Parkland Coffee House Spree
On 29th November 2009, Maurice Clemmons, a baby-raping felon with a heart of gold decided to RAGE at a coffee house just outside of McChord Air Force Base in Washington (more like BAWWshington- amirite?). Four police officers, eating donuts and daydreaming of Jack Bauer before their shift, became his target. He took out two before they knew the round had started. One stood up but froze due to lag, and the last of them managed to return fire and score a hit before he fled the scene.
— Maurice Clemmons dispensing with subtlety
Early Life and Lulz
Clemmons lived in Marianna, Arkansas in his early youth, and moved to Little Rock as a teen. Clemmons was arrested when he was a junior at Hall High School for carrying a .25-caliber pistol on school property. He claimed to be carrying the gun because he was "beaten by dopers", and said he had "something for them" if they attacked him again. In 1989, a 17-year-old Clemmons and two other accomplices robbed a woman at midnight in the parking lot of a Little Rock hotel bar. Clemmons pretended to have a gun in his pocket and threatened to shoot her if she did not give him her purse. When she responded, "Well, why don't you just shoot?", Clemmons punched her in the head and ran off with the purse, which contained $16 and a credit card.
By 1990, Clemmons was sentenced to 108 years in prison for eight felony charges from his teenage years in Arkansas. The total prison term stemmed from multiple sentences, some of which were concurrent to others and some were consecutive. The largest sentencing came in 1990, when he was given a 60-year prison term for breaking into an Arkansas state trooper's home and stealing about $6,700-worth of items, including a gun. During his sentencing on the charges, a circuit judge told Clemmons that he had broken his mother's heart, to which Clemmons responded, "I I DID IT FOR THE LULZ." Clemmons was also sentenced in 1989 to 35 years in prison for robbing that bitch in front of that Little Rock hotel bar. Among his other sentencings were six years for weapon possession based on his high school arrest; and eight years for burglary, theft and probation in Pulaski County on September 9, 1989. Clemmons was not to be eligible for parole until 2015 or later...
—Brian D. Wurts, president of the Lakewood police union.
I <3 HUCKABEE, and killing
In 1999, after having served 10 years of his sentence, Clemmons filed a clemency appeal with Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee. In his petition to Huckabee, Clemmons wrote he came from "a very good Christian family" and was "raised much better than my actions speak". Clemmons claimed he "had just moved from Seattle, Washington, to Arkansas as a teenager, and because he had no friends he got in one little fight and his mom got scared And said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air' " Although Clemmons apologized for his actions, he also complained that he received overly harsh sentences. He also claimed to have changed and expressed regret that his mother had recently died without seeing him turn his life around. Clemmons' clemency application was supported by both Huckabee and Pulaski County Circuit Court Judge Marion Humphrey, who argued the cumulative sentence was excessive and cited Clemmons' young age at the time he committed the crimes- completely ignoring the fact Clemmons was claiming to be from Washington, even while holding the police record stating his place of birth as Arkansas
The decision was made over the objections of victims and prosecutors involved in Clemmons' previous cases. Mark Fraiser, an attorney who prosecuted early cases against Clemmons in Pulaksi County, argued Clemmons was extremely likely to commit further acts of violence in the future, and said for a teen to receive such a lengthy prison sentence without committing a murder, "you've got to be a bad little dude".
Against the wishes of his prior victim's families, and pussy jew lawyers- the Huckanator commuted Clemmons' 108-year sentence to 47 years, 5 months and 19 days, which made him eligible for parole that day.
Wishing to make good on his promises to turn over a new leaf, Clemmons promptly violated parole by committing aggravated robbery and theft again in Ouachita County. He was convicted on July 13, 2001 and sentenced to 10 years in prison. Clemmons also faced charges of parole violations, but due to problems with the case, he was not served with the charges until 2004. His attorney argued the parole violation charges should be dropped because so much time had passed, and they were subsequently dismissed. Clemmons was granted parole on the robbery charges in 2004. He told the parole board he was "not ready" the first time he was released, but that he 'doesn't want to die in prison' and will "try to do the right thing".
Following his parole in 2004, Clemmons had no arrests or problems with the law until May 2009. On May 9, a Pierce County sheriff's deputy responded to Clemmons' home after reports he was throwing rocks at houses, cars and people. When the deputy tried to enter the house, one of Clemmons' cousins grabbed his wrist. After a struggle, Clemmons emerged from the house and punched the deputy in the face, and assaulted a second deputy who arrived to help. Clemmons was placed under arrest and taken to Pierce County Jail, where he continued to struggle and told jail workers, "I'll kill all you bitches." Clemmons was charged with two felony assault charges and two felony malicious mischief charges, and released from jail the next day after posting a $40,000 bail bond without seeing a judge.
Oh lawd, is dat sum racial profiling?
The Seattle Times reports raised concerns over possible racial profiling in the manhunt that followed the killings.
— State trooper Cliff Pratt
His 'network of people' who helped to hide him should be dragged through the streets, or at least roundly trolled. Nicole Cheryleen Smith, his wife, is suspected of helping him escape, as are other members of his family. Fake tips meant to mislead the police have lead to the silly nigger bleeding to death. And nothing of value was lost.
—Fox News, getting it wrong again.