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Never been to school they know everything

A Philosophizer is an uneducated internet user that tries to practice philosophy on the internet and believes that complex situations and ideas can be summed up in sound bites of ten words or less because, not having the attention span to read whole books, they copy the one sentence quotes that come in books referencing the great thinkers, thinking that a few words are capable of summing up an entire situation.

Contradictory to real philosophers, philophizers put very little thought into what they are saying and merely want people to praise them for being smart. Their idea of wisdom is what is currently "In". In other words they are trendy fuckers that can only quote Nietzsche so long as he is in the process of being used to compare current events.

Lacking any advanced training in thought, they are very repetitive and lack any originality, for instance all politics and politicians they disagree with are reminiscent of the Nazi party.

Their goal is not to extend the wisdom of the field they're writing about but rather to display themselves as being an original, creative and as a person to be listened to.

It's Mostly About Rationalizing[edit]

[ Bis, unlike gays, will fuck anything

Most philosophisizers emerged when the internet was created by Al Gore, soon after he created pants, because as a wealth of sick shit was now available for consumption so was the need to protect one's ego and make claims that what they are doing is perfectly normal and it's actually the person disagreeing with them that has the problems.

The system works like this, make an absolute statement that doesn't take into account opposing arguments but supports your idea completely. When the statement is done insult everyone who disagrees with you.

Examples of philosophizing can be found in Generation Snowflake because as they are being taught that they are original, creative and intelligent along with their being no wrong they go on to contradict themselves when they attack their opposition.

Some examples include but are not limited to:

  1. ) God can't exist because my Mom died.
  2. ) Children are naturally curious about sex so sex with a child is ok.
  3. ) The God that you believe in made drugs so it's perfectly fine to do them because it puts them above laws I don't agree with.
  4. ) Sex is defined by how you perceive yourself, not genetics.


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  • The Classical Period

This was when the internet was first invented and was accessed mostly by college students, geeks and existed until computer prices went down and the geek element was removed from the internet. As most college students feel the need to show off and there were no real public message boards, this was mostly the last great age of philosophy as people argued against each other in productive ways to prove or disprove points. As most arguments ended in stalemate and a video game generation coming in that defined itself by winning and losing the next generation sadly came about.

  • The Neoclassical Period

The beginning of the end. As more people came to the internet for porn and public chat boards and were seriously owned by the elite, there was a desire to bring the internet down to their level.

It was quickly learned that if topics were hijacked, the so called elitist could be run off from the topic or the site in whole with simple answers like pop, or who cares.

While the classical period did survive somewhat, it was Twitter that put the nail in the coffin of intelligent discussions.

  • The Modern Period

The modern period began with twitter when people could censor who they wanted to read their comments by blocking anyone who disagreed with them.

As this period doesn't have to face the scrutiny of others who disagree with them, nor do they have to defend their thought from others it is clearly the downfall of intelligent thinking.

Why Be A Philosophizer[edit]

As a part of Generation Snowflake, you already know how intelligent, creative and original you are so it is your duty to inform others of the right way to think while you block those who disagree.

How To Troll A Philosophizer[edit]

When they can block you on forums like Twatter, you can't. Leave them to their stupidity. They can't even change themselves so there's no chance of getting through.

See Also[edit]

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