Pink Spider

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Sinatra laughs at your vampire ninja faggotry.

Pink Spider, aka Rhi is an overrated, arrogant attention whore with imaginary talent and an equally imaginary sense of purpose who spends her time parading around the internets and irl as a self-described vampire among the ranks of Don Henrie and Michelle Belanger.

Due to her Nazi fetish, she likens her administrative efforts to that of sadistic Nazi tactics, though she fails to realize that, unlike the forums she latches onto as well as her life, the gestapo actually had a point. She takes pride in her Nazi-inspired militant efforts to please her vampire masters, hoping that one day she will be upgraded from minion to Master her self. Since Michelle is always in need of a good ego stroke, this will never happen.

"Your balls. I want to squeeze them."

Much like her favorite Japanese band, Gackt, she is batshit insane. She literally bursts into flames if she comes in contact with direct sunlight; not because of any supernatural powers, but because her mind is so fucked having her come into contact with the sun's rays is like dividing by zero.

Despite her outward appearance in conjunction with all previously given information, she fervently denies being goth. Rather, she claims to be "artistic" (see loser), flaunting the fact that she is a wannabe trap but, much to her dismay, lacks the essential harbl.

She claims to be a nerd, but will turn around and laugh at those who actually are doing it right who like shit that is at least semi-tolerable as apposed to her screeching music and barely fappable lolicon.

In her free time she enjoys anorexia, pretending to be in a band, and generally doing it wrong.

OMG UR SO PATHETIC ED[edit]

Spiderresponds.jpg

SHE IS SO COOL!! She doesn't care about this article so much that she writes a journal entry about it and claims it's lyk ttly nawt realz. So tough. We're all proud of you Rhi-Rhi-chan!

She's turning Japanese[edit]

Hardcore ninja

One of the many people on the internet today with an unhealthy fixation with anime and yaoi, she will claim to love just about every popular anime every made just so she sounds like she knows what the hell she's talking about and so educated on the subject. As soon as something becomes popular, she will claim to have loved it for years. Imagine Zeriara, take away 90% of the furry, add 10% Snapesnogger and a dash of asperger's syndrome for seasoning.

As any true weeaboo who longs to be azn, she claims that she is a ninja. Since it is well known that female ninjas are the sluttiest mammals on Earth, she may be speaking the truth, despite her lack of knowledge in the martial arts and that her training programs are really re-runs of Naruto.

She likes every j-pop band that every other weeaboo does, though she claims to also fawn over indie Japanese artists. Another lie, evident because there are no such things as "indie" or "artists" in Japan. It's all corporate funded and formed for maximum selling powah.

She also pretends to be Japanese around people who she thinks don't know she's white, and will talk in Engrish from time to time. She claims not to be a racist, but her fixation and stereotypes damn her to the ranks. She will protest to her dying day that she is not being racist (Despite the fact she's a feminazi bitch) with her outright fetishism of the Japanese people and culture. Lulz.

She is such a Japanophile that her old e-mail address (pinkspider_sou@yahoo.co.jp) was actually registered through the Yahoo! Japan mirror.

The Vampire/Angel/Otherkin/Otakukin[edit]

She is regularly seen as Michelle Belanger's right-hand on her vampire cult site, House Kheperu, acting as her useless authoritarian entity to keep the cutters, fags, furries, and potential an heros in line.

Like Michelle, she claims that her vampire powers are so intense that she can non-physically attack people over the internet, thus trolls should quiver in their boots. Since this is a lie, trolls shouldn't worry.

Aside from being a vampire, in the past she has claimed to be a demon, angel, nephilim (the bastard offspring of a human and an angel), a furry and a j-rocker (despite not being "j" or possessing any musical ability what so ever).

Some claim she has professed to being soul-mates/bonded/alter-egos of various j-pop bands, but pix or it didn't happen.

Her l33t modeling career[edit]

Like her vampire lords Michelle Belanger and Don Henrie, she goes to Pendragon to try to make herself look fappable. Instead, she just looks like a failed clone of Jeffree Star. All it does is accentuate the fact that she cannot smile, but instead makes the same face your mom makes when I stick my cock in her ass.

Spider loves Michelle[edit]

Her boyfriend, the furry cross-dresser...no wonder she strays.
Pretending to be a lesbian...

Michelle and Rhi have been confusing the board and the world in general with their pseudo lesbian antics. But considering the both of them will flirt with just about anything with legs (pulse optional) the shock should be short lived.

Rhi will cuckold her boyfriend for just about anything or anyone, so people should stop wondering and just accept the fact that since she is a female ninja, she can not help her sluttiness. Not that her boyfriend really minds it, after all, he probably likes cock more than she does.

MichelleLOL.jpg

Pink Spider (looking like (an even more coked up) Britney Spears) and her carpet-munching lord and master, Michelle Belanger (we should just get it over with and start calling her "Puggles" or "Pugsley"). Michelle considers ED a tabloid, even though it rarely mentions anyone of real worth.

Related Links[edit]

Thanks goes out to ryu_no_tenshi and Rhi-rhi-chan herself for suggesting some changes for this section!

New Lulz


Old Lulz

Email

  • pinkspiderchan@gmail.com

See Also[edit]

I WILL NOT KILL MY CLASSMATES...
Pink Spider is part of a series on
GOTH
[Grow up and quit whiningEmbrace your inner darkness]
I WILL NOT KILL MY CLASSMATES...

Perverts

Don HenrieJerry from Doomsday Refreshment CommitteeJonathon The InhalerLustiferaMichelle BelangerRyle Garamonde

Pussies

Brittany HolechkoDimmuborgiressIckeriss69KurtBatzLarathenMatt CrimminsMissHannahMinxMsUmlautNeil GaimanNeil Gaiman's SandmanNickolausPaulie CalafioreSinnSol PaisSophie LancasterSuccubbusTrent Reznor

Psychos

GothzillaHouse KheperuJeff WeiseJasmine RichardsonKimveer GillLindsay Kantha SouvannarathMemoryandDreamPink SpiderSephirothslaveSebastian BosseTodd Hoyt

Posers

Dani FilthEx-RayeFesazukichanJack SpicerJetTheeReaperPaganDeathKnightTooDamnFilthyVoodoo devil dollYouZeriara

Places

BasementsColumbineDeadJournalGoth macrosHot TopicRichland Collegiate High SchoolVampire Community Message BoardVampire FreaksVampire PosersVampire Shitty

Pastimes

Aiding the Dark Lord in BattleAngstBeing EdgyCuttingDrugsGuroHalloweenHomosexualityNecrophiliaNot having friendsMurderMy ImmortalPoetryRuby Gloom‎Ruining the InternetSchool ShootingSuicideThe Nightmare Before ChristmasVampirismWhere The Dead Go To Die

Noise

Anal CuntBauhausThe CureDoomsday Refreshment CommitteeDr. SteelEmilie AutumnInsane Clown PosseLinkin ParkNINSlipknotSiouxsie and the BansheesThe Sisters of MercyTool

Pink Spider
is part of a series on
Otherkin
FYIAD.jpg
VampiresHumanoidsReptilesThe RestSee Also
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