Orly Taitz

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Orly Taitz
Orly Taitz 0195As-not-cropped.jpeg
Species Lunatic
Gender Female
Location California, U.S.A.
Claim to lulz Mother of the Birthers
Weapon of Choice Heaps of Paperwork and Lies
Website Orly?
You mean lol?
   
 
I thought you typed "Orally Taints" Which, I would presume, would be to lick a person...oh, nevermind.
 

 
 

—Everybody gets that confused.

Orly Taitz is a Soviet butthurt conservative nutjob and IRL troll who currently makes a living making up shit for the lulz. In addition to being a psycho cunt, Ms. Taitz is also ugly as sin which helps her cause among conservatives. So upset that a black person became president, she decided to start a movement (the birthers) that would make the 9/11 truthers seem sane by comparison. Of course like most conservative "causes," evidence and facts were not required, only a huge amount of butthurt and fat people.

Background[edit]

Orly has the dirt, but nobody will listen.
   
 
Are you supposed to wear your tinfoil hat when looking in the soup for messages?
 

 
 

—Orly eats Cyrillic alphabet soup.

Prior to the 2008 presidential election various chain emails were circulated around the internet claiming that Obama was not a “natural born citizen,” and that being such, he was not able to become president. Because of these emails, many right wing nuts were given some hope that Obama was really not their president and took the words in those emails to be gospel. They didn’t know they were being suckered in by another right-winger attention whore who also happened to be a scam-whore extraordinaire in the person of Orly Taitz.

Since both the state of Hawaii and the secret service both checked out Obama before he applied for the campaign, even before he became a senator. In fact, they even dug up an old Hawaiian newspaper announcing his birth. But did Taitz’s drive for outing Obama stop there? No. Both have certified that Obama is a citizen and that, it would seem, should have ended the insanity right then and there. State certification is not enough for the certifiable Birther pack, they still carry on, attempting to somehow remove Obama from office even though almost everybody is tired of hearing from them.

Description[edit]

Known as the Birther-in chief, Orly Taitz is a Russian immigrant and attorney in the state of California. As far as her description goes, that is where sanity stops and the unreality begins. She has a dental degree from some Israeli university, she has a mail order law degree from someplace, and she claims to be a real estate agent. All of these claims have a bit of quasi-truth to them, but quickly melt away under a tiny bit of scrutiny. Also, since she was raised under the Soviet regime in Russia during the cold war, she (like most ex-commie Russians) has a paranoid streak a mile wide; considering any sort of opposition part of the “Obama Thugs” who are out to silence her…possibly forever. (queue sinister music)

Lies[edit]

Nevermind the Mexican food, this chick is insane.

1. Orly lied that she escaped from the Soviet Union 20 yrs ago. That would be 1989. But in 1987 Orly was married in Las Vegas USA as an established resident of California.

2. There is no record of her immigration, arrival in USA or naturalization, although records for those events are publicly available for the years from her birth through present day.

3. Orly’s had 3 anchor babies. Isaac Yitzhak Taitz, 14 Jul 1989, Benjamin Samuel Taitz,7 Oct 1991, Ronald Michaeladam Taitz, 3 Sep 1993. When Orly registered Ronald’s birth Orly fraudulently gave her maiden name as Auerbuch instead of Averbuch. Maybe both are fake names, because there is no record of her in the official list of Soviet Citizens from 1960-1987.

4. Orly claims Orly got her dental degree from Hebrew University in Israel. Was that before or after her “escape” from the Soviet Union? Hebrew U does not have a record of her on their Alumni list. A fake dental degree explains the dozens of dental malpractice suits filed against her.

5. Orly paid someone to take the California Bar exam for her. Her lack of knowledge of the law and of legal procedures supports this. Her terrible grammar and spelling shows her lack of formal education and supports the theory her dental degree is fake, and of course her unaccredited online law school required no prerequisites or LSAT.

6. There is no record of her in the list of California Registered voters.

7. The same year as her marriage, husband Yosef opened Daylight Chemical Information Company, even though he has no degree listed anywhere.

8. Orly claims she is also a realtor but that is another lie. Her license was revoked years ago.

9. Orly calls herself a Constitutional law expert, but besides the obvious fact that Orly doesn’t understand it at all. Orly’s never had a case before, other than defending herself against malpractice.

10. Orly claimed that her website and Paypal account were hacked by invisible boogiemen.

11. Claims that the Constitution requires for both of the president's parents to be natural born citizens as well. Particularly lulzy since this is so blatantly easy to prove as untrue.

The Saga of the Website[edit]

File:Orly Taitz6.jpg
Orly's proof: some certified letters she sent out to somebody...
   
 
I knew she was going to give it up after her site got taken away from her and she was exposed as a fraud.
 

 
 

—Sometimes it takes a crystal ball to figure this stuff out…

Taitz considered it her moral duty to spread her fanatical word to every ear that will listen. She did this by blogging her addled brains out constantly while traveling across the United States, visiting gun shows, tractor pulls, and any other event where you might find large groups of right wing redneck open-carry gun-toting nuts gathering. She spent huge amounts of cash, energy and time criss crossing the states, doing her self-given duty until somebody decided to halt her madcap antics by outing her as a liar.

