Phantasy Star III: Generations of Doom

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Phantasy Star III: Nipple Lasers of Doom

Phantasy Star III: Generations of Doom (Weebspeak: 時の継承者 ファンタシースターIII; Literally: Successors of Time: Phantasy Star III) is a turn-based JRPG that was originally released in Japan on April 21, 1990, for the Sega Mega Drive and was later brought to North America in July of 1991. After the massive success of Phantasy Star II, Sega decided to put their best developers on the project take all the time that they needed to make sure that Phantasy Star III would be the best and most polished game it could possibly be. Hahaha, we're just kidding of course – Sega actually sent all of their good developers to work on Sonic the Hedgehog and then forced a team of inexperienced developers who had never even played the previous Phantasy Star games to shit out a half-arsed "sequel" in less than 13 months.

The end result of Sega's corporate greed is a game that's so hated by the Phantasy Star fandom that Sega now likes to pretend that it never even existed and even excluded it when they were planning on remaking the Phantasy Star series for the PlayStation 2. Aside from having seemingly nothing to do with the previous entries in the series, a soundtrack that will constantly ear rape you, bizarrely erotic monster designs and generally just looking like shitPhantasy Star III is also known for being such a buggy mess that it puts Bethesda to shame.

Aside from being an incredibly shitty RPG, Phantasy Star III is also a Choose Who To Fuck simulator that features branching paths and different playable characters based on which waifu you choose to marry at the end of each chapter. You even get the option to breed with your very own cousin, because Japan is totally into incest. Not that any of your choices will actually matter though since the ending is always the same regardless of who you choose to fuck.

This game is also notable for introducing the Phantasy Star series' unofficial official cute mascot enemy, Rappy (a.k.a. Chirper), a fucking Chocobo with Moogle antennae that has appeared in every fucking Phantasy Star game since and even managed to force its way into the remakes of Phantasy Star I & II despite not appearing in the original version of either.


¡Yo soy muy macho!

The battle system in Phantasy Star III remains largely unchanged from Phantasy Star II, but you can now have five party members instead of four and more than two different types of enemies can appear in a single battle. When entering a battle, you will also now be treated to the following ear rape until you issue commands to your party.

After issuing commands or breaking the cartridge with a hammer, the ear rape will be replaced with one of three shitty battle themes based on whether the game thinks you're winning, losing or evenly matched during a battle – while this would have been a neat feature, the fact that your ears will be bleeding at this point somewhat defeats the purpose.

Because the developers of Phantasy Star III had never actually played an RPG before, the poison status in this game doesn't cause your health to slowly decrease like in every other fucking RPG ever – it instead prevents healing spells and items from affecting a character until the status is removed. To make the game even moar of a fuckup, the technique that removes the poison status only has about a 50% chance of actually working.


The confusing bullshit that they did to the technique system. We don't get it either.

In an attempt to piss off Phantasy Star II players even moar, Phantasy Star III changes up the technique system from the previous game . Each character already knows all the techniques they have access to, but you can alter the power distribution of techniques at stores throughout the game. Also, a lot of the effects were changed from Phantasy Star II since the developers of this game were retards.

Melee Techniques
Foi is a fire attack on one enemy.
Zan is a wind attack against a row of enemies.
Gra is a gravity attack against all enemies.
Tsu (correctly named Barta in Jewpan) is a water attack against half the screen despite the fact that this was the fucking thunder attack in the previous game.

Heal Techniques
Res restores a single party member's HP.
Gires restores all party members' HP despite the fact that it was Sar that did this in the previous game.
Rever has a chance to revive a dead party member.
Anti has a chance to remove the poison status from a party member.

Order Techniques
Fanbi raises a party member's attack power despite having the name of the drain attack from PS2 and the effect of Shift. Can be exploited to do thousands of points of damage to enemies with a single hit.
Forsa can instantly kill an enemy despite confusing robots in PS2.
Nasak kills you to heal all your allies. Still fucking stupid.
Shu raises a party member's defense. Can also be exploited to attain God Mode.

Time Techniques
Ner raises a party member's speed. Unsurprisingly, it's exploitable.
Rimit increases the party's chance of escapimng despite paralyzing organic creatures in PS2.
Shiza silences an enemy. Actually works on robots this time.
Deban prevents an enemy from attacking despite being a fucking barrier spell in PS2.

Shit Techniques
Megido blows up the evil city.
Grantz prevents you from blowing yourself up along with the aforementioned evil city.

Playable Characters[edit]

1st Generation[edit]

PS3 Rhys Sprite.png Rhys (Kein Sa Riik)
A blue-haired Orakian faggot just like Rolf. He's stuck in a love triangle with Lena and some cyan-haired bitch who washed up on the beach a few years ago.

PS3 Mieu Sprite.png Mieu (Mieu Type S2)
Orakio's ancient female sex robot who's been waiting at least 100 years for Orakio to return with his big, black sword. She joins the party in every generation.

PS3 Wren Sprite.png Wren (Searren Type 386 System)
Orakio's ancient male sex robot.

PS3 Lyle Sprite.png Lyle (Lyle La Mirah)
The green-haired Layan bastard who abducts Rhys' waifu at the beginning of the game. He can turn into a dragon by screaming "I'm a dragon; a DRAAAAAAAGOOOOOON!!!", srsly...

PS3 Lena Sprite.png Lena (Lena No Satera)
A fucking boring and useless Orakian woman who was set to be in an arranged marriage with Rhys before some other bitch washed up on the shore.

We're Too Fucking Lazy To Fix Our Game So Let's Blame The Player[edit]

Phantasy Star III infamously features a potential softlock at the very beginning of the game. If you choose to sell all of Rhys' equipment, you'll be able to buy an Escapipe from the item shop, if you then choose to use the Escapipe after getting sent to the dungeon during one of the first cutscenes of the game, you can then talk to the king who will deliver this line of dialog.

You used your escapipe! Normally a smart move, but now I'm afraid the game can't be continued. Please press the Reset Button and try again.


—What happens when devs can't be arsed to actually fix their game

Reception & Effect on Phantasy Star IV[edit]

Phantasy Star IV ended up straight up copying the first two games due to Phantasy Star III being such a pile of shit.

Literally noone likes Phantasy Star III. Not even people who like Phantasy Star III like Phantasy Star III, they're simply lying to themselves. The game was so fucking bad that Sega ended up planning Phantasy Star IV to be the end of the series and attempted to make it copy the first two games while ignoring the third entirely. The end result was the series ending on a game that's a literal rehash of Phantasy Star II with a few added features and much better dungeon design – but which also features a disturbingly similar plot twist with the main waifu being killed off by the big bad of the game's first act.

There's not much to even say about Phantasy Star IV aside from saying that it's the exact same shit as Phantasy Star II and features a fuckton of blatantly fanservicey references to the original Phantasy Star. You can thank Phantasy Star III for killing the series.

Trolling Phantasy Star III Fags[edit]


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See Also[edit]

External Links[edit]

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