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It is usually the case that when a beloved family pet dies the average person will take it upon themselves to dig a hole in the backyard, bury them in an old shoebox and have done with it. The extraordinary person however, will take their former companion's carcass and fuse it with machine parts. Such was the case with Bart Jansen, who took his dead cat Orville and transformed him into something more powerful than any living creature ever to have existed: ORVILLECOPTER™
Back in the day, Dutch artist Jansen kept a house-cat by the name of Orville. All was fair and good in the world until Orville's life was tragically ended by an unfortunate encounter with a moving automobile. Following a brief period of mourning Jansen stuffed Orville's body into his freezer then, like a true Dutchman, embarked upon a six-month weed and hooker binge managing to entirely forget the by now frozen feline nestled deep amongst his pepperoni pizza and ice-cube trays. Once Jensen sobered up he was quick to convey Orville to a local taxidermist before then mounting an engine into his eviscerated belly and attaching propellers to each of his paws. After a few test runs, Jensen determined that his newly-created Orvillecopter™ was ready to be revealed to the world. He debuted the cyborg at an art fair and thus managed to spark a shitstorm which still rages to this day.
Orvillecopter Horrifies Sheltered White People
Videos of the maiden-flight soon made their way onto YouTube resulting in viewers the world over suddenly becoming militant radicals of the animal-rights cause; here are a number of quotes from the outraged activists:
— I don't think Jensen would mind.
Horrified netizens went on an e-rampage against Orvillecopter™, failing to acknowledge their own hypocrisy in expressing concern over something that was already dead when most of them eat meat from animals that are tortured throughout their entire lives. Some Dutch e-dwellers with a case of the feelies even managed to leave the musty confines of their basements in order to deface the convention center within which the art festival was being held. Jensen has remained strangely silent throughout the ordeal, probably preoccupied by the tsunami of loose bitches that comes with creating a successful work of art. He does, however, have this to say in regards to his greatest creation:
—Truer words have never been spoken.
Oddly enough, PETA have also failed to speak up, suggesting that they too have been bedazzled by the aviatronic awesomeness of Orvillecopter™
Orvillecopter & Wikipedia
Being pseudo-intellectual cunts a motion was passed by Wikipedians for the removal of Orville's article; which had been created in order to highlight this astounding development in technology's relationship to the animal kingdom, it ultimately passed with a 70/30 majority in favour of its deletion. A link to the tl;dr debate has been appended into the External Links section of this article; aside from the usual claims of the subject lacking notability this spergfest did manage to produce a particularly heartwarming tribute to Orville in the form of a poem:
Orvillecopter in Action
- Animal Abuse
- Animal rights
- Ann Liv Young
- Interior Semiotics
- Bart Jansen's website.
- Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Orville (cat)
- Analysis of Orville's deleted Wikipedia entry.
- LA Times - Orvillecopter sparks global outrage.
- GadgetBox - Art or 'macabre' pet send off?
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Bad things that happen to animals
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