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An Opinion is a fictional concept used by individuals who hate confrontation or people who can’t stand being told they are wrong. The truth is that everything you say is right and people who can’t handle the reality of their own idiocy label it as an opinion so that they can pretend that it may not be true. The proper response to being told that what is, in fact, truth is just your opinion is one of the many variants of STFU.
Opinions were invented by hippies when they were spawned in the 1960s. Unlike other species of basement dweller, the hippies couldn’t compensate for the flaws in their ideology. They sought to end corruption in politics and war by doing lots of drugs and listening to shitty improvised music. Since the hippies were part of a reproductive boom for the people of Earth, they all grew up to be democrats and had a shitload of babies just in time for the internet. Now there are millions upon millions of retards parading around cyberspace saying whatever they want and becoming butthurt whenever they are told in what way they are completely and utterly fucking stupid.
Types of Opinions
Opinions, like technology, atheists, and AIDS, have evolved into several subspecies. Each inherently idiotic due to its roots, yet different enough to warrant explanation. Understanding the various types of opinions is necessary if one hopes to pwn newfags rather than become one themself.
|PRO TIP: Do not have a humble opinion unless you are about to say some seriously insulting shit afterwards or else you WILL look like a pussy|
A Humble Opinion is used to describe something said by a pussy of disturbing proportions. Before saying something that might make another hippie-spawn butthurt they will insert In My Humble Opinion followed by either a flaw in someone they are afraid of or a record-settingly stupid theory. This is a tactic used to preserve their ego so that when the subject begins to rage at them, they can say that it is just their opinion and therefore fictional.
Example: In our humble opinion, anyone reading an ED article on opinions is a fucking loser who can't back up what he says.
An Entitled Opinion is born from situations where the number of people saying shit that isn’t true far outweighs what you are saying. Feelings are hurt, and someone who is trying to avoid broken ideologies interjects with that famous phrase that usually only makes things even more lulzy:
—Someone who doesn't realize that they really aren't.
This denotes that even if the people you are attempting to educate are denying that the jews were behind September 11th, you have to let them remain in their ignorant bliss. This person, who is usually a lolcow, believes in peaceful and free coexistence. They are willing to enforce this opinion with an iron fist, ironically.
Your Opinion, Man
Unlike most other instances of opinion, "That’s just, like, your opinion, man." has become a manifestation of opinion IRL and is usually not encountered on the internet unless on an independent movie loving community. When encountered IRL, it’s a common phrase used by a hippie (surprised?) who considers themselves to be on friendly terms with you, which they obviously are not. You will encounter this phrase when you tell them something on a personal level to fuck with their view of the world, and they directly tell you that they’d rather ignore the truth. The “man” is added as in hopes you will view them as friendly and try to coexist. The answer to this, if you have learned anything you should know the proper response from reading the first paragraph of this article.
Respecting opinions is the safeguard for pussies who are afraid of having a conversation that devolves into insulting and ALL CAPS. To avoid this, you should always be nice and have respect for one's opinion regardless of how retarded it is. Also include No offense tho in case the other gets offended. Also to be an even bigger pussy.
|Opinion is part of a series on Language & Communication|