PC Gamer

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Not to be confused with the magazine "PC Gamer", which is too shitty to have its own article.

This is what PC Gamers actually believe.
This is what happens when you overclock your PC.
PC Gamers love the Turbo button.
If your PC looks like this, you are a PC Gamer.
Standard PC Gamer mouse. Allows you to play FPS one-handed, so you can fap while you drool all over the graphics in Crysis.

PC Gamers are HARDCORE GAMERS. They are graphics hardware Nazis who fap to games that require a retardedly expensive PC to run. Only people suffering from a serious lack of brains would reasonably spend over 9,000 dollars to soup up some shitty eMachines or Dell monstrosity that will become obsolete within a month for the sole purpose of playing games. PC Gamers are more concerned with benchmarks, specs and hardware than the games themselves, which is why they play shitty tech demos disguised as games.

PC Gamers: Identifiable Traits[edit]

PC gamers are an unusual breed, a subspecies of Nerdus americanus, which are renowned for their game loving. However, PC gamers are even gayer than other species of nerds. Most specimens of gamer tend to be basement dwellers. A PC gamer's lair is often a dark, shit-smelling room in the basement of their mother's house.

These types of gamers are very undateable. Most PC Gamers settle for a 2D drawing of a loli, or pictures of camwhores. When gamers do get hawt n' raunchy, they often engage in facepalmingly embarrassing cybersex with fat furries, which is often called fapping to Habbo Hotel. Girls can be PC gamers too.

They tend to be somewhat belligerent, while mainly comparing their computers like they would compare their dicks, even when the reality is that their penis is as useless as their computer.

Most PC Gamers will fly into a rage over certain technological limitations that causes serious butthurt when a hacker comes into play.

Most games that PC Gamers play are first-person shooters. The object of these games is to kill as many people IRL to become heroes. Many fanboys have taken up this venerable challenge and all have become an heroes to satisfy their needs for losing their iPod.

Some PC Gamers will overclock their PCs. This means they are willing to put thousands of dollars worth of hardware at risk for a few extra FPS in Skyrim, and a slightly larger e-penis.

PC Gamers are also known to buy cases with transparent sides and fill them with pointless neon lights, in order to show off how awesome their gaming rig is.

Building Your Own[edit]

Possibly the most outstanding showing of nerdom possible is to actually build your own computer, with the exception of doing the aforementioned and putting fucking Linux on it.

Companies That Will Build for You[edit]

Here are the two companies that are most likely to fuck you in the ass. Alienware, a subsidiary of Dell, is a computer building company that charges way too fucking much for its computers. Related closely to iBuyPower, CyberPowerPC, and Vigor Gaming (lol robbed), Alienware's objective is to fuck you in the ass with prices. With computers that cost ten grand that can be built by Nerd Kings for a mere one and a half, and nearly all the publicity as opposed to how to actually build one's computer, it is obvious why so many console users look down on PC users as rich, stupid, or otherwise nerdy as hell. Given the fact that most console players are weed-smoking niggers that you meet over Halo 3 or Cock of Doody 4, it's also a good note that nobody gives a shit what they think. They'll die alone.

Alienware[edit]

Though the Alienware case is badass. You can change the colour of LEDs on the front panel that make the case glow. The only drawback is the lack of the case window, and owning the case makes you look like a PC newfag.

Vigor Gaming[edit]

With flagship rig the Colossus beginning at six grand, you can be sure that this is the only company giving Alienware such a strong running for who is going to pwn your money the most. However, with the Stealth model beginning at $600, they do attempt to redeem themselves. Too bad the Stealth is a piece of shit. Vigor gaming's warehouse was burglarized by niggers around early 2010 due to shitty security and is now permanently closed down.

Windows[edit]

Windows is the primary OS of PC gaming, although recently Steam has moved to be compatible with MacOs and Ubuntu as well. PC gamers usually display an extreme adeptness for working with and cleaning, and basically performing routine maintenance on Windows other users are too lazy or stupid to do, and will often brag uncontrollably about it.

Things PC gamers like to do[edit]

PC Gamers buy $5000 gaming rigs for this[edit]

Gallery[edit]

Gallery of PC Gaming Fail About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Links[edit]

See also:[edit]

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