Phineas and Ferb
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Phineas and Ferb is an American cartoon television series that only appeals to the sheep that enjoy the shitty recent Disney shows. Watching one episode of this atrocity is just like watching all of the other episodes, except for the minor tweaks here and there. This is because every episode follows the exact same formula (see bellow). In short, this show is a blatant rip-off of Dexter's Lab, with every character being so obnoxious that it makes you want to drill your ears.
The plot of every episode goes like this:
- Phineas shouts out "I know what we are going to do today" and then someone says "Where's Perry?" as he's seen sneaking off.
- Phineas and Ferb builds whatever Phineas suggested earlier and this is when Isabella comes in soaking from front to back, with her phone obviously buzzing away to say, "Whatch doing and why ain't it me?"
- Perry the Platypus is sent out by a Josef Fritzl lookalike to stop Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz from doing something retarded
- Candace finds out what her brothers are doing, so she goes and gets her mom to show whatever Phineas and Ferb are doing. This is also the point of the story when Candace's Azn friend Stacey, voiced by that hot chick from the Scorpion King, starts getting pissy because Candace is ignoring all the hints that Stacey is telegraphing, saying that she wishes Candace would stop with the crazy so Stacey can eat her box.
- Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz invention then somehow removes whatever Phineas and Ferb were buliding.
- Candace (somehow) surprised after whatever Phineas and Ferb were building to be gone right before her mom gets to it. Candace gets depressed and Stacey offers to scissor with her to cheer her up.
- Oh yeah, and add in random shitty music segments with asperger dancing
- Phineas Flynn: A boy that looks like a fucking Dorito. He wastes his time with his aspie step-brother, Ferb. He spends his time making shitty inventions that break the exact same day. Phineas is too retarded to stop the most pointless inventions or get a clue that Isabella wants to fuck his ass in half.
- Ferb Fletcher: A silent, autistic faggot that serves little to no purpose to the show at all. His head is the "F" in the title, which stands for his faggotry
- Candace Flynn: Phineas' batshit crazy and flat chested sister, who has a mission to show her mom that Phineas and Ferb are making inventions. But of course, she fails every time. She also wants Jeremy's cock, since she is so desperate. She is also too dumb to realize in all her crazy that Stacey is fiending to eat her out. Known for her ability to only play instraments starting with a B. If the skinflute was in that list, it might not have taken her so long to get Jeremy.
- Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz: A German "Dr. Evil" wannabe who adds nothing new to the whole "comedic villain" trope. Oh and in every fucking episode, let's have a fucking conversation until Perry finds a way to break free from his traps! Like most Disney Villains on Tv shows like Dr Draken on Kim Possible or Yzma on the Emperor's New School he discovers he is actually good when the show is canceled.
- Linda Flynn: The hawt ginger mother of Phineas, Ferb, and Candace. She's always too busy to put up with Candice's bullshit of trying to bust her brothers because who the fuck would want to deal with an ADD, hyperactive spaz every day of their life?
- Lawrence Fletcher: The British father of Phineas, Ferb, and Candace who is obsessed with inventions or some shit like that. The purpose of his character is to amuse old fags with nostalgia references usually centered on The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Best known as being Richard O'Brian's slow descent into obscurity.
- Isabella✡: A worthless slut who's goals intend to ass rape Phineas. Though she constantly shows cliche obvious signs towards him, the triangle headed douche is oblivious to it. Her biggest life problem is her being half Jewish and half Mexican. One minute she can be a raging slut like all mexican women and a second later when the Jew side kicks in, she's a cold hearted bitch that thinks forplay is 5 hours of begging. Every episode is pretty much 10 and a half minutes of her flip-flopping between these 2 sides.
- Baljeet:The Raj Koothrappali/Apu of the show. He is obsessed with school work, has Bengal music when ever he walks onto screen, weird accent, etc, etc. Same old recycled curry nigger jokes you've seen eleven-billion times.
- Buford: The Nelson Muntz of the show who only bullies the Indian kid. Is it obvious that one of the creators of the show used to work on The Simpsons? Having a need to show parents that he isn't a complete asshole, he's a philosophy nerd, can speak several languages including French and has a fascination with obscure musical instruments like the Devil's Harp. Logically one would think him being a bully he'd be a fan of Nietzsche or William Blake who said to deny one's impulses is a corruption of the human spirit but he's a fan of Voltaire who is ironically best known for bitching about intolerance and promoting the nerd lifestyle of studious education. Is absolutely terrified of Jeremy's 6 year old sister Suzy Johnson because of a little trouble they got in earlier that summer when Jeremy walked in to see her riding Bufford's face like a spring horse at a park.
- Stacy: Some Asian teenager with no personality. Only exists so she can be a bitch to Candace and so Candace can be seen as having at least one friend. Candace never seems to notice that she doesn't have a boyfriend or her constant hints that she wants Candace to eat her like she's eating a donut hole first. More flat chested than Candace but since she's Japanese is perfectly fine. Stacy is jealous of her little sister Ginger because all the asian genes for being good in school, being good at standardized tests and being good at math went to her and the only thing Stacy has is being a 16 year old cam whore that will probably an heroine by drinking bleach.
- Vanessa: Doofenshmirtz's daughter. She's meant to be a goth but clearly the creators have no idea what goths are as she looks more like a GIMP. Ferbs's love interest and fap material for the fantards because she's maybe one of two recurring teenage girls on the show with any tit. Since Candace easily comes across as creepy and unable to make friends, she becomes Candace's friend in later episodes and initiates Candace into her world of Prozac and self injury.
- Jeremy: Candace's boy friend. A teenage boy who is as interesting as watching your friend play runescape. This character is blander than the most obnoxious Mary-Sue in all of anime. He's a G-rated version of Jeff Fischer from
Family GuyAmerican Dad. Jeremy's character was used less and less until he was getting, maybe, one line an episode because of his voice actor, Mitchel Musso, embarrassing Disney when he was charged with DUI. It was because of his lacking a vagina that he wasn't given a second chance like Lindsay Lohan or Miley Cyrus.
- Jenny Brown: Candace's other friend who is basically a doormat, she's only appeared in about 3 episodes, one where she's striking to save pigeons from extinction or something. Fans theorize that she has no idea what a bikini wax or a lady bic is and most likely has a sweaty jungle down there.
- Django Brown: A boy who is one of Phineas and Ferb's other friends who, like Ferb, has literally no lines of dialogue and only appears in like what, only 5 episodes, only one of which where he actually talks. Is also Jenny's younger brother as confirmed by the creators (go figure). Was replaced by bufford because he's so boring.
- Eliza Fletcher Ferb's cousin. Appears in only one episode where she tries to teach Candace how to be a Limey. Embraced by the fans because they now had someone else to ship with Candace other than the over 9000 Fireside Girls in the show. The least vanilla character because her punk background suggests heroin use and her English background and at least 100 brothers suggests incest.
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