Orly told everybody that her PayPal account and her website were hacked. She filed reports with both the FBI and her local sheriff’s department, but was still asked to leave her hosting by her own webmaster because he was tired of her shenanigans. The webmaster then kindly provided huge amounts of proof that she was off her nut and was confusing internet downtime and traffic issues with a true hack. In any event, the site was moved, much to the happiness of the jilted webmaster.

SCOTUS[edit]

The President is above such foolishness.
   
 
We can sue.
 

 
 

—No Orly, no you can't anymore.

Birthers claim that Obama cannot legally be president because he isn’t a natural born citizen of the United States. Since the 2008 election, they have been rattling cages and making noise in any way they can, but they received the final knock-out blow when their case was thrown out by every court it was presented to. Finally, even the Supreme Court of the United States tossed out the charges, telling Taitz and her pack of goons to hit the road.

Even a batty liar like Taitz could see the writing on the wall and gave up her struggle…leaving only this quote as a footnote to her nutty tale of idiocy:


   
 
Lawsuits for Obama's eligibility unfortunately have gone and will go no-where. They are huge waste of time and completely ignored by all the courts, including the Supreme Court time after time. Marches and Protests are more effective as they alert other people to these issues, but do not address the root of the problem or real issues.
 

 
 

—You are lucky they ignored you rather than putting you in a rubber room.

What’s Next?[edit]

Looking for new disciples.

What exactly is next for Orly Taitz is up to speculation. She has gone on the record since her SCOTUS smack down and called Obama a communist. While this may be true, her past pretty much makes it a foregone conclusion that anything this nut says is gonna be shrugged off like the whispered intonations of a madwoman.


   
 
State Sovereignty is the only solution at this time for stopping the hi-jacking of this government and turning it into Communism. Protesting taxes does not protect the Constitution. What can you do today to protect the Constitution? Because preserving the Constitution is preserving Freedom.
 

 
 

—Pssst…Orly, nobody cares.

At this point it appears that she is tottering from one sort of conspiracy to another, testing the waters and keeping an eye open for whoever will listen to her. In short, this makes her a drama whore and attention whore who happens to have enough money to get her face into the media…if only to be laughed at. Even still, her potential for mischief is still something to worry about, because there is always some moron out there who will listen.

Update[edit]

Victory through faulty paperwork?
Soon after the official announcement, scam emails were sent out by the truckload.
   
 
The latest argument by the judge says that I was supposed to serve Obama by a certain Rule-4I. My argument is that it wasn’t applicable, as I served him as an individual, on inauguration day, for his action before he became the president. He does not qualify to get governmental representation, meaning he has to pick (up) the tab.
 

 
 

—Orly?

A Judge in California has scheduled a July 13, 2009 hearing where Orly, upon victory, can request Obama’s birth records. Looks like she is back in business. What this really appears to be is some last remaining dregs of the original cases she filed back in January. Because of the backlog of cases in the California courts system, this new case has recently risen amid the floating ocean of paperwork found there. Once it was brought to light, a judge, David O. Carter allowed the case to proceed…making one wonder what he has been drinking.

Feb 23, 2010: The poster child for stupid cunts has filed with the UN for "protection" from 0bama. The irony of someone devoted to American nationalism calling the UN because she's butthurt is rather lulzy.

Quotes[edit]

   
 
Thus, Plaintiff’s counsel, who champions herself as a defender of liberty and freedom, seeks to use the power of the judiciary to compel a citizen, albeit the President of the United States, to “prove his innocence” to “charges” that are based upon conjecture and speculation. Any middle school civics student would readily recognize the irony of abandoning fundamental principles upon which our Country was founded in order to purportedly “protect and preserve” those very principles.
 

 
 

— Judge Land, after threatening to banhammer her if she tried to bring this up again.

   
 
At least Dr. Orly's going to continue to be a source of laughs ... though I was hoping some judge would smack her down with sanctions eventually.
 

 
 

—The won’t give her the time of day

   
 
Her old site has me in stitches, and is an object lesson in no one ever volunteering to help out a crackpot conspiracy theorist, even if you semi-sympathize. The webmaster here seems to have sympathized more than "semi" but is being savaged for it nonetheless.
 

 
 

—Hey, it worked for Hitler didn’t it?

   
 
that leads them to over-use capital letters? Someone should tell Ms. Taitz that common nouns aren't capitalized unless they appear at the beginning of a sentence.
 

 
 

—Must be her Russian background.

   
 
When Free Republic is a step up, you are in serious trouble.
 

 
 

—Hey man, don’t lump the freepers into this, even they don’t deserve this kind of treatment.

Gallery[edit]

Video[edit]

Orly being outed by a fellow birther as a dirty whore who was gang banged by her legal team.
Orly challenges the media to find out the troof.


Some bald fat faggot blathering on about something nobody really cares about.


Orly's just trying to get the truth out, and they're stepping on her!

   
 
LET ME EXPLAIN!! LET ME ANSWER!!!
 

 
 

   
 
Orrrrly!? Orlllllyyyy?! Earth to Orrrlllyyy??!?!
 

 
 

   
 
Crank! Craank!! Ann Coulter says you're a craaaaaaank!!! How do you respond to that?
 

 
 


Video Links:

See Also[edit]

External Links[edit]


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