is shit and fled to TexASS. Gary senses the end of reign coming and unleashes his destruction on Moore once again on May 20th, 2013. Gary, still in a fit of rage, unleashes another tornado (the largest and most powerful tornado ever) 11 days later. However this move was his final as he used all his energy creating it and he didn't have the power to move it into the OKC metro. He did however kill stormchasers and bait Mike Morgan into a causing a public panic. With Gary weakened, David Payne overthrows him, thus bringing on an era of tornadoes only happening every other day, compared to 28 times a day. This peace did not last, as David strives to become as powerful as the great Lord Gary. This story now continues to May 2019, Where David finally gathers the power to form tornadoes. Mike Morgan and Damon Lane sense this great threat soon to happen on May 20th, and caused the whole state to fucking shut down by panicking on broadcast. This was all a huge overreaction, as David Payne is weak bitch with a tiny penis.
These faction still battle on twitter, as Gary has returned, using his well respected meteorology skills to deny climate change on his pro-Trump twitter feed. What an Okie!
TL;DR - TV weathermen fucking hate each other and constantly bitch about it on twitter. This actually important in Oklahoma.
The Second Conflict; Bedlam and The Red River Rape
Oklahoma State and OKlahoma fucking hate each other. The matchup against Oklahoma is all Oklahoma State plays for. The Oklahoma State Cowboys fucking suck so the mighty Oklahoma Sooners don't give a shit. They hate the Texas Longhorns as they battle in the Red River over who has a shittier state. The series is very even and always causes an Okie to fuck a pig and scream the state song.
Picher is a shithole formerly infested by hick miners and spic miners. It is home to piles of toxic waste known as chat, which are also the tallest mountains in Oklahoma. It is located in the frigid northeast corner of the state, where summer temperatures only reach 95. The mining industry pwnt this whole town and now the water is as toxic as Cleveland! If that won’t kill you try lead poisoning (almost as bad as being from Oklahoma). Picher today is now a ghost town with 0 inhabitants, far from what it was Last Thursday. Funny enough, the former EPA chief, Scott Pruitt, was attorney general of Oklahoma while Picher was getting anally raped by lead poisoning. Lol!
Oklahoma City and surrounding slums
Oklahoma City is the only population center with any fucking future. It has a sales tax of 325.925%. (see Sweden). It has many neighborhoods and some still have white people. The area located near the state capital is an African village full of crackheads and the dreaded nigger. The south side is full of small dick spics who think they’re shit and an MS-13 member. NW Oklahoma City is the only place where you can find a white person within official city limits. This will not last long as all of the females have jungle fever and only want the massive ape dick. Northeast Oklahoma City is niggers.
•Bethany - A W̶h̶i̶t̶e̶ Mexican community full of pussies, furries and Nazarenes
•Warr Acres - A darker Bethany but without religion
•Nichols Hills - Wealthy people whose wives fuck niggers
•Edmond - a white outpost that is now darkening; has one Cuban
•Piedmont - The hick infested area where tractors are the form of currency. Slavery is still legal in Piedmont.
•Yukon - Urban Piedmont. Named after Yukon in Canada after one snowflake was observed.
•Mustang - Poor Yukon
•The Village - Bankrupt Nichols Hills
•Midwest City - Niggers
•Del City - ^
•Norman - Moore without the extensive history of angry wind.