Parrotheads

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Note the bald/long hair combination characteristic of aging hippies.

Parrotheads are Jimmy Buffett fanbois who are renowned for their love of cosplay, drunken faggotry and such extreme levels of douchebaggery that they are hated by almost everyone outside their fagtarded little cult.

Who They Are[edit]

We have a yacht, but we're chill about it. It has been confirmed that Jamie Demeter's parents are on the left.

According to South Park, "nobody likes Jimmy Buffett except for frat boys and alcoholic chicks from the south." This is true. But a lot of Jimmy Buffett fans are also old rich guys who got rich by selling out but think that they can stay hip and remain in touch with their youth by drinking beer with other rich old guys wearing Hawaiian shirts while jamming to some fat rawk. However, several of their premises are incorrect.

The lemon party guys support Buffett 4lyfe.

Jimmy Buffett was never hip. He was a product of the seventies mindset, which was fueled by drug use, of "I'm ok, you're ok" and of not being hassled by the man. Jimmy Buffett's especially lame iteration of this philosophy revolves around drinking lots of rum in the Caribbean and having absolutely no motivation. The fact that Buffett is worshipped primarily by khaki-wearing corporate whores who have slimed their way to positions of high power using their connections is hilarious irony. Of course, many of these men were ex-frat boys themselves.

Alcoholic girls from the south

Perhaps fittingly though, Jimmy Buffett does not really make music anymore himself and instead heads up a corporate empire centered around a shit chain restaurant that sells overpriced margaritas and cheeseburgers (LIKE THE SONG "CHEESEBURGER IN PARADISE" OMG GET IT!!1!). He heads a media empire envied by even Gene Simmons, who is adept in making money off his fans. Hilariously, Jimmy is himself a liberal who espouses a lot of liberal guilt. Undoubtedly, he does not see any conflict between his beliefs and his love for Jew gold.

All Parrotheads want to suck Jimmy's cock and would make every concert into a Lemon Party if they could. That means that all the old rich guys and frat boys are total faggots. On the plus side for Jimmy, that means that there is a lot of jb willing to give up pooper that he doesn't have to compete for. Of course, a lot of parrotheads are fat hausfraus.

In short, Parrotheads are Deadheads with more money and less integrity.

Cosplay[edit]

Cock goes where?

Parrothead cosplay involves donning some sort of embarrassing tropical regalia and basically looking like a total faggot, like any other sort of cosplay. However, because it is done by people who are rich and beautiful and not pasty animu basement dwellers who fap to yaoi, it is somehow more acceptable. Dressing up can go from the classic and simple grass skirt, to a baseball hat, hawaiian shirt and khaki pants. Basically, you have to dress in a manner that tells the world that you are a total douchebag and don't give a fuck about anything else.

Parrotheads OTI[edit]

They are srsly everywhere on the internet, and like anonymous, they come from all walks of life. They are also scarily well organized with local chapters in your town as well as everywhere else, except for Africa. There are no niggers in the Parrotheads and, in fact, joining the parrotheads is a way of showing your racial pride. Many of these chapters have their very own online forums and websites and they hold regular events that involve cosplay, alcoholism, bad singing and general white middle class faggotry.

Trolling Parrotheads[edit]

Lolis love Jimmy Buffett.
  • Tell them that Jimmy is actually a country musician. This is true, but parrotheads consider themselves to be above the typical redneck country music fan.
  • Replace one of their sites colorful tropical backgrounds with goatse or other shock images
  • Ask them why there are no black parrotheads and accuse them of being racist. Because a lot of parrotheads have white guilt, they will protest but they won't be able to address the fact that there are no black parrotheads.

FAILERY[edit]

External Links[edit]