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Paul Walker was a noted American pedophile, D-list screen actor and a race car driver wannabe, who did America a favor by driving his Porsche, his boyfriend, and his skull into a telephone pole thus ridding America of a reckless menace to society. A cheer arose from crowds after seeing the explosion resulting from his reckless disregard for a really nice car. Walker is now smoking crack in Hell with Nikki Catsouras.
Walker began his small screen career as a toddler, when he starred in a television commercial for Pampers. He began modeling at the age of two and began working on television shows in 1985, with roles in shows such as Highway to Heaven, Who's the Boss?, The Young and the Restless, and Touched by an Angel.
Last Thursday, Paul Walkers life took an unexpected turn when he was attempting to be like his favorite hedgehog at Over 9000 miles an hour and exploded into a million smouldering pieces near Santa Clarita. Walker was not the driver of the vehicle at the time however, his beaner associate was not famous enough for anybody to give even half of a fuck. Following his death, members of the Westboro Baptist Church announced their intention to picket the funeral on the grounds that if you live a fast and furious existence you will get pwned by God. Known for appearing in The Fast and Furious series, the ironic nature of his pwnage generated a large number of lulz.
Within twenty-four hours the internet's top scientists and comedic talent had collaborated together to fashion, mold, and refine the best Paul Walker jokes their ingenious minds could devise. Disregarding, of course, faggot pools such as 9gag, as that pussyfart of a website was FILLED with "R.I.P Paul Walker zomg" posts even though half the users didn't know who he was before he died. In fact, some argue his death advanced his career further than his acting did.
Paul Walker will be guest starring in the second half of season 4 of The Walking Dead.
Paul Walker is part of a series on